CHAPTER 15: FROM THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOU

KOUJI

The base of memories is always the feeling attached to them. The reason why we remember an especific moment, person, or phrase more clearly, is because of the effect that they had made on us. The feelings and emotions aroused by these things or people is striking, you know what I mean?

I knew I was going to get emotional towards the end...

Do you remember that incident I always avoided to talk about? which caused the loss of all of my "friends"? That's one of those memories. I think that it's time for you to learn some details like: my brother was involved, along with his great at telling lies and a his very loose tongue and certain love interest he was having at the time.

A year ago Koichi was crazy about someone I never really met, all I knew about them was that they had and older brother who thought I was Koichi. Actually he knew I was Kouji, but that was because my brother said that he was I and so I was the one being chased and... ugh, what was I talking about? I don't think I'm making any sense...

Let's start over,

My brother has the bad habit of saying that he's me (ruining that way my good reputation). He says he does that because I am more interesting than him - riiight, I believe him – I know he only does that to annoy me. But the last time he did it, his beloved's older brother started following me everywhere because he thought I was after his relative- you know what, this is hard to explain because I'm not really sure what happened. I just know that many circumstances occurred at the right time to result into disaster. And many of those circumstances were caused by my brother's impossibility to tell the truth.

Ok, I'll start again. The first thing that you have to learn is that before this incident, my brother and I attended to different schools. The second thing is that Koichi introduced himself to his love interest with my data. The third is that my brother's crush's brother's didn't appear to be such a treat, not even his company. But lanky as they looked, both were experts in martial arts (and don't forget a few years older than me). One more thing I'll ask you to keep in mind is that I never I saw the blow coming (in other words Koichi didn't have the courtesy of telling me about this).

Things went like this: Koichi started hitting on this guy (very shamelessly), but the boy was obvious not interested and told his older brother, who decided to scatter a rumor at my school about my sexual preferences with the help of another boy who later on left the school. Because of that I started to receive more attention than usual. My friends, aware of the rumors, were disturbed but kept acting as if nothing was wrong... at the beginning.

To this point Koichi still hadn't stop hitting on this guy who, for some reason was very nice to him instead of just telling him that he wasn't interested. Of course, he had his brother to do the dirty job instead. Said brother got angry very quickly and decided to personally meet the infamous Kouji. That's when he went to my school, to find the pest who bothered to his little brother. But he found me. Poor clueless Kouji who didn't understand why these two guys had suddenly appeared and began asking me the weirdest questions.

Half semester had passed by before I heard the rumors. From the very mouth of who had started them and of course I got angry. I denied everything and threw a few blows at the idiot (who –for some really sick joke of the destiny I don't believe in- wore goggles just like Takuya). Maybe I did punched him too hard, hoping that he would shut up forever. No such luck.

The next day, those two bigger and stronger guys, made sure that I felt pain in every part of my body, beating me until somebody realized they were really trying to kill me and did something to stop them. The abusive left just on time to miss the chance to meet my stupid twin, who showed up just a few seconds after that, with his 'boyfriend' and much later came the idiot who started the rumors and made the most brilliant deduction (sarcasm).

Koichi apologized to me all the way to the infirmary, to the hospital and all the way home. I didn't talk to him for two months. Which gave him enough time to think and feel remorse (as if). Whereas I... nah. I was also suffering, because of the marks and bruises that remained with me for over a month and kept hurting even after two weeks. Luckily I never saw again the abusive that had beaten me, but my brother's 'boyfriend' and goggle boy went to my house to apologize, although I didn't talk to them, either.

The result of all those incidents were: at school I acquired a reputation of being a troublesome and, although Motomiya (I believe that was his last name) tried to convince everyone that all he had said before were lies, none believed him. So most of the students, along with my friends, kept on a radio of 2 meters away from me. Ironic is that by the end of that semester Motomiya was the only person who tried to befriend me which only caused him to be treated the same way as I (but of course I didn't feel a bit sorry for him, this was his fault after all), and maybe that was the reason why he changed schools the next semester, shrug.

