TITLE: Personal Jesus
SONG
: "Hounds of Winter" by Sting
AUTHOR
: Alyxandria Jolivet
RATING
: PG
CONTENT
: Dark Themes
GENRE
: Drama, Horror, Angst, Humor, you get the idea...
SUMMARY
: Spin-off of 'Field of Innocence.' If you haven't read that fic, find it now and read it or else this fic just completely spoils the surprise ending. However, for the rest of you who DID read Field of Innocence and enjoyed it

Mercury falling
I rise from my bed
Collect my thoughts together
I have to hold my head
It seems that she´s gone
And somehow I am pinned by
The Hounds of Winter
Howling in the wind
- The Hounds of Winter by Sting

"He's quite an attractive little boy, isn't he?"

He admired him. Every part of him. Pale thumbs smoothed thin brows, long fingers brushed patterns over soft olive skin. The bishop bent forward, trailing warm lips across the bridge of the baby's forehead, nostrils flaring as he drew in the sweet scent. The child's piercing green eyes rolling upwards as he studied the man's curious actions. Clumsy digits wrapped around the wire rims of the priest's glasses, weak muscles tugging at the frames as Enrico's smile merely widened with adoration and love.

"He is a miracle after the Immaculate Virgin's birth of our holy lord... the child of virgins. The savior of wicked England..." Enrico spun on one heel, twirling the child who only shrilled with excitement. "It's a pity you will never know your mother. While a heathen, I admire her fire. I think you'd like her well."

"Sir.." That voice warmed the room with mirth. The heavy-built priest stepped into the room, milky jade eyes scanning the contents of the room. There, Heinkel Wolfe was snoring loudly as she slumbered at Maxwell's desk while a tower of toys enveloped a figure inside. Those sharp eyes bordering on chaos and gentleness lingered as they found the baby Judas reacting brightly to his father's playing. Irate at this scene, Anderson swallowed as he spoke collectedly "The surrogate mother gave birth..."

"Eh...?" Heinkel blinked awake, her snoring interrupted by the informative statement ruined by that thick Scottish accent. Wolfe supported her lank legs over the surface of Enrico's desk, her left hand loosely holding a Walther PKK, there was a certain relaxed atmosphere that clung to the office like honey to combs, an euphoria of peace and relax. The sister sat there, crossing one leg over the other and searching the room. "...Where's Yumiko?"

"...Here..." That once shy voice dissolved into something more foreword yet still retained that sweetness associated with the gentle nun. Hidden behind a mountain of toys, the woman sifted through the pile with fervor and great intention. "I... I thought I'd get him something he'd like... When I was a... a girl I used to take all of my barbies and made a... a nativity scene out of them... but it's really hard to put together a pregnant Barbie, you know. But the Jesus figure is easy, thank goodness. I just have to find Beach Ken with brushable hair.. and... and a few tacks for the nails... a red permanent marker..."

Heinkel rolled her eyes at Yumiko's less than sweet gifts. "If voo keep holding him, he vey never learn to valk, Father," the sister yawned while blinking back at the child in Enrico's arms.

Enrico ignored the sisters, gingerly embracing the tiny child closer to the warmth of his chest. The baby rested its heavy head under the crook of the man's defined chin, lulled to sleep under the pulse of his father's rich heart. Enrico stroked the blond head, tenderly tracing the boy's fat cheeks as he replied curtly "Father Anderson, what is the surrogate mother's condition?"

The paladin's features relaxed as twin eyes of jade twitched between Enrico and the two sisters. When he saw how Maxwell was interacting with the babe, his body became stiff and his features lightly irate. A finger adjusted the wire frames of his glasses more comfortably on his face, a thumb rubbing the sore spot on the bridge of his scarred nose as he spoke with a curt voice, "Surrogate mother is alive and well. She gave birth to five."

"Jeez! Vat's like a dog!" Heinkel blinked in surprise. However her attention was soon stolen by an unfinished lollipop laying on the desk. Assuming it was hers and not the baby's, she plucked the hard candy by its stick and ripped it off the wood surface before popping the cherry flavored orb into her mouth. Groaning, Wolfe glared sideways at Enrico. "I swear... Y'know how I hate kicking vis Nicotine habit. I told voo, though. A little smokey vould be good vor the boy. Make him smoke resistant."

