Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to hit first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To ONTHEDL – Thanx again for your review! It really means a lot to me! I hope you liked this chapter. I was trying to get everything in it.

To KATHERINE – OK, first, I LOVED your review! Thanks a lot! I hope you'll find a few powerful moments in this chapter as well.

To Starr Light1 – I wasn't planning to be mean...It sort of popped up! Hope this won't disappoint you...:)

To MARSALI & KIM – Thanks for your reviews! Means a lot to me!

To A.K.A. Annabelle – I hope you'll find this chapter satisfying.

To THE CAT – I'm glad you decided to visit. Hope you liked the part with Alecs shirt. Trust me there will be a lot of moments with him taking his shirt off in the future. :)

On with Chapter 7!!!

Chapter 7 – Make me free...

Max didn't manage to find the strengh to look Alec in the eyes. Inside her lay the feeling like he will see right through her. She could feel his eyes trying to reach hers, but she just kept staring at his wet shirt, still trying to dry it off with her hands. She was so confused. With her feelings as well as his question. She also didn't has the answer to it. And that scared her. Her heart was beating hard, but she tried to find the inner strengh to look up and meet his stare, which got more penetrating with each second that went bye.

He, on the other hand, didn't understand sudden silence that possessed her.

"Why is she so quiet? What's wrong with her? Can I help? Does she want me to help..." – thousand thoughts ran through his head. – "And the closeness... oh, my God, the closeness. It's almost paralyzing. Come on, Alec, reach her, like she reached you..."

He needed to know the answer to the question why is she there with him... With him... There was no one before when he was in pain, when he needed comfort and now, there was her, making him feel better with just keeping him company. Her presence made him feel safe, and tonight when he saw her other side he felt even more touched. Her presence touched him. Her laughter touched him. And he hasn't seen her true laughter before. So he needed to know what happened. He needed to know that she won't go away...There was a difference in her behavior. Before he could only feel her meddling. It appeared to him that she was pretending to care only cause she felt it was her duty, like that was her mission here because she was longer in this outside world.

Not been able to reach her eyes, he reached her hands which were resting on his.

"Max?" – he gently said.

"I needed a friend." – she quickly said removing her hand from his in a second. And that was it. Not another word. He didn't want to push her, so he just kept looking at her. He was trying to see what was lying beneath her words. Was there a trick? But all he saw was some confusion and some pain as well.

"Well, you have him. "– he simply said, his hands trying to find hers, like he was trying to convince her. He touched her again, but than he was the one who removed his hands like something hit him. Things were beginning to change. Like those people in there, weren't them. The ones that entered the Crash that evening didn't exist anymore...

Max watched as he put his hands on hers again, feeling shivers going from her fingers, through her arms, and right into her heart. But than the feeling went away. She didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so she just said:

"Thanks....Ahm...I'm gonna hit the ladies room." – she needed some time alone.

She got up from the chair, heading toward the bathroom. When she got in, she closed the door behind her, approached the sink and just stared at her appearance in the mirror. She could see that she looked drained out, so she washed her face, trying to ease up a bit. But, thoughts kept rushing in her head. She leaned on the sink, letting hair fall on her face.

"What's happening to me?" – she asked herself. – "Why can't I just act normal around him? He's not stupid! Sooner or later he will find out something is off. He knows me. He knows how I usually treat him, and soon he will start to ask some questions. Serious questions, that is... But, I can't go back to where we were before I read Rachel's journal. Before I saw him at her dying bed, crying..." – she remembered that night, and she felt his pain inside her.

"He was so crushed, he still must be crushed...But I shouldn't be lying to him. He deserves to know the truth...about everything. I'll tell him. Now. " – she looked at herself with determination, but that look stayed there only for a second. Another thought went through her.

"He will me hate for it..."

She could almost see his reaction, anger in his eyes instead of the soft, gentle look that he gave her tonight. But there was something in her head that kept telling her that she shouldn't be keeping the truth from him.

"Maybe someday he will find the strengh to forgive me. Maybe he will be able to let go. But, for that I have to be honest with him. I've got to be honest."

She looked at her features in the mirror for the last time, before she headed outside to meet her destiny. She was almost trembling as she opened the door and got outside. She was trying to find him with her eyes, but suddenly she stood on her tracks. Determination vanished from her face and deeper feelings appeared.

Alec sat on his chair for a minute or so before getting up. He was too nervous to sit still, and not to mention wet. He looked around and in the corner he saw some old coat hanger, and on it hung someones black shirt. It appeared to be his size, so he took off his wet shirt, and dried himself with it. He put the shirt on, unconsciously lifting the collar up so his bar code wouldn't show. It was a little bit small around his waist, so he didn't button it up. He got back to the bar, took his drink and looked around. Crash looked different when there was no usual crowd inside. He started to walk around and suddenly his eyes fell on something familiar. He never noticed before, but there was a piano in the corner of the Crash, the uttermost part. He walked over gently running his fingers across it's features. His memories started to rush again, but he accepted them as he sat down. He put his drink aside as he inhaled deeply. He wanted to play, but his fingers were numb. He stared at them thinking how that can be. He closed his eyes, but image of Rachel kept haunting him. He wanted to play, he needed to play so he could face his past in u true way. He needed to say goodbye...

