33.
Slade, or Deathstroke, or Deathstroke the Terminator, or whoever he really was, had Robin by the scruff of the shirt, and quickly punched him hard on the chin.
"There's something I need to tell you, too, Slade," Robin said through clenched teeth, struggling against Slade's grip.
"Oh really, boy..." Slade drew him close, so their faces were inches apart, "...and what is that?"
"Just a second ago, when you were telling me about being an assassin, I did a very bad thing." Slade's one eye wavered for a moment, before regaining its composure.
"What would that be, Boy Wonder?"
"I put a bomb in your belt." Slade looked down, in time to see the small metallic object wedged next to his hip.
"...Clever."
POW!
It went off, sending Robin flying out of Slade's grasp. It was low yield, certainly not enough to kill Slade, but enough to burn him, maybe hurt him real bad. Robin wasn't sure how much armour Slade was wearing, but it was probably enough to get him through more than that.
Robin stood, and assumed a fighting stance.
Slade was slow to get up, and when he did, it was with a hand clamped to his side. Robin could see dribble's of blood coming from between Slade's fingers, and knew that his little explosive had taken a good bite out of Slade's flesh.
"That was good, Robin, very good," Slade sounded as if her were on the verge of coughing up a lung. "But do you think it will stop me?" He broke into a run, lunging at the boy.
"No, I didn't think that," Robin said, dodging the attack. His voice was cool, and it was then that anyone around him would have known that, yes, he was indeed's The Batman's protege. His voice came out of his head like he'd spent the past eight hours relaxing in front of the television, not fighting for his life. "What I thought was that there was no way I could beat you, not unless I gave you a weakness." Robin ducked a punch, and brought his fist into Slade's side, right where his fingers were covering what must have been a horrible wound. Slade screamed in pain as white hot lightning coursed through his body. "What I needed," Robin continued, adding a powerful kick to the same spot, "was an advantage. Now I have it!" Slade was on his knees, gasping for air. Robin cocked his fist and drove it into Slade's face. His fist connected with Slade's thick metal mask, broke it into pieces, and then went right on going into Slade's nose. The loud, sharp pop told both of them that the nose was broken.
Slade yelled in pain again. He could not believe what was happening. He didn't think for one second that he could be bested by this boy, but that was exactly what was happening. He wrenched the remains of his mask from around his head, and let the blood drain from his nose for a moment.
"You...you...killed my son!" He screamed without looking up.
"Your son died, but I didn't do it! Something went wrong with his body, it wasn't me or any of the Titans!"
"AHHHHH!" Slade moved too fast for Robin, he landed another punch and sent Robin to the ground. Painfully, Slade stood.
Lightning lashed across the sky, illuminating the area and for the first time Robin saw Slade's face. White hair, and a patch over his right eye, with a white goatee on his chin. He looked like a grizzled Army Captain.
"I don't care how it happened, he was in battle with you when it did. His mission was to kill the Titans, now I intend to finish that contract. I've killed one, now I will kill you, too!" Rain continued to pour, covering them both in water and mud. It was in this mud that Slade's next step slid out from under him, giving Robin the chance he needed. He planted his arm on Slade's shoulder and vaulted over him. When he landed, Slade turned just in time to eat another kick, square into his broken nose.
"You killed Starfire, for that, Slade, you'll pay!" Robin moved quickly, delivering blow after blow, focussing on the face and his wounded right side. Slade was no longer capable of avoiding the attacks, and was getting pummelled. Robin didn't care how bad he hurt Slade at that point, the one thing that kept running through his head was 'comatose is still alive, people in wheelchairs are alive. The blind, the deaf, they're all very much alive. Slade deserves worse than them, I WILL GIVE IT TO HIM NOW!'
"You can't kill me, boy, I know what pitiful vows you have taken," Slade said through the pain and the punches.
"Don't worry, you'll live, I intend to see you behind bars, Slade." Robin said. It was true, he intended to see just that. Of course, what he wanted to see was Slade's head on a pike, and a gravestone which said 'Here lies Slade, murdering Bastard, loathed by all'.
He threw a few more punches, and Slade finally recovered, he caught Robin's arm and drove his fist into Robin's elbow, forcing it in the completely wrong direction. There was a dry snap and Robin cried out. He knew immediately that the arm was broken.
"That was one bone, boy. Only a couple of hundred to go." Slade smiled maniacally. The pain going through Robin's arm was nothing short of apocalyptic, and not only that but the arm was now totally useless. It hung limply at his side, throbbing like a heartbeat.
