Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize from the show is mine… everything else… I wish!

Notes: I'm in the home stretch! I'm actually a couple of chapters ahead of this one as of right now, but I have a hard time editing and stuff so that's why I'm so far behind... hope this doesn't disappoint!


Spinning, Turning, Watching, Burning

Jillian was hoping that with all the good that was happening in her life right now, the thoughts of the past would subside.

They didn't. Even though most of her thoughts were in the present, her dreams painted her a vivid picture of all that she had gone through. She woke, the first night sweating and crying. Her dream that time was the reoccurring nightmare she had about that first night she spent at that church.

Jenny had been quiet throughout most of the night and it was Jillian that kept waking up. Even well after Jenny's usual wake up time, both girls slept, Jenny more fitfully that the Jillian who was thrashing around in her sleep. Jake was about to leave for school when he noticed that they both were not out of Jillian's room.

He knocked lightly and he could here Jillian groaning in her sleep. Afraid that something was wrong, Jake opened the door to see Jillian crying in her sleep. He ran over to her, gently pushing on her shoulder to wake her.

"Jillian? Wake up, Jilly." She woke startled, still crying. She clutched at her heart. She was hyperventilating.

"Bad dream." It's all she could get out. He hugged her tightly, rubbing her back.

"It's alright." She felt a lot calmer in his arms, that is, until he released and went over to Jenny. "Time to wake up, baby." He rocked Jenny, who yawned. "What was your nightmare about?" He was obviously curious.

"Some scary shit I thought I'd forgotten." She looked at the alarm clock Jake had given her. "You're going to be late for school. I got her." She took her and went into the bathroom so that she could cry without Jake watching her.


Only one class period was left and then basketball practice. The day was dragging on, and he hadn't seen Peyton all day. He had time before he needed to be in last period, so he went down the hallway where she was usually found, putting stuff in her locker.

"Are you avoiding me today?" She smiled but didn't turn around as Jake put his hands on her hips and kissed her neck.

"I got here late. Everyone on the squad is sick so I won't see you later either."

"You're making my day worse." He pulled her away from her locker once she replaced the lock. "Please tell me that you're not avoiding me because of everything that's been going on."

"No, Jake-"

"I wasn't trying to be a dick about this."

"I know, Jake."

"I know I just said it to you the other night, but I know in my heart that I've been in love with you for awhile now."

"Me, too." She covered his mouth. "Now, my turn to speak. I was not avoiding you, so don't get paranoid. You need to get to class; we will talk later. Have fun at practice."

Jake couldn't help but smile at the perfection that he saw in Peyton. He pulled her hand off of his mouth and kissed it. She started to walk away, and he brought her back to him and kissed her again.

"I love you." He ran down the hall to get to his class.


Jillian strolled down Main street, Jenny strapped into a baby tote on her chest. She held onto her little hand while Jenny bounced from excitement of going out on the town. Alice had given her some clothes to wear but most were too big, though they both were the same size six months ago. At the church they put her on a strict diet; eating whenever they felt like giving her food.

She worried what people would think as she walked down the sidewalk. She had told her boss, Matt, and he ever said that she could bring Jenny into work with her if she couldn't find another solution. She had expected him to fire her, tell her how horrible she was, or call her names.

But it didn't happen. And nobody, watching her walk down the street with Jenny made any comments either.

"I don't understand you, P. Sawyer." Brooke was sipping on a Starbucks frozen coffee. "You are calm about all of this."

"I love Jenny and she needs a mom. Plus, she seems really cool, like the type of person I would be friends with."

"Making friends with the ex? Have I taught you nothing!"

"I told you the situation. How can you not feel sorry for her? For Jake? Everything that they've been through?"

"I can't imagine my parents going psycho on me like that."

"It scares me a little, too. They were in love and Jenny and her parents, they changed that whole situation for them."

"You don't have to worry, Peyton. It's happening for you, too. I see the way he looks at you. You're the only girl he sees." She spun her straw around. "I wish I could find someone that feels like that for me."

"I'm scared, Brooke. Not to mention we are completely on opposite sides in regards to experiences, but it only takes one time, you know..."

Brooke knew what she meant. "I thought you were on the pill now, Peyton? Don't you guys use condoms?"

"Yeah, but I mean, my mom got pregnant with me on the pill."

"Don't worry. Fate worked differently for them. Fate meant for you and Jake to be together."

"I don't believe in all that Fate crap, Brooke."

Jillian emerged from a store to pass right in front of them.

"Hey, Peyton." Brooke hardly noticed Jillian, until she looked over at her friend who suddenly turned pale.

Did she hear us talking about her? Peyton voiced to herself. She smiled and tried to look not so surprised.

"Hey, Jillian." She looked over at Brooke and made a wide-eyes face. Brooke understood instantly and stopped chewing on the edge of her straw. "This is my best friend, Brooke Davis."

"It's nice to meet you." Jenny was livid, bouncing around, reaching for Peyton. "Looks like Jenny wants to say hello to you."

"Are you wandering around?"

"I had to pick up a copy of this." She held out a CD. Peyton flipped the case over, Brooke leaned over her shoulder to see it, but realized it was music she wasn't in to and continued to drink her coffee.

"I love Killswitch."