Then Koichi decided to attend at the same school that I did. He said that was because he wanted to keep me company. If that was his real motive, it didn't happen as he planned. From day one, everyone in his class – hell, the whole school praised and admired him (just because he had threw a party which became legendary), whereas I kept being ignored and/or made fun of. Much later, half semester later, I met Takuya and... well, you already know how that's going. Everything started to cool down throughout this semester, from the pests that I used to call friends, to my resentment towards Koichi.

That is, until my little bother decided to repeat his performance. The idiot had told Izumi that he was I! And he says this to me just before I can see Takuya, taking a bit of my cheerfulness away because after his confession, all I wanted was to have a moment alone with him just to be able to shake, shoke and kill him very, very slowly right after he answered me why the hell was he doing this to me again.

After we left Takuya in the park, I caught my brother at the bus stop and I started yelling at him. Koichi kept strangely silent all the way throughout my outburst until the end when I told him"You have to tell him the truth, that you're not me." my brother just stared at me for a long time before swearing to me that that would be the first thing he would say when he saw him again.

I don't know why I believed him.

The next day I got to the library at 3 p.m. (as it was now my usual) It was the last week of vacations and first I thought that was the reason why Takuya looked so depressed, but as soon as I asked him what was wrong he got on his knees in front of me, hugged my legs and started to beg me to come to the library in the morning. "Zoe, Jumpei, our boss, the lady... ALL of them are ignoring me and it's just not fair! ... Kouji please come earlier to the library" said Takuya and then started tell me the horror tale that was to be in the same room with Zoe Ayamoto and what had happened there in my absence. I thought that he was exaggerating, but I decided to do what he asked just to get him to stop wetting my pants with fake tears and I was awarded with a cry of happiness and a hug from which I got hurt, again. But this time the blow struck at my cheek by one of his elbows. Conclusion: he's dangerous when he's happy.

But that was not the end of my day (just the highlight). At night, I got a phone call that took me by surprise:

"Good night, can I speak to Kouji, please."

"That's me."

"... who's this"

"um... Koushiro Izumi "- 'eep'

"..." - 'what do I do? What do I tell him?' - 'a lie' - 'but I already told him that I was Kouji, and if my brother told him that he wasn't I?...' - 'And now he's calling to talk to you because you know him so well.' - 'well excuse moi, why wouldn't he want to talk to me?' - 'because he does not know you, me, I mean he must be thinking I'm Koichi, no that Koichi is me... arrgggh'

"hello" - 'earth to Kouji! you're still on the phone' - 'really? I hadn't noticed... and what do you expect me to do!' - 'Don't ask me!' - 'You're my conscience, you're supposed to know' - 'I guess...' - 'then think something!'

In the end I decided to cover for my pathetic excuse of brother"err... yeah, I'm still here, um, actually I'm Koichi, um, Kouji has not arrived home yet."

Big mistake.

"Really? Oh, well..." pause "I'm afraid that there has been a confusion, I only want to speak with the owner of Siam."

"err... that would be me."

"exactly, because Koichi doesn't like cats."

"Right." It took me a second to rewind and listen to myself, then"Hey!"

"Kouji, right"

It turned out that this guy already knew me, he said that I was very popular at school (even if just because of those rumors). According to Koushiro, all the seniors knew me and my brother took advantage of that to talk to him at the beginning of this year (grrrr... damn him), but he had known all along that Koichi was lying because he had seen me at the computer lab some times.

I could help but ask him why he had played innocent with my brother, and he confessed that he really liked the compulsive-liar Koichi. I must say that that took me by surprise, Koichi can be charming when has his mind on it, but still... Koushiro is one of the few people in the world which are call geniuses. How could be possible that my brother...

"You know, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time. Our programming teacher only speaks wonders of you and I have personally reviewed some of your designs and programs, and I must say that they are something" I couldn't help it, I blushed just for listening such compliment coming from a specialist.

"T- thanks" - 'eloquent, very eloquent...'

"... and I was wondering if you would be interested in working in a recent project, your collaboration would be very well paid, what do you say?"

"I - I don't- don't know what to say. Uh- are you sure I could? I mean, I still have so much to learn... what is this project about"

He explained to me the general view, it was a school sponsored project, paid by the school, for the school, and counted as valuable school credits "And you can either cover your social service time just by doing this."

