A/N: Wow… I thank all of you who actually reviewed my last chapter. Holly said that a good kahuna scene would bring them out of the woodwork, but I didn't think that I would get as much of a response as I did.

Again thanks and I also plead for your patience in the fact that it took me this long to get the next chapter out. The morning after is always tough and I've had a Spring Break and classes to deal with.

That being said , I hope you enjoy this and also have patience with me since I have two HUGE papers due in two weeks for two different political science classes that I haven't had the inclination to start yet. I want to work on this, but it might take a little time. Thank you all SO SO much. You have no idea what it meant to me to see that people actually liked my work (or was kind enough to lie.)

Thank you, Holly. I wouldn't be writing this without your support and editing.

Chapter Seven

"I can't do this," Donna muttered as she walked into the front room, adjusting her dress suit for the twelfth time that morning.

"Yes you can," Dawn said as she fidgeted with her own attire. She was also a little nervous since it was her first day of school at Georgetown. "I know that you'll do just fine."

"Yeah," Donna sniped. "I'll do fine right up until the time he calls me into his office, shuts the door and fires me!" She tried desperately to calm herself before she burst into the tears she had cried all weekend.

Dawn was immediately by her side with a comforting arm on her shoulder. "I admit that I don't know Josh except from what you've told me, but I have a hunch that he cares more about you than you might see. You practically single-handedly saved his life after the shooting."

"You mean me and the skilled and trained group of surgeons, doctors and nurses who spent fourteen hours operating and saving him from the bullet and subsequent injuries, right?"

"Exactly," Dawn said as she pulled away and grabbed her book bag. "Just keep that in mind."

"Likely he won't see it that way as he fires me."

"Well," the brunette looked down at her watch. "I don't know what he'll say, but I think that your chances of keeping your job might be higher if you... make it there on time."

The girls said their goodbyes and goodlucks before venturing down the stairs. Dawn insisted on catching a cab and Donna was left to drive alone with her thoughts and Josh's car.

She had to smile as she approached the vehicle and saw all the trash, debris and various other items that were strewed all along the back and the passenger seat. Files that were most likely important enough that Donna had to make copies when he misplaced them were stashed in strategically obvious locations intermitted with wrappers from candy bars, chips and fast-food restaurants. She could almost swear that she saw the corner of a pizza box underneath a discarded suit jacket, but she was too disgusted to look. Sadly though, she had to admit that no matter how ghastly and pathetic the fact that this was the vehicle of a middle-aged man, she found it adorable that he still needed someone to remind him to clean out his car. She decided the topic to make that her final stream of banter with him in that moment.

Donna had never known a time when she dreaded encountering him as much as she did today. She knew that this was the sole cause for her decreased driving speed. She remembered the incident where she lied to the Grand Jury about her diary, but that didn't even begin to compare because not only did she write things about him, but she actually had the mind to act things out as well. Josh's anger that day was predicted, but with this topic she couldn't even fathom how much hatred he would hold against her.

Donna hoped that turning on the radio would help to ease her mind, but as she turned on NPR the first name reference would be one linking the current Congress's workings on the latest appropriations budget and the White House's closest tie of Josh Lyman. Donna switched it off as fast as she could but the damage was already done. If it was possible, the situation hit home even harder; she again realized how important and influential her boss and weekend lover really was.

"I just slept with the third most powerful man in the White House and Washington's most brilliant political mind. Can I die now?" Her wish was not fulfilled but she was able to prolong her arrival several minutes in light of road construction. She sat in silence, tapping her fingers incessantly on the wheel as she tried to tabulate what she would do without her job.

"I…I got a job offer a few years back. I can call him up and see if that Internet site is still available." She paused to chew on her bottom lip for a few seconds. "Or…I can find a job as a secretary for someone here in Washington. A lawyer. A…female lawyer. That's what I'll do. Or I will ask to be given a low-level job at OEOB. Maybe…why would he do that? I liquored him up and took advantage of him!"

