A/N: Thanks, everyone, for having such infinite patience with me. Sadly, I didn't start this chapter until this week—there was the DNC and the local volunteering and whatnot…and a bunch of other lame excuses, but there you have it.

And thanks to Holly, who is the only reason this story is being written. Thank you for literally writing out the outline that I was too disorganized to put together…like this sentence. And thank you for all the several ideas that I stole from you in the car. Emancipation proclamation, baby!

Lastly, thanks to everyone who has read/reviewed, as well as everyone who have visited our AWESOME website, The Order (hint, if you haven't gone, do so now). I'll shut up and I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Twenty-two

Donna didn't know what to shed her tears in the name of. Anger, sorrow, frustration, embarrassment, pregnancy, relief and dread all seemed to be worthy causes. The fact that she couldn't even decipher the emotion behind her tears made her sob all the harder.

She wasn't as upset at Sam as she believed was entitled. She was most certainly pissed. But it was the kind that had no chance of leading to years of bitter resentment and estrangement.

And then there was Josh.

Standing there watching the whole confrontation between the two men stirred her with more emotion than she ever could explain. She was saddened, enraged, humored and humiliated by Josh's reaction. And she currently she felt all of those toward the man himself. Along with pity. She pitied Josh right now.

So she decided that if Josh can pity himself, then she could too. Donna looked down at her gown and tried to straighten the lavender wrinkles before her, deciding quickly that it didn't matter anymore.

With a gesture that was more symbolic than cosmetic, Donna went to her bedroom and stood in the middle of the room. With a sigh of helplessness, she slowly reached behind her and undid the zipper of the garment until it fell to the floor around her. Gingerly she stepped away, avoiding the material as much as possible. She decided that comfort was needed in her life now and chose her clothes accordingly.

Sighing again, she walked over to the CD player and hit play hoping that something to soothe the feelings raging inside would come on to comfort her. Sarah McLachlan began to fill the air. "I don't know if this will help me or not," she murmured as she began to pace the room.

Donna knew with absolute certainty that Josh would be here tonight. In fact, she could almost sense that he was on his way. She just didn't know what to say, or better yet, how to say it.


Josh raced from the White House at illegal speeds. One for the fact that he wouldn't be able to calm until he saw that Donna was emotionally stable. Second was that he was worried that she could get herself killed in the distance from work to home. Only God knew how upset she was and how many tears had obstructed her sight.

That was why he was eased when he heard the sound of music inside her apartment. Then even more so as he heard her voice mingle in with the smooth tunes of an artist he couldn't identify. He leaned up against the door and tried to calm his own frazzled nerves.

Anger, fear and excitement were three hard things to control.


"Truth be told I've tried my best, but somewhere along the way, I got caught up in all there was to offer. And the cost was so much more than I could bear."

Donna quickly realized that the song wasn't going to calm her at all. But though it stirred her even more, saying the lyrics out loud seemed a liberating act.

"Though I've tried, I've fallen. I have sunk so low. I have messed up. Better I should know." She felt the truth in those words tonight. "So don't come round here and tell me I told you so."


Josh had been ready to pound on the door and begin his demand of answers. But then he decided to do something that he hadn't done enough these past few months. He listened.

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals

Josh couldn't breathe as he heard the lyrics.

And then Donna sing them.

And the lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I held so dear.

As he heard the gut-wrenching chorus another time, he softly rapped his knuckles along the door he had been leaning up against the past several minutes.


Donna heard the knock and hesitated. She thought briefly about hiding behind the couch, but knew that the stereo was up too high to make it convincing. She thought about just not going to the door, but then decided that Josh deserved more than that.

Finally she walked to the door. She turned the knob and faced the father of her baby with trembling conviction. Their eyes locked and neither one cared that the music was now blaring through the hall.

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Josh needed to do something. As he looked at her and listened to the music, he felt that words-his words- would be inadequate. So as the chorus played on, he slowly moved by her and deeper into the apartment, walking over to the CD player and turning down the volume.

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

She knew he was waiting for her to close the door before turning to face her, so she contemplated a final time of dashing out of it before shutting the room.

They looked at one another. They looked and they prodded the other one to speak because they themselves didn't have any words. Both knew that they should have something to say, but the couldn't. Not with simple words.