"That's brilliant! More than that! I'll get to work with Ichijouji and Izumi... do you really think that it can help you? I mean... you two are the best."

"Is that your answer"

"Yes! Of course! When do we start"

"Well, we've already started. The work began a week ago, so if you could start from tomorrow, that would be great."

"Very well then! err... where do I have to go"

"To school, we've begun to go in the afternoons, to get used to the schedule that we will have when classes start." That was when something started to bother me, but I wasn't sure what it was.

"School, sure... well then, at the computer lab at what time?"

"4 o'clock."

"Well then, see ya at 4. Ja"

"Wait! Um... could you do me a favor? Please just tell Koichi that I already know the truth. He was acting weird when we met today and avoided looking at for some reason."

"Oh sure! I'll tell him." – time for revenge "'till tomorrow"

"Thanks, bye."

When my brother dignified me with his presence, one hour later, I was glad to inform him - and make fun of him - because Koushiro had called and had asked me to work with him in a school project. And of course I couldn't stop telling him that Koushiro had known who I was all along, and finally I passed the caller's message which was something like: 'stop pretending you're me!', wasn't it?

My brother reactions were the best entertainment than I've had in months: he paled a little when I told him who had called. Turned white when I announced that I had accepted to work with him. Finally he passed through every shade of color when I told him that this time he had been caught lying...

Yep, that's one of the highlights of my life right there... when my brother met shame.

Koichi wasn't able to say anything coherent until the next day, when he was finally able to ask me calmly:

"thank heavens because I really tried to tell him yesterday, but I really couldn't..." then he exploded saying the things that, I suppose, had been going through his mind all night. Mainly cursing his boyfriend for letting him think that he was outsmarting him, and me for being so happy about the whole thing. But really the only thing that made me smile like a loon was that I had finally had seen justice. Then he made the next comment"If you are going to work with them when school starts again, that means that you're no longer going to the library"

Honestly, I hadn't thought about it until that point... but then I remembered "Takuya! I almost forgot about him! I promised I'd be there early!"

I didn't give myself time to think about the tiny little problem that I'd have when school started. Instead, I worried about arriving to the library before 9:00 a.m. to see Takuya... and Zoe. This girl... is the same one Jumpei had been talking about all along (the same stupid one that always asked the same books). As soon as she saw me speaking with Takuya, she approached me and told me that it was best for me if I left Takuya alone, like the rest of the personnel in the library. I just gave her an incredulous look and walked away from her without saying anything. When I asked Takuya how had he acquired such nuisance, he explained how she had been following him around the library for almost a month, until he finally exploded and told her to leave him alone because he almost got fired on her account. Of what Takuya seemed oblivious, was that the girl still followed him everywhere - just like me, but because he asked me to tag along – it didn't take too long for me to put two and two and realize that the girl must have feelings for my beloved and confused Takuya, she was just acting mean with him because Takuya had rejected her.

"You're going already" he asked me, when the clock read half past three.

"Yep, I have an appointment." the divine one didn't seem to believe me, then I realized that I never informed him of my plans for the afternoon "I am going to participate in a school project along with Izumi Koushiro, err... you know him, right"

"Of course I know him! Why do you ask"

"School project uh"

"Yep."

"and Koichi... is jealous"

"He's just being stupid..."

"I never thought Koichi was so insecure, I mean, I never thought that it would bother him so much that you worked with his boyfriend."

"I think it's a bit weird too."

"and you don't feel uncomfortable? I mean, working with Izumi-sempai"

"A little. I'm still embarrassed to receive so many compliments because they say I am progressing a lot and is much worse when Koushiro says that and then Koichi starts looking at me as if he really wanted to kill to me... it's like seeing myself being angry with me... weird."

"I cannot believe that Koichi is actually going to school exclusively to watch over you two... the good thing is that the next week, when school starts again you'll stop working with Izumi."

"err.. now that you mention it, Koushiro said that the project can be considered like social service and I had been thinking about... keep going there, after classes."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Then you..."

"Yep."

