Disclaimer: Located on the exit to your left, (meaning first chapter, excuse the BAD joke)

A/N: ummmmm, well, no running, you're here now and you are going to read Please, reviews are welcome as well as help and ideas

Excuse my obsession with the word knoll, I just love that word! Knoll knoll knoll

Feedback: Hit me!

ONWARD!

Chapter 2: Stupid Grassy Knoll!

As Sam is cooking dinner later on, we sit around the fire, relaxing after a

long day on our feet. Boromir leans in and whispers in my ear.

"Pretty romantic scene, eh?"

"Which one of you chose this grassy knoll?" I ask.

"I did, why?"

"No reason."

"Lovely, though, isn't it?" Boromir purrs. "Of course, when compared to you..."

"You chose this knoll on purpose."

"Well, I did think it was a suitable and comfortable place for... whatever you were up for," he says, moving in closer. "Of course, there are more private areas..."

I get up and follow him (slightly pissed at all the undesired attention,) to a lush divot bespeckled with wildflowers and trees. I stand with my arms crossed, having followed him only for the purpose of telling him off, yet now I find no right words.

"Stupid grassy knoll." I grumble.

"You want another grassy knoll? I'll find another knoll, Legolas!"

"It's not about the knoll!" I yell, downturning the tail of my sentence in an attempt to keep my voice down. "Just quit trying to get into my pants!"

I return to the campfire in a storm of flush and fury, then stop dead at the empty fireside. At first, I imagine that my eyes have deceived me, but no; the camp is entirely empty, save a small table and two chairs. On the table

is a clean white cloth, two candles and plates. Gandalf steps out.

"I thought you could use a bit of relaxation," he says, smiling.

"Well thank you, isn't this ni–– Heyyy, wait a minute," I stop myself and look at Gandalf suspiciously. "Where is everyone?"

"Out... getting firewood," Gandalf says, grinning nervously. "For the rest of the evening."

I glance at the pile of firewood Sam had already stacked by the tree nearest the circle.

"They, uhm, they actually..."

"Gandalf," I grumble. "You sent them into limbo, didn't you?"

"Only a little."

"Gandalf!"

"Oh come on, they'll only be gone for an hour or so––"

He must have quite a low opinion of elf lovin', I think, half-amused.

"Call them back," I say sternly. Then, as an afterthought: "And I won't sleep with you."

Cursing, he waves his staff and the remainder of the company appear, seemingly in mid-conversation.

"––hurt, could it?" Aragorn says.

"Yeah, because I'll kill you if you try anything," Sam growls.

T.B.C.

A/N: Oh my God! Major flames are expected for this piece of (insert word of choice here)

It may seem like slash, but nothing is actually going to happen...