Countdown to the end, boys and girls. Soon, after just a few more chapters I will be free. FREE! I hope to have the lion's share done before the Easter Weekend because I won't have access to my net connection for a while after that. Which might disappoint you, but will definatley keep me sane. Anyway it's jiggy time children, so pull up those flairs, spin some discs, and get ready to party. Or you could just read the fic. Whatever works for you.

For disclaimer see first chapter. It occurs to me that I spend just about as much time typing 'For disclaimer see first chapter' as I do typing 'I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion' therefore making me typing 'For disclaimer see first chapter', a total waste of time. And now I've written it three times, and I stress this, for no good reason.

(Weeps twin-waterfalls)

Incidentally I have been informed that the scenes at Nerv seem to be more Omake-ish scenes in a serious story. While the scenes at Nerv are primarily intended for comic relief I was aiming for them to be short breaks in an otherwise serious plotline, which are still part of the plot, even if they're not immediatly relevant. I believe that a story well told should be able to make a reader laugh, cry and provoke thought within the same chapter. Doesn't mean it has to, just that it should have the ability to do so should it chose to do so. This is just my opinion and I will be the first to admit that it won't hold true for all cases. In any case this is what I am aiming for, even if I fall short. At the very least I'm glad to know that you find the scenes funny, cause thats what I was hoping for. Now where was I? Ah yes...

(Weeps twin-waterfalls)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The shrill cry of his alarm startled Shinji out of his doze. Sluggishly he slapped the offending device off the table on which it sat and gave a soft grunt of victory as it was silenced on hitting the floor. Muttering incoherantly the tired boy snuggled deeper into his bed and tried despirately to get some more sleep. He had only managed to doze off a couple of hours ago and since it was a Sunday he had no intention of getting up earlier than he had too. Nerv tests weren't scheduled for hours yet so in the meantime he intended to get re-aquainted with the Sandman.

He had listened to Asuka cry for what seemed like hours before she had exhausted herself and dropped into an uneasy sleep. Shinji had not been as lucky. Normally he had no problems falling asleep after a nightmare, he had gotten so used to them, but last night sleep just wouldn't come. At the back of his mind he kept feeling her. Kept musing how, in essence they were only feet apart, only a very thin wall between the two of them. Every sob had twisted his gut, made him feel weak and naseous as it echoed dully through the wall of Asuka's room. He had been writhing in his bed trying despirately to block out the sounds, trying to flee them. But he couldn't. He could only wait until they ended. A yawn pryed his jaws open. Suddenly uncomfortable in his position he shifted. Then shifted again. And once more. Shinji sighed and opened his eyes, sitting up in a bed that was now a tangle of sheets and legs, one snaking in and out of the other. Recognising that he wasn't going to get any sleep anymore, he swung his legs out of his bed and stumpled towards the door. He still felt exhausted but he knew he would never fall asleep again. He only hoped a warm shower would take the edge off his tiredness. Doing a credable impression of the undead he shambled towards the bathroom, feeling his shoulder bounce off the wall of the corridor and jolt him to the side. Ignoring his collision he graclessly collapsed against the door, leaning his forehead against the cool wood, debating about just trying to fall asleep here stood propped against the bathroom door. Eventually he decided this was not a brilliant idea and slid the entrance open. Stripping off his clothes he stepped under the showerhead and closed his eyes waiting for the warm deluge to gently wake him...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The scream echoed for blocks, disturbing flocks of birds who took wing in fear, leaping into the dawn stained sky with an explosion of sound. Harsh fluttering and shrill cries of confusion escaped as the white, grey and teal streaked pigeons were startled, made mocking ehoes of a young man's shocked anguish. The shower was damn freezing.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Frozen in more ways than one under the now silent showerhead Shinji Ikari frantically felt around for his two best friends, seriously afraid that they had withdrawn into his abdomen in panic under the arctic onslaught and that he'd have to go through puberty again to get them to 're-drop'. Sighing in contentment as he located his two pals, he glared at the shower. If he squinted it looked like it was smirking at him. Trying to ignore the occaisonal cold drop of water streaking down his back from his sodden hair, he gingerly stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. Frantically trying to rub some warmth into his blue tinged limbs Shinji admitted that at the very least he was awake now. Hurrying back to his room to change into some clothes Shinji glanced at the alarm clock, craning his neck to read the time from it's new position, upside down on the floor. 7:43. Well, the chances of anyone else in the house being awake were virtually nil, unless his escapade with the shower had woken them up. Misato would already have gone to work, seeing as today marked the first day of her early shift cycle. That meant she'd be seperated from the rest of her usual shift group, but she'd be reunited with Hyugga, who still had another week of early shifts to do as a result of his ill-fated bet with Shigeru. With Misato gone it was more than likely that the other two occupants of his tiny home where still asleep. Asuka can't have gotten that much sleep yet so he didn't expect to see her for a few hours yet and the penguin had probably drunk himself into a coma so Shinji had no idea when Pen-Pen would make an appearance.

Wandering back out of his room, ignoring the broken shell of an SDAT player in the corner, Shinji headed towards the kitchen. He was hungry and he decided to make something Asuka would particularly enjoy for breakfast. It was the closest he could come to comforting the girl and it also served as something of an apology of sorts, even if the blue eyed boy wasn't sure exactly what he was apologising for. As he pulled out the neccesary implements for his culinary creations, he mused on the instances when he'd made meals he knew his roomates would enjoy to apologise to them. He grunted quietly. Misato was easy enough to please. As long as it could melt an Eva's armour it was fine dining to her. Asuka on the other hand forced him to branch out his cooking style. Actually cooking the food was no problem but finding the ingrediants were another matter. It had taken him months of searching until he had found a small foreign foods mart in a back street on the far side of the city. He had no idea why it was in Tokyo-3, but the owner told him it was part of a large chain of stores very popular in Europe, so he just counted his blessings and bought as much bratwurst as he could carry. As he sliced the onions and blinked the small tears out of his eyes he frowned slightly, remembering the week when Asuka had done nothing but argue with him. Every morning he had resigned himself to making a European breakfast. Now that he thought back on it he recalled that towards the end of the week the girl had argued with him about more and more ridiculous things, leading him to believe she had noticed his habit of apologising with food and had set him up. Shifting the diced onions into the fryin pan with a hiss and minute gysers of cooking oil, he rolled his eyes half heartedly. It would be something she would do. Dragging his attention away from the frying pan he made his way to the fridge and sweatdropped at the plethora of beer and instant Ramen. Carefully deconstructing the aluminium wall in front of him, Shinji stretched a hand through the breach and rummaged around, his elbow disappearing into the fridge as he searched. Detecting the items he wanted by feel alone he gently withdrew them before slotting the cans back into place as they were before. Adding the thick sausages to the frying onions and pouring milk into a pan to prepare scrambled eggs with Shinji soon lost himself in his cooking, knowing the smell would draw his flatmates out sooner or later.

