Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction :)

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To Starr Light1 – don't worry, this is TOTALLY going to be M/A story. I just have to keep thing interesting.

To ganstagrl452 – You have the right for your own opinion. This is my first story, so I'm just improvising as I go along.

To Katherine – I LOVED your review. You just keep on thinking out loud! :)

To ontheDL – thanks for your reviews, make suggestions if you want, love to hear them

And to lakergirl – thanks for your compliments. Keep on!

Well, here's chapter 4.

Chapter 4 – Deciding the right thing

Max entered Crash trying to find OC. She needed to apologize for her earlier outburst. But, instead of OC, she saw him. Alec was sitting at the bar, staring into his glass of whiskey. She could tell he was there for quite some time. She froze on the steps, not knowing should she face him or not. So,she stood on the steps for couple of seconds, took a long look at him, her face showing pain, than turned around and left.

"I can't see him right now..." – she thought and headed out. She got out of the Crash, pushing some people aside on of her way out. There she was, great X5 soldier, and she was just plain scared.

"What the hell is wrong with me? – she thought, appearing ridiculous even to herself. She leaned against the wall, dark hiding her features. She took a deep breathe, enjoying the way wind blew against her face. She closed her eyes, but Rachel's words kept haunting her. "He told me liked me...we kissed...I told him I loved him...."She kept thinking about his and Rachel's connection and wondered will Alec ever be able to get over her. She heard people talking, so she opened her eyes, and tried to decide what to do next. Should she go home, or should she head back to Crash. Instead, a thought occurred to her. "I haven't seen Logan all day. And, maybe there was something important happening in the city. I could use some distraction. "

So, she got on her motorcycle, and took the road toward Logan's house. She stepped into the building, but stopped on the front steps. "What if he's not home, or what if Asha is there. I can't go through that now." So, she decided to call first. All that prying today made her more careful. She took her cell phone and dialed Logan's number.

"Hello? – he said, his voice hoarse.

"Hi, it's me. Just checking in."

"Oh, Max, hey...I was worried about you. Haven't heard from you all day. – Logan said, trying to define what is that he hears in Maxes voice. – "You sound strange. Is everything OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just....tired." – she sighed, wondering if should she tell him she's just a couple of floors away. – "What did you need before?"

"Before?...Oh, when I paged you. I need to talk to you about Alec. – he said.

Her heart skipped.

"Alec? What about Alec?" – it seemed as as much as she was trying to push him aside, his name just kept popping up.

"I saw him today and he didn't seem OK. Almost as he was ,well, crying." – Logan remembered that sight. Something he would swear he will never see.

Max just sighed and felt bad. She was to blame for that. Her scent must have triggered his memories.

"So...what do you need from me?"

"Well, I thought maybe you could talk to him. I mean, we still need him on our side, and I'm afraid that all this what's happening could have some negative effect on him. He's still not adjusted to the real world enough."

"Great. Now he wants me to talk to him, and all I want to do is avoid him..." – she thought.

"Well, I could talk to him, but I don't know what good will that do. You know we're not like best budds. I don't think it's the best idea for me to meddle in Alec's life, you know?" – Max started to stammer.

Logan took off his glasses, wondering what got into her. Sure, she and Alec didn't always find same ways, but she saved his life just days before. And he was always there for her. Even at Manticore.

"Well, maybe you could at least try?" – he said simply.

"Ahm....yeah, sure, I'll see what I could do." – she mumbled, deciding she's not going to tell him that she's in the building.

"Are you sure you're OK? You seem funny. You want me to come over?" – Logan asked, hoping she would say yes. Sure, he couldn't touch her, but he still loved the sight of her big brown eyes, and the way she looked at him.

"You know what, I think I will just call it a night and go to bed. Is that OK? I will visit you tomorrow." – she started to finish their conversation.

"Oh... OK, than, see you tomorrow, I guess. – he said disappointedly, but she already hung the phone.

"Something s wrong with her - Logan thought. He looked at his watch, idea occurring to him. "It's just 10 PM, and she doesn't even need sleep. I'll better go over there."- he concluded and stood up trying to find the car keys.

Max hung up the phone before she could hear Logan's last words. But that conversation got weirder by the second for her. "Why is he pushing me to talk to Alec about his problems? Like it's not enough that I know them already... all of them... " She sat on her ride, still thinking should she go back to Logan or back to Crash. She thought of Alec's sad look while he was sitting at the bar. "Maybe he really needs help...maybe I can help him.".

Her look got serious. With one move she started her motorcycle and headed off.

"I'm going back."

Alec sat at the bar drinking for at least two hours, but drink didn't have any effect on him. He was feeling specially alone tonight. He started to drink still thinking about Rachel, but also about Max. She can understand him. She's a Manticore product as well. She knows what he is and she treats him that way. But now she saw a different side of him. He was afraid he was going to lose her respect. And that mattered to him. His senses were still sharp,even after two hours drinking, so he could feel when Max entered the bar the first time, but he just prescribed it to his DNA.He thought she will come to him, but instead she left. "She probably took one look at poor me, and took off. Well, can't blame her. Nobody wants to be around miserable people."

While sitting there a couple of girls tried to get his attention, but he just bought them a drink and sent them on their way. He wasn't in the mood for company, or at least not that one. He took his cell phone out of his jacket, trying to decide should he call Max. But decided against. While he was there staring at the little screen, his senses sharpened.

"She's back."

Sooooo? Did you like it? Did you hate it? Anyways, I want to know. By the way, I already wrote 2 more very interesting chapters, but I want to hear how you liked this one first.

Kiss, kiss