Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize from the show is mine… everything else… I wish!
Notes: This is going to be the final chapter! For everyone that is mad at me for the Peyton/Jake break up... I'm so sorry to disappoint you but I hope this chapter makes up for it!
Thank you to all who have reviewed! keep it coming.
Also, I have a few ideas for a sequel… what does everyone think about continuing the saga? Maybe either continuing from here or going back to the creation of Jenny?
And I wouldn't Change a Thing
He cradled her face in his hands while he opened his eyes and released from their kiss. A smile drifted to his face.
This is real, he thought.
Jillian had that same feeling she had when they were much younger and they were becoming more of a couple than best friends. She was nervous in his arms. He pulled away to look at her but he still held her face while he smiled at her. She remembered that this was exactly the same as that night at the fair with Lucas.
But this is real, she thought.
Jake moved back to kissing her in the darkness in front of the door. Jillian, getting more comfortable with Jake, started moving more into the kiss; that is until a thought occurred to her.
"What about Peyton?" Though she already knew they were no longer together, she still wanted to hear it from Jake.
He looked away. "She wanted to take a break. She said that she realized that I still have feelings for you and if me and her are going to be together, I need to figure it out."
"What have you figured out?"
His gaze moved back to her. "That I'm not over you. That I've been waiting those six months for you, whether or not I was with Peyton and I still love you." He took his key and placed it into the lock. He was waiting for her to say something to him. "Maybe we should talk about this. Let's go inside."
"I'm going to stay out here for a few minutes. I have some things to think about."
"Is something wrong?"
Jake looked concerned at her, like he was worried he did something wrong. On the spur of the moment, she moved towards him and kissed him, pushing him inside the house and laughing lightly. He closed the door and turned on the light on the porch.
All she could do was grunt in aggravation. The whole time she'd been back in town, she wanted this night to happen, and now she was in doubt. So many things had happened between Jake and Jillian, many years that were happy but also filled with times of lying and pain. Was she worried about getting hurt again? Maybe she was just worried that she would be the one to hurt Jake this time.
This time. That was when some of the things that happened a long time ago popped into her head. This was going to be another one of those sleepless nights.
Jake, still in his tie and shoes, stirred in his sleep, realizing that he had fallen asleep. He turned over and took his alarm clock off the nightstand to see the time. The clock read two-thirty.
"Shit."
He whispered since Jenny was sleeping in her crib a few feet away. He slowly stood up and closed the door behind him so the light wouldn't bother Jenny. He knocked lightly on Jillian's door but nobody answered. He knew that after the last time he couldn't barge into her room, but instead of knocking again, he opened her door to find an empty bed.
After looking around downstairs, Jake went out to see if she took his car and went for a drive, but instead found her sitting on the porch swing, deep in thought. She hadn't noticed that he was there until he sat down next to her.
"When you said you needed a minute, I didn't actually think you were going to sit out here for almost three hours."
She had a blanket, shielding herself from the cold. She pulled it back to reveal her pajamas.
"I was inside for a little while but I couldn't get to sleep. I wanted to come out here to think."
"What are you thinking about?" Jake was about to reach over to her, put his arm around her, but he could sense that she wanted a little space at the moment. He moved off the swing and sat down on the railing directly across from Jillian's seat.
"I'm thinking about the past. Just some stuff I forgot about." She looked so serious, it scared Jake. "I was thinking mostly about us."
"I'm not sure if that's good or bad, judging by your expression."
"I know a lot more than you think I do."
He wasn't sure what she was trying to say. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."
"I never really blamed you; after all, you are a guy. I loved you so much for so long, I kind of figured that I could just accept it and forget it. Turns out I did because when you were kissing me, it just popped into my head. I don't know if it happened that way because I'm supposed to protect myself or what."
"You have to tell me first what it is so that we can talk about it." She grew quiet. "Tell me, Jillian." She didn't say anything, just sat really still. "I just told you tonight that I loved you.. still after all this time loved you, and you can't say anything to me?"
He was getting angry, but also, he was afraid that whatever she was talking about was going to keep them apart. He was hoping that he could make her see how much he really did care for her and that she didn't already make up her mind and want to just be friends. He realized that he couldn't be just friends with her ever again.
"You remember that night, after your birthday."
Jake hated to think about those times when he was a complete ass. Jillian always blamed the basketball team and that is why she asked him that night if he ever wanted to be like them. She already knew that answer; yes. Before Jillian got pregnant, Jake would have done anything to be like the other guys on the team, and that included putting pressure on Jillian.
"That wasn't one of my more prouder moments." He rubbed his hands together. "I apologized for weeks for that."
"I know and that was sweet. But when you called me all those names just because I wouldn't have sex with you... you hurt my feelings. I never told you this, but I thought about it a lot. I thought about how much I loved you, and I knew you felt the same. I didn't want anything to jeopardize our relationship."
"I was wrong to make you think that you had to." It was then that he understood why she was say this to him; he realized what she knew. He became very scared.
"Yeah, well that's the past. I don't really regret it now that we have Jenny, but that was the night that I got pregnant." She pulled the blanket closer. "And to imagine, I found out only a week later that you were sleeping with random girls at parties."
"Jilly, I didn't-" His chest was feeling heavy again.
