Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha
To Reviewers: You guys are too funny. I love you guys. I didn't get any flames! Oh and er...Rashi isn't a lesbian she just acts like it. But she is straight as a skateboard! Kyaakkakaka I love you guys sooo much you make me actually want to write. And a lot of you guys liked the kiss. Thought you would. Though my story is getting less funny, more intense...you guys still think its awesome. Which is great!
Reader Discretion is advised.
Rating: PG-13/R
Please forgive any misspellings or grammatical errors. Thank you.
Things you should know: Western-style toilet (American toilet) Japanese- style toilet –(Er...um...let's just say you have to squat to pee and poo...in a ceramic hole...thing. It looks like a Urinal (boys' toilet) implanted in the ground, width wise. (not standing up, laying down in the ground) There's ceramic tiles surrounding it...yeah...awkward...
l
l
l
l
l
V
777777777777777
Chapter Seven: Call Me InuYasha (O.O Will InuYasha finally tell her that he is an actual guy? Serious chapter but still has some funnies)
777777777777777
l
l
l
l
l
l
V
Kagome woke up a few hours later, entangled in blankets and sheets. S he groaned and yawned, twisting and stretching. She rolled over and off of the bed with a loud THUMP. "Ow..." Kagome said groggily.
InuYasha ran up the stairs, "Kagome are you all right?" He spotted her on the floor and laughed. "What did you do? Fall off the bed?"
"Taka-chan, did I fall asleep at your house?" Kagome asked. She tried to untangle herself from the sheets and blankets, but was unsuccessful. "Taka-chan, can you help me please?"
"Sure," he said and walked over and helped her untangle her from the blankets. "Yeah you did fall asleep at my house. Are you all right? You've been sleeping more lately."
"Oh I'm all right," Kagome laughed. "I've just been busy with my entrance exams and stuff." She untangled some of the sheets. "Taka-chan, you're really great." She hugged him.
He gave her a slight push. "Don't hug me, Kagome, please," he looked at her sadly.
"Why Taka-chan?" Kagome asked, as she stood up free from the grabbing sheets. "Have I done something wrong?"
"Yeah...you did something wrong by being you," InuYasha turned and walked out of the room. He wanted to tell her so bad. He wanted to say 'Kagome I am a man and I am in love with you.' But that was clearly impossible. It would not only surprise him, but her as well.
"Taka-chan!" Kagome exclaimed as she scrambled up. She ran into the hallway and watched as InuYasha descended down the stairs. "Taka-chan, wait!" And he stopped to hear her out. "What do you mean? What's the matter with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you. Something is wrong with me," he spoke clearly and certainly.
"If it's about you being a lesbian, I don't care! You're still my friend!" Kagome shouted.
"It has nothing to do with me being a lesbian. I'm just something else. I'm really different from everyone else around here," InuYasha said.
"That's not true!" Kagome protested. "Taka-chan you're the nicest person I know! You're caring and fun to be around. I'm sorry!"
"There is no need for you to apologize," InuYasha replied. "I'm the one who should."
"Why Taka-chan, why?" Kagome asked as she started to walk down the stairs.
"Kagome...I want you to get out...of my house," InuYasha said sadly. "Please..."
"Taka...? What happened to you?" Kagome asked as she faced InuYasha. "Tell me please. Something's wrong. You can trust me. You can tell me anything."
"I wish I could tell you Kagome," InuYasha said, "but I can't tell you. I can't. I'm sorry. Now please...leave." His hands turned into fists. "Please."
Kagome's bottom lip trembled and tears formed in her eyes. "If that's what you want, Taka." Kagome then brushed past him and ran out of the house, crying.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he whispered. "I...I am in love, but I can't be, not yet. Just wait..."
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
Three Days Later...Fifty More Days
InuYasha was sitting in class, pencil in hand. He perched his head on his hand as he listened to the teacher blabber on. He wrote a few notes down and then stopped as he daydreamed.
"Hey! Hey!" a guy's voice woke up the hanyou.
"Huh? What?'
"You're drooling on my sleeve," the guy pointed out.
"Why the hell did you let me fall asleep on you anyway!?!" InuYasha shouted, jumping up as the teacher frowned at him.
"Er...-"
"Miss Taka please have a seat or leave," the teacher instructed.
"Hell no!" InuYasha grunted as he picked up his stuff. "I'm leaving." He walked down with his high heels on and tripped all the way down to the teacher's feet. "Damn..."