"Well I am glad for you, it's a really good thing that you're finally going to work somewhere you really like." Takuya stood up from the chair next to mine and opened the door of the cubicle murmuring to himself "I had almost forgotten that I had to check in the books that came in earlier, bye Kouji." but Takuya didn't come back before I had to leave and – since I didn't want to be late for school - I didn't go looking for him so I left without saying goodbye.

Without knowing that I wouldn't see him again for a long time.

In the next week, another scholar semester began. In the mornings I went to classes where my classmates were still ignored me, whereas in the evening I met with some of the most brilliant minds on the country and a genius with world-wide recognition, to work in a program design that would be useful for the school to improve its budget.

One week passed just like that. One week quickly became two, three, a month, two... and no matter how much I missed him, I didn't dare to look for him or call him. The last thing I knew from him was after the first week of school when Koichi went to pick up Bella, after our grandparents convinced our parents to let us have our pets in the house.

It couldn't be helped, I felt melancholic and very often I was on the verge of going out to look for him, but I was afraid that Takuya had forgotten about me or didn't care about my visit. Koichi went often to the library during that time, but he never mentioned having seen him (maybe because he didn't speak to me because the idiot was still upset with me for working with his boyfriend).

But I had to do something to get rid of this 'missing him' issue and what did I do? I started to read the books from the shelves of my house-library (starting with those I remembered Takuya had mentioned the first time he came to my house).

By the first week of the third month, I braced myself and asked my brother about Takuya's whereabouts. Since he had just come from the library, I tried to sound like it was the most natural thing, even if I felt internal mouths clawing its teeth on my insides, when I asked "Have you seen him"

Koichi looked at me confused "Takuya doesn't work at the library anymore" then the mouths started chewing at me and my face fell "You didn't know"

End Chapter 15

CHAPTER 16: HELLO AND GOOD BYE

TAKUYA

Do you know Murphy's law?

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Always can.

Always will.

At the most inopportune time.

At the worse place.

Reiterating, always.

And how about the Law of the Downwards Spiral Of Things that Go Wrong. This one says that when you think that your situation can't be any worse it becomes more disastrous.

My life was just on the verge of falling into one of those Spirals, but at that moment all I could see was the tip of the Iceberg.

Try to picture yourself walking in to a place where you're not welcomed and everyone look like they are just waiting for you to go away. You wouldn't stand it? Right?

Personally, I hated it. If it wasn't for my past conversation with my uncle and Kouji's presence, I'd had gotten the hell out much earlier. For example the day that Kouji returned from his vacations. The only thing that made it able for me to stand the worst morning of my life was the knowledge that Kouji would come that afternoon, and just his presence was enough to lighten my mood (although it could also be because Zoe and Jumpei never came to the library after-noon).

'That's it! The minute he walks through that door I'm going to ask- beg if necessary – to come to the service in the morning'

Good thing that I didn't need to beg him... much, to make him say yes, and guess what? He really did! He showed up at the library at 9 O'something after!

"Hi Kouji!"

"Hey" - 'not the best conversation... but at least I'm not alone anymore.'

Kouji went to put his things in the cubicle while I sorted the books. When he came back he looked confused.

"What"

"Don't you feel like something is missing here?"

"I'd say that something doesn't belong in here..." I answered him watching out of the corner of my eye the silly blonde who watched us from the other end of the library 'and she must swear that she's hiding, how stupid.'

"This place... no. It's you. Why are you so quiet"

"Uh"

"Don't tell me that you haven't realized? This place is just too quiet without your voice." - 'Wow! He talked more than the usual! But now why his face looks red?'

"Well, since you miss it so much..." - 'redder? Was it something I said?'

That was when our annoying boss walked by and looked at us like criminals and told us to put the example and be quiet. "What was that about" Kouji wanted to know I suppose that he was surprised by our boss' hostility.

I turned away looking for the nuisance, sorry I mean, Zoe still watching us, 'yep, still in position.' I couldn't help but shake my head a little so that the tiredness of her glare at my back would go away. "This place is not the same anymore" I sighed while Kouji and I started to accommodate the books back in their place"the only noise allowed here now is..."

rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii rhiii (Note: just amuse me and imagine that that's the noise of the wheels, which have never met oil, attached to a small cart used to load and carry the books)

"And she's always staring at you"

rhiii rhiii

"Yes."

rhiii rhiii

"I see."

rhiii rhiii

We still had a few more books to accommodate when she came over to – she'd say her intentions were to be nice and say greetings but the only thing she could do was - bother us. She was very straight forward when she told Kouji that he shouldn't be with me! 'Damn you crazy witch'. And guess what Kouji told her? Nothing! She ignored her the same way she had ignored me just then.