Yumiko was busy piecing together scotch tape and toilet paper, reproducing the nativity scene very cheaply with dolls missing heads and certain limbs. "Oh... that's really awful. Five. It... it was really.. really hard enough to depart with James and T-Thomas. I really liked Thomas. He... he was my favorite, I think. I really don't want to have to see any of Judas' brothers go to... to America... Maxwell, Sir? C-can't we just kidnap them or something? I mean, what's the harm? They can be monks and nuns instead of being adopted out...out to p-perfect strangers!"

Enrico hummed, looking down at the boy. "I'd like that, Sister. But Lady Hellsing isn't quite as loving towards children as we are, even if they are her own. She would start a war if we stepped over the contract's boundaries..."

The Scottish man cleared his throat, interrupting the conversation. "...Four died."

Yumiko's gaze fell downcast as Heinkel looked over the desk, rotating the cherry pop with her tongue as she spoke off the side of her mouth. "Vell... vat answers vat..."

Maxwell grunted, sauntering towards the window of his office as his calm voice spilled from his lips like poisoned honey. "And the sex of the survivor?"

"A lass."

Yumiko's brown eyes lit up, their massiveness exaggerating by the lens of her thick glasses. The nun sat there smiling madly while crushing her Jesus Ken Doll and the permanent marker she used to sketch a beard and moustache over his perfect smiling features (and to draw in perfect wound marks over the palms of his hands, the fronts of his feet, and the wound in his side.) "...A little girl? Oh..! That's so cute! Father Maxwell, when can we visit? I'd really like to meet her."

"Sister..." Heinkel prevented herself from going into a spill, not wanting to evoke Yumie by disappointing Yumiko (which has happened many a time before.. unfortunately).

Ignoring Heinkel's interruption, the nun's voice piped as she spoke over the holy room and towards the baby. "Did you hear that? You have a little sister now! Isn't that cute..?"

"Pity..." Maxwell frowned, curling fine blond hair with a thin index finger as the boy suckled a plump thumb.

Yumiko blinked, confused "...What..?"

Well, here we go... dashing poor Yumiko's dreams and hopes into the dirt. "Vell. It looks like this vill be the genesis of another var. Too bad it'll have to be vought by brother and sister.." Heinkel muttered, before biting into the red candy occupying her mouth, tongue twidling with the stick.

"I don't understand.." Yumiko's eyes merely widened in question, searching the room for answers that were clearly not stated outright, confused by the disappointment on a day that should obviously be celebrated.

Wolfe shrugged, using the remains of the cream-colored lollipop stick to clean the red dye between her teeth. "I vought it vas pretty obvious, Yumi. Ve agreed to take a boy and zay agreed to take a girl. Ve are training ze boy to take back England from the heathens, and zey are undoubtedly going to train ze girl to eliminate ze Vatican's power."

"Almost ironic..." Maxwell hummed, joining in the conversation as he laid there tickled by Judas' smiling complexion as he dreamed. "If we are going to associate this inevitable actions with the past, it reminds me of Queen Elizabeth and Mary of the Scots.. Children born of protestants and Catholics, sisters by blood.."

"But not full blooded siblings," Heinkel began, raising a finger pointedly. "Zat's different. No. If ve were to compare this to anything, maybe the odd relationship between Radu and ze king Vlad Dracula."

Enrico seemed even more pleased at this association between stories, "Well... If only Alucard could hear that. I wonder what he'd think..."

Irritated that the conversation was taking an ill turn and directed towards certain distasteful monsters, Anderson shifted his weight to the right leg and relaxed his tall frame into the wall as the words flowed without pause. "Sir Hellsing would like te extend her congrat'lations in th'birth of her wee lass. She named th'girl Elizabeth Van Hellsing, an' also would like ta say th'Catholic baptism is scheduled ta be on Palm Sunday."