The soft click of the freezer door opening alerted him to his diminutive roomate's arrival. Peering over his shoulder he watched Pen-Pen stumble oput of his little alcove, showing the signs of an avian hangover. Pressing one flipper to his head, the warm-water penguin leaned against the wall and 'warked' pathetically. As Shinji watched the little bird waddled twoards him apparantly sniffing the food he was preparing. Stopping abruptly mid-waddle Pen-Pen's face suddenly went decidedly green, before he spun on whatever penguin equivalent he had for a heel and waddled at high speed to the bathroom. Shinji's sweatdrop fell into the frying pan, hissing loudly enough to snap the teen's attention back to his cooking. Deftly turning the sausages in their pan he cracked and added the eggs to the warmed milk before turning up the heat and stirring the mixture with a wooden spoon. Reaching across the stove, Shinji ignored the grease spots burning his skin and grabbed a plate off the side, turning away from the frying food for a second to open a can of fish he had removed from the fridge with the rest of the ingrediants.

Pouring what Shinji had on good information was fish...or had at least seen a fish at some point...onto the plate, he crouched down and placed next to the table leg knowing that if Pen-Pen felt better he would be hungry soon. If the little avian didn't want it before the two humans left in the appartment had to leave, then he'd put it in the fridge for later. As for the present he went back to his cooking before it burned.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Asuka sat awake in her bed trying to ignore the smell of Shinji's cooking wafting through her door. She'd awakened when she heard the only human male of the household shriek like a school girl half an hour previously. Her desire to avoid Shinji had overidden her curiosity, so she had remained in her bed while he had 'showered' and had listened intently as he began to prepare breakfast. The smell of sausages was beginning to make her drool. She sighed and collapsed backwards onto her bed, seeing her red hair trail out of the corner of her eyes as she fell. Shinji always made her a European breakfast when he felt guilty about something. Her smile at recalling manipulating a weeks worth of 'real' food out of the young Ikari was small and tired. She didn't know what he was trying to apologise for this time but she wished he wouldn't. She didn't want him to be sorry. Agitatedly she wiped sleep out of her puffy red eyes.

'This what you get for crying all night over the baka.' Even when she thought of the insult rather than said it she couldn't make it sound harsh anymore. Than was one of the reasons she had stopped calling him her favourite 'nickname' for him. She was too terrified he would hear her gently caress the word, rather then biting it off harshly the way she always used to. Pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, she lay her forehead on her forearms and closed her eyes. She could feel her control slipping more and more as she fought a rearguard action against her feelings. She had given up trying not to cry. She wasn't strong enough to hold back the tears anymore. Now she was struggling despirately not to give in to her desire to run out of her room and wrap her arms around Shinji, no matter what he said. Even fear that he didn't feel the same as she did...didn't...love...her wasn't enough to deter her anymore. Her stomach felt tight with her tension as she fought to stay in the bed. Fought not to remember his soft blue eyes and the way he had tasted when their lips had brushed those two times. Remembering those almost kisses doubled the tension in her belly. Asuka thought it ironic that she felt more for those two butterfly light connections than she did for their only real kiss, one of her early and misguided attempts at flirting with the quiet boy. For that she felt next to nothing because there had been no emotion behind it. She had just wanted to know what it would be like to kiss the boy. It was done out of curiosity rather than affection. The other two gave her butterflies when ever her thoughts strayed nearby. And her thoughts strayed nearly constantly now.

'Damn that baka. Damn him for making me feel this way!' Throwing herself onto her side she curled into a ball trying not to think about the boy she loved. After a while she reluctantly slipped off her bed and decided to shower before breakfast, succumbing to the smell of Shinji's cooking. He didn't make European style food often so she wasn't going to miss the opportunity. Even if she had to be near him. Because she got to be near him. Groaning softly she grabbed her towel and quietly slid her door open.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sunday. Christians believed it to be a day of rest, where you relaxed and allowed yourself to forget the trials and travails of the other 6 days of the week. Each person celebrated this in their own individual way, whether they were Christian or not. Sunday was their day off and the only downside of it was that Monday came too quickly after.

Kensuke Aida spent his Sundays in the country outside Tokyo-3. Shinji had tests at Nerv and Touji spent them with his little sister, so his Sunday's were solitary times. Mari was out of hospital now but she was still learning to walk again and Touji, ever the dilagent brother spent as much time as he could with her. Kensuke grinned wolfishly, an expression which to be frank looked just plain weird on his boyish spectacled face.

'I bet he asked Hi-ka-ri to visit today. Ha!' Kensuke stared at his feet and deepened his voice, doing a poor impression of his sport loving friend.

"Yeah, my little sister...she's been wanting to meet you...so..if you'd like to...y'know..." Instantly Kensuke clasped his hands in front of his stomach and adjusted his posture to the best approximation he could come to of Hikari's stance. The fact that this made him look like a constipated stork went unnoticed. By him anyway. His eyes shone like liquid chocolate behind his glasses as he attempted a high falsetto that sounded nothing like the Class Representative. "I'd... really like that. If you like I could cook something for us to eat!" Once again Kensuke returned to his deep 'manly' voice. "Wow that would be great! I love you Hikari!" Not too far away a bush sweatdropped.

Realizing the inherant 'wrongness' in his continuing impersenation of both his friend and, more importantly, a girl, Kensuke collapsed onto his back, his body now obscured in the thick, tall grass. Idly he lay, the camo he wore blending in quite well with the greenery around him, listening to the chicadas chirp in the trees. Sighing, Kensuke sat up and stretched. War games had always been his passion, in fact anything military had, for as long as he could remember. Not the killing, but the hardware and the precision that went into every military action. After all the more precise the action, the less people were killed. Kensuke knew that casualties were a fact of war but the dedication towards perfection was what drew him. He grinned ruefully, remembering when it had just been a desire to make things go boom, but the lessons he had learnt in the Angel Wars had stuck with him. Well, ok, there was still a healthy dose of that as well, but it was basically scientific fact that all men wanted at some level or another to make things go bang really loudly. The louder and more often the better, preferably with multicoloured lights thrown in. It was almost genetic. His grin faded. His passion was computers and war, because he had little physical ability. Soldiers maximised what little ability they had through rigorous training and Aida admired them for it. Even those with little natural ability were able to maximise their potential. Kensuke suspected deep down that he wouldn't have the strength to stick to such a regieme. It was one of the reason he had so coveted a piloting position. He had considered it an easy way to strength. Little effort for huge reward. The Angel Wars, more specifically watching Shinji slowly buckle under the strain of piloting, had taught him that that wasn't true as well. The boy sighed once again. So, he played at war because he would be no use in the real thing.

