Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M

Thanx to:

ONTHEDL – I know it was a long wait, but hope it was worth it. Tell me what you think

Katydid – I know what you mean by being a sap, but I couldn't let Alec fall off his character.

UAR – there it is, finally next chapter. I promise I will write next sooner.

Icebox – This is what you get :) But you won't have to wait for the sequel this long.

Katherine – since we talked through the mail (and we're going to do so in the future), I hope this chapter made more sense to you.

Alexceaser – I'm very glad I have a new reader and I hope you will stay one as well. Say what you think.

Beggin here – I hope I caught you on time and you had the time to read this.

Chapter 12

Alec just stood there watching OC's crying face. He heard what she said, but that wasn't what he expected. Max gone. In his mind, she will stay in his life forever. Annoying him. But, she was the only one he knew that is like him. Not only the trangenic thing, although that is a big part. But she also has monsters from the past. He packed his aside, and he wanted to help her to do the same. Somehow, she helped him, inspite of the fact he didn't want that. It was time to help her. But, OC's words stopped that thinking. With her gone, his past might come back. But then there will be no one to help him.

"Alec?" – Oc tried to wake him up from his thoughts.

"Huh?" – he asked confused but quickly he regaind his posture. - "What do you mean she's gone forever? Did she come home? I just saw her a couple of hours ago."

"Yeah, well, that's kind of the reason she left. See, boo, I know the whole story."

Alec's face became dark. He wasn't ready to share his past with anyone else. Except Max, of course. But, again, she told someone.

"Go figure." – Alec said sarcastically as he entered the apartment. – "And there I thought she learned her lesson. Someone elses buisness is their buisness! She really is a walking gossip!"

OC watched him as he approached the couch and sat.

"And? What do you have to say about everything? Since Max told you, I presume, every single detail." – his voice got louder and louder. – "Any deep advices? I can tell you have some big words to say. You never had any problems with making me feel like shit."– he tried to sound confident and sarcastic but his voice was letting him down so he stopped.

OC stared at him thinking how she sees him entirely different now. Suddenly every detail from the past she remembered made sense. His irony, inabillity to confide, inabillity to love just one girl…

"No, no big words." – she said quitly. – "But, I have a question, though."

"Shoot." – Alec said throwing his arms up.

"Can you help me get my friend back?"

Alec was taken aback by that. He expected an interigation, yelling, but, she wasn't concerin spitened by him at all. All she wanted was to get Max back. And in some way, so did he. But would never admit that…

"Look, Cindy, I know you know everything, so I presume you know what she did…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know! – OC yelled. – "You know what!? I'm sick and tired of your past! I mean, I know you two had a tough childhood, I know you can't get away from that, from Manticore! But, you live in this world now. This is the place where friendship is deeply important! You just don't run from it if you have a problem with a man! She ran from me because of you! And you know it! I can't go through that again! I don't even know if I'll ever see her again." – she stopped cause she ran out of air. She expected some reaction from Alec but there wasn't any. He just sat there thinking about what she said.

"I know friendship is important, OC. Trust me, I know. Max was there for me. She saved my life just days ago. She acted like a friend."

"Oh, bullshit! With your enhanced vision, one would assume, you can see what's going on. You really think friendship is what binds you two together?" – she asked looking straight into his eyes. They reacted and he looked away.

"No, I don't think that. We ARE binded by the fact we're different. Friends or no friends we still fight for the same thing." – he said as he approached the window and looked out. – "You think you understand what it was like to live in Manticore? Max even doesn't know that. She got an opportunity to know her true self. She named herself, and I was always just a designation. Even now I don't feel like a person with a name." – he sighed.

"She named you didn't she?"

"Yeah…well, that's not important" – he lied becoming more silent with every word he said. It was important to him. The name had made him feel more adjusted to this world.

OC hregainedregainedad approached him and tried to touch his shoulder, but when she did that he jumped leaving her hand hanging in mid air.

"Don't touch me!" – he growled. – "I don't need your sympathy. I don't need anyone."

"Then why are you here?" – OC simply asked with her hands on her hips. She knew Alec was there to see Max but she needed him to admit that. She got an opportunity to watch them day after day, and she knew that even before this incident they had the connection.

"Come on, boo, admit that you need her, and than everything will be in the right place. Admit it." – OC thought.