It was then Robin made his mind up to end this fight, and do so the only way he could see to end it. He saw Slade charging out of the corner of his eye, and removed a boomerang from his belt.
"Say hello to your girlfriend for —"
His next words were stopped as Robin drove the point of his boomerang into Slade's chest, right side. Robin thought he might be puncturing a lung, and when it burst out of Slade's back, he thought maybe he might have paralysed him. He didn't much care, though. Slade slumped over Robin, supported only by the boy, and the boomerang lodged in him.
"You...said you wouldn't...kill...me..." Robin wrenched the boomerang around, Slade's good eye opened wide, in surprise and pain. There were a couple of little snaps, and a river of blood ran over Robin's hand.
"You're not dead yet, Slade." Robin let go of the boomerang, and Slade crumpled to the ground. Robin walked away, rain still pounding, his arm in a world of hurt, and never once did he turn back to see his handiwork. That chapter was now closed, and he was fearing the next one more than anything he'd ever feared in his life.
34.
The Titans had gathered in a little group, and looked like they were huddling for warmth. Batman knew better though, they were leaning on each other like that because they weren't sure if they could stand on their own. Batman had seen it before, grief, if nothing else, made one weak in the knees for days. He was more than willing to leave them to their grief, too (he was certainly not an authority on that subject), but he was waiting for Robin to come back. Whn the rain began, the Titans all moved under a small wooden shelter, which must have served some function to the mine, but Batman couldn't decide what. He just stood there, in the pelting rain, waiting, like a monolith.
Then he saw Robin round the dirt pile, and walk around the mine. He was holding his arm, and judging by its mobility, it was broken. Batman walked over to him.
"Are you alright?"
"Fine." Robin said without up or stopping.
"Where's Slade?"
"He's still back there. I think he needs an ambulance." Batman stopped walking, but Robin didn't. Robin kept walking until he was out of sight, and only then did Batman put a call in to the Justice League, who transported Slade up to the League's Orbiting satellite, where they had the right facilities for dealing with near dead asshole's. Batman could tell by the way Robin walked, how he looked, that he didn't care if Slade lived or died, but had shown great restraint in not killing him.
There's hope for that boy yet, he thought.
35.
That night, Robin kept right on walking until he got tired of his arm hurting, and sought medical attention. That allowed the Titans to catch up to him at the hospital, where they all intended to stay just long enough for Robin to be dealt with, then go home to the Tower, and not come out for a very long time.
"Did you kill him?" Raven asked, as a man named Doctor Robinson layed strips of plaster cast on Robin's arm.
"No," Robin replied, without looking up.
"...pity."
The team were milling around a sterile hospital room, as Robin was seen to, the doctor could tell they were all restless, like they wanted to jump out of their own skin. The way the one in the cloak had her arms wrapped loosely around herself, the doc could tell she was suffering behind that emotionless face.
"Well, there you go, my boy. You need to keep this cast on for at least six weeks."
"I'll make it two," Raven said, turning around but not bearing any feeling on her face. Somehow, the doctor believed her.
"Let's go guys, we're done here." Robin got up off the poorly padded examining table he'd been sitting on. The doctor wanted to say something to the group, who looked like they were about to go on a three year tour in Vietnam, not to their oddly shaped home. He wanted to say something but there was nothing to say. If there was anyone who was familiar with the look of grief, it was him, he'd been responsible for so many people having that look, the slackening of all the muscles in the face, the red rimmed eyes, the little shakes now and then, it was all there. He decided to let them go, there was simply nothing he could do.
They walked solemnly back to Cyborg's car, all of them with their head down, and similar thoughts zipping through each one of them. Where do you go to pick up the pieces of a shattered life? What do you say to make the hurt go away? Is there a way to forget? No, they thought, they would never forget.
"So what do we do now?" Raven said. Though many would have said it was impossible, she actually sounded more depressing than usual.
"Do we keep going?" Cyborg asked.
"What, you mean quit? Disband the Titans?" Beast Boy asked, his voice raising in what must have been protest.
"No, we can't do that. Starfire would not have wanted that." Robin said. There was conviction in his voice, but no emotion.
"So what do we do, then?" Raven asked again. She knew that no one had an answer for her, she didn't have one herself, but she needed to ask, needed to find out. Really, she needed another distraction.
"We go home, and we mourn." Robin said simply.