War games may have been his passion, but at the end of the day games of any kind where best played with more than one person. Touji had little to no interest in his activities and he couldn't really blame Shinji for not wanting to recreate what he spent so much time doing. So he was lying in the field alone, dreaming of militaristic glory when-

Rustle. Kensuke stiffened, then dove to the floor, flattening himself out as much as possible. Someone was nearby. Hey, he appreciated his hobby as much as the next person but it wasn't something he wanted an audience for. The weight of the sweatdrop he developed thinking about his impression of Hikari bounced his head of the soft earth. At least he didn't have his plastic AK47 with him. There was a reason he did this kind of stuff out where no one came dammit! Time to put his 'skills ' to the test. He groaned quietly, realizing his 'skills' were garnered from old action movies, and had been tested only against the grass he lay on and the occaisonal shrub.

'Still. I will do my best.' Filled with iron resolve, Kensuke inched his way forward throught the long grass, towards where the rustling sound had come from. Rustle. There it was again. Tensing Kensuke rose to a low crouch, trying to see over the top of the grass without presenting himself to full view. He could see the treeline ahead of him, the dark shadows suddenly looking much more appealing than the bright, clear, exposed, field.

A flash of red. Kensuke gasped, before ducking back down to the ground. In the trees...a...girl's ribbon? It had disappeared as soon as he had seen it, but thats what it had looked like. The cogs and wheels of Kensuke's brain spun, rapidly dismissing his usual answers to anything he couldn't understand. 'It wasn't aliens or zombies...this doesn't look like their type of work. So it might be a girl...but who?' Kensuke Aida's experiences with girls thus far had been limited to say the least. The only ones he was really on speaking terms with who weren't part of the immediate family were Hikari, (well thats Touji not me) Asuka, (well thats no one not me) and Rei (...). So none then. Suddenly the militay otaku felt really depressed by that knowledge. Shaking it off he continued his train of thought. In good adolescent male fashion he was distinctly aware of all the girls around him, even though he never spoke to them. None of the girls in his class that he could remember wore ribbons in their hair. There were a few in the school that did, in fact it had been a minor craze a month or so ago for everyone to wear ribbons in their hair. Everyone female anyway. But he didn't know the name of any of the ones who did it permenantly. As far as he could remember they were all in other classes. Of course there was no guarantee that the girl went to his school. It could be someone completely seperate he had never met before. Now that he was fairly confident he knew who was in the area and that they had nothing to do with him, he relaxed. He still didn't want to be seen though and figured he'd have a better chance at avoiding notice in the trees than he would out in the open. Hurridly crawling towards the tree line, he climbed to his feet once he was well inside the shadowed wood. Leaning against the rough bark of the tree trunk, he breathed deeply, before squatting between the tree's knarled roots. The tree he sat under was huge, it's trunk thick so that he couldn't have wrapped his arms around it if they were thrice what they really were. As such the tree seemed to have a little clearing to itself, as the branches above snaked out to touch the trees surrounding it, seeming to hold them at bay. The sheer size of the tree ment that the others were forced to grow a distance away, though they encroached on all sides. The roots were exposed, dipping into and out of the soil around the tree, all of various sizes and shapes. Looking about for one he thought would be big enough, he ambled over to a thick root, warped around a boulder perhaps half as big as himself and leaned against it. The chicadas were louder here, in the woodland where he was surrounded by them. They drowned out pretty much everything, except the loud rustling of the tree's when a breeze shook them. Absently he unbuttoned his camo jacket and took it off, laying it on the boulder next to him, feeling warmer in the trees than he had out in the open where he could feel the cool breeze fully.

Kensuke started as a small blur flew past him and settled in the branches above his head. Twisting in his seat to watch it he saw a small bird, it's body no bigger than his hand hopping along the twisted branch. Pausing, it cocked it's head down at the be-spectacled boy, showing him the teal tint to it's feathers as it moved into the light before seeming to stiffen and exploding into movement. The sudden fluttering of it's wings as it dove past Kensuke and back throught the tree's the way it had come startled the boy. But not as much as it startled the girl on the other side of the tiny grove he sat in, who promptly stepped back in alarm and fell over a root behind her with a paniced squeak. Gaping incredulously, Kensuke shot to his feet, unsure whether to bolt like a hare or to go help the girl who was quietly 'owing' from her position sat on the floor. Figuring that he would cut an even more pathetic figure if he ran, he decided to go help the girl. Who said chivalry was dead? Leaning down towards the girl who sat in the dirt and watched him approach with wide eyes he offered his hand to help her up.

"You ok? That looked like it hurt." The girl blushed and accepted his hand, allowing him to pull her up. As she got to her feet she moved out of the shadow of the tree into sunlight, allowing her helper to get a better look at her. Kensuke nearly stared. As he had suspected it was one of the girls from another class in his school. He recognised her from sight but couldn't remember her name. At the moment, looking at her, he couldn't remember his name either. Bright green eyes blinked at him and her waist length hazel hair was tied up in a high ponytail with the ribbon he had seen before in a bow. 'Wow, she's cute.' Kensuke felt himself colouring at this errant thought, before noticing that she was doing the same. 'Oh, crap did I say that out loud?' An instant away from going into apopalectic shock, he realised that he still held her hand and that was why she was blushing. Hastily he released her hand and stepped back. "Oh, sorry about that. Er, you ok?" The girl looked at him, her cheeks still softly glowing and nodded hesitantly. Rubbing the back of his head, Kensuke stepped back again and smiled forcedly. "Er, cool. Well, I'll just get going then." As he turned away to grab the jacket he had left on the boulder before seeing the girl she darted forward, her long skirt swishing around her legs.

"Er...wait a second.." Surprised he turned his attention back to the girl who now had her hands clasped in front of her busom, resting on top of her light blouse. She was colouring even more and stared fixatedly on the ground in between the two of them. She seemed to be having trouble talking and was getting more and more anxious by the second. Kensuke's eyes widened. The only time he had seen this reaction from a girl before was when... He surrupticiously checked. No..his fly was up. He turned back to the girl who was still staring at the ground like it had the secrets of the universe etched into it. Ok, now he was at a loss. He had no idea what the girl's problem was.

'She really is cute though.' Dressed conservativly in a long blue dress worked with pale flowers that looked to be a bit to thick for comfort in the warm weather, the pale blouse she wore matched the little blooms perfectly. She looked nearly angelic, with her hands clasped before her and the light shining through the trees onto her picking out the motes of dust that hung in the air and making them sparkle like diamonds. Kensuke felt his breath catch. As he watched the girl unclasped her hands and began poking her two forefingers together. He couldn't see her green crystal eyes now that she had her head down, her long fringe obscuring her face from sight like a curtain.

"Um...would you like to...get a drink with me?" Kensuke had to strain his ear to hear the girl's whispered question, but almost fainted when he heard her anyway. Swallowing loudly, he stammered a response he thought vaguely passed for a 'yes', but his brain had left the building so to speak so he wasn't really sure. He gathered he had been less than clear when the girl looked at him in confusion. Clearing his throat, and trying to jump start his brain, he made another attempt.

