Well… Chapter 10. You asked for it. Oh, and at some point in this chapter I'm going to lose the whole Nightwing thing… heh… I don't know why exactly, it's more of a 'hey, why not?' kind of thing.

10…

I glared at them all. Batman, WonderWoman, Superman, Catwoman, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Nightwing. I ignored their attempted comforts. It was not ok. I didn't care what they said right now. Cyborg had always been there, through thick and thin. And now he wasn't. All because of Slade. This didn't seem to phase the others, they seemed to feel good about themselves. Only because we won the battle! But we lost Cyborg!

"Come on Raven cheer up, it'll be ok!" Beast Boy said, "Besides, we won!"

"Won what? A battle? You call that winning? We did not win! We lost! We lost Cyborg! We lost a part of ourselves! That's not winning."

"Raven, we have defeated more of Slade's army, that's what matters right now." WonderWoman said. I glared at her, suddenly the TV exploded.

"That. Is. Not. What. Matters." I growled. "Battle. Is. Not. Everything. I WILL NOT LET YOUR WEAKNESSES TAKE ME!"

WonderWoman was just about to open her mouth when Superman stopped her.

"Don't." He said. "It will just make things worse."

"I'm going to medidtate." I grumbled.

"Raven, wait!" Nightwing ran to catch up with me.

"What?" I snapped.

"I'm… sorry. Cy was close to me too… I know-"

"You know how I feel? NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL!"

"I didn't mean that! I mean… I'm here."

"I know you're here, you're everywhere I go! You haunted me for a whole year, believe me, you are here."

"What do you mean?"

"I dreamed about you guys, I did miss you, at points."

"Let's go talk down at the lake, it'll be easier."

I nodded. "Fine."

We were sitting staring out at the open water, watching the moon rise.

"I didn't want to come back. I should have just flown away! Slade could have found me and we wouldn't of had this battle, and Cyborg would still be alive."

Nightwing had been leaning on my shoulder. His head suddenly jerked up. "Don't blame yourself for this Raven, it isn't your fault. Even I have outgrown blaming myself."

It was true, Nightwing was open to letting someone else take the blame instead of bashing his head against a wall until someone was able to drill through his skull it wasn't his fault.

We sat in silence for awhile.

"I told you about Mike." I said bluntly.

"Yes…"

"I told you it was he who led me to Slade. He pretended to take me on a 'surprise date' and led me to one of Slade's hideouts. I was tortured, he tried to make me his apprientice," I paused, "Again."

"Where is he?" Nightwing growledd.

"He's dead. He served his purpose for Slade."

Nightwing relaxed a little. "Sorry I just…"

I let a small smile show on my face. "Just what Nightwing?"

"Nothing." He said, trying to cover the fact that he was blushing.

I smiled to myself. How Boy Wonder cheered me up was still a mystery to me, one that I wouldn't solve, but he managed to. He didn't fill up the hole Cyborg had left. He didn't put back together my shattered heart. He couldn't begin to understand what a year of solitude could do to a person. He didn't understand the pain I went through every night. No, he could never fill those wounds, not all the way. The painful memories will always be open gashes in my skin. No one could help me with those wounds. They will remain. I knew it, and he knew it. Even if no one wanted to face it.

"Raven…" He started.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry… about… this year. I promise, next year, next year will be better."

"Promises aren't always kept. Didn't we promise nothing would go wrong once?"

He looked at me, a look of sorrow not even his mask could hide. "Yes." Bitterness edged his voice. "We did." He pulled me into a hug, which I returned. "We did…" He whispered, more to himself than me. (I'm doing flashbacks in italics now)

Flashback

"Rae- oh Robin and Raven, sorry, I'll come back." Cyborg said, laughing.

Robin pulled his lips from mine. "Yes Cyborg?" He asked.

"Well… we are supposed to be training, not against a wall with Raven, unless of course this is part of some course that I don't know of. In that case, yo' Bee!"

"Hah, hah. Fine. We'll start then."

"I didn't think you were the type to give up training! But I guess guys will do anything to keep a girl that doesn't smack them upside the head and call them a pervert every five minutes."

End Flashback

I tried to stop thinking about Cyborg, but at least better thoughts haunted me, the times I had enjoyed. The times I wouldn't feel again.

"It's OK Raven…"

I'd almost forgotten whose shoulder I was leaning on.

"No matter how many times you say that it is not, and will not, be okay."

The Boy Wonder sighed. "I'm sorry…" He whispered.

I looked at him. "For what?"

"For… for changing."

"Changing? None of us can help that, I know it. I just… hate it."

"But I changed the most Raven, I'm surprised you can't see it."

"You just changed your name. You just wanted to feel better about yourself. You have not changed. You are still Robin."

"You're right. I shouldn't try to grow up to fast, it's just once you left I was depressed and…"

"Don't finish."

"Robin. I'm Robin. Not Nightwing. Robin."

