What went wrong when I grew up? Nothing. A seamless black void surrounds me and here I am escaping it. Maybe I should wait until I grow up. Maybe not. Thinking is what makes people insane, nothing else. So is that what they protect us from? No, the consequences are what they hide from us, but we find them anyway. So who is to stop us? No one. They can't face that. I should stop typing this now… it's not worth you're reading. So I'll let you read my fanfic. Do I really sound that depressed or is it just me?
Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Some fancy rich people do, some people who will never experience life if they can help it, some people who will never read this and never care. Unless we try to make money off of it. Their money. This is my fun, you cannot take that away from me.
I crawled away from my hell
And I found my nirvana.
Don't take that away
Just let me stay
Don't hide me
Don't show me
Just let me stay
One night
One day
Then I'll be gone
Don't ask, I don't know what it is, it is just my typing. Or go ahead and ask, I don't care. You tell me what I'm writing!
AHAHAHAHAHA. That was so much fun! Ok, I'll stop with the depressed authors note. Hehehehe. I really hate what I just wrote. Hehehe. So here is my story, with fancy peoples characters:
3…
"Up lovebirds it's 11:30!"
I rolled over mumbling "No." I could feel someone beside me. "WHAT?" I looked at Robin and laughed. "How did you manage that one?"
"I got cold." Robin replied simply. I stood up, grabbing some clothes I went to take a shower.
"Get a blanket tonight."
"What's wrong with yours?"
"Nothing." I shut the bathroom door behind me and locked it. I turned on the shower. I stripped my clothes off and climbed in, the hot water piercing my skin. It felt good, but I didn't have time for it. I quickly washed and got out. I dried off and pulled on my leotard, my cape behind me. I opened the door to find Robin, sitting on the couch.
"I uh… don't have clothes."
"What do you want me to do?"
"I don't know… they are sitting in my old dresser in the underground place where you found me…"
"I can try to summon them. Open the window." Robin obliged and opened my window, I cringed at the light coming in. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" I chanted again and again until, a dresser was floating in front of Robin.
"Thanks." He said breathlessly. I nodded and left.
"You better hurry."
I sat down on the couch with a bowl of cereal. I ate it quickly. I used my powers to wash it.
"So how was last night?" Cyborg asked.
"You're beginning to sound like Beast Boy." I said in my monotone.
"So?"
"Yeah what's wrong with me?"
"Nothing."
"Be on your toes today Raven, we have to watch for Slade, Batman should contact us soon, he'll tell us how things are going at their camp. They'll come home in a week or so, and we'll figure out what to do from there."
I nodded and left.
"Hellooo…" Robin said, trying to sound seductive. He was lying on the couch reading.
"What are you doing?"
"Waiting for you."
I glared at him. "We don't have time."
"Just one kiss."
"Fine."
He turned me around to face him and pulled me towards him. "One kiss." He kissed me, like last night. I had to try not to crumple into his arms.
See doesn't it feel good?
"Mmmm."
"I thought so." He looked at me. His mask was back on now.
"I liked last night… with your mask off."
"It doesn't matter." He turned away.
"Your eyes are beautiful. Why do you hide them?"
"You are beautiful Raven, I am not." He looked at me.
"I don't care, I love you anyways, you were Slade's apprentice and I loved you still. Do not think eyes will stop that. I love your eyes Robin, I love you. Looks matter nothing."
He smiled wearily.
"Don't speak." I said, and smiled back at him. He pressed his lips to mine.
He pulled away and silence filled the room.
OoOoO In the Living Room/Family Room/ Reck Room/ whatever you call itoOoOoO
"We have to watch for them today, we cannot be distracted. One Titan goes out at a time." Robin said.
The others nodded.
"That makes sense."
"We have to be on high-alert, they may not be coming at sunset, and Slade may have changed the time. We just need to be careful."
Cyborg nodded. He and Robin walked off to discus tactics.
"I'm going to… train." Starfire said. I froze.
"What?" I asked. No… she couldn't, where was the Starfire I knew?
"I said I was going to go train."
"Why?" I was panicking, I didn't know why, just the thought of her training out of her own will… She had changed. I missed the naïve Starfire, before Robin and I kissed for the first time, before everything.
"Because Raven, we've all changed, and we all need to accept we're at war. I need to prepare."
"Starfire- wait!"
"What Raven?"
I had nothing to say, no sarcasm, nothing but a sorrow so deep inside me I wanted to scream.
"I have to train." She left. Any hopes of us regaining ourselves left me. Even Beast Boy was somber.
"Training is good, I need to work on animal combat, what to do. I'll use the tape Superman gave me."
I walked to the roof, I could meditate there.
I chanted my words, but I still wasn't at peace. Who was the cold dark person that was Starfire? Starfire who had hated me, but welcomed me when I had come back. Starfire who I trusted so… The Starfire who forgave me. I glared out at the lake. "YOU DID THIS TO ME!" I screamed at it. Maybe if I hadn't gone after Aqualad… maybe if Terra could just resist… Maybe if I wasn't weak! My screaming hatred for the world could do nothing for me, we had to fight. I had to be ready, I had to… train.
I spent my afternoon at the gym, and some resting. I took one last blow at the punching bag, which was in shreds, and left to go medidtate.
