Chapter Three
Alison sat across from her daughter and stirred her tea. For the fourth time she called out. "Becky?"
"Hmm?" She replied, looking down at her plate.
"Honey? Are you OK?" Alison's face filled with worry as she reached for Becky's hand.
She poked at her food with her fork. "I'm OK. I'm just thinking."
Alison sighed. Becky's heart was so huge; she was always concerned about something or someone. "What about?"
Becky's eyes were sad as she finally looked up. "Lots of things. First of all, Maggie's hanging around Pete again. He's no good for her but she won't listen to me. Second, I went to see Katie yesterday and I don't know – but to me - she looks really tired and third, I have no idea why people who love each other can't just be happy."
Alison tried to take it all in. "OK. Let's see if I can help you out. Sweetie, Maggie has to make her own choices. If this is what she wants, she will resent you if you try to stop her. I know it's hard, but you just have to let her find out for herself. Next, I'm meeting Katie in an hour, I'll make sure she's taking care of herself and finally, I take it you saw Chloe yesterday."
Becky nodded and sniffled a bit. "I wanted to help them. I was going to try and give them a little push back together but I think I made things worse, at least I know I did with Grant." She looked up at her mother and wiped away a tear. "Mom, I made him more sad. It was the last thing I wanted to do."
"Oh, c'mere." Alison said as she pushed her chair closer to Becky and pulled her into her arms. "Sweetheart, we all want them back together, and I have faith that they will be, someday. Poor Chloe. You know that it's got to be so hard for her. Since Melissa died she hasn't been herself."
Becky knew it was true but she was still so confused. "I know, but I can't understand. Grant would make her feel better, Grant could be there for her when she was sad or missing her mom."
Alison ran a hand over Becky's hair. "When you fall in love, you'll see. Sometimes the things we do make no sense. Something that seems like a good idea turns out to be just terrible."
"Did you ever do something like that?" She asked as she pulled away and ran a hand across her cheek. "Did you ever push Dad away for his own good?"
"Is that what Chloe's doing?" Alison asked. If it was true it would certainly clear things up a bit.Becky nodded. "That's what Grant said. He said she's afraid she'll die like her mom. That she doesn't want him to have to watch her suffer like her mom did. I understand that a little, but this I don't get. Why doesn't she realize that even though he's not with her he still loves her? That he always will love her. She has to see that he doesn't know how not to. Does she think that he'll stop because she stays away?"
Her little girl sounded so grown up all of the sudden. She always had been wise way beyond her years. "I'm not sure what is going through her mind. All I can think is that she must be so confused, honey." Alison's mind raced as she wondered if there would be a way to get through to Chloe. "And to answer your question, yes. I have. I tried to push your father away once in an effort to save him." She took a deep breath and smiled a bit. "But he's way too stubborn. It didn't work."
Becky rolled her eyes and smiled a bit. "Obviously."
She sighed and gazed over at Alison, wanting to know. "Mom? Do you think..." She began and then trailed off embarrassed. She examined her nails as if she was memorizing them.
"What honey?" Alison asked.
"Do you think that I'll be as lucky as you are? As Kate and Grant are too? Do you think there's someone out there for me? Someone who will love me that much someday?"
This was an easy question. Alison smiled as she replied. "Becky – you don't have to worry. I think that's a pretty safe bet."
Becky sighed again, still not sure. "Do you think – whoever he is – do you think that he and I - we'll have to go through something awful too?"
Alison wished she could tell her no, but she knew it'd be a lie. "Maybe. But look at me sweetie. I want to tell you something." She took Becky's hands in hers and made her meet her eyes. "Everything your father and I went through – all the misunderstandings and things that happened - all of it was caused by things that were out of our control. We made some bad choices to help things along - but the one thing that remained constant is how much we loved each other. That love made it impossible for anything to truly come between us."
Becky nodded and looked away again. She knew that's what her mom would say."I'm not going to say that I'm glad about everything we went through." Alison smiled as she continued. "Everything that was thrown at us, no matter how horrible - it just didn't matter. In the end, having you and your brother and sisters, having all our friends and family around us, makes every minute worth it."
"So even though bad things happened, you'd do it all over again? Exactly the same? You wouldn't change anything?"
"I know it's not a good thing to mess with fate." Alison said softly. "And, trust me. There are things that happened that I if I had the choice I'd never want to go through again, but we made it. Safe and sound. So no, I wouldn't change anything. Everything worked out just the way it should."
"Yeah. I guess it did." Becky took a deep breath and smiled. "Mom? I know that it probably won't happen for a while, but is it weird that I'm looking forward to all of it? Even the bad stuff?"
Alison laughed out loud and hugged her daughter tight. "No, honey." She said when she could finally catch her breath. "It's not weird at all." She pulled away and added in a whisper, placing a kiss on Becky's nose. "And you never know. Don't tell your father, but I have a feeling it might happen sooner than you think."
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"Hey Mom?" Lynnie called out softly. "Could you do me a favor?"
"Sure sweetheart." Abby said with a smile, looking up from her desk. "What's up?"
"It's..." Lynnie sighed as she walked into the office, lowering her voice even more. "It's Chloe, Mom. She's sitting on the couch in the back. She stopped by for coffee. I know it's hard to believe but she looks more lost than usual. I thought maybe you could talk to her."
Abby gave her daughter a quizzical look. "Me?"