"Miss Anamori, leave now or I will kick you out," the teacher pointed to the door as everyone laughed.
"Damn this," InuYasha growled as he stood up and left. He slammed the door and he slumped in a chair. "Man I hate this. The teachers are bitches. Always nagging."
"Well lookie here!" Rashi said as she clung to InuYasha, "It's the asshole!"
"Bitch," he shoved her off of him.
"Ooooh what happened to you?" Rashi asked as she handed him a caffeinated coke.
"I kicked Kagome out of my house," InuYasha growled. "I made her cry. I was almost going to tell her that I was a guy."
Rashi shook her head. "You just leave this to me and Kagura. You are so stupid, just like a guy, when it comes to love. You love Kagome as a woman...and you will love her as a man. Now all we need to do is get Kagome to fall in love with the manly you. Not the girly you. You need to start acting like a man. Act like you're InuYasha."
"...I have been acting like that..." InuYasha mumbled as he drank his drink.
"Not really. You're acting more feminine. I don't know how. You're still sending out feminine vibes. We need to change that," she said.
"Hold that thought!" InuYasha said and he ran to the bathroom. He looked at the signs and groaned. 'Damn why can't they be co-ed? Am I girl...or a guy...?' And that was when it hit him. What Rashi had been saying all along. 'This is where I choose...' He looked at the woman sign...then the men sign. 'What am I. A girl? Or a guy?' He then made his decision and went into the guy's bathroom. Luckily no one was in it and he went into a stall and started to throw up.
"Damn what was in that-BARF-coke?" he threw up again, gagging. He flushed the toilet as his stomach settled. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' he thought. He rinsed his mouth and wiped his mouth. He took out his cell phone and called Mushin.
"Mushin. It's me InuYasha. Listen are there any side-effects to this whole temporary plastic surgery? Well I just threw up after drinking a coke. I've been having mood swings too. What do you mean my body is probably adapting? You mean that I might turn into a girl forever? That's it. I'm coming over." He hung up before Mushin could protest.
He rushed out of the bathroom and Rashi followed him.
"Where are you going?" Rashi asked.
"I just threw up and lately I've been having mood swings since I kicked Kagome out," InuYasha explained. "Mushin, my surgeon said that one of the possibilities why is that the plastic in my body is turning into for real skin and body parts and soon I'll have a vagina but I won't be able to have sex or get pregnant if I do turn into a girl. My chromosome won't allow it so my chromosome is fighting it."
"Well it sounds to me, if you were a girl, that you were pregnant," Rashi said, "Too bad you don't have your period. That way you could find out."
"Well I'm a man and I'm a freakin' virgin," InuYasha replied. "Don't tell anyone I'm a virgin."
"What's so bad about being a virgin? Girls like virgins."
"Guys like virgins too," InuYasha looked at her, "They don't want to have sex with a recycled piece of paper that says slut."
"What?"
"Metaphorically speaking, but girls are like paper. If you use that paper once and that person throws it away to be recycled and another person wants to use that piece of paper and be with that piece of paper forever then they don't want some recycled piece of paper. They want a nice, clean sheet of paper," InuYasha explained.
"What if that girl really loved the guy she did it with?"
"What if he doesn't and is just in it for sex?" he looked at her. "And if they are in love with each other than they can wait till they're older, can't they?"
"You aren't a virgin," Rashi said.
He sighed, "You're right. But I wish I were. So I won't feel recycled when I meet the right person."
He got in his car and Rashi helped herself to the passenger side. "You're a good guy and girl."
"Whatever," he turned the key and started to drive, "Why are you coming with me anyway?"
"You need support if you will turn into a girl," Rashi said.
"Feh," he replied as he speeded down the highway. He turned sharply on the exit, making several people honk. He then drove into the parking space and got out with Rashi following him.
"Mushin, what's the meaning of all this crap you fed me over the phone?" InuYasha barged in.
He turned around and faced him. "It's some possibilities. Look here." He pointed to a rat in a cage. "This rat was a male and I temporarily turned it into a girl, instead of changing back he's been permanently turned into a girl. It doesn't make sense. I've ran tests, everything says he's a guy, but his physical body parts say he's a girl." He moved onto another cage.
"This rat is a girl who I temporarily turned into a male. I put her in a cage filled with males. They knew she was female so they started...getting cozy. Though she wasn't able to actually get "cozy" she had exchanged saliva with a male. The saliva in the male contained DNA as all spit does. That DNA went into her body and rearranged everything thing in her containing plastic, making her able to get pregnant. After she had the baby her male parts disappeared."