Maxwell clearly ignored Anderson, drumming Judas' back as he stirred away. The baby frowned at his father, groaning irritably before thrusting one hand up and grabbing onto Enrico's mighty Roman proboscis. "...A pity you will never see your mother... I remember when I met her only five years ago..."

"...Not this again," Heinkel groaned, hiding her face in the desk as a hand picked up as if it had a life of its own, fingers splayed and imitating Maxwell's mouth and gestures as the man in question clearly ignored his comrade's negative feelings towards the story as he repeated it again for the baby to hear yet not understand.

"She was nineteen, it was her birthday. She caught my interest when I first met her and she would continue to haunt me. There was something calculating about the way she moved, as if every minute of every day was a strategy in this mighty game called life. Overcame every problem dealt to her, solved every issue raised. Defeated the undead, won the war with her house pet, and even ruined her own inner demons." Enrico's reflection suddenly turned somewhat devious as he stroked the small body with the back of his hand, flesh warmed by the child's soft skin. "...But the one person who defeated her, I doubt she ever expected. After removing all her enemies from England, she never would have suspected to turn to the Vatican for assistance. Never would have suspected that the young man she encountered and thought she had defeated in an Art Gallery five years before would have the final laugh and win victorious. You see, you are..."

"'...ze living proof of my victory over vour mother.' Do vou have to keep repeating zis story? It iz so boring...," Wolfe grumbled, eyeing the baby as it suddenly lunged forward and latched a teething mouth over the soft tissue of Enrico's nose where it proceeded to chew fervently.

"Aww... He's so cute..." Yumiko cooed. "Oh, where's the camera?"

"For goodness sakes, Sister. Give it a rest," Heinkel muttered. "Vou've alveady taken too many pictures of ze boy dressed up as a priest, ze pope, and god forbid I hope vou didn't also follow through vith zat cherub gettup..."

"Cherubs are cute!" Yumiko whined defensively. "B-besides. I thought Sir Hellsing would like a few pictures..."

Spitting out the stick of her lollipop, Wolfe folded over and stomped her feet firmly into the ground. The abrupt move forced her shades to fly off her face and into the floor, bright eyes blinking as mixed amusement and horror crossed her face. "Oh Yumiko... Tell me vou didn't send those to ze Hellsing Institute..."

"I asked her too." Enrico said smugly, languidly crossing one leg over the other as he gently lowered himself onto the hardwood floor, "Is that all, Father Anderson?" Lowering his upper body, Enrico arched the knees of his legs and simply laid there spread on the ground with the baby on his chest, mouth still firmly attached to his ample nose.

"...No..." Anderson pressed a finger to his lips, catching a cough off guard as eyes drifted to the corner of the room, agitated by the scene of father and son. "Integral also warmly expressed your presence be barred from baptism."

"Vhat? Is she MAD?"

"Ooooh... That's not fair... I-I mean, if she wasn't up in that tower, she could've come to...to Judas' baptism. She was formerly invited and... and everything." Yumiko's brow furrowed with frustration. "I worked t-two hours on her invitation... you know.. cutting and pasting pictures of doves and crosses and... and working on that portrait of Judas as John the Baptist! That was r-really hard! And now she won't let us come to Elizabeth's..?"

A curious smile lifted the man's pale lips as he examined every piece and part of the boy, praising his ears... his neck... his hair... his flesh.. and ignoring Yumiko's ramblings. "I knew the former message was too optimistic of our Lady Hellsing... Well, Judas...?" Enrico questioned the tiny bundle crushing his chest. "Shall we invite ourselves? Pay your mommy and baby sister a little visit?" Still focused on the boy, Maxwell casually lifted a finger in the paladin's direction and flicked it, expressing his indifference. "Father Anderson, remind Integral of our contract's terms and tell her I will be baptizing the girl myself."

"Will do..." The man's voice was somber and depressed, brows furrowed and face lifted with some sort of disappointment replaced by jealousy as he glared at the bishop's interaction with Judas.

"You are dismissed, Anderson. May god be with you. In nomine patris. Et filis. Et sancti."