Lynnie nodded. "You lost your Mom when you were close to her age. Katie, Lia and I – we've all tried to help her but it's no use. She's so confused I don't think she even knows what she's doing anymore. The three of us, we were talking the other day and decided that maybe you could help her." She blinked back tears as she continued. "One day – a long time ago – I told Chloe she was so lucky to have Grant and she told me that she knew someday I'd find Ethan. And I did. So now, I have everything I ever wanted – and it looks like she's lost everything she ever cared about. It's just not fair. They deserve to be happy too."
Abby stood and gazed at Lynnie, pride filling her voice as she said, "You're a very good friend, Gwendolyn. I guess it can't hurt to try."
Lynnie leaned in and gave her mother a hug. "Thanks Mom." She said with a smile. "You know what? I'm so lucky to have you."
"Not as lucky as me." She replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
Taking a deep breath, Abby walked towards the couch. Poor kid. She thought with a sigh. Lynnie was right. Chloe looked like a wreck.
"Hi Mrs. Donovan." Chloe said as her hands shook, spilling a bit of her coffee on the table in front of her. She put it down and stared at her hands, desperately searching for a napkin. "I'm making a mess. I'm so sorry." She said, her voice quivering.
"It's OK, sweetie" Abby said as she sat beside her, handing her a napkin and hoping to comfort her. "Relax. Don't worry about it."
Abby waited a minute before she spoke, unsure of exactly how to start. "Chloe? Honey? I know that you might not want to talk about this – and if so, that's OK. But, you look like you might need somebody to talk to and I can't help but think your Mom would want me to try and help you if I could."
At the mention of Melissa, Chloe's eyes brimmed with unshed tears. "She would – wouldn't she?" She whispered. Gathering her courage, she began to speak tentatively. "Mrs. Donovan - I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I thought I did. I was sure I had it all figured out."
Abby took Chloe's hand and let her talk. It seemed that's all she needed to do at the moment. "I don't understand it. It makes no sense. My mom took such good care of herself. She ate right, she exercised for a living. She was the last person who should ever have gotten sick. But she did and even though my uncle's a doctor, even though he nearly killed himself doing research – there was nothing we could do to save her."
Abby watched as Lynnie rang up a sale and then followed the customer to the door, turning the sign to read "Closed". It was almost time anyway and they didn't need any distractions now. Chloe was finally talking to someone. Lynnie blinked back tears of her own as she watched her friend. Maybe it wouldn't fix everything overnight – but it was more than a good enough start.
Chloe fought to find her voice as she kept on, nearly oblivious to everything around her. "My poor Dad. They were so happy together and then it all came crashing down, like a ton of bricks. I watched him as he sat there by her side – every day, week after week, and she kept slipping further and further away from us. I'll never forget the look on his face when she left us for good."
She looked into Abby's eyes and said desperately. "So. That's why I had to let him go. Before it was too late. Because I can't do that to him. I can't..."
"Chloe." Abby whispered. "You have to know that Grant loves you."
"I know that!! Why does everyone keep thinking they have to tell me? Don't you think I know that?!" She stood and paced a bit, tears streaming down her cheeks and her voice rising in frustration. "I know it because he told me he loved me - every single day. And you know what? He didn't even need to say it, because I could see it in the way he looked at me, feel it in the way he touched me. I get it. I do. I know that he loves me – and despite what everyone thinks now..." Chloe's voice trembled as she spoke the next words, her voice eerily quiet. "I love him too. I always will. I love him too much to hurt him like that. That's why I had to let him go."
She'd hurt him terribly already, but Abby didn't think it was wise to mention that fact at the moment. "Chloe..." She sighed, hoping to get through to her. "Have you really?"
She looked over at Abby and tried to lie, but in the end she just couldn't do it. "No." She mouthed as she sank back onto the couch. She was so completely confused. "I could never. It's impossible."
Everything caught up with her all at once. Chloe fought to catch her breath as she just about lost all hope. "It doesn't matter. I can't fix it now. It's much too late."
Abby waited a second before she began to speak. "Chloe. There were two times in my life when I thought that myself. Both times I thought that I was saving Cameron from something by shutting him out. And both times I found out how incredibly wrong I was."
She took hold of Chloe's hand and plodded on, hoping she was helping things and not making them worse. "The first time, the worst time, was after my mom died. I thought it was my fault. I thought there was something I could have done to save her. He wanted to help me – he barely left my side and instead of being thankful I lashed out at him. I thought it was better for everyone if I just dealt with it on my own."
Abby shivered at the memory. She kept going knowing she had a point to make. "It took me a long time to figure it out. It was easier for me because my nephew's not like Cameron. Cam wouldn't take no for an answer. When I challenge him, Cam digs in his heels and holds on for dear life." She shook her head. "Grant's not like that. Chloe, Grant would do anything you asked of him simply because you asked him to. He doesn't talk about what happened at all, but I'm guessing what you asked him to do was to leave."
Chloe nodded. "I did. But you know what?" She lifted a hand to wipe her eyes. "Part of me didn't think he'd actually do it."
"Chloe." Abby scolded softly, not wanting to kick her when she was down. "You know him better than that."
Chloe nodded again. "You're right. I do." She inhaled deeply and gazed over at Abby, pleading at her with her eyes. "But I don't think I can fix it now. Isn't it too late? "
Abby already knew the answer but had to ask anyway. "That depends, sweetheart. Do you want him to come back?"
Chloe's voice was wracked with sobs as she fought to answer. It felt good to finally say it to someone other than herself. "Yes. Oh God, I do."
Abby smiled and pulled Chloe into her arms, hugging her tight. "OK. Then the answer is easy. Just ask him to."