She quickly realized that she was on Pennsylvania and now heading right to the parking lot. Donna panicked. "Oh God!" She tried desperately to turn around but she was out of luck and—before she knew it—was driving right into the space marked for the Deputy Chief of Staff.

She wondered if security would question if she simply sat in the car all morning, but she figured that a guard would come over to her after a moment and wonder if she was all right. That didn't stop her from taking her time as she unbuckled and made sure that her makeup was applied correctly before venturing out into the open world.

If she wasn't so sick with dread, she probably would comment on how the weather had taken a remarkably nice turn right in the middle of winter and made the air feel warm and spring-like. During this time of year, everyday that was not carrying the bitter winds of cold should be one to be cherished, but today Donna could find nothing to sing about.

She knew it was silly, but her first venture once in to building was to the ladies room. Immediately she locked herself in one of the stalls and told herself that she would never leave and therefore never have to face Josh again. Five minutes later she abandoned the idea when she thought about how silly it was for a full-grown woman to be hiding from her boss in a bathroom stall and took her leave of the restroom facilities.

She hoped that she could spark up lively conversation with Margaret, Carol, or anyone as she made her way to the coffee pot before going to her desk, but everyone was already busy at work and left Donna with no excuse to hover around.

After a few sips of coffee, she inhaled a deep breath and turned her walking toward that of her corner of the bullpen right outside of Josh's office. His door was open and he immediately called to her when she approached her desk.

"Donna! You're over twenty minutes late…from my late time."

"Yeah," she said absently as she set her coffee down and hung up her coat. "I was running a little slow this morning."

"Is the car here?" Josh asked as he walked out to her desk. The way she was deliberately accentuating her actions left little imagination to the thought that Donna wasn't moving quickly.

"I parked it in your space," she replied, handing him the keys without looking him in the eye. She then grabbed the messages off her desk. "You know that Staff has been moved back about fifteen minutes due to a NSA briefing?"

"Yeah," Josh said as his eyes narrowed and he examined her body language. "I already read the first five or so messages. Look, Donna…We need to talk."

"About what?" She knew that the innocent approach wouldn't work, but she was a desperate girl.

Josh's tone lowered considerably. "Friday."

She couldn't help but swallow and she was almost certain that Josh flinched as he heard it. "Well…do you want to do it now or wait till after Staff?"

"I have the time now, don't I?" He was insistent that they don't put off this discussion any more. In fact, Josh had been regretting not calling her all weekend to talk about it once his hangover took leave. He just couldn't muster the courage.

Donna was desperate to find an excuse. She knew that dreading it was probably worse than just jumping in and taking care of it, but she was scared to death. So scared that at that very moment, she was almost certain that she was about to burst into tears. She quickly snatched up the messages again as she turned to go toward the file cabinet. "Says here that the Whip wanted to talk to you before he went to the committee hearing."

"Kay," Josh said, resigning to the fact that she was determined to ignore him. He walked back into his office. "Anything else?"

She grabbed the file that she needed and followed. She knew she shouldn't but she was drawn to his fire. "You're having lunch with Shuller and at one thirty you have Parker. Toby wanted you to cover the meeting for him at ten in the Mural Room."

"The one with the guy from State about the thing?" Josh asked in dread that at any other time would be viewed by her as comical.

"There was an assassination of a Middle Eastern diplomat, Josh." Her tone was calm but in an air to remind him. "We have to make sure that we don't worsen the situation."

"Toby is our Communications Director. This meeting seems to be one that will be guiding our tones of communication."

"He doesn't like Dansen." Donna shrugged helplessly. Normally Josh whined without merit, but today he had a good point.

"I'll talk to him about it in there," Josh decided as he started to grab his briefing memos. "Anything else?"

"Not on the 'official' schedule."

He looked up at her with arched brows. "'Official' schedule?"