"Amen," Alexander crossed himself abruptly, spinning on the heel of one foot and finding his own way out with the sounds of Yumiko cooing at the child and jubilantly celebrating Judas' life with Enrico. Swallowing harshly, the paladin absently forgot to close the door behind him, his heavy steps echoing back as he stalked farther and farther away from the office. Heinkel raised one unshaped brow, knuckles pressed under her chin as she examined Anderson's curious behavior. Ever the woman sensitive to her comrades' feelings, the sister picked herself off the desk chair and trailed after Anderson, fingers snapping and rotating the weight of her Walther PK once before slipping it into the halter clipped under the layers of her coat. She slipped unnoticed out of the office and trudged quickly behind the holy knight as they turned a corner, following after Anderson as he stepped down the winding staircase.

"Vait..."

The paladin kept walking, the silver duster sweeping the floor in long swathes as he descended the stairs like an angel working its way down Jacob's ladder - with grace and measure. Heinkel kept following his trail, determined to make the man stop before they reach the second floor.

"Vait..." Wolfe extended one arm out, clutching a broad shoulder with her hand. "Alex, vhat's wrong?"

He stopped, flexing his shoulder as he stayed there determining his future destination as well as a curt reply. Neither came, so from the nothing honesty flowed from his lips like fermented honey. "...aye thought it'd be obvious, sister."

Blue-green eyes searched nothing as Anderson rotated around to face the woman. Even standing three steps above his footing, Wolfe barely reached his enormous height. Looking eye to eye with the Paladin, she cleared her mind and spoke in measured words. "Ve all vant something ve can't have, Alex. Vhat's why it's called temptation, and vhat's why we submit ourselves to God. To replace those desires for his better interest."

Anderson stood there silently as time climbed sluggishly forward, taking deep breaths as he revealed his gentle demeanor despite the buried emotions tearing him up inside. "Why should Maxwell be able t'submit himself tey God and get somethin' so preciou-.."

"Alex, stop zere or vou vill zay something vou vill regret," Heinkel warned, brows furrowed in frustration and pity.

Anderson's scruffed jaw set as he re examined his choice of words and searching for answers from an unfair God. He collapsed on the stairs, a thick frame supporting his weight into bent knees as he crouched there begging forgiveness for what he was about to say. "Sister, I've wanted one fer so long..." His voice was dry and choked, a curious lift to a man formed by strength and often times associated with sheer insanity.

Heinkel Wolfe's parched lips cracked into a sad smile, taking two steps forward then sitting beside the massive man. One hand flicked into her inner pocket lined with silk, gingerly picking out two cigarettes she savored from months ago and a custom made rosary with a lighter installed in the cross. Flicking the tip of the cross, she lit both cigarettes and offered a stick to the paladin. Anderson it from her, examined the glowing ember at the tip, and nonchantantly crushed it into the wall. "Vell... thanks fer ze vaste of a perfectly good drag," Wolfe groaned, regretting her kind and thankless gesture.

"Sister... Eveh since aye was a wee lad, aye wanted one of my own. Aye know aye take care of t'orphanage, but it's different takin' care of th'lord's children an' a child of yer own." Anderson scratched the back of his neck, trying to scrub the sinful thought away physically but to no avail. "Given technology tehday... d'ya think it'd be to sinful te have one? I mean... If Enrico an' Integral..."

"Alex..." Wolfe shook her head, sending threads of short blonde hair in a mess as she dragged the tobacco into her lungs and ruined a perfect nicotine suspension of six months. God fuck, did it feel good. "...zere zituation iz diff'rent. Zey vere forced to conceive through unnatural, unforgiving vays. Ze Pope vould never extend ze same lenience towards anyone ever again. Ve vould be playing God. Lord... I think ve are already damned... Zis iz ze first Virgin birth since... since... Jesus Christ." She shook her head, planting the palm of her hand against her forehead as she sucked the cigarette without bothering to flick off the ashes. "...I think ve damned ourselves for repeating history."

