Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)
Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M
Thanks to ontheDL! Don't worry, I was thinking exact thing as you about Alec... :)
Chapter 3 – Dear diary.....
Logan was taking a walk, since he had nothing better to do. Max didn't come to see him the entire day, so he wondered the streets. Suddenly he heard a car braking. He turned around to see Alec riding his bike, not even looking where he's going. It was like he was running from someone. But, than he stopped. Logan could tell something was wrong, but still didn't want to make his appearance. So he just stepped behind a wall, so Alec can't see him. He saw him wiping his eyes, before heading off and he realized the only thing he was running away from was his memories. Although he didn't like Alec very much, he still felt bad for him. He remembered how it was when he thought Max had died. "Alec needs help, or he will do something stupid "– Logan thought. – "I need to talk to Max. She could talk to him. Maybe, make him realize he has friends in this world." With that thought he headed home, not knowing Max was way ahead of him.
Alec still thought about Rachel while riding to his next destination, but he also thought of Max. She looked at him differently since the experience at Berrisford mansion. "Well, now she must think I'm pathetic. This only proved her that she is stronger than me. She must enjoy this. Well,I don't need her pity!" – he thought getting off his bike. He decided he was in no mood to go with Sketchy to their dates. All he needed was to do is to get drunk! Or at least, try. But, first he needed to see Max again. He needed to see if the smell was still there...
Max finished her work for that day trying not to think about Rachel's journal in her locker. And trying to avoid Alec. Although she washed up, she was still afraid that he might be able to feel the smell of Rachel's perfume on her. So she just stopped at Jam Pony to get another delivery before heading back out. Normal was quite surprised by that, but didn't complain. When she was finished, she went to her locker to get the rest of her things. And there was Alec leaning against it, obviously waiting for her. "Well, there goes nothing. That smell better be gone, or I'm dead!"
"Hey" – she said startling him. – "Need something?"
Alec turned around taking his time to smell her, but there was nothing there. Just Maxes normal scent. "It's not there anymore. Have I imagined it? I couldn't have..."
"Ahm...No, just checking on things before I head off on a date.
"With Sketchy and two beautiful blonds?" – Max asked smiling.
His smirk appeared on his face. – "That's the one. It should be....interesting."
Max just rolled her eyes while unlocking her locker.
"So? Any new jobs for us? Does Logan have something interesting? I mean, I could use some challenge."– Alec asked standing really close, still trying to recognize the smell he felt before. "There's nothing there, just Max..." - but even that made him quiver, so he backed away.
It just occurred to Max she hasn't heard from Logan all day. She didn't even remembered to stop by his house, like she normally does.
"Oh, no, nothing new." – she said backing a little. – "Haven't heard from Logan all day".
Alec was astonished. "You haven't seen your love all day?! – he said, purposely emphasizing the word love. – "Well, Max, I thought I won't see the day. Well, it was about time that you find someone who you can at least touch. That was not good for both of you."– he said seriously.
Max was getting angry, but mostly because she knew he told the truth. There was no future for her and Logan, considering the virus, but she wasn't ready to just move on.
"Well, I don't see how is that your business!" – she said harshly. – "Don't you think I don't know that's not smart, but who can determine who to love!? Ha? Could you do it....?"– she stopped, realizing she has gone too far.
He just looked aside. He felt sorry for her, knowing how she felt. He lost his love forever, but Max still needed to see Logan day after day not being able to touch him.
"Look, sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." – he apologized. – "I better get going. I shouldn't leave Sketchy with those girls alone for too long, or they'll run and I won't have any company for tonight." – he smirked while heading off.
Max just rolled her eyes thinking how Joshua was right. Alec was hiding behind his tough surface. And she felt bad for him. They were more alike than she thought.
"Well, if you need some company, just call." – she said quietly, surprising Alec and herself as well. He turned around, prepared to see pity in her eyes. But it wasn't there, just.....something he couldn't describe, but it made him quiver. For the first time he didn't have any smart response, so he just mumbled: "Ahm...yeah, sure...bye" – and with that he was gone. He almost bumped into some guy on his way out not looking where he was going.