As the sun was beginning to hide behind the lake, the alarm went off. "Come on, they're here." Cyborg's voice was hateful as it rang out over the intercom. I rushed out to the front gate. I leaped over it as the others stayed behind. I floated in the air and screamed. "AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!" Hate rang out across the field of drones, killing a good amount. Crumpling into a heap they fell. The gate opened and Cyborg's cannon fired relentlessly, Starbolts behind it. Robin fired bird-a-rang after bird-a-rang, some exploding, some not. It seemed to take an eternity to get half of the robots down. I glared at them. "YOU DID THIS TO US!" I screamed. The others looked at me in question. But they had no time to ask. "AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" A wave of black slammed into the robots. I had four red slits for eyes and I was breathing heavily. "AZARATH, METRION, ZINTHOS!" Another wave, now I had done it. Night sunk in, and every robot fell, except one. I glared at it. Then, I lunged for it. I screamed and ripped it to pieces. "YOU DESERVE EVERY PIECE OF THIS! YOU HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING AWAY FROM ME, NOW YOU WILL PAY!" I cursed at the sky. "EVERYONE!" A large oak tree twisted into pieces. The water was slamming against the beach, and parts of the grass were ripping up. I chanted my words to myself and calmed down. The Titans were staring at me.
"What?"
"What did he take away from you?" Beast Boy asked.
"Look at yourselves, look what we have lost. I have things, I have Robin, and I have my friends, but we have all changed."
"No we haven't Rae, we're still…" I cut Cyborg off.
"Yes. We. Have." I glared at him.
"Fine."
I sighed and walked back inside. I heard Robin follow. I ignored him and walked to our room.
"Raven, what you said back there…"
"I know what I said! I don't care! Good night!"
"It's only 10:00!"
"I have been fighting robots for the past four hours. Good night." I turned away from him and stared at the wall. We both knew neither of us were going to sleep very soon. I heard Robin sigh and leave. I concentraited for a moment, and I was invisible. I was going to see just how much everyone had changed. First was Cyborg's room. I slipped through the door.
Inside was dark, computer equipment everywhere, and files on Slade. His room was dark and full of hate. A resentment so deep I had to struggle to remain under control. Cyborg like Robin had a hunger for killing Slade. I left his room, I needed to see no more. Cyborg was no longer the video-game loving person he was. He was obsessed with Slade, and was going to stop at nothing to find him. I shuddered and went to Beast Boy's room.
Sorrow and loneliness echoed around his room. He hated himself for losing Terra, he hated himself for letting her join, for brining everyone all of this. I looked around, his walls were barren, his floor empty, and his bed made. There was a TV in the corner, but I knew it wasn't used for entertainment. I sighed and went to Starfire's room.
There was no evidence of a fun loving alien here. Her room was tired and empty, only used for sleeping and changing her uniform. She had painted it white, everything in it was white, the furniture, the bed, the floor. A nothingness had settled over the room, Starfire too was alone and empty, using all of her time to defeat Slade. Her desk was piled with reports on him. He dresser even had paper on it. She had no make up, no jewelry, and no magazines. This was not Starfire. Suddenly the door opened and Starfire walked in. She stared at the mirror on her wall.
"Why… why can't I defeat them? Why are you so weak and worthless? You have to defeat Slade, be ready for him. Training will help you, then research. Then sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day…" Her voice was tired, she didn't sound like she believed a word she said, except for being weak and worthless. I wanted to call out to her, to tell her that it would be ok. But I couldn't, I remained invisible and floated out.
I could never reach out, I could never help. I could only break. I should not go where I am not wanted. I sighed and floated to the living room, Cyborg and Robin were talking. Beast Boy was walking down the hallway. Going to bed… I listened to Robin and Cyborg talk.
"She was amazing today." Robin said.
"I wonder what we would do if she wasn't on our team."
"We wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"Yeah, that's fo' sure."
They sat in silence for awhile, before Cyborg finally spoke up. "You love her don't you."
"More than anything, I'd do anything for her."
"You will have a good relationship in battle."
Everything had to relate to battle.
"It's more than battle." Robin said.
"I know, but for us at the moment, it isn't. Raven is right, we are no longer the Titans, we are hollow and empty. It is what we have to do though, we have no choice."
"Yeah… we all have changed, but we've all had to see a lot."
I knew Robin was referring to the jagged scars that ran down both of our arms, where Slade had taken a knife and dug into our skin, dragging it down leaving us to bleed in our own hate.
"We will have to see a lot more. Come on, get some rest Robin, it's late. I bet Raven is asleep and you can crawl in beside her."
"Yeah." The comment didn't even phase him. I floated to our room and laid down on the bed, showing myself just as he walked in.
I felt him climb in beside me. "Good night Raven." He whispered, and kissed me. I fell asleep soon after, thinking about what my friends had become, pulling Robin closer to me. I could feel him smile. You won't smile for long… you wouldn't if you knew what I just saw. I thought. He didn't hear me. I feel asleep, falling into my loneliness.
Ok… That was chapter three, obviously. It was shorter than I thought it was going to be. I am feeling depressed, I don't know why, so I hope it doesn't show to much. Please Review, they cheer me up greatly. Unless it's a flame, then expect something right back to you, hey a flame might help, I could use a yell at someone. This I something a really don't usually enjoy, and I refuse to cuss, so you'll be lucky. Anways, I hope you like it so far. Please Review! If you review, answer my question: do you read my authors notes at the beginning and end? If so tell me what you think of my babling, sometimes I get amusing answers when I ask this, I just wanted to know. So thanks, and REVIEW/ANSWER MY STUPID QUESTION!