"What are you saying?"
"Listen carefully InuYasha, I did the same thing to a male rat. I turned the male rat into a female. I put the male rat with females. They, too, exchanged saliva. The male rat got pregnant and I had to do a C- section. After I did the C-section the female parts vanished. You have two things that could be wrong. The plastic could e adapting now and the only way to stop it is remove it now or...you could be pregnant. But knowing you, you didn't kiss any girl."
"...What if I did...?" InuYasha asked and Rashi stared at him.
"Who the hell did you kiss?" Rashi asked.
"Kagome...while she was sleeping..." InuYasha replied.
"You freak! Why did you kiss her while she was sleeping?" Rashi made a face.
"Well there's only one way to find out if you could be pregnant or it's just the plastic adjusting to you," Mushin said. "We'll have to...stick something up your anus to see if you are pregnant and then take a X-Ray. Are you acceptable with that?"
"Shit no! I don't want no stick up my ass," InuYasha protested.
"It's the only way to truly find out," Mushin said.
"...." InuYasha gulped. "Can you knock me out?"
"No can do. We need you to be awake so you can flex," he replied.
"Ew this is too gross!" Rashi said, "I'm stepping out. Good luck with the sticky up your assy." She laughed and left the room.
"So exactly what are you going to stick up there?" InuYasha winced just thinking about it.
"A camera on a stick! It's really thin so when we stick up the thing we'll be able to see if the plastic is indeed forming a bag for the baby. If not then you will be clean. How many days has it been since you kissed this girl?"
"Three," he answered.
"Hmm..." Mushin said. "Well it's possible...The substance in the plastic can speed up the pregnancy..."
"Tell me! Is there a possibility?"
"Oh it's commonly possible to be pregnant," Mushin said, "For you. Because the rats never lie. So in a week you should have the stomach of a one-month pregnant woman. In nine weeks you will have your baby. But your body could be fighting it. Your chromosome that is. So it's also a possibility that you won't get pregnant."
"Great that's all I need to know," InuYasha replied sarcastically. "There's a chance that I could be pregnant."
"Abortion isn't the answer here InuYasha. I think its time you tell this Kagome girl that you are indeed a guy and if the results prove positive you need to tell her that you are pregnant with her baby."
"But I'm a guy!!!" InuYasha shouted. "I can't get pregnant. My chromosome better be fighting!!!! I won't get pregnant. I'm a male. It's physically impossible."
"Well I am sorry to say that it's very possible in this world today," Mushin said.
"Damn all this," InuYasha said. "When are you going to...you know?"
"I'll schedule that for tomorrow at...four?"
"Fine with me, I have no classes tomorrow," InuYasha muttered as he left. "See you later, drunker."
77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
Kagome sat on the couch, doing her homework. She chewed on her black ink pen as she fumbled around, solving cases. "Let's see..." Kagome said as she wrote some answers down. "That should do it." Kagome sighed.
'What did I do Taka-chan? What is it that you are hiding?' Kagome wondered. 'I'd be the best person to tell...Or maybe she thinks it'll get me angry?'
77777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
InuYasha walked out of the office and turned the corner. He was about to get into his car, but someone yelled, "Hey baby!" He turned around and saw two men walking towards him.
"Hey babe, what's up?" the guy with the most hideous yellow smile sneered at him.
InuYasha rolled his eyes, "Do you have any other pick-up lines or is that just the one that usually fails?"
"Oh come on baby," the second guy smirked, "You're hott."
"I know that, I don't need some scumbags telling me that I am. Especially guys," he looked disgusted as he opened his car door.
"Something you like more about girls than guys, baby cakes?" the first man asked as he pulled out a knife.
"Oh no!" InuYasha screamed sarcastically, "Are you goin' to rape me with that knife? Well, I'm sorry to say this but..." He reached in his car and pulled out the Tetsusaiga. "I hope you don't mind that I have a bigger one." He pulled it from its sheath, "Bring it on, you naughty boys." 'Now that sounded odd...'
"Dude, that babe's got a sword!"
"Wrong," InuYasha tsked, "A very powerful sword." ((Ah don't ya love him)) "Now let's get started."
"Let's get outta here!" the other guy yelled and the both scrambled off.
"Cowards," InuYasha growled as he sheathed his sword. "Nothing but babies around here. Perverted babies."