Max was looking at him while he was staring at his hands, feeling his pain. But there was another pain present. And that was her pain. Inside her. She knew why is he like that, because of who is he like that, and she felt helpless.

"His mind is focused only on Rachel and I can't do nothing about that. " – she thought sadly. She kept staring at him and his inner struggle, trying to decide what she should do.

"Should I just leave him be? He wouldn't even notice me gone..."

But, instead she took a deep breathe, and started to approach him. There was something inside her telling her that she shouldn't leave. The same thing that made her come back to Crash tonight. The same thing that awoke in her that night she saw his true side. The same thing she once felt for Logan...the same thing she would never admit. Not even to herself, and especially not to Alec.

She stood beside him, not saying a word. And he just kept staring at his hands.

"Is everything OK?" – she asked gently, not wanting to startle him. He slowly looked up at her, and without a word showed her that she can sit down beside him. Max sat down, not feeling very comfortable, and she realized he changed his shirt. His abs were showing and she kept glaring at them trying not to seem to obvious. Suddenly, Alec put his fingers on the piano keys, took a deep breath, and started to play. It was a soft melody, and Max was just watching his fingers move over the keys. He played beautiful, so she couldn't help but wonder wasn't that one of the songs he played for Rachel.

Like he knew what she was thinking, he said:

"I used to play this in Manticore, when no one was around. I had access to the music room, so I spent my time there. "

"Did you play a lot?" – she asked pretending not to know every single detail of his mission with Rachel.

"I can't tell him now..." – she thought.

He stopped playing and looked up at her. It was like he was deciding whether to tell her or not.

"Yeah, I played a lot. I was pretending to be the great musician and the piano teacher when I met Rachel. That was my disguise." – he laughed bitterly, thinking how that disguise got him to act more like his true nature was.

She saw it was hard for him to talk about it, so she decided not to push it.

"Well, you play beautiful. You should do it more often." – she simply said. His eyes were thanking her for everything; not making him to talk about his past, and for being there.

"Well, Maxie, than this one is just for you!" – he smiled at her and started to play another soft melody, now more concentrated on his playing than on his memories. And that broke him free. He was amazed by that in a way. He played, and felt content about that.

Max listened to this song thinking how he must feel now. She thought his mind was focused only on Rachel, and she tried to accept that.

When he stopped playing, he looked at her, again piercing her eyes, and her soul.

"Did you like it?"

"Of course I did" – she said, but thinking – "Rachel must have loved it too."

"I'm glad, cause I just made it up." – he smiled and looked down. –

"It was for you." – he whispered.

Air suddenly got more thicker for both of them and made them hard to breathe. They were sitting next to each other, only their clothes touching, and yet, they both felt like they were melting in each other. But, not one of them wanted to move, not knowing what the reaction of the other will be.

Max looked down, feeling very confused. She wanted to touch him. Little voice inside her head kept telling her: "Come on, Max, touch him... Take his hand in yours, intertwine his fingers with yours... Touch them. They just played you a song. Just for you. Thank him for that..."

Alec kept looking at her, also too scared to move. He wanted to feel her even closer. She released him tonight. on, stroke her hair... You want to stroke her hair. What if she doesn't want that? What if she runs away? " – was his inner debate. He kept traversing over her face features; her dark brown hair, her dark brown eyes which had a certain sparkle tonight, her full lips...his observations stopped on her lips. They were so full, so tempting for him, but he knew he can't cross that line. Never mind the temptation.

He was too preoccupied by his observations, he didn't see her hand move. Her hand slowly started to move toward his, like he would brake if she would touch him. Pausing right before the touch she caught his eyes. His green eyes. That was the signal for her, that she should proceed. She gently laid her hand on his, and his look changed. Her fingers slowly intertwined with his, like the right key would fit into the right lock. His eyes never left hers. He felt her grip tighten like there was a possibility that he would run away. And he would never do that. To ensure her, he tightened his grip also.
They never said a word, both scared that that will break their connection. Alec started to come closer, his eyes finding her lips again. Unconsciously, she licked them, inspiring Alec to come even closer.

But suddenly, loud noise startled them. It was the banging on the door.

"Max, are you in there? – voice said.

"Logan." – Max said as she broke the connection and her hands left Alecs's...

So? Like? Don't like? Let me know!!! Next chapter coming up soon. I promise! Review, make suggestions!