"Er, yeah I'd like that." Inwardly relieved he had managed to pull off the acceptance so smoothly, which basically meant without starting to froth at the mouth and falling over, Kensuke looked away from the girl, embarassed beyond belief and not wanting to start staring again now that she was looking at him. The girl suddenly beamed upon hearing his words and jumped up and down ecstatically, though now he was too engrossed in examining the beetle picking it's way over his shoe to notice. They both stood silent in the forest, listening to the chicadas chirp ceaselessly, before a sharp breeze reminded Kensuke of his jacket. "Just let me grab my jacket..." He trailed off not knowing how to end the sentence and heard the girl make a soft sound of acknowledgment.

Walking out of the woods with the girl at his side they were both quiet. Kensuke's experience with girls was extremely limited and he had no idea what to talk about. He was still stunned that the girl had asked him to have a drink with her. The girl kept her own council.

"I'm Kensuke Aida, by the way..." The boy shifted his glasses to scratch at the outside of his nose absently as he spoke.

"I know." The girls soft response made Kensuke stumble, her voice lilting and musical. When he looked at her again she was blushing and looking at the earth in front of her feet. "I-I'm Tesane Kioyuki...but all my friends call me Tessa.." They continued to walk past the tall grass on worn path back to Tokyo-3. And the girl... Tessa... continued to talk. "I'm in you're year...but not in you're class. I'm in 2-C. Most people in school know you're name, you know?" Their feet brushed past small white flowers in the grass. "The Three Stooges. You, Ikari and Suzahara. You're almost famous. So...thats how I know you're name." As they walked Kensuke noticed that she only came up to just about the level of his eye, while her soft voice kept speaking. "I only moved here a couple of months ago... My family comes from Sapporo, but my father has a new job here so I transfered schools with my little sister. I have two older brothers as well...they're both in the army." Kensuke's head popped up slightly at this last, believing it to be the only thing in the thus far one-sided conversation he would be able to give input on. "They're both quite a bit older than me, but I still remember them being really exited about the military, when we were all kids. I got into it a bit myself as well." She looked up and shook her head slightly making her hair swing drawing Kensuke's eyes to it automatically. Examining it he realised it wasn't a ponytail like he had thought but a loose braid as thick as his first two fingers. "My youngest brother...was really into computers. He could take them apart and rebuild them so that they were better than before. He taught me everything he knew. I really enjoyed spending time with him before he left, taking old computers apart and seeing how they worked." She laughed softly, not noticing Kensuke's awe struck gaze. "But those aren't the hobbies that most people expect girls to have, you know? So...I don't get to do it as much anymore. They're aren't many people I can talk to about it."

Kensuke watched as she began to blush, her face flushing a deep red, closer to crimson. "Ayase told me that you were a computer whizz when I first came here. To...to tell you the t-truth I've been...watching you for a while. I come out here sometimes because I like the peace and quiet...but also because I kept hoping to bump into you..." Abruptly she turned away from him and began to walk faster. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you..." Kensuke gaped. He cursed himself virulently for not bringing his camera, cause that was the only way he was gonna believe what just happened. He blamed his brain still not being in gear. Yeah, that sounded like a good excus- er, reason. Jogging lightly to catch up with the girl he reached her side and began to walk alongside her again.

"So...where do you want to get that drink?" The girl stopped, leaving Kensuke to stumble to a halt a couple of steps in front of her, the dust at his feet swirling as he skidded to a stop. Tessa looked at him, hands clasped in front of her chest again, like when he had first really seen her in the wood, except this time he could see her green eyes. He grinned sheepishly and tried not to blush, stuffing his hands into his pockets, unable to meet her gaze. The otaku heard her walking forwards and saw her feet as she stopped in front of him. After a few seconds of silence he looked up at her face.

Her smile made her look even more beautiful.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Touji Suzahara paced back and forth in front of the couch obscuring his little sister's view of the television at least once every 10 seconds. It occured to Mari Suzahara that a futher downside to not being able to walk, besides the obvious, was that she couldn't kick her brother either. Sighing, the young girl muted the television, giving up hope of being able to watch Sunday morning cartoons in peace. Instead she watched her big brother bouncing back and forth across the room like a demented tracksuit wearing ping-pong ball. The little girl watched as her brother quietly released his last tenious grip on sanity.

"ARGH, what am I going to do! She's gonna be here any minute!" Holding his head in his hands Touji tried despirately not to hyperventilate. "Why'd I invite her around anyway? 'Hey Hikari. Why don't you come round and meet my sister Hikari?'" Touji's impression of himself, as well as sounding nothing like his actual voice also managed to cut out all the muttering, mumbling, stuttering, stammering and occaisonal manaical laughter that his actual offer to the Class Rep had featured. Stiffening abruptly Touji swallowed. "What the hell do I call her? I always call her Class Rep, but we're outside school now. Should I call her Horaki? Or Hikari? ARGH!" Mari, very familiar with her brothers frequent mental spasms, giggled quietly. She didn't want to interrupt the show after all. She was glad her father and grandfather were in work today. There was no one to limit her brother's insanity now. "Should I wear this? It's what I always wear so...But in the other hand it's what I always wear... Dammit!" Shouting his frustration to the skies, or in this case the living room ceiling, Touji went back to pacing.

Mari giggled again. She was looking forward to meeting the girl that Touji was always talking about. She had met his other friends already. Kensuke she knew for years, but she had only just met Shinji a couple of months ago when he visited her in the hospital. The doorbell rang piercing the silence eof the household. Spinning around violently, Touji cracked his neck loudly and went down like a poleaxed bear. Muttering something about giving himself whiplash, the boy levered himself off the floor and staggered to the front door rubbing the side of his neck. Swinging the door open he froze, finding Hikari Horaki on the otherside holding a shopping bag.

"Uh, hey...'Ah screw it!'...Hikari, come in." Stepping out if the way he let the Class Representative pass, noting as she did that her hair was in a single ponytail, rather than the usual two pigtails. Once past him into the house's little hallway, she spun back towards him, making him notice her outfit as well. A single piece purple sundress trailing down to her ankles, with a soft yellow blouse underneath. Definately nothing like he had ever seen her in before. He noticed the carrier bag in her hands. "Uh..whats with the bag?" She looked startled for a second, then blushed a little.

"Well I thought that since you invited me round I could cook lunch for the two of you. You already said none of the men in the family could cook and I wouldn't want your sister to have to..." She trailed off not meeting his eyes. Touji was stunned. Here was the Class Rep, the girl he had a serious thing for, in his house, lookin' like a babe and offering to cook for him. Hell, for karma this good he must have set up a monestry, or been a missionary eaten by cannibals or somethin' in a past life. Either way it was definately worth it.