She smiled and nodded. This was her last moment of regularity. "Yup. On the 'unofficial' schedule, you have an appointment at about," She looked down over her memo. "I'll say about three thirty, where you go down to the parking lot and clean out your car."

He cast her a dirty look as he leaned over and gently grabbed her wrist to look at her watch. "I think I will staff that one out." He paused before releasing her arm and looking up at her with a cocky grin. "Donna, say at about three thirty you go down and clean out my car." With that he snatched up his folders and was out the door.

"I don't think so." Donna grabbed the ones that he really needed and followed. She then realized that he made plans for he to have stuff to do at three thirty. "Okay," she said meekly.

Josh paused and remembered the past weekend and tried desperate to amend himself. "Only if you want to…In fact, don't worry about it. If all goes well today, I can do it tonight. It is pretty dirty." He grabbed the folders in her hand. "Thanks."

She stood there in a stupor as he walked away. She didn't know what to brace herself for after Staff.

*~*~*

Josh had been dreading the conversation before him for what seemed like months, but what really constituted to only a matter of  hours in the grand spectrum of life. After he awoke Saturday afternoon and realized what he had done, he felt nothing but regret and refused to think about it from Donna's perspective. Sam had reassured him that she would understand and forgive him for taking advantage of their friendship like he had, but he was fairly certain that Donna was quite disgusted with him.

He told himself that he wanted to confront the subject first thing so he could know exactly what was going on inside her mind, but as Donna would see it, he would have to wait a few more minutes to sate his curiosity. These few minutes happened to be the ones where his courage laid and now that Staff was over, he dreaded encountering her again. "Hey CJ," Josh said catching up with her as they walked into the hall.

"What?" she said as she turned to face him and consequently earning him the attention of Toby, who had happened to be mid-sentence.

"I have a question."

"Don't answer." Toby was pouting; as he had been forced just minutes before to take the Dansen meeting.

CJ chuckled and looked to Josh once more. "What is it, Pokey?"

Josh arched a brow. "Pokey?"

"Well you are going really slow about getting to the point."

"Yeah…I was wondering that Donna's comment on how I needed to clean out my car is a deeper symbolism that she is disgusted with the life I lead and the choices I make."

Toby smirked. "Did you drink wine with your Captain Crunch this morning?"

"Seriously!" Josh said emphatically. "I don't understand women so is this a sign or a symbol for something?"

CJ was grinning. "First of all, the entire woman race appreciates the concession that you truly don't understand us."

"CJ!!"

"Second of all," she continued ignoring his complaint. "I think that Donna's comment about your need to clean out your car symbolizes the fact that you're a slob and have a dirty car that no doubt needs to be cleaned."

"That's…That's all?"

"Bored now," Toby said as he walked away. "This conversation is no longer entertaining."

"Yes, Joshua. I think that is all that it means, but I am sure that you will read something more into it."

"Thanks," Josh grumbled as he walked away. He walked on toward his office but paused in his step as he caught sight of her talking to one of the aides as she sat on her desk. She was looking at what seemed to be strict orders on what the girl was supposed to do with the file that was exchanging hands. He didn't know what he would do without her.

"It's as easy as that," Donna finished saying as Josh approached earshot.

"Can you explain it one more time?" The girl asked meekly.

"What?" Josh said sauntering over.

Donna released an irritated sigh before talking. "She is supposed to fax that over to the Black Caucus, but she's never used a fax machine before."

Josh nodded slowly, unable to calculate how you could get a government job without having operated a fax machine before. "Have you ever used a telephone?"

"Yes."

"It's that with paper." He immediately turned to Donna. "Can we talk now?" He took her by the arm and didn't wait for a response before ushering her into his office. He released her and walked to his desk once they both cleared the frame.

"Yes?" Donna asked.

"Can you shut the door?" Josh gestured as he took a seat. "And then come sit down."

And this is where it begins, Donna thought as she followed the commands.