"Me, too! Before..." She trailed off. "Before the problems with my mom, I wanted their CD and I didn't even know that they had a newer one out now."

"Did you want their CD, Alive or Just Breathing?" Jillian nodded. "Dude, I have all their other CDs, I could burn you a copy."

"That'd be great. Do you like Killswitch Engage, Brooke?"

"I prefer music where I can here the words and don't feel like my head is making contact with a cement wall, but I put up with Peyton's noise."

"Well, I'll leave you guys alone. I have to find a place to get some clothes."

"Jenny puke on most of your clothes? She plans it just right so she spits up as soon as you put on a clean shirt."

Jillian laughed, knowing this was true. "My mom said she would send my stuff, but that could be today, it could be four months from now. I don't have a lot of clothes with me, so I need something." She took a breath. "But I don't have a lot of money."

Brooke got an idea. "Why don't you come back to my house? I could loan you some clothes until you get your stuff."

"No, thanks but that's way too much."

"Come on, it'll be like a girls day. It'll be like Clueless and Peyton and me will be Cher and Dion and you'll be Tye." She took Jillian by the arm. "We could give Jenny a makeover, too."

"I think Jenny needs hair and the ability to dress herself before we give her a makeover, Brooke."

"Minor setback, Sawyer."


"Come out here already!" Brooke was becoming impatient when Jillian wouldn't return to the room to show the clothes.

"I look ridiculous, Brooke. Don't make me come out there."

"Did I not pick three great outfits for you before? Get your little ass out here."

Jillian emerged from the closet wearing a short white skirt, boots, and a black, long sleeve shirt. Brooke shined with pride on her pick of clothes to dress Jillian in, while Peyton nearly dropped Jenny from laughing so hard.

"That's not the look you want, is it Jilly?" She nodded a big no. Brooke looked disappointed.

"You could totally pull off that bad Catholic school girl look. You got to show a little skin though."

"I have to admit, I do like the shirt."

Brooke faced Peyton. "See? I can do something right." She walked over to Jillian and turned her around to look at the back of the shirt. "It's twisted back here. Let me fix it."

"No, its okay Brooke, I'll fix it."

"No, I got it hold still-"

Jillian was still protesting while Brooke partially lifted the shirt, exposing her back. She looked behind her to see Peyton. The expression on Brooke's face made Peyton concerned; she put Jenny down on the bed and came to stand next to Brooke. She could see what Brooke was looking at.

Jillian pulled away and turned around, laughing nervously.

"I don't think I like this shirt so much."

"Sweetie..." Brooke took a step towards her; Jillian took a step back. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing that will continue. I appreciate all that you're doing for me, but I think that what you picked out for me is enough already." She walked back into the closet, Peyton and Brooke getting another look at her back.

"Did you see the scars she has? Some look like she was beat with something, others..."

"They looked like burns." Peyton was in thought and looked back at Jenny, sucking on a teething ring. "What did your mother endure to be with you?" She whispered to Jenny.

"Whatever happened, it looks like was happening for a long time, Peyton. I take back every bad thing I've ever said about my parents." Brooke looked to see if she was coming back out before she finished talking. "Do you think that it was her mom or people at that place they sent her to?"

Peyton didn't know. "I always thought that having any mom is better than no mom." She sighed. "I think I don't feel so sorry for myself anymore."


Peyton was leaning her head on Jake's chest as they cuddled in her bed the next morning.

"When's your Dad coming home?"

"He called me yesterday to tell me that something happened unexpectedly but that he'll be home tomorrow."

"I guess this will be the last time I'll stay over for awhile."

"You could stay but I don't think my Dad would hesitate to throw you out in the woods and play target practice with you."

She turned to look at him straight in the face. Jake came towards her, wanting to kiss her, but she pulled away. He laughed and tried again. She pulled away again.

"What's wrong?" He said lightly. She didn't respond but kept looking at him, smiling just slightly. She leaned in and kissed him.

"This moment is just... perfect."

"I agree. But it we have to go; school's in an hour. I got to eat, take a shower." He took his shirt that was thrown on the nightstand and threw it on. He stood from the bed, looking on the floor for the jeans he had worn there the night before. "It's cold in here. I'll turn up the heat, don't get out of the bed."

He went into the hallway and played with the thermostat. Jake thought about what she said. Peyton was right. The moment was perfect. He walked back into her room and crawled under the covers with her.

"Where is my shirt?" She giggled as he reached on the floor and produced her CBGB tank top. "Thanks. Jake I need to ask you something. Don't get mad."

"What is it?" He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to her.

"Brooke and I were giving some clothes to Jillian and I saw some pretty bad scars on her back. I was just curious. What happened to her? When you said that her mom was a bad person..."

"Her mom used to hit her if she did something she thought was wrong. I saw her hit Jill with a Bible, a belt..." He sounded like he was falling back asleep.

"It was pretty bad, Jake. Looks like someone did more than hit her with a Bible."

He sat up. "You guys are becoming friends aren't you?" She nodded. "I'm glad you guys can get along. The girl I love, the mother of my daughter. Not a weird situation."

They both laughed, though Jake's wasn't because he thought it was funny. He was laughing because Peyton was. He was actually quite uneasy by the situation.