It seemed like the only thing they could do. The only thing any of them wanted to do. It was the first time they could ever remember winning the good fight, and not feeling good about it. Instead of euphoria, there was only an empty feeling, a hopelessness, and most of all, pain. Pain for their loss, and pain for what they were now forced to endure. Robin looked out of the window with his head propped up on one hand, Raven sat with her hands in her lap, contemplating the floor beneath her feet. Beast Boy didn't know what to do, for the first time in a long time he felt uncomfortable in simply being. Every breath he drew in was harder to push back out. As he felt a tear loose from his eye and trickle down his cheek, he happened a glance at Raven (he could only see the back of her head and her shoulders from where he sat), and that hollow feeling got heavier, and bigger, and so hard to bear. He leaned forward and put his hand on her shoulder.
"We'll never forget her, never." He said, it was all he could think of to say. They would never forget Starfire, and the sacrifices she made. Raven covered his hand with hers and gave it a little squeeze.
"I know...I know." She turned to look over her shoulder at Beast Boy, and gave him the best smile she could muster, which wasn't much.
And on they went. Awkward, uncomfortable, hurting like they'd never hurt before. Robin had made his mind up on something that had been bugging him for years. Life, what was it? His life seemed to travel in cycles, and just when he feels content, happy, something horrible happens. His parents died when he was a young acrobat, felled by a cut wire on a trapeze rigging. If it held a few moments more, he would have been killed as well, but he lived, thus ending that cycle of his life. Then he met Bruce Wayne, Batman, who told him he could direct the rage, the anger of death towards something good. He was young enough to believe that, and it was true to a degree, so Dick Grayson agreed to be Dick no more, and become Robin, and a new cycle began. They – Batman and Robin – had run together for a few years and then had a falling out, a spectacular, expletive ridden falling out, involving him being ousted from the Batcave and essentially fired, and so a cycle ended. Then, he met Starfire and formed the Teen Titans, cycle begins. And now, Starfire is dead, cycle over. Always in a circle, love, death, love, death. That's all life is, really, an endless cycle of Love and Death, forever spiralling towards that last death in the chain, yours. Robin knew then, that a new cycle was beginning, he just didn't know how to handle it. He felt the tears behind his mask again, and this time he let them come, there was no reason to hold them back any longer.
Epilogue
Bartholomew Allen AKA Kid Flash
Powers include running at super sonic speed and a photographic memory, allowing him to read and remember any book in a matter of seconds. Currently resides in Keystone City with Wally West.
Conner Kent AKA Superboy
Genetic clone of Superman, with similar powers. Currently resides in Smallville with John and Martha Kent.
Mia Deardon AKA Speedy
Green Arrow's newest sidekick. Top notch archer and above average athletic, gymnastic and martial arts abilities. Currently resides in Star City with millionaire Oliver Queen.
Cassandra Sandsmark AKA Wonder Girl
Granted super powers by The God Zeus. Super strength, super speed, and the ability to fly. Currently resides in Gateway City with her mother.
Cyborg leafed through the folders one at a time, still considering the whole exercise a rather grim activity. Starfire had only been dead a month, and already they were trying to replace her. Somehow, it felt wrong. They'd had countless conversations on the subject, yes they were going to continue being the Teen Titans, yes they needed someone to fill Starfire's slot (yes, they contacted the JLA for a few suggestions, and got ten boxes of potential candidates), but it was like they were hardly acknowledging her anymore. It had been at least three days since anyone had mentioned her, and though that must have been a step in the right direction for grieving, it still felt wrong.
"You think Robin is gonna want to look at these?" Raven said, motioning towards the table and the piles of folders.
"He said he trusted our judgement. Besides, he's probably still packing." Raven shrugged and started to leaf through a new folder. Cyborg noted that she still hadn't regained that...whatever she had before Starfire's death. Raven was always a little depressing, but it was never really as infectious as it had been the past few weeks. Oh well, he could certainly relate.
A few minutes later Robin walked in. He was wearing civilian clothes for the first time in forever, and didn't have his mask on. They all stood, the bag in his hand told them that he was ready to leave. Cyborg walked to him.
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"So...when you comin' back?" Robin looked around the room, and seemed to be really thinking about the answer this time. The last time Cyborg had asked him that, he shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the room.
"Let me put it this way, you only need to pick one of those names, not two." He motioned towards the gargantuan pile of folders, each representing another hero. "You narrow it down at all?"
"Yeah, we got it down to four, most of them are too old to be Titans. You gotta hand to the Justice League, when you say you're looking for a new member, they give you the Phone book." They looked at each other for a moment, then Cyborg extended his hand towards Robin. Robin smiled a little and took it, shaking it (or rather being shook. Cyborg is what Jerry Seinfeld would call the shaker of a hand shake).
"Don't stay away too long, you hear me?"