"Aw, ya don't have to do that." 'What the hell are you saying! Let her do it dammit!' "I mean you're the guest. I wouldn't feel right making you cook." 'Yes you would! You'd feel great about it! Pass this up and I'll kick your ass!' "I wouldn't want you to have to go through the trouble.." 'She offered! THAT MEANS ITS NO TROUBLE DAMMIT!' Hikari shook her head, unaware of Touji's internal monologue.

"It's ok, I really enjoy cooking. And besides ..." Pink tinged her cheeks again. "...I haven't eaten yet either.." Well this was technically true, but here was no real need to tell him that the reason she haden't eaten already was so she could eat at his place. Touji scratched the back of his head, still feeing uncomfortable about it. Well, partially uncomfortable. The little voice that really enjoyed Hikari's cooking was alternating between doing a victory dance and threatening to murder him in his sleep if he passed up this opportunity.

"Well...if it's not a problem for you..." Touji trailed off helplessly. Hikari brightened noticably.

"No trouble!" Still rubbing the back of his head, Touji motioned with his free arm towards the living area.

"Well, I'll introduce you to Mari, then I guess I'll show you the kitchen." Hikari smiled at him and followed him into the living area. His little sister had switched the T.V. off and turned on the family games console. Her face was a picture of concentration as she focused on obliterating her enemy. Touji coughed to steal her attention away from pulverising her opponent, while Hikari watched the small girl play. Pausing the game Mari turned to meet her brother and the person she didn't know. Hikari bowed politely to the little girl. Aside from some thin scars on her arms the girl looked fine but she had heard from Touji that her legs were still weak. She could only walk small distances still and even that pained her quickly. But to the eye, she looked like a normal enough little girl. Her hair, light brown was tied up in two high pigtails, held in place with ties fashioned to have little red balls on the outside. Her eyes were the same colour as her brother's.

"Hiya!" The little girl piped up in response to her bow. Touji chuckled at them both and layed a hand on his little sister's head.

"Mari, this is Hikari. Hikari this is my little sis." Mari grinned as her brother ruffled her hair playfully. "Hikari says she's gonna cook us lunch ok sis?" Hikari smiled at the little girl and gave a tiny wave.

"Yay! Real food!" Hikari tried valiantly not to smile at Mari's obvious joy. It seemed that Touji's appraisal of the male Suzahara's cooking abilities may have been optimistic. She laughed out loud when she saw the vein pop out on the jock's temple.

"Hey! You saying I can't cook real food pipsqueak?" Touji's face, now contorted into a mock scowl was inches away from his little sisters and he was shaking his clenched fist under her chin. Mari poked him in the nose.

"Big brother can't cook." Touji collapsed on the little girl in defeat, being careful not to put too much of his weight on her as he tickled her lightly in the sides. Hikari smiled at the two of them, and felt warm watching Touji play with his little sister. Touji stood up, releasing Mari, who grinned up at him happily.

"I'm gonna show Hikari the kitchen, so I'll be back in a bit ok?

"Yay! Real food!"

"Stop saying that!" Hikari giggled as Touji led her through the house to the kitchen just behind the living room. Setting the plastic bag down on the counter top, Hikari appraised the kitchen, taking note of where everything was. Touji leaned on the counter behind her casually before moving towards the fridge. "You want a drink Hikari?" The Class Rep shook her head, thanking him for the offer. She spoke as she began to unpack the shopping bag.

"How long before she's completely better?" Touji sighed, pulling the wimple on his can of soda and trying to distince himself from it when it sprayed a little.

"The doctor's aren't sure. They think that with 6 months of pyhsio she'll be back to what she was before the accident." He sipped the soda that had escaped onto the can's rim and shrugged. "I'm just glad she's out of the hospital at last." Hikari watched him take a swig of soda.

"You really care for her don't you?" Visibily uncomfortable Touji shrugged again.

"It's probably because she hasn't been around at home do much. Give me a couple of months of having her around constantly and I'll go back to wanting to throw her out the window." Hikari wasn't sure whether to be scandalised by the boy's words or amused by them. She settled for smiling as she scolded him.

"Big brother! Come play with me!" Touji looked over his shoulder towards the living room, hearing his little sister's plea. Turning back to Hikari he saw her ready to start cooking. She smiled at him understandingly.

"Go on. You'd just get in the way here." Touji smiled back at her, ignoring her additional comment, before going to join his little sister in the other room. Hikari kept smiling as she watched him leave.

"I don't believe you Touji Suzahara. You really do care about her."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hikari laughed out loud as Mari beat Touji again. The teenage boy groaned and hung his head, while the little girl squealed in delight. At first Hikari had been certain Touji had been letting the girl win on purpose, but the increased despiration and inarticulate rage on his face after every loss was making her wonder. All the time she had been cooking all she heard from the living room was the sound of battle and Touji's cries of anger. And Mari's giggles. Now having finished lunch she sat with the two Suzaharas cheering Mari on. The look of shocked betrayal on Touji's face when she had started had been priceless. Touji had refused to allow her to clean up, saying that cooking was the most he could accept from her in one visit. He then went on to say that the washing would be waiting for her the next time she came so there was no need to hurry. After he had finished trying to convince her not to maim him, they had gone back to the living room to play with Mari.

She watched Touji frantically bash the buttons on his pad, the tip of his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth. He was doing better than usual and actually had Mari on a fairly low level of health. Though he was just behind her. She was startled when Touji called out the name of his move, preparing for victory.

"SUPER DRAGON PUNCHOOWAH?" Halfway through his move Mari's character had punched him in the head, killing him. Touji stood frozen in place, half out of his seat ready to jump in the air in celebration of a victory that never came. Abruptly he sank back into the couch, growling an affirmative when his opponent asked if he wanted a re-match. Hikari watched as the game continued, but her eyes were drawn to Touij's left hand. The prosthetic. The best in cybernetic technology, there was still no way anyone could believe that it was something it was not. A cool blue colour, the metal was coated in a soft translucent polymer to make it at least feel like skin to anyone who touched, even though they could easily see it was anything but. Hikari shook her head as she shifted her eyes to watch Touji's face.

'You piloted for you're little sister and you expect me to believe you don't care that much about her?' Hikari shook her head again. Then laughed when Mari won the match.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It seemed to Shinji that life was all about choices. You could choose to drink the night away and feel like re-fried death the next morning, or you could have one or two drinks and sleep soundly. You could bite the bullet and go shopping with you're girlfriend, or you could duck and weave and take manly way out by claiming malls make you're allergies act up. You could talk to the girl you're in love with, clear up any misunderstandings and go forward with knowledge and facts...or you could stay silent and watch the woman you love drift futher and futher away from you.

'When you put it like that the answers obvious. So why can't I talk to her?' Shinji Ikari examined Asuka Langley Sohryu out of the corner of his eyes, not wanting to draw attention from either the German girl herself or the blue haired girl on his other side. Trapped between red and blue, hot and cold, fire and ice. Shinji felt there was probably a lesson to be learned here somewhere. Sadly having gone to school here in Tokyo-3 for so long and being conditioned to recognise that lesson naptime, the lesson was totally lost on the confused teen.