"No, stop. James told me that he saw you, drunk off your ass, and bragging about sleeping with some girl. He told me but it didn't change anything between us because I loved you so much, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. But then I found out I was pregnant and I told you-"
"And I told you that I would always be there for you. That and I loved you more than I could ever tell you."
"It didn't stop me from thinking that the only reason we were together was because we were having sex and then because I was pregnant. I thought maybe you felt you were stuck with me."
He rushed over and curled up next to her, kissing her and holding her in his arms.
"I never thought that. I've always loved you, you know that. I did those things because I wanted to be someone I wasn't. You and me; that is real. I've never looked back and thought that I would do things any differently, except sleeping with that girl. All I've ever wanted was you."
"We've been through so much. And looking back at that moment, I thought of all the other things I could have done when I found out about that girl. I could have left, runaway, break up with you, I could have gotten an abortion or give Jenny up for adoption. But I didn't because I loved you. I figure if I could get through a hard time like that, we could get through this."
"You always said life was a series of tests. Jenny was a test, my glory days of wanting to fit in, that was a test. And so is this."
"You always said that we were soul mates; that it was Fate that we end up together." He kissed her. "You said that things were falling into place. Do you think that's what is happening now?"
Jake nodded. "I love you."
"I love you, Jake." She placed her cheek on his. "I always will."
He felt now was his turn for a reveal. "I have something I need to confess, too." She moved away to look at him. "This wasn't all a big revelation I had one night and I don't want you to think that I knew this whole time that I did love you; I just didn't realize until the other night. I had a little help."
"I'm confused. What are you talking about?"
"One day, when you weren't home, I went into your room and found something. I found a notebook I gave you. I read it, Jilly, and everything you said in there... it made me feel different about my life. I know it wasn't your fault you left me, but in my head, it was easier to blame you to keep my distance. But after I read all those things you said, I understood how I felt. I never want you to leave me again."
She moved closer, letting Jake into her blanket to keep warm. They both sat there outside on the swing, waiting for the sunrise.
"Howdy, stranger." Peyton was putting her books away when Jillian, out of nowhere, snuck up behind her, scaring her.
"I guess I need to put a bell on you." Both girls laughed.
"Notice anything different?" Jillian stood back, posing.
"Hey! Your mom sent your clothes."
"She sent everything; it was still in the boxes from before. That and a note that said she was going to sell my dresser and bed."
"Sounds like you're here for good." Peyton put a reassuring arm around Jillian's shoulder.
"Yeah… that sounds good." Jillian couldn't help but smile.
"You seem cheery today."
"Life is good. I got my clothes back and all my beautiful CDs. Oh, how I missed them. What do you say to going out to lunch and skipping the rest of the day to go see a movie?" Peyton started to shrug. "Come on, I don't have to worry about getting home to Jenny."
"I don't know, Jill. It sounds like fun, but-"
"Hey guys." Lucas was walking with Haley, but stopped to talk to Jillian and Peyton while Haley continued down the hall. Both girls gestured towards Haley, who smiled back.
"Hey, Luke. Can you help me convince Miss Sawyer here to skip out of class to catch a movie with me?"
Peyton looked down at the ground, a smile on her face. "I'm not doing any of the such, Miss Summers. Mitchell's class would be too boring without her company." He smiled at Peyton when she finally stopped looking down at the ground. "I'll see you guys later. Bye, Peyt." He walked away, moving toward his locker while Peyton and Jillian walked the other direction.
"I'm not sure to categorize you as Dopey or Bashful. Maybe a combination of the two?"
"What the hell are you talking about now Beanie Weenie?"
"Did Jake tell you about that?" Peyton nodded and laughed at the same time. "It's ass kicking time."
"First tell me what you are talking about."
"You are all smiles when someone talks about Lucas, you get real quiet when you're around him. For you, quiet is a sign." She playfully pushed Jillian.
"What's your point?"
"I'm sensing history." That comment made Peyton's smile die down. "Oh, it's good to be right! What happened?"
"Let's just say that we have never been in the same place at the same time to have a relationship." She looked back at him. "Not that the feelings haven't been there."
"Well, it looks like to me you both are in the same hallway at the same time."
"Point?"
"Carpe Diem, Sawyer. What have you got to lose?"
"All my dignity."
"Don't worry about that. He talks about you a lot. A lot. He wants the same thing you do." They reached the doors that led out into the courtyard. Jillian blocked Peyton's exit. "Go say something to him, damn it!" Peyton was deep in thought, looking at Jillian. She nodded.
"Hey, Luke!" Peyton ran back to Luke's locker just as Jake was coming into the building.
"What's going on, Jill?"
"Nothing, just observing." Peyton and Luke were laughing together, looking very happy.
"Don't tell me you did that." Jillian beamed with pride. "Do you remember a time when we were like that?"
"Yeah, but I don't think that matters anymore."
"What do you mean?"
"You are the father of my child, you have known me my whole life, you don't judge me, you love me for who I am, and your parents adopted me. I wouldn't trade what we got for a budding romance any day." Jake put his arm around her. "But they do look good together."
"You know, I never really thought about it, but aren't you kind of like my sister now?"
"It might get a little messy explaining to people if you keep referring to me as such." Jake opened the door for Jillian, having one last look back at Lucas and Peyton.
"Let's go get lunch and hang out with Jenny for the day. Let's take her to the park to feed the ducks."
"That sounds... perfect." Nothing could sweep away the smile Jillian had on her face.
