Duuuuuuh duh, duuh duuh duh duuuuuuh duh, duuh duuh duh duuuuuuh duh, duh duh duh duuuh! If you haven't ever heard this tune before, well you have now! This is the well known theme song of Utensil Wars, well, well known if you're a utensil! This clan of kitchen utensils travel in their flying "saucer" to other drawers/planets, and fight with their archenemy "Darth Veal" who has been found to have a severe case of metallic asthma. The heroic clan consists of Lukewarm Tablewalker, Pan-achin' Tablewalker, Princess Lei-A-Spoon, Obi Whisk Ken-to-be, and more. So far they have the knives and forks on their side, but the all powerful steak knives have broken away from their knife clan, and rebelled against good. The Measuring Cup Union and the Spoon Tribe still remain neutral.
Every one of the heroes has a story to tell. Lukewarm Tablewalker was born in a microwave from hyper-sonic radioactive waves, and became an amazing fighter. Pan-achin' Tablewalker was born into slavery in egg frying, but was found to have remarkable powers and was trained as a PotatoEye. Princess Lei-A-Spoon was elected princess of the Spoon Tribe. Soon after though, she discovered that she was a PotatoEye at heart, and joined the team of crime fighters. Obi Whisk Ken-to-be was originally Obi the Wise Whisk, but after being set up on a blind date with Barbie by a two year old human, he developed dreams of being as attractive as Barbie's boyfriend Ken, and eventually, winning Barbie over. The evil villain, however, has his own story also. Darth Veal was born with asthma, and his mother built him an asthma mask out of an old plastic fork, which evidently was bewitched with evil powers right after Lukewarm Tablewalker was born.
Surprisingly these popular warriors are just like you! They walk, talk, eat, sleep, and even have dry cleaning! Of course, their dry cleaning is electric mixer proof vests, and lentil bullet proof pants, but that's beside the point. Once every so often a large, exciting battle takes place, and silverware will be talking about it for nights! One of these took place one night, and it tunred out to be one of the most emotional battles of a lifetime for Lukewarm Tablewalker. They were out on the battle field, and Luke was battling Darth Veal face to face, (or mask) when he got Darth Veal into a trap. Darth Veal knew he was about to die, so he told Luke some thing he should have known
years ago. What he said was "Luke, Breath Breath I am your microwave!" Luke later regretted killing him, but knew he had done the right thing.
Once in a while though, they do have to work, and when this happens, they're ready! They just pull out their electric mixers and plummet onto the battlefield, or the living room, and fight till dawn, when they become cold lifeless silverware, and loose their glass slippers…Cinderella. As for now, well they're still at war, but what will come their way, only time can tell.