Asuka hadn't spoken a word to him all day. Neither had Rei, but that was hardly unexpected. Just because she was becoming more open with her feelings didn't mean she was going to go totally out of character. Soon enough the three silent teens entered the geofront, and made their way through Nerv HQ to the changing rooms.

'Is it just me...or have the corridors gotten whiter?' Shinji shook his head quickly, dispelling that train of thought. Rounding the last corner to the locker rooms all Shinji was surprised to see a small contingent of guards waiting for them at the door. One of them anyway, there was no real need to assume that all the pilots were wanted by whoever sent their welcome party. As they approached the foremost figure who was now shown to be a female Section 2 agent turned to greet them. Bowing slightly to the three pilots she spoke calmly and crisply.

"You're presence is requested in the Commander's Office." Shinji and Asuka exchanged glances of surprise; Misato had said she had no intention of using the official office that came with her new rank. She said the painting on the ceiling made her naseous. Asuka's suggestion that she just redecorate was dismissed, under the excuse that she prefered to be closer to the Command Bridge anyway. Asuka's suggestion that it was because she wanted to play tic-tac-toe against the Bridge Bunnies was hotly denied.

Surrounded by a wall of suits, all of whom towered above the three they were escorting, the pilots made their way to their new destination. After they reached one of the moving walkways Asuka started talking quietly.

"That place always gave me the creeps. Won't be nearly as bad with the bastard gone though." None of them had gone into the room since his father's disappearance. Shinji was surprised when Rei nodded slowly.

"I too am glad he is no longer there." Asuka looked at Rei for a few seconds expressionlessly, before gently nudging the quiet girl's arm with her own and smiling at her. Shinji watched the exchange, but noted that some of their escort shifted uneasily when referance to the former commander, however circumspect, was made. He chuckled to himself silently. It looks like even some of Section 2 were uncomfortable around Gendo Ikari. His attention was re-focused as Rei continued to speak. "He made me into a doll. I do not wish to be a doll." Her voice trailed off into a whisper. This time Asuka reached over and squeezed the First Child's hand. Rei looked at her in appreciation, before returning to her contemplation of the broad sholdered back in front of her. Stepping off the walkway the group continued their walk, arriving outside the broad double doors of the Commander's Office soon after. Asuka stepped forward, curious to know what the deal was and strode through the doors unconcernedly, Rei following quickly behind her.

"All right Misato, what's the big deal-." The German girl cut off abruptly. Shinji, being the last in was still coming through the doors when both of the girls in fornt of him stopped dead. Concerned he moved further forward, opting to step around Rei rather than try and squeeze between the two girls. Leaning around the blue haired girl, he to, tensed at what he saw.

His father. Sat behind his desk leaning forward with his elbows on the wood, hands clasped in front of his face.

The shock alone stunned him into silence, though even had he been able to speak he would have had no idea what he wanted to say. He heard the door swing shut behind them with a click, plunging the room into near complete darkness. The soft, sepia illumination of the wall and ceiling light panels only barely enough to make out the intricate design above his head of the Tree of Life. Silence reigned. Dully Shinji became aware of harsh breathing in the still air, tried to stifle it, believing it to be his own. Only after his attempts failed did he realise that it was not coming from him, but from Rei. Turning to look at her in the darkness, Shinji's breath caught, lodged in his throat like a chicken bone lodged in his larynx. Sweat clearly stood out on her pale skin and her ruby eyes had shrunk. Her body trembled visably and her breath was harsh and ragged. Her eyes were fixed on the man who sat behind the desk upon the sphere of God. Shinji looked further over, past Rei. Asuka's face was set, her hands clenched tightly and her arms shook with the strain.

The sound of the chair shifting across the floor drew Shinji's attention back towards his father, who had now stood and was walking towards the three of them. He halted a dozen feet away from Shinji, his face eclipsed in shadow so that the younger of the two men could only see his features chisled in blackness.

"Rei. You will move in with me tomorrow." He paused. "I am your legal guardian and I am...taking responsiblity." The backhanded slap at his own son did not go unnoticed. The boy clenched his fists to stop the twitch he had developed after the 3rd Angel from showing his distress. Shinji watched Rei as she shook, now blatantly, with no hope of anyone failing to notice. Her breath came in short gasps, as if it were thick tar and she was choking on it as she inhaled. Shinji couldn't see his father's eyes but he could tell they had shifted away from Rei. "Pilot Sohryu. I am surprised to see you. I was under the impression you were still comatose." He lied. Shinji knew that he would know Asuka had woken up. But he said it anyway. "No matter. You were just as useless either way. So much like you're mother. Poor mental health must be a trait in your family." He was taunting her. Shinji knew she was sensitive about that above anything else, an irrational fear she didn't think he knew about, a fear that had left her screaming as she awoke in the night, a fear of going insane like her mother. And his father knew it too. An imperceptable shift in the elder Ikari's posture told Shinji that his attention was back on Rei. Asuka seemed to have shrunk into herself, eyes wide and her head shaking back and forth in denial. Shinji could feel his fists clench tighter. Could hear the whispered mantra Rei was repeating over and over under her breath.

"I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am not a doll, I am..."

Tighter. Could see Asuka's eyes squeezed shut as she stuggled to defeat her doubts and demons, now given a new lease of life by his father. Could feel his nails digging into his palms, the pain a distant thing. Could see Rei shaking her head violently, trying to tear her eyes away from the man standing before her. Could see the dry sobs wrack his German roomate's body. Could see Rei's foot lift off the ground as it tried to take her to stand at Gendo's side, making the lilac dress she had bought with Asuka swish gently around her ankles. Could feel the sharp pain as his nails pierced the skin. Could see the tears leaking out of Asuka's clenched eyes. Could see the tears streaking down Rei's pale face. Could feel the cold blood drip from between his fingers onto the floor. Tighter. Tighter. Tighter.

Crack.

"No."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"HE DID WHAT?" Misato Katsuragi's roar of fury echoed through the command centre. She had come in to pick up the children as soon as they finished their tests, planning to take them out for a meal afterwards. She had enjoyed going out with the three of them the week before. They were her family after all. She'd invited Makoto along, saying that they could both head to Nerv HQ straight after the meal, sleep in one of the ward rooms and use the change of uniform they left in their lockers for their next morning shift. More than happy to spend time with her and the pilots, he had agreed. Which was why they were both in the Command Centre when they weren't meant to be. Which is why Commander Misato Katsuragi was informed personally that Major Gendo Ikari had summoned the Children to his office by a group of perturbed Section 2 agents.

