NOTE: The title of this part is an excerpt from Henry Scott Holland's "Death Is Nothing At All"; full text appears at the end of the chapter and is used here strictly for non-profit entertainment purposes.
(See first part for disclaimer, notes, spoilers, etc.)

Pt 3: "Whatever We Were To Each Other, That We Are Still"

"How are the children?" he asks softly as he runs his hand through her hair.

"Sean is fine," Olivia assures him. "He's going to school part-time. Still undecided, but he's getting excellent marks in his general education courses."

"What are some majors he's considering?"

"Linguistics and International Business are still in the running…I think he's leaning towards Political Science. But he insists that he's still testing the limits of his interest in those subjects."

Gregory nods. "That's good. Make sure he takes his time and chooses a subject that he is really interested in. There's nothing worse than being stuck with a job you can't stand." He pauses for a moment. "Caitlin?"

Olivia sighs and closes her eyes. "She doesn't call me." She lifts her head from Gregory's shoulder and looks at him with sad eyes. "She calls Sean every few weeks though. He says she sounds fine. Happier, was how he described her."

"Is she still in Buenos Aires?"

"Yes," Olivia replies. "Still studying Art History too."

"Has she said anything to Sean about when she'll be coming home?"

Olivia bites her lips and shakes her head. "I don't think she will be," she says softly. "At least not while Cole is in Sunset Beach…or Trey and I for that matter. It's-, it's too painful for her."

Gregory squeezes Olivia's hand. "Give her time, Liv," he says with a reassuring smile. "I guess you were right about first love burning itself out."

She looks at him, confusion etched across her face until she recalls the forgotten conversation.

June, 1997

"It's her first love. Cole is her first love. I mean," I asked with a sigh as I looked into Gregory's eyes, "don't you remember your first love?"

With a tinge of bashfulness, Gregory glanced down briefly before admitting, "Yes, I do."

"Oh, darling," I said softly as I reached out and caressed him. "Well, for us women, first love is fast and furious and eventually it just burns itself out."

"I should have listened to you," Gregory concludes and Olivia is pulled back to the present.

She smiles sadly. "No. Time didn't burn Cait and Cole…Trey and I did." Her eyes glisten with unshed emotion and she looks off to the side. "My son and I are the reason she divorced Cole and left."

Deciding a change of topic is in order, Gregory asks with a small smile, "And how is Trey?"

Olivia's broad smile erases any trace of the sadness that plagued her a moment ago. "He's wonderful. Sean took him out on the boat a few days ago. He was very impressed with it." She laughs softly. "He's so small that he's impressed with anything bigger than him," she explains. "He was also impressed that it was named after me."

"Amo Olivia Aeternus," Gregory says with a small smile. "Olivia, My Eternal Love." His face turns serious and he asks quietly, "What about you? Are you seeing anyone?"

Olivia's eyes soften as she leans in and puts her hand over Gregory's. She whispers a reply but Gregory struggles to hear her.

"What?"

She clears her throat and repeats in a slightly louder but shaky voice, "After you…Who?"

I've never deserved her, Gregory thinks to himself as he stares dumbly at her. After all the abuse and pain we inflicted on each other, she still loves me. And I her.

"I can't ask you to wait for me, Liv," he states.

"You haven't asked me to."

"I pled out! I was sentenced to a minimum of fifteen years! The hell of my life in here is nothing compared to the hell I imagine for you out there!"

Olivia frowns. "It isn't 'hell'," she insists. "I have Trey and Sean. I see Bette almost every day-"

"And at night?" Gregory interrupts. "Who do you have?" He watches as she lowers her eyes and he softens his tone when he asks again, "Who do you have?" He reaches out and tilts her chin up with his finger so that he can look into her eyes. "Olivia," he whispers as a tear escapes from the corner of her eye and rolls forlornly down her cheek, "don't do this to yourself. You deserve to finally be happy." He gently wipes the tear off her face and says in a hushed tone, "Perhaps it would be better if you stopped visiting." And as he says it, he feels his reason for living drain away.

