Disclaimer: I don't own anything here, just an idea, but trust me you can't get anything from that! Leave me to live in fiction
Summary: Set after "The Berrisford Agenda". Alec said goodbye to his first love and that changed him forever. Can he open his heart to someone else? Or will it stay closed forever? What will Max think about him from now on? He is a changed man now… A/M
Thanks to:
Ro - I'm so glad you like my story. I hope you will review this chapter as well to tell me what you think so far.
Kristibella - I hope this wasn't a long wait. I'm trying to put another chapter as soon as it's done. What do you think about this one? Enough suspence:) And the Logan question is answered. Thanks for the compliment. It means a world to me.X
suenooneus - I'm glad you like this kind of Alec. I also think there is something cute about a confused man. Especially if you know you're the reason he's so confused. Hope you like this one. And OC was bound to help. She has that wibe in her. :)
SGOU - I think this chapter answers your question about Max leaving Crash. :) And I hope you like the answer. And if you liked open Max from Crash, you're gonna LOVE this one. :) Tell me what you think.
JeNsEnS wifey ChAdZ lover - I'm so glad I touched you with my last chapter. It's a great compliment. I hope this chapter has at least similar effect.
Gauri - I agree with you that Max was supposed to say that words aren't their thing. It really seems that way, doesn't it? I tried to change that, but only a little in this chapter. Tell me if it's too much.
Aur - I LOVE Evanescence. Te song is really great. I thought it was time to push those two a little bit further. This chapter proves that. I hope...
And a special thanks to: my beta Lakergirl08 - I know this is the first time I'm thaning you here, but I wanted to emphasize your importance:) Hope you're well!
Chapter 20 – I don't want you as a friend…
Max jumped on her ninja, her heart racing. She was a little bit tired from running up the stairs, but now that she was out she felt without air. Her emotions caught up within her.
«Oh, God, what am I doing?" – she thought. – "Where am I going? I must've lost my mind. I'm on the run for a guy who has every right to hate me."
But then her thoughts went elsewhere.
"He doesn't hate me. I know that. I just have to make him see that completely." – Max thought, starting her ninja in the process. The sound was tearing the air apart, but not enough so Max didn't hear someone calling her name. She turned her ninja off, turning around. She saw a very drunk Logan standing in front of her.
"Maxie, Maxie, Maxie. Aren't you just a sight for sore eyes? Or drunk eyes." – Logan babbled while dragging himself towards Max. He was barely standing on his feet.
"Logan. What are you doing?" – Max asked impatiently. She needed to be elsewhere and she knew Logan was just playing her.
"Well, I was just getting myself a drink. Care to join me?"
"I think you had quite a few, Logan. I have to go." – Max said preparing herself to turn her ninja back on.
But Logan got in front of her, blocking her way.
"Where are you going?" – he asked her seriously watching her eyes.
"Logan, move." – Max said determinately.
"Or what? You're gonna move me yourself? Unfortunately, one touch from you and I'm dead. – he said. – "Well, maybe that would be for the best."
Max was getting angrier by the second. She knew he was just trying to pull some sympathy from her and he was feeling sorry for himself.
"I'm sick of this, Logan. I'm tired of convincing you that you matter. You have to do that yourself. Everything is not about you. We all have a place in this world. Only yours and mine aren't the same one. Now move. I have to go."
Logan watched her reaction and he was surprised. He was expecting some sympathy from her, but there wasn't any. So he held his hands in the air showing her that she can go.
"He is one lucky bastard." – Logan said implying Alec.
Max simply looked at him and smiled.
"I'm the one who's lucky."
She started her motorcycle and took off, leaving Logan without any guilt.
She knew the way to Alec's house so she hurried trying to find the right words in her head.
"I'll just knock on his door and when he opens it I'll try to invite myself in. What if he doesn't let me in? Well, tough, I'll just barge in. He has to listen to me. Things can't get any worse than they already are. Oh, here we go…" – she stopped in front of Alec's building. She looked up seeing the lights were dim.
"Maybe he's not home…" – she thought, but than she saw Alec's ninja parked in front. – "Here he is."
She entered the building walking to his door. Of course, she wasn't expecting for Alec to throw himself into her arms and smother her with kisses either. But she knew he didn't truly hate her. Maybe he will be willing to forgive and forget. Maybe they had a chance at starting this whole thing over? That's what she was hoping for. A second chance.
She knocked on the door placing her ear to the door so she could hear if there was any movement inside. But, there wasn't. She knocked once again, but there was still no response. Max sighed at this attempt and rested her head on the door. Suddenly the door opened and she landed on her stomach.
"Damn it" – she muttered lifting her head only to see a pair of boots standing in front of her. Her gaze traveled upwards revealing the owner of the boots.
Alec was looking at her not knowing what to think.