"Star will be happy."

"Yes, she hates Nightwing." Robin agreed.

"She loves Robin." I said.

He sighed. "I know. But," He turned to me, "I love you. And… if I was just stronger, then things would be better right now, things would have been better then. We could have defeated Slade if we had been a team!"

"Robin, don't blame yourself." If we are pointing fingers then I should be blamed, I knew I couldn't have him then, if I just hadn't reached out…

"You're right." He stood up and offered a hand to me. I took it and we walked back to the tower.

"I'm going to get it when we get back up there." I mumbled.

"No, you're not. They've had a chance to calm down."

I nodded, wishing I could believe him.

But I couldn't. I knew it, he knew it. They wouldn't cool down, they hated my outbursts. At least they weren't as bad as they used to be, as I grow older I seem to control my emotions more.

"Looks like the birds are back." WonderWoman said. I knew she didn't like me, I just wished she didn't have to show it so much.

"Yes." I said. "We're back."

What have you been doing? I could just hear Cyborg's voice coming to save us from the cruel rantings of whoever was in the room.

"After insulting us, the running out on us, I hope your feel much better." WonderWoman said.

"Yes, we're fine." Robin said.

"Where's the TV?" I asked, ignoring WonderWoman.

"Yeah… uhm… We're not getting a new one. It's not like we need it or anything."

"WHAT?" I yelled. A window cracked and the couch was floating in the air.

"You want the TV or something Raven?" Beast Boy asked.

"NO!" I sighed and set the couch back down. "I want the Titans back!"

"What are you talking about Raven! Stop talking about us like that! We're still here!"

"Cyborg would agree!" I was falling into hysterics and I knew it. I needed to calm down.

"Don't talk about Cyborg." Beast Boy growled. He was shaking. "I don't want to hear it!"

I backed up. I had never seen Beast Boy do that… and I never wanted to again.

"Raven." I felt Robin's hand on my shoulder. "Calm down."

I CAN'T! I needed his help… I crumpled to the floor screaming, my emotions spiraling out of my control.

"RAVEN CALM DOWN!" WonderWoman's voice was faint.

"YOU'RE YELLING WON'T HELP HER!" Robin's voice was also far away.

Raven, calm down!

I can't!

Yes… Breathe!

She needs love right now, not help, love. Knowledge glared at the figure of Robin that was now standing in Raven's mind.

Love?

Love. You love her, she needs you. They show her now love, and now that Cyborg is gone…

What do you mean Cyborg?

He was like a brother to her. Knowledge went on patiently.

Right…

I felt two strong arms pick me up… I was confused. I couldn't wake up! Nevermore was out of my control. I heard doors creak and break as we walked past, vases shatter, and cries of hatred behind us. Robin had been in my mind, I knew that much. He had been there to help me. Now where were we going?

My question was answered when I felt soft summer winds stroke my face, and Robin's hands.

"Raven… please."

Kiss her! Knowledge demanded.

I… she doesn't want me!

She DOES!

Lips were pressed to mine, pulling me closer. I felt calm… easy… relaxed. Things stopped exploding, just floating… I was managing to reign my emotions in.

"Raven?" Robin whispered.

I looked at his masked eyes, my amethyst eyes searching for an answer. He pulled me into a hug. I fell into his chest and did the last thing either of us expected. I cried. Robin wrapped his arms even tighter around me. I buried my face in his chest, just crying.

"Oh Raven, I'm sorry…" He stroked my hair affectionately.

"It's not your fault." I managed to get out. "It's just… all of them… changing… WonderWoman pulling them away, to… to a more serious side. They all used to be so fun loving. Cyborg was starting to see my point before… before…" I was crying again, back onto his chest, hidden behind his embrace. Feeling his sorrow, his anger, his understanding. I wondered where I would be right now if I hadn't connected to him, if I hadn't gotten enough sense to ask him for help.

"WonderWoman doesn't mean too, it's just how she is. She's going through a tough time right now, she'll be back to normal soon."

Normal. At least she could be normal.

Don't think that! You are perfect the way you are, and you arent' abnormal.


Oh, it's just everyone else that is different, I'm really the normal one.

Who cares?

Happiness shined its was into our minds. I don't.

I don't. I love you Raven.

Do you?

I do. I love you with everything.

I love you Robin.

We sat and looked at the moon, Robin managed to snake his arm around my waist. I had to admit to myself I didn't mind.

Well, chapter 10. It's shorter than it was going to be, but oh well. I apoligize for the sap! Forgive me… please…

Well REVIEW! And… TELL ME WHY YOU LIKE IT! thank you Raven-Fieryblack, you rock! And all of my other reviewers!

I'LL HAVE AN UPDATE SOON I PROMISE! Don't hurt meee! I uh… just have to figure out what to do. EHEHEHEHE! I suppose I should bring Slade back in the picture… Anywas… review, review, and of course, review!