Literally five minutes ticked away, both looking at one another before tearing their glances away to various unmoving objects. Then finally back to each other.

Josh was the first one to speak. "Hi. I'm not angry."

Sleep has left me alone
To carry the weight of unraveling where we went wrong
It's all I can do to hang on
To keep me from falling
Into old familiar shoes
How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see

"Well isn't this ironic?" she commented.

"Just a little," Josh had to admit. Then with a sigh he continued. "We need to talk."

"I know," she responded in a semi-whimper. "I know."

Love has made me a fool
It set me on fire and watched as I floundered
Unable to speak
Except to cry out and wait for your answer

"Maybe we should…you know. Ditch the music."

How stupid could I be?

"The irony is helping to break the mood," she pointed out.

Everything changes
Everything falls apart
Can't stop to feel myself losing control
But deep in my senses I know

How stupid could I be?

"Turn it off," Donna decided.

As the room grew silent, both worked desperately inside their minds to form the perfect words. She spoke first. "I'm sorry."

Josh had been in the middle of working on his statement of bitter anger, but the sincerity and simplicity of the statement cut right though him. He drew in a deep breath and paused, then turned to her with large, pleading eyes. "Why? Why didn't you tell me, Donna?"

With all her strength she willed herself not to break down. "I thought that I was doing what was right." She took a breath. "I was wrong."

"Oh, really? You think?!" he yelled before pausing. He thought about apologizing but decided he was entitled. "I just…It's my baby. All this time I was pissed 'cause--"

"Because you didn't know whose it was."

"Yeah." He looked at the floor before looking back at her. "Why? Were you worried about your job? We were drunk, for Chrissake!"

She narrowed her gaze. "Thanks for calling me shallow. No, Joshua. I thought it would look bad for you if rumors started that you had spent a night frolicking with your senior assistant."

"But then you found out about the baby," Josh pointed out as he made his way to her sofa.

"Yes, the baby," she said taking a seat next to him. "After I found out, I knew without a doubt who the father was…I'm not that promiscuous, no matter how much you thought I was."

"Well, all I was looking for was a name!" he whined.

"Yeah," she smirked. "Well, I first had to decide what I wanted to do. I was really considering an abortion, but then I saw this mother and her baby in a deli and they were so happy together. And she assured me that it would all be okay being a single mother. By this time I knew that I couldn't tell you so I would have to be raising the baby on my own. Though now I have to admit that this had a real General Hospital feel about it. I was kinda an Alexis and you were kinda a Sonny. Though you aren't a mob boss and I'm certainly not your witty and smart lawyer--"

"Donna?"

"Oh, God," she said rubbing her head. "I have spent too much time with Dawn and Sam." She furrowed her brows. "Where was I?"

"I think you were trying to explain why you couldn't tell me. And why Alexis couldn't tell the mob boss and babies at the deli."

"Yeah…You understand why I couldn't tell you, right?"

After a blink, "No!"

"Josh!" She looked up at him in shock.

"Is it really a shocker that I couldn't follow that last thought?"

"I couldn't tell you because your career. I know how important this job is to you and I now that you would also do anything for your family. I thought that I could somehow in some deluded way safeguard your career while keeping you close enough that you could still be around your child…at least until this term was over. Then I had no clue."

He looked at her long and hard. Then burst out laughing.

"What?"

"Oh my God," he cackled. "You actually thought that would work? You thought that life would go on and I would have no questions about the father? That I would never inquire as to where the guy was?"

She shrugged helplessly. "I thought that you might just think that he was another one of my 'gomers'."

"Hey!"

"You have to admit that after years of crap, you deserve membership in the club."

"Look," Josh seethed. "Do you really think that this is the time to take cute little jabs at me?"

"Uhh…no." She looked down. "Sorry." After a second she added, "And thank you for not yelling at me. I know you have every right to be mad and everything, but--"

"But? I see no need for but. I'm pissed!"

She looked at the red-faced man before her incredulously. "I thought you said that you weren't angry?"

"Are you kidding?" He snorted as he stood to stare down at her. "I lied to get in here." He took a deep breath and then raised his voice my hundreds of decibels. "How the hell could you do this?"

