Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now... A/M

To KATHERINE - I think your e-mail won't show because of the security. But, you can write me an e-mail. My mail is showing. And, thanks again for the review! And considering the letter, you will know everything in the next chapter which is already done.

To ONTHEDL - I wrote your bety a letter, but she didn't reply, so I posted this chapter like it is.

To WILLOW98002 - Don't worry, Alec will realize everything very soon.

To LUVSPIKE/ALEC - Thanks for your review! I agree, they do look great together! Hope to hear from you again.

To SGOU - It was time (in my imagination) for Max to let Logan go, so I'm glad that you agree. The letter - in the next chapter , and the whole one.

To The Pizzaman - I know what you mean about Logan. Who wouldn't feel sorry for him, he did lose his girl. And, unfortunatly, I don't have Alec of my own, but there is one guy who can fit that description (you know, the one who takes care of everything)

To LAKERGIRL08 - Logan is a do-gooder, isn't he? I didn't want him to fall of his role.Hope to hear from you again. Oh, yeah, if english is your first language, can you help with the mistakes? You can send me an e-mail. Thanks.

Chapter 10 – Goodbye...

Max looked straight into his cold, dark eyes and got scared. This was not the same Alec who was with her the entire night. This was not Alec she almost kissed. This was his 494 cover, and she was not used to seeing him like this. Of course she saw him fight before, but he was never this angry at her. She leaned down to pick up the letter and she decided it was time to tell the truth. The entire truth. The one about the letter and her feelings as well. She said goodbye to Logan and she was ready to welcome another person in her life. But his eyes were stopping her. She knew Alec was long gone. This person here wouldn't understand. He had the same look like when he attacked Joshua in his place by mistake. He was dangerous. His eyes changed when Logan came and she thought that's the reason he was acting like this.

"Come on, Max, you can do it. Tell him the truth, release you both. He probably thinks you're still in love with Logan. That's why he's angry. You need to tell the truth." – she remembered Logan's words.

Alec was looking at her, not even blinking when she picked up the letter. She was in no position to run away and he knew it. It was time to roll the dices.

"Well, she's awfully quiet now. I wonder what lie will she make up now. She became an expert." – Alec thought sarcastically. He was ready for that. He even planned the entire scenario. Max will tell him how the letter is not for him and he will except that. He won't even ask another question about the letter. He will tell her how he has to go and how the entire night was one big mistake. That, they should communicate only in business level. That was it. Scenario in his head, the one thing he was prepared to. But, he wasn't quite prepared to hear the truth.

And than Max spoke.

"Yes, it's for you." – she whispered as she handed him the letter.

For a second his eyes glanced not understanding what was happening. This was not the scenario in his head. He was supposed to have the last word. And now, she pushed him of his tracks.

He took the letter very slowly trying not to touch Max's hand. It was his time to act, cause Max didn't know he heard anything. In his head he didn't even want to read the letter. He said goodbye before and he didn't want to go back.

"Well, what is it?" – he asked trying to sound as convincing as possible.

Max felt her throat shrink. She was on the verge of tears, cause she knew that every word that will come from her mouth will hurt Alec.

"It's a letter for you." – she stopped taking a deep breath. – "It's from Rachel."

She looked at him expecting some reaction, but he just kept staring into the words written on the envelope: To Simon, To Simon, To Simon...He was staring at them realizing he doesn't feel like that letter was really for him. Rachel didn't know the real Alec, so this can't be for him. But, still, it was. Another minute went by and he still didn't move.

Max kept watching his face trying to read him, but there was no emotion on it. Just his mask.

"Say something." – she simply said.

He looked at her and saw her eyes water. That affected him, but he was in no mind to show her that.

"What do you want me to say? Ha?" – he asked.

"I don't know...say anything. Say that you want to know how I got it. Tell me anything!" – she was raising his voice and that made him angry.

"Who does she think she is?!" – he thought. – "She's the one who cant' let anyone alone, she's the one who made a mistake and she's yelling at me?"

"I don't need to know how you got it, 452! – he yelled back, purposely calling her 452. – "You were trained to do that! You were trained to mess with people's lives!"

"Don't call me that." – she said hoarsely. – "I have a name, I have a life..."

"No, you don't have a life or you wouldn't meddle in mine!" – he yelled back.

"That was not your life Alec, that was just a disguise!" – she was in no condition to hold back. That was not his true life and she had to make him realize that.

"What do you know?!? But, than again, who would know any better about disguises than you? You're acting all the time. Is anything about you real? Or do you keep acting, with OC, Logan, me..."

"I'm not acting! This is me! Everything about me is real! I'm real! – she started hitting him, expecting him to fight back, but he just stood there receiving the punches.

"Why are you not saying anything? Why won't you fight back? You hate me? Than hit me! Here's your chance!" – she wanted to fight because that was the most easiest way to deal with problems.

Alec closed his eyes, cause he wasn't able to watch her break. His pride didn't let him fall back either.

"No, MAX, I don't hate you. I don't feel anything toward you right now." – he lied calmly. He placed the letter in his pocket, got his jacket and headed toward the door.

Max started to breath heavily thinking how that hurts her the most. Hate is some emotion. It means that you care enough to hate someone, but, he just told her he doesn't feel anything and that was the most painful hit she ever received. Wounds heal, but this words will make a permanent scar that will hurt forever.

He turned back for the last time and asked:

"Did you read it?"

She looked at him seeing painful emotions on his face but she didn't know was that from her keeping a secret from him, or because he received a letter form Rachel.

"No, I didn't read it." – she said, telling the truth cause she really didn't read the letter.

He didn't say a word. He buttoned his jacked, opened the door, and left.

Max watched at the door thinking how two most important men in her life left her by walking through that door.

When she ended up alone, she heard her mind speak.

"They're both gone. You lost one because of another, and you lost the other because of yourself... I don't have anything now." – she felt empty inside so she took her jacket and the keys from the bar. She walked up the stairs taking her time. Approaching the door she glanced across the bar for the last time. Her look stopped on the piano as she recalled the moment between her and Alec. She felt instant warmth inside, but that feeling went away as soon as she remembered the rest that happened. She opened the door, got outside and locked the door. She found the barrel that she needed to hide the key, and than she left toward her motorcycle. Deep down inside, she expected to find Alec's bike still parked at the same place, but it wasn't. There was only dust where it was once parked. She sat on the bike, her face showing nothing, but as soon she started it, she let herself cry. For the first time after a long time. The sound of her baby let her cry without anyone hearing it. But, that wasn't necessary for Alec who stood a couple of meters away. He watched her cry feeling her pain inside of him. His pride was telling him not to reach her, but his heart was telling him to go over there and hold her. Despite the wishes of his heart he just stood there, feeling his eyes water as well. There they were, both crying, not knowing about the others feelings. Their tears were the same like they were both the same, right for each other

Max wiped her tears off, and looked at the distance. And with one move she was gone leaving Crash and Alec in the same place. She drove very fast, not knowing where she was going. She needed some time alone, but she needed to take care of something before. She arrived in front of her apartment thinking how OC is with her new girl. She unlocked the door and got in. Walking in the dark she found Rachel's diary that she hid before. She squeezed it in her arms and decided one very important thing.

She entered her bedroom and she found her old bag. She started to throw her clothes inside, not caring if it will wrinkle. She made quite a noise, but didn't care. Suddenly, the lights went on, and there was OC standing at the door.

"Boo, what the hell are you doing in the middle of the night?" - OC asked.

Max looked at her friend with a determination in her eyes.

"I'm leaving Seattle."

SO? Any thoughts about this chapter? Let me know please!