Makoto leaned over Shoji's shoulder, fingers flying across the keyboard as he tried to break the encryption Ikari had locked onto the security camera's in his office. Shoji was trying to stay the hell out of the way. Hyugga and he may nominally be of the same rank, but he knew when to step aside. Ritsuko and Maya were trying the same thing, while Shigeru was cycling through camera's outside the office door trying to find a clue as to what was occuring within. And Misato was standing, shaking with fury, eyes staring past them all, seeing things they weren't seeing. They were her family.

Spinning on her heel she stalked to her desk, ripping open one of the lower draws as she reached it. The snap and click of the a clip being rammed home into her handgun echoed loudly in the cavern like room. She met Ritsuko's eyes and then Makoto's, both of whom immediatly abandoned their posts to follow her to the door as she headed for the office. The squeal of swivel chairs was the only indication that Maya and Shigeru were following them. They were her family.

She started running and heard the others running too, their footfalls echoing loudly on the steel floors. They were her family.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He stepped forward. In front of Rei. In front of Asuka. Just him and his father, standing on the tree of Sephiroth.

"No what, pilot?"

"You can't have them. I won't let you." Steel coated voices dueling in the darkness. "They are not yours. And you cannot have them." Burning anger, searing into his father's shadowed eyes like augers. Watching him shift, uneasy, discomforted.

"You forget yourself pilot. You are in no position to deny me anything."

"I am in the only position I want to be in." Stood here, where I need to be. Where I want to be. Where I have to be. Between you and them. "And I deny you everything." The last word a hiss drawn out into the darkness, trailing off like a viper's warning. Turning sharply, walking away from him, between the two girls as they stared at him. Pushing the door open he gently ushered them out, softening his eyes as they both hurried past him into the harsh artificial light outside. As he swung the door closed.

"Running away from me again?" Pause.

"No, father. I'm walkingaway from you." Click.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Misato rounded the corner as the two girls hurried out of the room, Shinji holding the door open for them. Slowing to a jog, she saw him pause and lean back inside the room for a second before closing the door behind him. As she reached them Shinji stepped forward, between the two girls, both of whom had red eyes and tear streaks trailing down their cheeks. Misato gasped at the overt show of emotion from both girls.

"Misato? Could one of you take us back to the appartment?" Misato nodded slowly, her eyes flittering between the three of them, ignoring the test they had scheduled.

"Makoto? Could you...?" Hyugga nodded his assent quickly.

"Sure. C'mon kids, I'm your driver for today so lets get you home." Misato watched as the three children accompanied Hyugga down the corridor all seemingly lost in thier own thoughts. Resolutely turning around, she stalked past the other three member of her group and stepped through the door, closing it behind her.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Gendo Ikari sat in his chair, leaning back so he could stare up at the System Sephirothica marked out on the ceiling. Today had been a day of...surprises.

"I don't know what happened in here but if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll put a bullet in your brain and bury you so deep in Terminal Dogma that the rats won't even find you." She had spun away from him then, so much like his son had done before her. "Enjoy the darkness, Major Ikari."

"Why did you do it Gendo? It's not like the outcome would have made any difference to our current circumstances. Or were you seriously expecting Rei to meekly rejoin you?" He could still hear the incredulity in his old sensei's voice as he asked the question from his place in the shadows where no-one had noticed him.

"It is of little importance. I was merely curious to see their reactions. Even had she agreed I had no intention of living with Rei."

"...I see."

Unstopping the bottle one last time, he poured the remainder of the amber liquid into a tumbler. He stared at the glass.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shinji stood on the balcony of the appartment, like he had so many nights before and watched the city. After Makoto had dropped them off and he had assured the Bridge Bunny that they were all ok he had prepared a quick meal for the two girls and himself. Rei had seemed somewhat confused about her reason for being at the Katsuragi residence but Shinji had waved away her inquiry and told her she was sleeping in his bed tonight while he took the couch. After hesitation she had nodded and retired to his room after he gave her one of his clean shirts to sleep in. Both the girls had gone to bed early, but Shinji couldn't sleep. After half-heartedly watching television for an hour he had tried playing on one of the old console games. A sport title, one he was never very good at and he hoped that by focusing his attention on the game he could ignore the thoughts that plagued him. He realised after catching himself seriously considering playing for another 3 hours to unlock the 'hairstyle edit' option that he may well have found the greater of two evils. So he had retreated to the balcony, a little disappointed that the overcast sky wouldn't let him watch the stars. Instead he focused his attention on the park a couple of blocks from his home, watching the tree's sway with the breeze.

But the cool night air did not bring him the peace of mind it usually did and so with a rueful smile at the cloud shrouded sky he slid the balcony door open and stepped inside. Deciding that since he was doing nothing, he might as well do nothing on the couch where the was a chance of sleep, albiet uncomfortable. Feeling the call of nature he softly padded down the corridor to the bathroom, past the two bedrooms. Having concluded his business transaction with the porcelain bowl, one which had resulted in mutual benefits for both participants, and washed his hands Shinji exited the bathroom once more.

Passing his room he could pick out the sign Misato had given him when he first arrived in Tokyo-3. Shinji's Lovely Suit. He supposed it was a joke at the time, seeing as before his arrival the only room that was in any kind of decent or 'lovely' condition was his. The rest looked like an Eva had gone postal in a land fill. Smiling faintly as he examined the now faded lettering, he paused, hearing a sound from the other side of the door. Leaning closer he heard the sound of quiet sobs, a sound he was more than familiar with. Hesitantly pressing his ear against the cool wood, he heard Rei Ayanami crying. Rocking back on his heels, Shinji considered, then slid the door open and stepped in quietly, shutting the door behind him. In the dim light he watched as Rei, sprawled on his bed, shook and trembled with the choked sobs that wracked her body. As he stepped closer she seemed to register his presence and turned slightly so she could see who had disturbed her misery.

"S-Shinji...?" He winced as he heard her hoarse voice cracking as she uttered his name. Refusing to be deterred he stepped closer and knelt by the bedside, seeing that her red eyes were focused on him, though she still shook. Not knowing what to do to comfort the distraught girl he played his hand lightly on her back, intending to rub gentle circles and mutter senseless soothings. The weight of Rei slamming into him nearly knocked him flat on his ass, but he steadied himself even as the girl wrapped her arms around him, pushed her face into the crook between his shoulder and neck and bawled her eyes out. Still unsure of his actions he pulled her closer and held her in his arms as she wept. Bringing his head down to rest on her light feathery hair he heard her whisper faintly through her tears.

"Please...tell me I'm not a doll..." Tightening his embrace, he hushed her delicately.

"You're not a doll, Rei...it's ok..." She seemed to relax at his assurances and loosened her grip on him. "You'll still be here tomorrow..." He felt Rei nod into his shoulder but he still held her. It was a few minutes before he realised that she had falled asleep. Trying to lift her onto the bed without slamming her into the far wall, he adjusted her limbs towards what looked like a comfortable position before pulling the covers up to her chin. Preparing to turn away, he was surprised to hear her start mumbling something, thinking she had awoken once again. Leaning down to assure the girl that he was still there, Shinji noticed that she was just mumbling in her sleep.