Very far from taking Zoe's advise, Kouji put one of his arms around my shoulders and used that to pull me away from that corridor full of management text books, without loosening his hold of me until we were in the cubicle.

"Takuya, do you have any idea why she treats you like that?"

"Ughh..." - ' no, not really. Is that a bad thing?' – I shook my head.

"That isn's news... she likes you and is probably jealous of me."

"WHAAAAAT"

"What? you can't believe it? Then whatever do you thing was the cause of that eye twitching? It started right after I touched you."

"But I thought you weren't looking at her..."

"Hm, I couldn't resist."

Thanks to Kouji I had a wonderful morning, too bad he couldn't stay for the evening "I'm going to work in a school project along with Koushiro Izumi err... you know him, right"

"Of course I know who he is! Why do you ask"

"Really."

"He appeared in the news - along with Ichijouji - two weeks ago."

"Hm... Izumi told me that Ken Ichijouji would work with him too."

"Ah."

"But not today, he has other things to take care of first..." - 'which I don't care' "But as soon as I see him, I'll ask him to sign me his autograph, do you want one, Takuya"

"No, thanks." - 'Ahhh! No! Yuck! Guacala!(1) It'll just be a waste of paper.'

Kouji left a little before 4 o'clock. I gave up a little after 5, since I found it a mysfelf too tired for some reason and felt I couldn't stay there another minute.

When I arrived at my house, Bella greeted – or at least that's how I translated her barking"Hello to you too! What's up" the small cocker spaniel was excessively active "Hey! do you want to go to the park with me? So you have a chance to do your business outside of my kitchen... " I put on her the pink strap (hey don't look at me! She came with that thing!) and took her to the same park where I had gone with Kouji and Koichi last Sunday.

"Bella! Bella" the little... creature had escaped of her strap, and as you can imagine I had to follow after her around the park.

guaf guaf answered the little beast but kept running off to nowhere. While I ran after her trying to put the leash around her neck, I felt a little embarrassed for all the attention that I was receiving for my attempts 'taking your dog for a walk should not be so difficult or embarrassing, however...'

if we listen what the Spiral of Things that Go Wrong says:

when you do something that makes you feel ashamed and you don't want anybody to witness your stupidity, everybody have the chance to enjoy your show

when you don't want to be the center of attentions, naturally, you become one

and when you don't want to meet with someone who might recognize you, of course you go and crash into the most noisy person who is going to shout your name as soon as they see you.

"Takuya" a boy with disorganized hair and goggles appeared right in front of me. He looked at the dog that had just done her graces next to a bench and turned back to me. "It's yours"

"No, it's... she belongs to a friend." Davis gave a look that almost said: 'Friend? Pink leash? Cocker spaniel? Weird...'

"Is this friend here with you"

"No, what about you? Are you with someone?"

"I'm waiting for Ken."

"Oh." - 'didn't he say that he had other things to take care of?'

"Yeah, we were supposed to meet here."

"Is he late" He shook his head, explained that he arrived too early and told me he was eager since he hadn't seen him for a week. I was about to ask him why they hadn't meet before (we were still on vacations after all) but that's when Ken came over.

I couldn't help but being hostile with him. Even worse, for I was still feeling humiliated, just seeing him brought back those bad memories, specially: 'If I hadn't been fired from my last job, I wouldn't have to deal with Zoe'.

After his arrival, Davis and I said our good byes, I glared at Ichijouji and they both walked away...

... holding hands!

Then I into a christmas light: changing from yellow of panic, through blue of anger, green of jealousy to red with embarrasment.

'Why did I felt jealous?'

I asked myself while I walked home with Bella in my arms (so she didn't run away again).