"Count on that," Robin said. He looked over Cyborgs shoulder and saw Raven and Beast Boy standing there, looking at him. He let go of Cyborgs hand an walked past him, patting his shoulder on the way by. Cyborg watched Robin walk towards them and say something, but couldn't hear what. He dropped his bag and hugged Raven, who received it quite well, especially for Raven. She got up on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her chin on Robin's shoulder, her eyes were closed. They separated and Robin turned to Beast Boy, offering his hand. Beast Boy took it, and they drew each other into a tight embrace which lasted a few seconds. When they parted, Robin turned, picked up his bag and walked away, never looking back.
"See ya," he said as he walked by Cyborg.
"Yeah...see ya." Cyborg wondered then when he would next see Robin. They all agreed that if he wanted to leave, he could, Cyborg would fill in as leader. But they all agreed that he had to come back, Starfire wouldn't want him to stop, not like that. Where he was going or how long he was going to stay there, he wouldn't say.
He kept on walking, and never once turned back for another look. Leaving his team, minus two for now, soon to be minus one.
Back on the mainland, off of Titans Tower Island, a huge black car waited, idling on the side of the road. When Robin neared, a past middle aged man with a highly manicured, small mustache and a chauffer's hat exited the drivers side door, and walked around the car to where Robin was.
"Hello, master Dick." He spoke in a rather sophisticated British accent, and smiled warmly.
"Hey Alfred, how was the ride down?" Alfred looked briefly through the tinted window at something, then turned back.
"Quiet."
He opened the passenger door, exposing the darkened, cavernous interior. There was a figure inside, sitting in the shadows.
"Hi, Bruce." Robin said. The figure didn't move, or even say anything right away. Robin climbed in and sat opposite the figure, which was billionaire business man and alter ego of the Batman, Bruce Wayne.
"Hello Dick." He said. With no further words shared between them, the car started to move.
After a time, Bruce leaned forward and addressed Robin, Dick.
"If there's anything you need...anything, just let me know."
"Yeah...thanks." Dick said. Another few moments went by.
"Bruce..." he said, quietly.
"Yes?"
"How do you do it?" Dick leaned forward.
"Do what?"
"Deal with death. Right now I feel like there's a part of me that wants to jump off this whole planet, leave the bad behind, you know?"
"Yes, I know." Bruce leaned he head out of the shadows, and addressed Dick with a look in his eyes, which was somewhere between compassion and extremely grave.
"Dick, I was only eight when my parents died, not much younger than you when yours died, but I chose not to deal with it like you did. I'll bet how you felt then and how you feel now is quite similar, yes?"
"I suppose. But when they died I had this life to turn to...now where do I turn?"
"You don't. Don't shy away from death, Dick. I did. When my parents died I shut down most of the emotions I had, I've never really turned them back on, just hid behind a mask and took my anger out on the scum of the earth. Don't do that, don't hide behind that mask, don't let it be you, it always has to be the other way around." Dick felt on the verge of tears again.
"Do you ever get used to it? You've had so many people who were close to you die. In the JLA, there have been so many deaths, don't you ever get used to it?" Bruce leaned forward and put his hand on Dick's shoulder.
"Dick, you pray you never do."
The car hurtled along, whisking them back to Gotham City, where Dick, Robin, hoped that he could learn to grieve, and learn to live again. He wanted to feel all of Starfire's death, every inch of it. He promised himself then to not shy away from the feelings, not to disappear behind alter ego's or ignore the feelings by pummelling evil doers. He would honour her memory, and he would never, ever forget.
One tear fell then, swelling in his eye and then rolling softly down his cheek. Bruce squeezed Dick's shoulder and did his best to comfort the boy, but he was always bad at that sort of thing.
They both sat back in their seats and let the ride take them. Dick started to stare out the window, as he had been doing so often these past days. The sun was out, and he felt it's warmth on his face. There were birds flying through the air, sticking out black against the baby blue sky. There was only one thought going through his head on such a good day;
Starfire would have liked a day like this.
Yes, Starfire would have, and he would remember that for the rest of his life. Every time he looked into a flawless blue sky, or an expansive ocean stretched before him, her face would be there looking back. So then, she wouldn't really be dead, would she? She would live in him, in his heart and his mind. Forever there, helping him through the hard times, helping him to deal with the hardest parts of his life. Always there, to guide him, and always there to receive his love, for he would never, ever stop loving her, not as long as he drew breath. It was then he realized that she wasn't dead, for it wasn't death if you refused it, only if you accepted it.
Starfire would live as long as he loved her.
And he always, always would.
The End
