Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize from the show is mine… everything else… I wish!

Note: Maybe the whole music thing is getting old, but I was listening to a mix and this song is so perfect I couldn't just NOT put it in. Its actually about 6 minutes long but its good about half way through... download it!

Did anyone notice that the chapters are getting longer and longer? Is it annoying?

New Kid- Finch

I'm on my way back home
I've lost my way, I've gone astray
I'm on my way back home
They'll let me in from the cold
'Cause I'm the new kid
Like everybody
'Cause everybody lives again
I'm in my new skin
Safe and knowing that one day we will meet again
Sheltered here in my wings
And I will not forget you're everything
'Cause in your heart is where I live
And that's alright you are alright


So I Will Just Let Go

"Pass the milk?" Jillian passed the half-gallon jug over to Jake who settled across the table with a bowl of Cheerios. Jillian, already finished with her breakfast, was trying to feed Jenny her cereal, but she wasn't willing to cooperate.

"I'll take over for you." Alice switched seats with Jillian. "You need to finish getting ready for school." She looked at her son. "You woke up late."

He couldn't sleep because he wasn't used to Jenny not being in the room with him, listening even in his sleep to hear if she stirs.

"Oh shit, I forgot my paper in my room." He started to run up the stairs.

"Watch your language around Jenny! And Jake, watch out for the toys at the top-" She heard a thud from the top of the stairs. "Well, never mind now."

Jake ran back down the stairs with his jacket and paper in hand. "Jillian!" She was still upstairs in her room while Jake was looking around for his backpack. "Where are my keys?" Jillian came downstairs. She looked over at Alice, who was smiling.

"Does he do this every morning?"

Alice nodded, getting back to feeding Jenny. "Have a good day, you two."

"More nightmares?" They were sitting at a red light. Jillian nodded. "Do you want to talk about them?"

"Not really. I just want to forget about them." He nodded because he understood. For a long time after she left, he replayed bad times they had during their relationship. All the dreams did was make him feel guilty. Until he met Peyton.

"Remember this: 15, 5, and 28." Jake accelerated the car. Jillian looked puzzled. "It's my locker combination. Did they give you a tour the other day?" Jillian nodded. "My locker is downstairs, across from room 115, locker number 226."

"Thanks, Jake."

"No problem." He pulled into the school and parked in his usual space. He got out of the car, opened the backdoor on his side and retrieved his bag. "Where's my paper?" Jillian reached back into the car and handed Jake his paper. "Thanks. I knew that you'd be useful to keep around."

"You know how to make a girl feel special." She saw Peyton walking towards the car.

"I forgot to tell you," Jake whispered to her as they both walked towards Peyton. "Brooke's clothes look good on you." She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater and a faded pair of jeans. She smiled at him, though he didn't see it. Jake had his arms wrapped around Peyton.

"Let me see your schedule." Jillian forfeited her schedule to the eager hands of Peyton. "Wow, AP Calc and AP English. Look, we have second together." She high-fived Jillian. "I'll see you then, Jill." Peyton pushed on Jake and kissed him lightly on the cheek. It was Jillian's sign to walk away and get to class.


The day was alright. She was not treated any differently than she expected; she managed to blend in like wallpaper. Jillian liked it that way. She got to lunch early so she found a table outside, turned up her CD player, and started on her new book for English: The Death of a Salesman.

"Over-achiever." Jillian looked up to meet eyes with Lucas. She couldn't help but smile at him as he sat down across from her. "What are you listening to?" He was looking down at her CD player.

"It's called, New Kid. It's by Finch." She lifted the earpieces from around her neck and passed them onto Lucas. "Have a listen."

"Wow, that sounds awesome. I'll have to borrow it sometime to make a copy. It should be your anthem, Miss new girl." She rolled her eyes. "Don't like being the new girl?"

"Yeah, I love being a nobody." She laughed at herself, but Lucas didn't.

"You are definitely somebody." He smiled at her. She didn't even notice Jake and Peyton walk to their usual table, seeing Jillian and Luke talking.

"They look cozy." Peyton said as she sat down and took out her sketch book. "Jillian's got the game you keep claiming you have." She laughed along with Jake, but he couldn't take his eyes off the other table.

"Oh, by the way, I finished the book last period."

"When you're in class, aren't you supposed to, I don't know, pay attention?"

"Babylon is more important. You could have embellished more about the book. It's one of the better books I've read this year."

"I couldn't stop myself when I was reading it. I ended up reading it in one day and then the next day I read it again for fun."

"I would have been done a lot quicker but I had to put it on the back burner. I had to help my Uncle at the auto shop."

Jake watched them from across the courtyard, laughing and smiling at each other. Why was he getting pissed off at Luke? They were friends. He didn't think it was jealously. Maybe he was just worried about Jill.

"That's nice of you to do that. How is Keith?"

"I told him and my mom that I ran into you and they both say hi."

"I'll have to say hi to your mom next time I'm in the Cafe."

"Maybe do you want to come by tonight? I don't have to work so maybe we could talk more." She smiled. She wasn't new to relationships but she was new to the whole asking out thing. What he asking her out on a date?

"I get off work tonight at six."