"Davis is an hypocrite, looking at me like I was weird when the weird one is him... and Ken. Gaahh! I wish I've never had to see that" I said to Bella (who else). When we got to the house we prepared to go to bed- no wait I did. Dogs don't wash their teeth or change clothes before going to sleep.

Though sleep was not the only thing I did that night. I had the most interesting dream but back then I thought it was rather scary.

In the dream I was back at that park, but I hadn't taken bella for a walk. I was waiting for someone. I could see myself waiting, waiting, waiting... and for a moment I thought I'd be waiting my whole life when someone appeared far away 'Is that the person I've been waiting for?'

This person walked towards me, but I couldn't say who it was. Instead of turning more clear as they got closer, they were fading. I realized how cloudy it seemed to be all around me. I felt my hand join to another one and it started to push me in one direction. I just let myself be led outside of the fog.

Then I could see more clearly and the person at my side stopped, it was then when curiosity got the best of me.

'dark hair'

'blue eyes'

'stripped bandana'

"Kouji" he turned around to stand right in front of me and asked me what did I wanted?

"What are you doing here?" he just smiled and kept walking, pulling me along with our still joined hands. "Were are we going?"

"To watch a movie." He answered me. After that I think my brain fogged I can't remember anything more...

The next morning I woke up feeling confused because of that dream. But just as sleep left me, I started to forget about it and gave it a logical explanation: I had seen something like that just because I had seen Davis and Ichijouji the previous day.

But my conviction vanished when I saw Kouji in cubicle. For a moment I thought back to the dream and felt the temperature of my face rise slightly, that is, until I noted the Kouji's unusual behavior. He looked tired but happy and for the first time ever, he started a conversation...

"Hi Takuya"

"H-hi... err, Kouji" - 'What's he doing with his mouth?'

"Yeah" - 'Is he whistling?'

"Are you feeling alright" - 'Is he humming?'

"Why do you ask" - 'HE'S HUMMING! Why...'

"err... because you, umm... you look different..." - 'or I'm going nuts!'

"Ah! That's because I'm in a very good mood."

"Why?" - 'what a silly, silly question' - nevertheless Kouji dignified it with an answer, which is a good sign of how happy he was.

"Well... first, Koichi is still in shock, hehe, he can't conceive that things didn't turn out as he planed..." – he paused to enjoy that feeling of satisfaction he got from his brother's pain, then "Second, because I am working with the one person I admire the most, so why wouldn't I be"

"With the one person you admire? You mean"

"Izumi-san, of course." - 'well, could have been worse' "I meant to two, Ichijouji-san, is exceptional as well."

"Errr, sure..." - 'Noooooo'

"You have no idea what is to work with them."

"I can imagine." - 'although I really don't want to'

"No, you can't, look Ichijouji-san does everything like this..." - 'Help! No!... I don't want to know how he does everything, in fact I don't want to know anything about him!' and since that time, talking with Kouji meant listen to Kouji say wonders about the one person I dislike the most... horror of horrors.

'Things can't be worse.'

That's what I thought, unknowing that my optimism just attracted more disastrous fates that little by little took all the things that gave me comfort. I believed that I could stand up to anything just as long as Kouji remained at my side. I could ignore his constant praising to Ichijouji Co., I could put up with the library's staff and everything would be alright. Besides, losing Kouji was something I wasn't expecting. Kouji had turned into a constant part of my life, and his presence something I relied on. Foolish me, when I thought that my stormy season was over, it turned out it was just recovering its strength to relief its fury on Friday and no, I am not being dramatic.

Kouji decided he no longer wanted to work at the library and went to work with his idols. But those weren't his words, he said something like:

"now that you mention it, Koushiro said that the project can be considered like social service and I had been thinking about... keep going there, after classes."

And what could I say to that? Don't do it? Don't leave me? Of course not! That was his decision and no matter how sorry I felt, I wasn't going to say anything to change his mind about this. Because I had this foolish hope that everything would work out at the end even if he wasn't there.

Boy, was I wrong!