"What is she doing here?" – he thought.
"Max." – he slowly stated. – "Comfortable?"
Max scrambled to her feet looking Alec straight in the eye.
"Hey. Guess you're wondering why am I here?"
"The thought had crossed my mind."
"Well, I decided we need to talk." – Max started determinately, but Alec stopped her.
"You decided?"
She sighed thinking how her strong approach won't work this time.
"I want to talk to you."
"Well, is this going to be a short conversation or do you want to come in?" – Alec asked as he motioned with his hand for her to come in.
She nodded as she walked completely into his apartment.
"Thanks."
Alec closed the door very slowly as he wanted to delay this conversation as long as he could. He was still holding the bottle in his hands, but he put it down before turning back to Max.
"So? What is it?" – he asked.
Max gazed into his hazel eyes trying to find the strength in them.
"I found them." – she said.
Alec expected more, but she stopped while breathing heavily. He decided to play along.
"You found what?"
"The words. I found the words." – Max said as Alec remembered their conversation from Crash. She was right back then. Neither of them was very good with words and he knew that.
"Let me ask you something first." – Alec whispered.
"What?"
"Why did you do it?"
"Why did I do what? – There were a couple of things that came to her mind.
"Hurt me like that. I thought you at least thought of me as a friend…"
"I never meant to hurt you." – she stopped him.
"Well, you did."
"I know." – Max whispered looking down feeling her cheeks burning. – "I'm so sorry.
"Well, I don't want to talk about that. It's over. It's done. It's forgotten." – Alec quickly said. He wasn't ready to play out this scenario once again. He thought she had something different to say, but he was wrong.
"Is this it? You're sorry? We already had this conversation."
"That's not it. I mean, it is, but it's not all of it. I wanted to ask you if there's a chance for us?"
Alec looked at her in surprise. She was standing in front of him asking him if there's a chance for them. This was really happening. It wasn't just his dream.
"Max…" – he started gently trying not to sound very harsh.
"No, shut up." – Max stopped him. – "Let me just say this while I have the strength, OK?"
She took a deep breath as she walked over to the window. The rain started to fall and that distracted her for a second. She was looking at the raindrops like they were trying to tell her something. It was like she was watching as time went by. They were falling and she was standing in the same place. She needed to change that. She turned around to face Alec who was just watching her. She was the most beautiful girl he ever saw, and he still felt like he was feeling something that was forbidden to him.
"I ran into Logan tonight." – she started seeing Alec shifting. – "He was drunk and he was playing his old self pity act. But he said something interesting. He said you're lucky. I understood one thing then. In a way he was right. You're no longer in Manticore, you have a job, your boss likes you" – she smiled at the thought but continued. – "You have good friends. I know I made a mistake with interfering. But, you have to understand, that's what friends do. They interfere. They help you see that you need someone who you can rely on. Only I failed at that. I didn't make you see that."
Alec felt strange. With every word she entered his heart more. He was truly starting to appreciate the power of words. But his pride was still strong.
He didn't say anything, so Max continued as she turned her eyes back to the rain.
"You know what? I'm not truly sorry. I mean, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and I'm sorry you feel this way now, but I'm not sorry for getting to know one part of your life. You're always playing cool, but the fact that I know you loved once makes me feel like you're human. Not a soldier. And that matters. I feel I can believe in a person who loved at least once."
It was a shame Max was turned the other way, cause Alec's lips whispered the word "twice" and she didn't hear that.
"So." – Max faced him. – "This is the reason why I want another chance."
"You want me as a friend." – Alec stated. – "Well, sorry, Max, but I don't want you as a friend."
The words stung Max's heart.
"So, you can't get pass all the hate?"
Alec smiled at her thinking how she was getting everything wrong. He knew one thing. She passed a high barrier by coming to him and he needed to do at least one thing.
"No, I said I don't want you as a friend. You were right back at Crash. Friends don't look at each other like that." – he looked at her trying to see if his words were making their purpose. And they did.
"Well, it's good to know I was right about something." – she smiled feeling very nervous. His words had an impact on her as well as hers had an impact on him.
He smiled back.
"Yes, that's a first."
They were looking at each other like they were seeing each other for the first time. It was a look of two young people who are finally at the same place at the right time. Time is often missed by people and they regret the lack of actions. "What if's" are always in their minds. But, these two caught their time. With that the rain stopped.
"So, now what?" – Max asked.
That was a wake up call for Alec. He needed to figure this thing out once and for all. Will pride take over him once again? His inner battle wasn't hidden from Max who kept watching him feeling very scared that he would change his mind and kick her out.
She came a little closer placing one hand on his shoulder.
"Alec? Don't push me out again. " – she whispered.
A/N - I hope you're liking this so far. I worked long on this chapters. There were a few versions and I hope I chose the right one. Let me know! x