"Me?! Oh this is great! You lie to get in here so you can bite my head off. Well thank you very much, Joshua." She stood, opening her arms in his direction. "Well go ahead, take your swings at the pregnant woman."

"Damn right I will! I can't believe you!" He began pacing the floor while keeping his attention and temper directed at one person. "All this time you should have been telling me. Over and over again you should have told me!"

"You don't think you would have gotten it in the first half a dozen times I explained it?" she quipped.

He gave her a hard glare before sputtering, "Fuck off. No…you had…" he flared his hands wildly in the air. "You had months to tell me and you wait until the Congressional Ball? The Congressional Ball?!"

"Josh--"

"You didn't tell me!"

"Josh!"

"Was I not worthy to tell? Was I only worthy enough to screw?"

"Not really," she muttered under her breath. Then she said louder, "Stop yelling at me!"

He was growing darker. "Why should I? Let me guess, part of this genius plan of yours was to run away to another gomer from the past. Dr. Freeride? Captain Wonderful? It could be like the last time! Huh?"

"Stop it! No!"

"Well if you don't think I'm good enough to be a daddy, then go!" He yelled as he flung his arm at the door. "Just leave then! I free you!"

"You're freeing me?!" she snapped. "What are you? Lincoln?"

"Emancipation Proclamation baby!"

"Oh c'mon, give me a break already!" she screamed in frustration.

But he would not be discouraged. "We had sex and you didn't tell me! Then you call yourself my friend!"

"Maybe it was out of kindness," she countered bitterly.

"Oh and where's the logic in that?"

"You were horrible!" When she saw that he was for a moment thrown off guard she jumped up and rejoiced in victory. "Ha! That's right! You were pathetic! Worst lay of my life!"

"I was drunk!" He countered. "And you weren't even worth remembering, so…Ha!"

"If that's your logic then neither were you cause you didn't even remember you got some!"

"How couldn't you tell me who the father was!" He was hysterical and now muttering things that Donna couldn't understand.

"Glad we can sit down and discuss things tonight." She glared at the raging man before yelling, "Care for a spot of tea, Mr. Darcy?!"

"Who's Mr. Darcy?" Josh demanded. "Is he another of your gomers?"

Donna was beginning to think that he was too pathetic to yell at. "He's from Pride and Prejudice you ass. Jane Austen."

"Well…" Any other man would have nothing to counter with that. Luckily for Josh he wasn't any other man. "Well, I don't need any pride or prejudice from you or Jane Austen! I have enough myself thank you!"

"You're making no sense now, Josh!"

"Well maybe I am and you just don't understand! Maybe I am the one making sense and you don't have any!"

"Josh."

"Let's go back to the Donna Moss baby plan: don't ask, don't tell. Do ask, don't tell!"

"Josh!"

The room grew silent as both attempted to stare the other into submission. Neither one had ever experienced such tension between themselves. That was also the key explanation as to why this conversation was failing miserably.

As the minutes ticked on, words weren't needed to convey their feelings, but the silence was slowly getting to them both.

"Emancipation Proclamation."

Donna slumped her shoulders. "Josh." When he shrugged she responded with, "Magna Carta."

"Declaration of Independence."

"Constitution."

"Federalist papers!"

"Articles of Confederation!"

"Mayflower Compact!"

"Treaty of Paris!"

"Dirty trick…Monroe Doctrine!"

"North Atlantic Treaty!"

Josh growled. "Stop with treaties! Sedition Acts!"

"Can we please stop?" Donna begged.

"Can't think of anything else, can you?" Josh sneered.

"Bill. Of. Rights."

"That's in the Constitution!" He did a small jump of victory.

"Conjunction Junction, what's the function? It doesn't matter! Can we please stop?!"

After a pause he shrugged. "Guess so." He looked at her coldly. "But I won."

A growl. "This has absolutely nothing to deal with the baby."

"You're right," Josh said. With more control than he had shown since arriving, he made his way over to the sofa.

Thankfulness coursed through her body as she followed to sit next to him. "So let's talk."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

A long pause coursed through the room.

"Yeah."

"Yeah…"

And things faded off into silence.