Kouji's absence turned the library into a place I rather avoid going to if possible. School (along with Algebra II) started a week after that, more difficult that ever. A week after that, Koichi called me to tell me that he was going to pick up Bella (my last source of comfort). Koichi said that he would come to the house the following weekend. I saw a sparkle of hope at the thought that Kouji would come as well, but it was crushed when I saw him standing alone at my doorstep. Swallowing my deception and the desire to ask: 'Why isn't Kouji with you?', I listened to Koichi's complain:

"Those idiots can't think about anything but their stupid codes and programs and now they're working on Sundays... and you know why? Obviously because to them school, socialize, and even sleep are just a waste of time! Ridiculous..."

Since that day my dreams became nightmares where Kouji told me I was stupid and I had been just a waste of time. A recurrent dream at that time was the fight I had had with Ichijouji, but Ken had been replaced by Kouji who called me idiot and I started to cry instead of throw him a punch. Little by little all of this started to grow a heavy lump for me, until I couldn't take it anymore. I exploded again, and guess where? At the in the library. Again. I screamed at Zoe and started a fight with Jumpei, which got me a black eye and kicked out of my second job.

It took a week for my family to realize that something wasn't right. When they did, they sent my aunt as a peacemaker. Calmly, the man asked me what had happened with me and I repeated to him Zoe's story and how thing went from bad to worse from that point. How after I failed most my courses at the first evaluation I decided to drop school and dedicated to work exclusively, how several months of frustrations had gotten the best of me and another fight cost me another job. I talked to him about everything but Kouji and the nightmares, because they were rather personal and not really the cause of my immediate problems.

"If you want to take a suggestion from an old, wiser man. My advice is this: you should apologize to Ichijouji." said my uncle I stared at him with disbelieve- 'Wasn't he listening? Then where does he gets that apologizing to Ichijouji will solve my problems.'

"If you two make up and promise to never fight again, I am sure that we can fix something so you can work at the library again." - 'he means...' - when I finally understood, I jumped from my seat and ran out of the house with all the intentions to start looking for Ken any and everywhere I could think. It took me a few more seconds to react properly and decide that the idea was insane and remember someone who must know where I could find him. The problem was I really didn't know where to find Davis. Some more thinking got me to the obvious answer: Davis works for my uncle so...

"Uncle"

He gave me Davis' telephone number which I dialed immediately. Very quickly I explained my situation to the boy who agreed to intercede for my and Ichijouji's reconciliation "Sure! Just as long as I don't have to carry those stupid books anymore..." that's why afternoon of the following day found me and Ken shaking hands before all the people who worked at the library.

That's also how I got back my job at the first library.

I'd love to finish the story right there, but then I would leave you wondering 'And what about Kouji?'

So, here it comes. I didn't hear anything from him for about two months. All the time I felt like I missed something, although everyone who knew me thought I was acting distractedly as always.

Can you believe that during that time I became something closer to a friend of Davis and Ken? Davis is not much a surprise, if you could have seen us parroting at the library. But Ken? I don't know how to justify this aside from the fact that Davis and I acted as if we where joined from the hip. He even stayed to sleep at my house sometimes, and each one of them Ken showed up and - well I chose to give them privacy... (but don't let this fool you, I'm still a bit resented with him.)

Why did I tolerate that they went to my house to do... stuff. Well, because in exchange Ichijouji helped me to study for my semi-global exams, so I could go back to school (although I am not sure if that's such a good thing). That also reminded me of the time when Kouji had helped me to study for my Algebra exam - Kouji was way more patient that Ichijouji - blue intelligent eyes and dark hair 'What is it with me and this kind of guy?'.

At the library, my attempts to initiate Davis in the good habit of reading turned out to be an impossible task. By the time he finished reading the title of the book, his eyes where already closed and drool came out of his mouth. sigh that too reminded me of Kouji.

Honestly, I could see a characteristic of Kouji everywhere (or I was becoming obsessed, same thing). But still I didn't dare to look for him, thinking that he might not want to see me, or that I'd just be bothering him, or the one that annoyed me the most: He'd feel ashamed of me, just a normal boy who was nothing compared to the "brilliant minds" he was related to now like Ichijouji and company.

It wasn't until the second week of the third month, that certain someone appeared at my doorstep to give me an update of his recent life... "Kouji"

"Are you sure" was the answer of the one at my door.

End Chapter 16