Elfbrat18: Well, here's the first chapter.

Whistler: Yeah, if you get confused as to who's who, check back at what we first posted. But we will use their names in place of the characters, unless a nickname comes along. Anyway, I think I just confused you more so just read it. It'll make more sense instead of me explaining it.

Elfbrat18: And doing a horrible job. Anyway, read and review!

The Beer Bust

The scene opens with the sounds of an engine being started up, accompanied by the movement of mechanical parts as a Rig begins to move down the road.


You heard 'bout the legend of Jesse James

And John Henry just to mention some names

But there's a truck-drivin' legend in the South today

A man called Bandit from Atlanta, GA

Every gearjammer knows his name

They swear he got asphalt a-runnin' in his veins

A foot like lead and nerves like steel

He's gonna go to glory ridin' 18 wheels

Oh boy

He left Atlanta back in '63

Haulin' him a load up to Tennessee

He hit Mount Eagle in a drivin' rain

So hard he couldn't even see the passin' lane

Well he started down the grade when he lost a gear

He hit them brakes

Found he had no air

The Mount Eagle grade is steep and long

And everybody that seen it thought the Bandit was gone

All gone

Well his truck jackknifed

Turned completely around

He was comin' down backwards 'bout the speed of sound

A lot of folks seen him and they all say

He had his head out the window yellin' "Clear the way"

Well he got to the bottom safe and sound

Everybody asked Bandit how he made it down

He said, "Folks when the truck picked up too much speed

I just run along beside it and drug my feet"

Ya heard the legend of Jesse James

And John Henry just to mention some names

But there's a truck-drivin' legend in the South today

A man called Bandit from Atlanta, GA

Every gearjammer knows his name

They swear he got asphalt a-runnin' in his veins

A foot like lead and nerves like steel

He's gonna go to glory ridin' 18 wheels

Ah, tell me, boy

Talk to me guitar


The scene of the Rig traveling down numerous streets fades out to a man in a tacky bluish and white shirt and tan pants paying a guy as a vehicle approaches.


Three or four guys come out, the driver an officer. "Hey Kirk, how ya doin'?"

"Tod Engles. How are ya?"

An old guy with a tan jacket on walks up to the truck driver. "This your rig, son?"

"Yeah." He replies, glancing at it.

"Open it up. Let's see the manifest." the other guy demands.

He opens the back doors to reveal cases of beer stacked to the ceiling of the trailer. Kirk just sighs and looks at the ground, accepting defeat.

"Well," the guy says, taking the pipe out of him mouth, "placin' you under arrest for transportin' alcoholic beverages across state lines without the proper permits."

Kirk just sighs and fiddles with his hands. "And that means, you dumb cowboy..." Kirk glances up. "...you know truckin' Coors beer east of Texas is bootleggin'.This here's Georgia son." He finishes, placing the pipe back in his mouth.

Kirk, trying to reason with the man, said, "Well, I Just a friendly bet.These, uh, two old boys, they put me up to it."

"Now when ya gonna learn? Big and Little Enos Burdette make that same bet with every gearjammer they can."


Scene changes again to a shot of the back of a red convertible, the Texas plate reading MR. BIG, and the backs of two identically dressed men in blue suits and white cowboy hats, driving by swarms of people at what appears to be a rodeo for truckdrivers.

"I say he ain't gonna go for your game." One says.

"Son, from what I've heard, the biggest thing about the Bandit is his ego, and I figure that, plus a lot of my dollars, and he'll try anything, legal or not."

As the motors rev from the cabs of rigs, the announcer comes onto the P.A. as the flag is waved.

"Well sir, now, they put on quite a show for us today, haven't they, friends? Yes sir, you have seen some of the finest gearjammin' in all of this country. 'Member, these are the boys that take the long hauls. They really did it today..."

By this time the two schemers have exited their vehicle, and are looking for the Bandit. The appearance is quite a site. The son is about two feet shorter than the other. He walkedup to a few people.

"Hoss?"

"Hm?"

"Uh, where might I find the Bandit?"

"I ain't seen him." the guy replied.

"Over there behind his rig." The girl said.

"Who want's to see him?" A guy adds in, coming up behind the short one.

"Who's askin?" The taller replies.

"I'm askin'." The guy says. "cause I'm the guy payin' him 25 a day so all his loyal fans can look at him."

"Do it." The bigger one tells the smaller one. The smaller pulled out a large wad of money. "I'm buyin' your attraction for a half an hour." he says.

As they walked along side the rig, looking at the Old Western scene of a bandit dressed in black robbing a horse-drawn carriage, the smaller of the two blurted out, "Egotistical son of a bitch."

"Any guy that would paint his truck like this would go to a minister's funeral dressed in feathers."

Elfbrat18: I know it cuts off rather odd like that, but that's how we're doing the chapters, by the way they play out on the dvd.

Whistler: God bless the people who come up with subtitles...