Didn't think anyone would come up with an R rated pokémon fan fic did you? Anyway, Pokémon and all of the characters and settings provided by it are not my creation. Technically, neither is Big Roy. (Thank you Gopher Boy.) Includes two OC's; Lenton and Cindy
Officer Jenny tapped her foot impatiently as she toyed with the pokéball in her hand. She hated stings, especially ones that involved standing in an alley for over an hour in a mini skirt on a cold night! Still, the Goldenrod City SVU needed her help and with kind of crimes SVU deals with, she just couldn't say no.
She looked down at the sleeping Abra next to her, since any kind of weapon might blow her cover, Abs would have to teleport them both out if things got hairy. She mentally turned over the situation again.
The GCPD had reason to believe that a local gang of pokémon thieves was selling dittos into prostitution. After all, what pimp wouldn't a prostitute who could become anyone their client wanted? Besides, if a ditto changes shape afterward, basically all of the evidence is erased. She'd been undercover as a pokémon thief under the name of Jenice Parker for about a month now and gained the trust of the Raticate gang by bringing in pidgeys and rattatas. This was her second ditto, the first one had been tracked and recovered before anything could happen to it. All they needed now was the conversation she was about to tape.
Her thoughts were interrupted when a man in a leather jacket walked intothe alley. "You Big Roy?" she asked.
"You Jen?" The man shot back.
It was show time.
"Who else you expecting? Santa Claus?" Jenny rested her hands on her hips. "We both know you've been naughty!"
"Yeah, name someone in Goldenrod who isn't?" He reached into a pocket for some cigarettes and lit up. It was kind of entertaining to watch since he had only two fingers on his left hand, probably lost to a firecracker or something. "You got it?"
"Got what?"
"Don't give me that shit, you know what I'm talkin' about!"
"You mean this?" She held up the pokéball.
"Just show it to me."
Jenny shrugged and released the ditto from its pokéball. The shy little tried to make itself as small as possible without transforming. "I still don't get what you'd want these things for. You got clients with a Jell-o fetish or something?"
Big Roy took a long drag on his cigarette. "What? You live in a cave or somethin' or are you just stupid!"
Jenny tilted her head to one side. "Fire am good!"
"Then you got a wire?"
Jenny raised an eyebrow, then smiled. "You gonna feel for one…Big Roy?" She slipped her arms around his neck giving him a view down her front, which, judging by how tight her top and skirt were and how short they both were, was probably the only place she could hide a wire and still pick up anything.
"I'm not gonna feel you up! I don't know where you've been!" He explained as he pushed her away. Jenny made sure to trip over her feet so she could reach the badge and handcuffs in her knee length boots when she got up. They'd been driving her nuts the whole night.
"Hey!" Jenny rubbed where she landed. "You gonna tell me what I'm doin' here or should I take my goods somewhere else?"
Big Roy took a deep breath, "Yeah, alright." He looked at the ditto that was still cowering in the middle of the alley. "Transform into her!" he ordered, motioning to Jenny.
The ditto gave him a frightened and puzzled look.
Big Roy moved towards the ditto. "Wait!" Jenny almost shouted, "What do you mean into me?"
Big Roy pushed the glowing end of his cigarette onto the ditto's surface. The unfortunate little creature squealed in pain. "I said transform!" The ditto did as it was told, but continued to cower on the ground while in it's new form. Big Roy looked to the real Jenny with a satisfied look. "See? How can my girls compete with that?"
"You pimp out pokémon?"
"No shit! You should be a detective!"
Smiling, Jenny produced the badge and cuffs from her boots, "No shit?"
"Fuck!" Before Jenny could get any closer he threw a pokéball and ran for it. The koffing that was inside began to glow.
"Ditto! Return!" A red beam enveloped the imitation of her form and was safe. "Abs!"
Jenny and Abs saw the explosion from a neighboring rooftop. "Thanks Abs!" Jenny took two pokéballs from the belt at her waist threw them, freeing a pidgey and ghastley. "Pidge! Spooks! Find the perp!"
The door to the roof flew open and Jenny's partner Lenton rushed out. "Got the whole thing on tape Jen! We've got pidgeys doing surveillance on the perp now."
"Know where he is?"
"Abra!" Abs demanded their attention.
"Oh, sorry Abs!" Jenny kneeled down and removed the small vest that Abs was wearing. "At least you didn't have to wear the wire last time!"
Abs smiled and dozed back off to sleep.
Lenton handed Jenny a coat. "You look like you're freezing!"
"I am freezing!" Jenny remarked as she grabbed the coat and put it on. "Thanks Lent!"
"Anytime partn-" Lent was interrupted by the radio at his waist crackling to life. "The perp's at the corner of Vulpix and 35th, you want the arrest Jen?"
Jenny grabbed another pokéball from her waist. "Abs?" The two of them appeared on the street just as Big Roy ran out of a near by alley. Letting the pokéball fly, Jenny released an oddish. "STUN SPORE!" The was a yellow cloud, and Big Roy went down.
Jenny leisurely sauntered up to where Big Roy was laying. "C…can't move!" he mumbled.
"But you can remain silent because anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law…" Jenny continued to read him his rights as the siren approached and tried not to think of all the paper work she'd have to do when she got back to the station.