His eyes were piercing through hers like they were challenging one another to back away. But, OC wasn't inbusinessbusinessbusinessbusinesstimidated by his stare. She lost her friend, she had nothing else to loose.

"I'm here to say goodbye." – he spoke silently surprising even himself.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you're leaving also?" – OC asked bewildered. Her ears heard a lot of nonsence, but this night was too weird. First Max was leaving, than the guy she left for.

"That's exactly what I meant. Since Max isn't here, I'm saying goodbye to you. I just need to go over to Joshua's to say goodbye to him. Well, bye, OCinabilityinabilityquietlyinterrogation." – Alec said and headed toward the door.

OC watched him bewildered! - "What the hell is going on here?!" – she wondered. – "This whole world is going to hell!"

"Wait, Alec!" – she called.

Alec stood in the doorway, not turning around.

"What?" – he simply asked.

OC tried to decide should she tell him about the journal, since he wasnconcern't in the greatest mood. But, she had a promise to keep.

"I have something for you. Wait here." – she sighed and went for the dresser where Rachels journal laid. She picked it up thinking how that little book was guilty for that whole arrangement. "The best thing for all of us would be if I throw this in the fire. – she thought.

She walked toward Alec with a little fear in her eyes. Alec was like a hurt animal, no one could tell what he'll do. But, she made a promise to Max.

"Here you go. This is also for you. And before you get all mad and all, I will tell you what it is."

Alec turned around looking at the book he saw in Max's hands just this morning. It was the time when he senced for the first time something was wrong, when he senced Rachel on Max. He knew this book was another trigger to his past. But he didn't say anything. He let OC continue.

"See, Max didn't steal the letter from that house. She stole this. It's Rachel's diary. She needed to know what happened there exactly, and since you didn't want to tell her, she decided to find out for herself. – OC stopped for a second, since the worst thing is about to come.

"She read this."

Alec flinched, and it was almost like he was snarling. He closed his eyes, and listened to the rest of OC's confession."She read this, but she wasn't prepared for everything that would come afterwards. Not the consequences of you becoming angry, but the ones about her own feelings. She didn't even know about the letter until Logan found it here, on the floor. He thought you left it here so he went to Crash to give it to you. But, there he relized everything. So, he decide Max should tell you the truth herself. And that's what she did. He let her go because of you…" – She left that sentence floating in the air hoping that Alec would finally see the entire truth, but he just stood in the doorway.

Alec took the journal from her hands and gave her one last look.

"She's a coward." – he whispered and took off.

OC fell back on the floor and started crying again. Nothing was going right. Only one thing held her in place.

"Maybe he'll talk to Joshua. Joshua seems to understand him."

On the other side of the door, Alec was sitting on the floor as well, holding the journal tightly letting tears fall from his eyes. Thinking how his past will never let him go.

Max was driving through the city thinking how the best thing would be is to leave everything behind. There was nothing keeping her here. And although with that thought she saw OC's face, and Sketchy's and even Normal's, she blocked those images away. Only Alec's face with that painful expression kept returning. Suddenly she stopped. She looked across the street realizing she was right in front of the cemetary. She got off her bike and as if she were hypnotized she walked in. With her night vision it was no problem to adjust to the dark. She made some sound by walking on the leaves, but there was no one there, so she ignored it. Time went by and she still didn't find the right grave. And then, right in front of the words read: Rachel, belowed daughter. The date on the stone convinced her she had found the right grave, and the familiar piece of paper assured her of that completely. She kneeled down and whispered:

"I didn't know you, but we have something in common. Alec was one of the most important people in our lives. You lost him because of Manticore, but I never had him.regained I don't know what I'm doing here, but I needed to come. I feel liksensedsensede I know you. And I'm sorry I never realizedmet cemeteryyou,bellowed cause I feel we would have a lot of things in common. And since I'm leaving I wanted to say goodbye to you too."

She kept looking at the letter feeling like she shouldn't be here, but no one was there to see her. Any how, she quickly stood up and left.

"Now I have one more stop before I go. I need to say goodbye to Joshua."

Again she got on her baby and took off towards her friends place.

I know, I know, I know. It was a long wait, but I'm really short with my time. I promise next chapter won't take this long. Anyway, tell me what you think about this one! Kiss, kiss!