Olivia's eyes widen and she violently shakes her head. "No-, no darling," she stammers. "Don't-…You can't-…" She tightens her grip on Gregory's hand. "Please…" She swallows past the emotion in her throat and sobs, "I can't stop." With a shaking hand, she brushes away more tears that spill from her eyes. "This is…"

Gregory captures her fidgeting hands and holds them still. "This is what?"

"This is the-, the only," she chokes out with a sob, "time…that I'm…whole." She pulls her hands back and clasps them to her chest. "It hurts when I'm apart-, apart from you." She presses her hands further into her chest for emphasis.

He sighs heavily and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear. "It's hurting you more that you drag yourself up here twice a month." He moves his hand to stroke her cheek but stops short of letting himself actually touch her. "It'll be for the best thing for you in the long run."

She shakes her head. "No. Oh, Gregory…please," she pleads. "Don't-, don't do this." Her eyes continue to plead with him as the emotion overtakes her and she is no longer able to speak.

"If you come again," he promises, "I'll refuse your visit." Her startled gasp tugs at his heart and he suddenly finds it difficult to look at her tear filled eyes. "Get on with your life…Don't come back."

"I'll-, I'll come anyway," she chokes out tearfully.

Gregory shakes his head. "Liv," he sighs, "I lo-, love you enough…to let you go." He looks down as Olivia strokes his hand gently with her finger. With deep regret, he pulls away from her touch and cringes as she stifles another sob.

"I know what you're trying to do," Olivia says after several minutes when she regains her composure. Her voice is hoarse and her eyes are red-rimmed. She smoothes the silky fabric of her blouse and she looks back up at Gregory. "And it won't work." She sighs and glances around the enclosed visiting area. The number of visitors has dwindled down as the end of visitation hour neared. Fear gripped her heart as she realized she had only a few minutes to get through to Gregory. "I love you," she says simply.

He looks back up at Olivia. "Then you'll do what I ask? You'll stay away?"

"No."

Gregory tilts his head. "No?" he repeats with a hint of warning in his voice.

"Don't take that tone with me, Gregory. It doesn't scare me." She exhales deeply and fingers the heart shaped pendant around her neck. "I love you and I'm going to keep coming back even if I have to stand outside your cell and watch you through the bars. And, if you refuse my visits, I swear to god Gregory…I will make your life a living hell when you are released!" she pauses to catch her breath.

With the force of a thunderbolt, Gregory is stunned into silence. He manages to nod slightly as he stares at Olivia, his admiration for her evident on his face. "I just want you to be happy," he whispers.

"Then don't fight me on these visits," she replies. "Would you be happy if I stopped coming?" His silence gives her the answer she seeks. "That's what I thought." As she leans in and kisses him gently on the mouth, a bell sounds overhead.

"Visiting hours are up!" one of the hulking guards barks.

With a small smile, Olivia trails her thumb gently across his lips and wipes her lipstick off him. After untangling her foot from Gregory's feet, she stands up and smoothes the wrinkles out of her white skirt before standing up. She watches intently as one of the guards unchains Gregory from the floor and stands him up before cuffing him again. She steps closer to him and places her hands gently on his chest. With ease, she presses her lips to his and sighs as he responds.

After several moments, the guard taps Gregory's cuffed hands. "Time's up," he says softly.

Olivia pulls away and leans her forehead against Gregory's. "I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too."

She leans back over the table and retrieves her purse. She touches his cheek for a fleeting moment before leaning back in to kiss him one last time. "I'll see you in two weeks."

Gregory watches as she turns around quickly and leaves the visitors bay, her purse tucked under her arm. Her skirt and hips swaying gently with each step. "If you don't mind," he says to the guard when he feels him start to pull him away, "I'd like to just wait until she's out of sight."

The guard checks the locks before nodding curtly. "Just a minute though." He watches the longing on Gregory's face as Olivia walks farther away from them. "Your wife?" he asks softly.

"Yes," Gregory says. "She's my wife."


"Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by the old familiar name. Speak of me in the easy way which you always used. Put no difference into your tone. Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident? Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well." - Henry Scott Holland