"I'm a doctor," said a bearded Hungarian man in Row 3.

"An American boy has been badly burned," the flight attendant told him. "A little girl doused him with a pot of boiling coffee. He needs your services."

The doctor jumped to his feet, showing off his white smock and stethoscope, and grinned at the other passengers. "Hi, everybody!" he called out.

Further back in the cabin, Lisa responded to the commotion with anxiety. "I'd better make sure nothing happened to Bart," she said, unlatching her seat belt.

"You're staying right here," Marge ordered, but Lisa was already dashing down the aisle.

Upon arriving in the first-class section, she was confronted with a wall of human backs, belonging to several attendants and a man with unruly black hair. "What's going on?" she asked loudly.

The black-haired man turned and smiled at her. "Hello, little girl," he said with a thick accent.

Lisa was startled to recognize him. "Dr. Nick? What are you doing in China?"

"Studying acupuncture," the doctor replied.

"Is someone hurt?" Lisa begged to know. "Is it a little girl? Or a little boy?"

"You can help by getting out of the way," a stern-faced female attendant told her.

Through the crack between Dr. Nick's legs, Lisa spied her brother prostrate on the floor, wincing and moaning. His skin was bright red, and his clothes were stained by a brown fluid. Coffee, thought Lisa, recognizing the smell. Bart, you idiot! Her knowledge of basic first aid suggested that the boy had second-degree burns over much of his body.

"Here's the pail of water you asked for, doctor," she heard a man's voice say.

Lisa panicked. No! If he changes while in that condition, it could kill him!

Shoving her way between Dr. Nick and the stewardess, she bounded over Bart's singed body just in time to intercept a blast of cold water that was intended for him.

Dr. Nick, the attendant with the pail, and the rest of the flight staff blinked in wonder at what they were seeing. Lisa felt her soggy dress and underpants tightening again, but her only concern was her brother's safety. She turned around, and to her relief, Bart was only slightly moistened, and still male.

"That was unexpected," remarked the stupefied Dr. Nick.

"No cold water!" demanded Lisa-kun, clenching his fists.

"I was only trying to bring down his temperature," said the doctor.

"You don't want to bring it down too quickly," said Lisa-kun knowledgeably. "You could send him into shock."

While he argued with Dr. Nick, two of the female attendants commented on what they had witnessed. "I could swear I saw her turn into a boy," said one.

"It's the chemicals Americans put in their food," the other responded.

A male attendant brought a first-aid kit in a clear plastic box, and handed it to Dr. Nick. "Stand aside, everybody," said the doctor as he pulled out a tube of burn cream. "I am going to take off his clothes and cover his body with...what the devil?"

Lisa-kun looked down and gasped in terror. He hadn't considered the possibility that the water dripping profusely from his skirt might land on Bart and trigger a change.

"It's the little girl again," said the attendant who had prepared the coffee. "And she's burned as well. We've got two burn victims."

Praying silently to Buddha that Bart-chan had survived the transformation, Lisa-kun knelt and laid his hands on the black-haired girl's exposed arm. She screamed in pain. Well, he's alive, thought Lisa-kun gratefully.


"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot," crackled a man's voice over the plane's audio system. "Due to a medical emergency, we will be making a stopover in Vladivostok, Russia."

"Did you hear that?" said Homer with delight. "The Simpsons are going to Russia!"

"Cool your jets, Homer," said Marge, elbowing him. "We'll only be there long enough for Bart to be treated at the hospital."

"Is that long enough to mock the customs of the locals, trash a historic site, and get arrested?" Homer asked her.

"Maybe, if we don't stop to take pictures."

Outside of the cockpit entrance, Bart-chan was laid out on a mattress, her face and most of her upper body covered in bandages. The only article of clothing she wore was a pair of bright yellow underpants donated by a generous mother of two. Lisa sat on the floor close to her, affectionately massaging her uninjured right hand.

"It hurts," the little Chinese girl groaned.

"I know, Bart, I know," said Lisa calmingly.

Bart-chan peered at her through the gauze strips wrapped around her face. "Where'd you find hot water?" she asked weakly.

"I asked one of the attendants."

Bart-chan fell silent, except for an occasional quiet moan.

"I'm really sorry for what I did," Lisa told her. "It was mean. I know that turning into a girl is scary for you, just like turning into a boy is for me. I should have expected that you'd do something desperate to change back."

"I did it so I wouldn't have to pee," said Bart-chan.

"Do you still need to pee?" asked Lisa with concern.

"Well...uh...you know that pail they used to throw water on you?"

"Ewww," Lisa grimaced.

Bart-chan sighed despondently. "Now I'm stuck as a little girl until these bandages come off. How many years will that be, I wonder?"

"Less than one, I imagine," said Lisa.

"It can't come soon enough for me," Bart-chan rasped. "I want to get rid of this stupid curse and go back to being a full-time boy."

"So do I," said Lisa.

She gently laid down Bart-chan's hand, and thought deeply for a moment.

"On the other hand," she went on, "because of this Chinese curse, we have something no one else has ever had - a choice. I like being a girl, but what's to stop me from spending a week or two as a boy, just to see if I like it as much?"

"Being a girl sucks," said Bart-chan. "I know that from experience now."

"What experience?" said Lisa incredulously. "All you've done so far is burn yourself with a pot of coffee. Give it a chance."

"No way, man." Bart-chan's retort sounded humorous to Lisa due to her squeaky voice. "Girls are inferior to boys. It's a fact of life."

"That may be what you grew up believing," said Lisa earnestly, "but it's not true. A girl can do anything a boy can do. A woman can do anything a man can do, and have babies to boot. Once everyone realizes that, we'll have true equality."

The plane began its descent into Vladivostok as the two girls pondered their situation.

"And another thing," said Bart-chan. "What if I get scars all over me from the burns? What if I become like that dude from The Phantom of the Opera...what's his name..."

"Er, the Phantom of the Opera?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. What if the same thing happens to me? What if all the girls call me Mr. Scarface, and I go crazy, and live underground, and play creepy organ music, and everyone's afraid of me?"

"Then I'll be your angel of music," said Lisa reassuringly.

"Or even worse," Bart-chan continued, her voice growing weaker, "what if I have to stay a girl, and all the boys call me Miss Scarface, and I go crazy, and hole up in a house with a bunch of cats, and die without ever having known true love?"

Lisa lowered her eyes and sighed. "I can't help you with that one, Bart."


to be continued