Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction

Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M


Thanks to:

Kristibella - Really glad you like my story. I hope you will like this chapter also! I'm kind of proud of it myself...(just kidding) Let me know, OK?
Screwy - Sorry, I forgot to thank you for the previous reviw. I hope you will like this...
Gauri - I know it was a long wait. Hope these couple of chapters I put on excuses me. Hope you like this!
Aur - I hope you like the way Max handled things. I didn't want to make her out of character.


Chapter 18 - One thing that made you love me

Alec was lying on the bed drinking scotch. His stare was fixated on some tv show, but he didn't agknowledge it much. The light from the TV didn't reach his attention. Not knowing what to do, he just kept turning the glass in his hands lifting it once in a while to take a sip. It seemed nothing could break this process, but when his cell rang he jumped. But just a little. He was still trained to be prepared for any surprises. He picked it up and not even looking at who's calling he turned it off.

"I don't want to talk to anyone." – he thought taking another sip. It was probably Normal who wanted to know where he disappeared to today. The day was almost over and he spent it all in his room. It was dark outside and the only light was the one from the TV, but even that made Alec close his eyes. The light probably hadn't had any real influence on him, but his eyes remained closed. Living in the dark was so much easier. It was kind of like living in Manticore. He was protected from the real world most of his life and the authority decided what he had to know and what not. In a way they protected him from emotional cruelty. He needed that now. Not Manticore, just that feeling of being safe.

With his eyes still closed he reached for the bottle but it was strangely light. He opened one eye to see that the bottle is empty.

"Oh, great. Now, what will I do? I don't have anymore liquor in this place anymore." – he thought. – "I could always go to Crash…". Of course he had a problem with that idea, but he needed to drink.

"Oh, what to hell. I come in, pay for a couple of bottles and leave. No biggie."

He grabbed his jacket and headed for Crash.

At the same time, Max was very nervous sitting on the bathroom floor. She held her knees up, and rocked herself back and fourth. Like a little baby. She found out that that comforted her.

"OK, this scene is very familiar" – she thought remembering her time in the Crash bathroom. She decided to tell Alec the truth, but then decided against it.

"What would have happen if I had told him the truth then? He would still hate me…that wouldn't change. But, we shared a moment then. He released himself from Rachel and I let go of Logan. Why do things have to be so complicated?" – she asked herself sighing.

Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, boo! Ready?" – it was OC.

"Oh, shit!" – she muttered as she jumped to her feet again. She started to fix her hair a bit yelling back:

"Um…I'll be right back. Just one more minute."

"OK, hon, but hurry up. We will have no place to sit if we come late. And I don't plan to stand the entire night." – the door flew open as she kept babbling and she jumped.

"Damn, boo, you almost gave me a heartattack. I thought you said it would take a minute?"

"You forget that I'm not like ordinary people. A minute is a few seconds smaller in my perspective." – Max smiled.

"Right, I keep forgetting that." – she smiled back. – "Well, are you ready to go get your boo?"

"Not when you put it like that! I just hope that he will come." – she said as they both put on their jackets. Max wore tight lether pants and a blood red top. She had somewhat a dishevelled look going on, and she looked fatal.

"Well, here goes nothing." – Max said outloud as she closed the door behind her. OC didn't say anything. She kept looking at her friend acting nervous because of a guy, and she didn't want to make it worse by saying something wrong.

Alec walked into Crash very slowly. Sure, the place was crowded, but he walked incrediable slow. His eyes were scanning the place trying to see if someone familiar was here. A few people behind him started to swear, cause he was so slow.

"Jesus, man, come on! I'm not planning on spending the evening on the stairs!"

Alec turned around and facing him calmly said:

"If you don't shut up, you will never come down these stairs." – he wasn't angry, he was just feeling very exhausted and that guy didn't help.

"Fine, keep your shirt on. Christ! Can you believe this guy…- he started to complain to his date who found herself staring at Alec. He was still quite of a male specimen. But, Alec disappeared taking himself to the bar. Before sitting down, he took another look around the place, just to make sure no one he knew was here.

"Hey, man, what's up?" – Sid asked him.

"Oh, not much." – Alec simply answered.

"Listen, thanks for locking up. I found my key and everything seemed to be in place."

Alec looked at him remembering last night. He also remembered that he forgot all about the key, but Max took care of that.

"No prob, man. Glad to help. Look, can you give me two bottles of Scotch to go." – Alec felt the need to escape from this place. Everything seemed to remind him of last night and he couldn't block out the memories. First just this place, then Sid.