"Perfect. I'll pick you up." He laughed and so did Jillian until she remembered that she was taking Jenny into work with her because Jake had basketball practice.

"Wait, I don't know if I can."

She looked over and saw Jake looking in her direction, but turning away quickly once he saw her looking. She looked back at Lucas. He seemed disappointed.

"So, you're busy tonight?" She started to say something many times, but nothing sounded good to her in her head. She gathered her stuff and stood.

"I have to take my daughter into work with me and I... I'll see you later, Lucas." As she was walking away, Jillian looked over at Jake; he was watching though she was pretty sure he couldn't hear what was said. She continued walking away.

Jake looked over at Lucas. He just sat there for a moment and then got up and grabbed his bag off the floor. Lucas stood and found Jake's eyes on him. He waved to Jake who returned the gesture, and that's when it dawned on him. He briskly walked towards the building.

"It all makes sense now." Jillian was standing in Jake's open locker, cleaning out all the old papers and organizing their books.

"What does?" Her voice was shaky because she was nervous now around him.

"Jake's locker?" She stopped what she was doing and looked at Luke. "You're Jenny's mom." She nodded. "He never told me because he knew that I knew you."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. I kind of was forced away from home, but I kind of ran away. I'm here for good though."

"That's good." He closed the locker door so she couldn't hide behind it anymore. "Bring her along tonight. No big deal, now that you told me."

"You pretty much figured it out for yourself. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just..."

"I understand and it's no problem. But I like you, Jillian. I always have, actually. Bring her along, unless Jake would mind."

"He wouldn't." She fiddled with her bag. "What time did you say?"

He slowly smiled at her. "Six."

"Six is prefect." He walked away, turning to look back at her as he opened the door to go back outside. Maybe it was okay that she didn't blend in with everyone else. At least Lucas noticed her.


That night was great. Lucas got a corner booth saved during the dinner rush. Jillian talked to his mom for a few minutes while she served them grilled cheese. Lucas planned it so because when they were kids, whenever Jillian would play with Lucas at his house, his mother always made them grilled cheese for a snack. Jillian thought it was very cute and thoughtful to remember something small and trivial as that.

They talked about the past, the present, books, anything that they could talk about. At nearly nine o'clock, Lucas pulled his mom's car around the front of the cafe and helped to strap Jenny into the back.

"I had a great time." Jillian said to Lucas, as he handed over Jenny at her front door. Jillian smiled staring up into Lucas's blue eyes. He was such a great guy.

"Me, too. We'll have to do this again." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek.

"Definitely. See you in school tomorrow, Luke."

"I expect Salesman to be done by lunch." She laughed and went inside.

Jake was sitting in his room with the door wide open, watching for Jillian to come up. He had finished practice and worked on homework with Peyton. She ended up leaving before dinner, but Jake wasn't expecting Jillian to not be there. He questioned his mom about it and she said that Jillian told her that she would be home later that evening.

He was pissed. What was she thinking? Jenny needed to be home at dinner to be fed. Jake heard her on the stairs. He saw her go into her room, put down her stuff, and bring Jenny across the hall into his room. He pretended to be reading from his Algebra book when she entered and put Jenny down on the bed.

"Did you feed her?" He made it sound cold and accusing.

"Yeah, I brought some formula with me in a bag and Karen boiled some water for me. Don't worry, she even fell asleep." She put down the diaper bag on his floor. "I was hoping she could stay with you for a little while so I could start on some homework."

"Well, I'm pretty busy myself. You should have come home from work and started on your homework instead of hanging around at the Cafe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just mean that maybe you should prioritize a little."

"Lucas wanted to talk more about books. I haven't had anyone to talk to about books in a long time. It felt nice."

"Yeah, I'm sure it felt nice." His sarcastic tone made her angry. Why was he so nice this morning and such an ass right now?

"I don't know what your problem is, but that is not what is going on between Lucas and me. If I didn't know any better, I would say that you were jealous."

"Why would I be jealous of him hooking up with a wreck like you?"

He closed his book as he stood, throwing it on the bed and waking Jenny up. Jillian couldn't believe what she just heard him say. He looked down at Jenny and Jillian could tell that he couldn't believe what he was saying either.

"I'm so sorry, Jilly, I didn't mean any of it. I..."

"I know, Jake. It's okay. I'm going to bed."

She left his room and went to her own. He picked up the crying baby and went across the hall. Her door was closed but that didn't stop him. He burst in through the door, Jenny crying, to see Jillian pulling down her pajama top, her back facing him. He saw all the scars and couldn't grasp what exactly he saw.

"Get out of here!" She turned around.

Jake could tell that she felt ashamed; she always did after her mother beat her. Jake put Jenny in the bassinet that was sitting on the bed. He sat down next to it, trying to calm Jenny down. He held open his free arm and Jillian walked towards him, taking up his offer of a shoulder to cry on.

"Tell me what happened." Jake felt so bad for all the things he said and he hoped this would make up for it. Because Peyton and Jill were the only two girls he ever really dated, he wasn't sure if this was a best friend sort of thing to do or if it was more like a boyfriend thing. He didn't care. He never liked seeing her cry like this. It broke his heart.