"...brother..." Smiling softly Shinji bent down and kissed Rei softly in the forehead, feeling her azure hair against his lips.

"Goodnight little sister." Turning away from the sleeping girl he stepped back into the corridor and silently slid the door shut behind him. Now at a loss, he started for his bed for the night. The couch. Before he had three steps he heard the sound of soft crying once again, and spun pressing his ear to his door quickly. Silence greeted him on the other side. And if Rei wasn't the one crying, then there was only one other it could be. Well, it could be the penguin but Shinji felt the chances of that were sufficiently slim to be worth ruling out. Stepping down the corridor a few paces he stopped outside Asuka's room, where the crying was now obviously coming from. Scrubbing a hand through his hair and swallowing thre lump that was making a spirited bid for freedom via his throat he slowly slid the door open. Much like Rei before her Asuka was face down on her bed, but unlike Rei she was holding her pillow to her face trying to stifle the sounds of her misery, to little effect. Stepping closer, his desire to help tempered with a desire to live, he whispered into the darkness.

"...Asuka?" At hearing her name the redhead spun in her bed, her panic and terrified gaze locking onto the young man who lived with her. Her mouth hanging open and tears still streaking down her cheeks unabated, she struggled to regain some sliver of composure.

"Get out.." Her voice, hitching on the sobs and hiccups still in her chest came out weak and hoarse. "Get out...damn you..." Shinji stared at her unmoving. "Get out!" Agner kindling the fire behind her eyes once more she moved across the room towards him. "GET OUT!" Even now shouting as loudly as she could, it would barely reach throught the walls, it even that. Seeing he was not intending to move, Asuka shoved him with her arms, but her body was still weak from her tears and only accomplished pushing him back a few steps into the door behind him. Vision blurred by tears that she could feel pouring down her face, Asuka pushed again, only forcing him into the wooden door again. Shinji just stared at her, lost for words. Frustrated that the boy wouldn't just let her feel like shit in peace, she hammered on his chest as hard as she could, the movements tearing more sobs from her raw throat. "...Stop looking at me like that...stop looking at me..." Rythmically pounding her fists off his chest she vented her emotions, all the pent up pain and frustration she had been feeling since that Sunday last week and topped off with seeing the bastard today. "..why do you have to be so...why?...why can't i stop lov-" Abruptly throwing herself at the boy, she rested her head on his chest and let the tears take her, unable to speak. Dully feeling the boy press his face into her hair she pressed her little plams into his chest as his arms wrapped around her and drew her closer. Instinctivly responding she pressed herself tighter against him as she wept, listening to his soft whispers as he mumbled into her ear. Just glad to be with him.

Shinji felt the young girl's body pressed into him, the soft warm feeling of her breasts pushing against him. Ignoring the sensation he kept stroking her fiery hair, trying to sooth her. He could feel her wet tears dampen his shirt where she was pressed against him, but ignored that too, finding it much easier to put that out of his mind than the other.

"Sshhh...I'm here. I'll always be here for you Asuka...I'll never leave you..." Dully realising what he was saying to the girl in his arms he still couldn't muster the strength to try to amend his words. They were too much the truth to change. Feeling Asuka relax and snuggle into his embrace, he shifted the arm that wasn't stroking her haor to cradle her slightly, so she wouldn't just drop to the floor if she fell asleep against him. After hearing her breathing slow and become deeper he realised that was just what had happened. Standing there, he remained in that position for a while allowing her to fall into a deep enough sleep so that he could move her without her awakening and because he couldn't make himself let her go.

Finally he picked her up, trying not to stumble as he cradled her against him, her head still leaning on his chest. Depositing her on her bed as gently as possible, he wrapped har blankets around her as best he could, seeing as he had no way of moving them before he set her down. Kneeling at her bedside, he found himself focusing on her soft rosebud lips as she breathed. Found himself inching closer to her as he had the day before they had defeated the 7th Angel. And pulling away at the last minute, just as he had done then.

'That wouldn't be fair to her.'

"Goten nacht Asuka."

Stepping out of her room he didn't hear her mumble his name in her sleep.

Collapsing into the couch, he stared at the ceiling without seeing. Turning to the balcony window he could see the deluge of rain outside the glass door.

'When did it start raining?' Thinking off the storm outside, a sudden crack of thunder made him jump in his seat. He was glad Pen-Pen was asleep. He knew the penguin didn't like storms. Absently wondering how the kitten Rei adopted would be dealing with the storm he sat up abruptly. Rei had come back to this appartment after leaving Nerv so the creature would have been left alone all day. 'And unfed too.' Looking at the downpour outside, he thought of the cat hungry and alone in Rei's desolate flat. He shook his head to clear away the image. It reminded him too much of what his childhood had been like. Closing his eyes and leaning back into the arm rest of the couch Shinji tried to sleep.

Five minutes later he cursed quietly as he levered himself off the couch. Stepping into the front hall he slipped his shoes on, grabbed a coat and took an umberella from the stand. As Shinji stepped out into the rain to begin the walk towards the ruby eyed girl's home he thanked the Gods that at least the rain meant that people who saw him couldn't see his tears.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Ok explanation time yeah? Well fine then. Firstly the Kensuke thing. Every romance anime I have ever seen has featured the habit of 'confessing', which seems to involvr going up to someone you secretly like, who may have never met you, and telling them your feelings before asking them to be your boy/girlfriend. And as we all know romance anime is a totally accurate representation of adolescent Japanese life so that's the basis for that scene. It's also why there are so many Japanese stalker in the world. Perfect Blue my ass. Also in Japan it is considered rude to discuss hobbies as it is believed they are a personal thing. Similarly while the term 'otaku' has been Americanisized, the actual japanese meaning is rather more derogatory, referring to someone who would take their hobby to obsessive lengths, to the point of damaging their social life for it. Both of these explain Kensuke's initial desire not to be caught alone in a field playing at war.

Next my portrayal of the girls and Shinji with Gendo. The girls will get time next chapter to explain why they rected so violently and my portrayal of Shinji stems from both the times in the anime when he defies his father. The time whne he threatens to trash the HQ after the 13th and when he quits following that incident. I'll admit it's OOC to a degree but it's the best I could do while keeping to the confines of the scene. My apologies to anyone who doesn't think it worked out too well.

One last thing though, I want a show of hands as to how many readers thought at the begining of the scene I was gonna make Shinji do the nasty with Rei. Or Asuka. hell it's the conclusion Iwould have jumped too. And with that disturbing insight into the void of darkness that is my mind...

Anyway the next chapters the last, so then I can finally sleep. Yahoo. Any complaints about the chapter can be addressed to 'Bite Me'.

Ja Ne.