"Yeah, no problem. Let me buy you a drink first. I managed to get to my date last night right on time and had a great time. I owe you and Max that. Where is she, by the way? We have a special night tonight."

"I don't know. And I don't care. – was Alec's answer. He stopped for a second. – "What kind of special night?"

"Didn't you see the poster? A guy is coming to play tonight. He's supposed to be very good. A couple of friends recommended him, actually."

Alec had a weird feeling about all this and he felt anxiety approaching.

"What does he play?" – he asked below his voice.

"A piano. I think it will be OK. There are a lot of couples here just waiting for romance." – Sid said with a wink.

Alec got off his chair getting his money out of his jacket.

"Well, I'm not in the mood for that. I'll take your offer for a free drink some other day, OK?" – he said putting his money on the bar.

"As you wish." – Sid said shrugging. – "Let me get that Scotch for you. It's in the basement. I'll be right back." – he said and went downstairs.

"Yeah, just hurry up." – Alec said sitting back in his chair. – "I don't want to stay here a minute longer than I have to."

Again he felt an attack of anxiety approaching but now he knew exactly what was the cause of it. It was the same feeling he had last night. Even with his back turned he knew. She was here.

"Oh, great. Come on, Sid, where the hell are you?" – he thought to himself not even turning – "I know she's here. And I could have missed her if I had only left a few minutes ago. Maybe she won't notice me. Please, God, just don't let her notice me. I don't need that tonight. Not here. Just not here."

Max entered Crash with OC on her arm, also feeling very restless. As opposed to Alec she found with her sight what she was looking for the first time.

"OC, he's here." – Max whispered squeezing OC's arm not realizing her grip was just a little bit to strong.

"Damn, boo, you're gonna break my neck. I hate this thing where I' m the one who gets hurt everytime you're nervous." – she tried to be sarcastic and trying to relax the situation.

"Sorry for that." – she said taking her coat off. They found a place to sit and Max hadn't taken her eyes off Alec not for a second.

"He's not gonna disappear if you look the other way, you know?" – OC said with a smirk.

"Very funny." – Max sat down fixing her top. - I'd just rather not make a fool of myself with him anymore. She really looked great and a few guys were already checking her out. She just didn't notice them. But, OC did.

"How about you go and get us a pitcher of beer? Or the hunting will begin."

That got Max's attention.

"Why aren't you going to get us a beer and what hunting?"

"Oh, I finally got your attention! Good for me! I mean all of these horny men, drooling over you."

Max turned around seeing a couple of not bad looking guys cheking her out. Too bad she wasn't interested in them also.

"Look, boo, this is the last warning I'm gonna tell you. If you don't go over there, you will be sorry and you will feel like crap. If you do go over there, he will probably leave. Now, I know that doesn't sound that reasuring…

"You think?" – Max asked ironically.

"I know." – OC sighed. – "But, if he decides to leave, you will have to stop him. Not by arguing with him, but you will have to remind him of that one thing that made him love you in the first place. Now, I don't know what that is and you probably don't know what that is. But, you will have to find out."

Max haden't said a word, she got up from her chair and started to walk over. The guys were still staring at her, but she didn't even give them a glance.

She got to the bar and sat next to Alec.

"Hey."

His eyes were focused on the door that led to the basement. He thought maybe if he focused hard enough, Sid would come up, and he could leave.

But, the door stayed closed,

"What can I do to make him talk?" – she asked herself. But as soon as she saw him getting up, she knew. No fear, no nothing. Only the truth.

"This place can really make you think, right?" – she asked him openly. – "I mean this bar, that chair, that piano. I told you you were my friend right there; yow were sitting on that chair. And I lied. Friends don't feel shivers when they see each other. When they're standing close to one another." – she felt her eyes water, but she repressed her emotions. She needed to speak clearly.

"Let's see what's next. There are the stairs where I stood when you were looking at me like you have eyes only for me. It WAS that look. And…there is the piano where you played for me. I thought you were thinking about Rachel. And you were. But, I know something else. You played me a song. You played it just for me. You can't deny that. That's the place I touched your hands like they touched my heart while you were playing…"

"Shut up" – Alec ordered her. He looked at her and tried not to show any of the raw emotion he was feeling.

She had a multitude of emotions running through her. She felt anger, and sadness. She was also confused and hurt by his coldness.

"Maxie, please be quiet." – he whispered again.

Max looked at him her heart beating hard. Her breaths were deep like there was a shortage of oxygen in the air.

"Maxie." – she thought feeling a sob catch in her throat looking straight at him. – "He called me Maxie…"