Once seated in the chair, Josh began. "Donna, we need to talk about what happened Friday."

"We ate Chinese and drank beer."

"We also drank something else."

Donna tried desperately to think of a witty response, but she couldn't so she bit her lip and nodded in agreement.

Josh continued on. "This drinking of tequila led to badness, but I think it also led to some self-realization as well."

"It did."

"So, with that, I just want to say that I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry." Josh ran a hand through his russet hair as he reiterated himself.

"But…but it was my fault."

"No it wasn't. I chose to drink and I chose to do what I did. You didn't do anything but be there and let me take advantage of your friendship."

She was still in shock. "I thought you were going to fire me. Or at least transfer me out of your office."

It was Josh's turn to look shocked. "Are you kidding? I know it's horrible what I did, but I think you've seen me worse than when I'm drunk. I just felt horrible that you had to put up with me when you're already going through some issues and I have too many to handle."

"That's all?"

Josh was lost. "Well…yeah. That and drinking all your liquor and undoubtedly making a mess of your apartment. Wasn't it clean when I got there?"

"Yeah…but I thought that you were talking about the other thing." She was now gestured broadly.

"The…self-realization?" He asked mimicking her action.

Donna silently nodded once more.

"Well….yeah. I guess it's something that people have told me for years, but it took this incident to really open my eyes and make me see it."

Donna swallowed again as she bit her lip. This was more than she could have hoped for. She never would have allowed herself to believe that not only would Josh not fire her, but it would make him realize what she has known for quite some time.

"You would think that with people coming up to me and telling me this for so many years, that I would catch on, but it took an incident like this to make me finally face my demons."

Donna still bit her lip, but nodded eagerly with eyes that shone with encouragement.

"I'm ready to admit it to the world, Donna. I just ask for your patience and forgiveness."

"Yes, Josh." She was almost giddy as she replied.

He paused dramatically and cleared his throat. "I have a sensitive system."

"Huh?"

Josh's expression of contentment faded. "What do you mean with 'huh'?"

"That was you deep self-realization? I just thought…you know with what happened Friday and everything."

"That's just it," Josh said attempting to grasp onto her chain of thought. "I probably shouldn't have gone over there Friday. I had a lot on my mind and I shouldn't have subjected you to a… you know Me-Fest."

Donna was no longer a happy camper as she sat back and folded her arms across her chest. "Apparently we might be experiencing one now."

"Sorry." He was growing impatient. "I just mean…I went over there and got myself boozed up so I wouldn't have to think about my problems. And it took more liquor than Thursday, but still not all that much."

"Hey." She was offended by the thought since she had almost as much as him to impair her judgment.

"Yeah, well at least you remember Friday night." Josh sighed. "I don't. Good God, if I wasn't with you I don't know if I'd even be alive. Donna, I don't remember anything past a sip or two of tequila."

It took a moment for her to realize that he was waiting for a response. She sat there with her mouth agape for several seconds before she thought about how fate and irony would have it where he wouldn't remember.

"Donna?"

She blinked and tried to compose herself. "I'm…I'm just shocked that it took you this long. That and that you said you are grateful to have been in my company."

A sheepish smile filled his face. "Yeah. Just tell me that I wasn't too much of a hassle."

An honest response would be 'Well, you were kinda annoying when you were impotent those few minutes and especially rude when you didn't get me off,' but her actual response was, "You were a drunken version of yourself."

"Good," he sighed. Then he looked at her. "So is everything okay and forgiven?"

"If you're willing to call it even then so am I."

"Great."

Donna was relieved beyond compare, but there was also a great feeling of disappointment as she left Josh's office moments later and began to continue on with the rest of her day. Now that the dread was behind her, a part of her yearned to hear what Josh would really say if he knew what had happened between them. But as Josh had already said, he had a lot on his plate and she wasn't about to bring this to the table.

Some things were better left unsaid, even if this didn't feel like one of them.