"Well, now I really need to get drunk!" And with that thought he headed towards Crash.
Max looked after him for a second feeling bad, than realizing she still needs to pack her stuff, and with that she meant her little treasure. She took Rachel's journal and put it in her backpack before heading towards her ride.
"Well, Alec, tonights the night I will find out what exactly happened with you
and Rachel" – she thought, not realizing she will find out things she couldn't handle...
She opened her apartment door, happy to realize OC wasn't home. "Probably at Crash" – she thought. – "Even better. I need to be alone." She sat on the couch, took her backpack, and than pulled Rachel's journal from it. She saw that lock was broken from the fall. She opened it up and saw really nice, feminine handwriting. Just as she was about to start reading, her beeper went off. She looked at it and saw it was Logan. She thought for a second should she call him back, but decided against. "Probably just checking on me." – she thought. – "I was waiting the entire day to see whats in this journal. He can wait". And with that thought, she headed toward her bathroom. She decided she needed a bath. Slowly she got into the tub, and took the journal in her hands, carefully, so she wouldn't get it wet. She flipped through some of the pages trying to find the right ones. And there they were:
"...I got my new piano teacher today. His name is Simon Lehane and he's REALLY young. Must be some wonder child. This young, and yet already musical genius. I normally don't check out my teachers, but Simon is special. I mean, he is a very handsome man. I couldn't help but notice his eyes...very pretty, but somehow sad. I know I should be concentrated on my playing instead of his eyes, but there are something about them. Like they can hypnotize me..." – Max stopped reading and thought: "What's so special about his eyes? Well, I'll see for myself the next time I see him." – She flipped through some more pages and froze: "...WE KISSED TONIGHT!!! He came for dinner, and I took him to pool house after. We went for a swim. He took his shirt off, and I must say: he's body is gorgious!..."-
"OK, first his eyes, now his body?! "– Max thought. – "I don't need to know that much!"- but she kept reading:
"...We were standing close to one another, and I asked him, does he like me. He was a little surprised, but he said he liked me! And, than, we kissed. Well, I kissed him... It was so sweet. His lips were so soft, like they haven't kissed before..."- Max looked at those words: "haven't kissed before". "Oh, Rachel, if you only knew." – She remembered her first kiss. It was with some guy when she was in heat. Didn't mean anything. But she knew this was different. His first kiss meant something. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine how he felt at that moment. Subconsciously, she licked her own lips. She could almost see Alec kissing, but she didn't see Rachel as the girl who he was kissing. She saw herself. She suddenly opened her eyes, feeling very strange. Water around her felt warmer, and her hands were trembling. Something shifted inside her, and she knew she has gone too far. "Oh, God, what I'm doing? What was I thinking? I don't need to know about my friends' body." – she wanted to close the journal, forget everything, but Rachel's words kept calling her. So she opened the journal again:
"...I told him I loved him today. He was trembeling...I honestly don't know how he got under my skin like that. When he holds me, he clings to me, like it's the last time he would do so. When he kisses me, his lips move, like they will never kiss again. He makes me feel special..."
Max closed the journal sighing, gently running her hand across that soft leather skin. Alec was experiencing something special with Rachel. Something he shouldn't, not at that time. But, she respected him for that. She saw the person inside him now, she saw more. Rachel made him feel, and with her gone, he will close himself behind his 494 mask. She got out of the tub, dried herself, and got dressed. She was still a little upset, because of her experience in the tub. She sighed, took her jacket and headed out.
"I need a drink" – she thought. – "Today was more than I can handle. And I will call Logan later."
She got out of the apartment, not realizing that a letter fell from Rachel's journal, and on it ,words were written: "To Simon"...
I hurried to update, so I hope you like it. Review to help! Kiss, kiss