Lifting a scarred hand up, Anderson combined thick fingers through Wolfe's ashen bangs and clutched her out of comfort with his strong grip. He measured her appearance with his eyes, swallowing that gaunt look, curved hidden under layers of black cloth re-stitched and mended after many a battle. He searched for her gaze with those bits of jade, looking for her eyes under threads of dirty blonde hair. "That is all but blasphemous rumors, lass. Aye don't think God looks down at us for creatin' life an' beggettin' peace, no matter how short lived. Heinkel..." The paladin's voice lowered tenderly, stroking the back of his comrade as he shared the private moment with her. "...Didn't ye ever think about it? What... what it'd be like te have one? Te have a wee child?"

"...Yea..." Wolfe pursed her lips around the cigarette as she re examined her answer, "Zen I just look at how ridiculous Yumiko and Enrico are now zat zey have Judas, and I remind myself exactly why I don't want one."

A pathetic chuckle emitted from Anderson's throat in response to Wolfe's answer, a heavy head pressing into her own as he sought comfort from this woman. "Y'know, iffin ye weren't married te Jesus Christ, I'd've been sure ye were my soulmate, Wolfe." He turned to her, hands bracing either side of her face as he watched her tenderly. "An' I don't mean romantically, lass."

"I know vhat you mean," Heinkel smiled around her tobacco stick, lifting her hands to cup over Anderson's. "Spiritually."

Anderson's gaze drifted off to the corner of Wolfe's thin lips, a thumb brushing off a stray piece of lollipop she had chewed earlier. "Ye. Somethin' that extends from here te th' heavens. Lass, we weren't meant for this world."

"Who iz?" Wolfe hummed, taking one hand off of Anderson's in order to pluck the cigarette from her lips and crush the butt into the stair with the heel of her boot.

Nostrils twisting in distaste at the scent of tobacco, the paladin looked at Heinkel with new eyes. "Aye think we deny our soulmates til the very end. An' when we finally admit to it, it's too late, y'know? Y'look all over searchin' for that one person te be with an' te complete you. That person who brings out th' best of you, th' worst of you, makes ye perfect. Can't say ye bring out the best or th' worst of me, Lass. Or even if ye make me perfect. Call it a gut feelin', but I think one day ye might."

"Vell, let me start making you perfect now," Wolfe began, pursing her lips as her mind dipped into a thousand ways she could end this. Heinkel lived to be unpredictable, it's what set her above the rest. Perhaps that's why she was always paired with poor Yumiko, because it was her unpredictable nature that would unleash an equally unpredictable madness from a poor innocent little girl. It's funny how certain people live on impulsiveness and how easily it is to associate that dangerous attitude with stability. At the moment, Wolfe was thinking of many a ways to conclude this conversation and stun Alex stupid. She could very easily lean in and kiss him, however that would be out of her character and she didn't want to damn both of their souls and, let's be frank, she's never kissed and it would feel terribly awkward particularly in her case where she doesn't find romance particularly interesting. Now, she could just slap him... but then that might be a death wish. So, instead, Wolfe veys for the safe route. A simple retort. "Get your head out of ze clouds, put your feet on ze ground, and stop all viz thinking. It'z getting you nowhere. Wake up, ve have a mission and a child te raise. Ze only soulmate ye have to be vorrying about iz Jesus Christ, and I suggest vou look to him more than me. Now, son. I forgive yoo for your sins. Say three hail maries, four our fathers, and ze Apostle's Creed. Amen."

A smile cracked those deep-set features, humor sparked in those old green eyes. One heavy pat on Wolfe's shoulders and Anderson embraced her with both arms. "That was th' answer aye was lookin' for. Thank ye sister."

Wolfe just smiled as she returned the embrace, stroking comforting circles across the paladin's back and pressing hands into defined muscles she could feel through the thick silver duster. "Yer velcome, Alex. Yer velcome."

Author's Notes:
You had to read 'Field of Innocence' to get a better idea of what is going on. I really wanted to do a fic in the Iscariot's point of view since the birth of Enrico and Integral's children not only effect Hellsing in an important way, but also the Vatican. This is the first time I've ever characterized Heinkel, Anderson, or Yumiko. But they are wonderful characters, and I hope I delivered them with justice.