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
InuYasha pulled up in his driveway and went inside to see Kagome standing there, waiting for him. "Kagome!" InuYasha exclaimed. "What the? Don't you females listen?"
Kagome looked at him. "Taka-chan, don't push me away." She had tears in her eyes. "You talk to Rashi about your secret...and a lot of people know. I asked them...they wouldn't tell me your secret. So please, Taka, please tell me!"
InuYasha looked at her, "Kagome, I can't. I can't tell you or..."
"Or what? Tell me!" she bawled as she approached him. She embraced him tightly, "Please. You're the only person I can talk to and you don't want to talk to me? I opened my heart to you. I don't expect you to do the same, but I want to help. It there some disease you have? Something? Anything that might hurt you?"
InuYasha wrapped his arms around her, "No...it's nothing like that. I'm not in serious danger, Kagome. But I'm just not ready to tell you. I will tell you, I promise I will. I'm just not ready yet. So please be patient Kagome."
Kagome sobbed in his shoulder. "Why...why...why...?" Kagome kept repeating it until InuYasha silenced her by pressing his finger on her lips.
"Don't put pressure on me," InuYasha shook his head. "I'm already in my problems waist deep."
"I want to be waist deep with you, Taka," Kagome whispered. "Please..."
"Soon..." InuYasha replied. "Kagome...want to know one secret?"
She nodded.
"I might be pregnant," he whispered.
"Congratulations! Who?" Kagome pulled away looking at him.
"Er..." he bit his lip. "I'll tell you later. Kagome, I just need your support right now. I don't know the first thing to being...a da-mom.
"It's easy...youe womanly instincts will kick in," Kagome assured.
'That's what I'm afraid of,' InuYasha thought. "Yeah..." he muttered. "Kagome...I need some time to think all right?"
"Sure, I understand," Kagome replied and let him go. "Call me okay?"
"...Promise," he replied.
The smile on Kagome's face made him wish that he didn't promise. She would try to milk out the information over the phone. Great. Kagome turned and opened the door and said, "You promised. Remember." She left and closed the door behind her and that was it. She was gone.
InuYasha sat on the couch. "Crap, I could be pregnant. This can't happen to me! I am the hot and sexy man, not the pregnant fat woman!" He slumped lower and grumbled incoherent words to himself. The painting of an American woman was facing him.
"Don't stare at me!" he yelled at it, "I can see you smiling at me you Homo Lisa!" He looked at the painting; the smile on the famous Mona Lisa looked more like a smirk. He grew annoyed and threw the pillow at it. "Yeah you're smiling because you will never get pregnant!"
He got up and walked up the stairs, slowly. He was in deep thought and didn't notice that he had stopped climbing the stairs and climbed an invisible step and tumbled to the floor. "Help! I have fallen and cannot get up!" He lay there for a while, staring at the beige carpet. "Damn...this carpet smells like shit!"
He pushed himself up and then walked into his room. He saw a movement out of the corner of his eye. "Who's there?" he demanded. He looked around his room. "Must be dreaming..." He walked to the mirror and then looked at himself, "InuYasha you look like crap!" He peered closer, "Hey a pimple. I think I'm gonna pop it!" He smirked and then clasped the pimple in his two fingers and started to process.
"Nooo!" a voice called out and someone tackled him, sending him into the toilet. His butt hit the bottom of the western-styled toilet.
"Oh damn now I have toilet water on my butt!" InuYasha cursed as he sat up. "What the heck are you doing here, bitch?"
"Preventing you from popping that gruesome pimple on your chin, ass," Rashi explained. "Don't pop it, it can leave blemishes. Little holes in your face."
InuYasha rolled his eyes, "For your FYI...Did I just say 'FYI'?"
Rashi nodded and grinned.
"Well for your information, bitch, I am a hanyou. Which means that I can't get little holes in my face because everything heals quicker and better."
"...Not fair..." Rashi muttered.
"And how in the hell do you get in my house?" InuYasha asked.
"Wouldn't you like to know," Rashi said in a singsong voice with a full grin. "It's my little secret, not yours. Of course...you have a huge secret."
"There are no secrets in this house!"
"Then tell Kagome that you are InuYasha, not Taka-chan!" Rashi said. "I'm against the whole 'lesbian turning into straight again' thing, but not against 'love'. InuYasha you are falling in love, yes it is a bad thing, and yes it's a good thing as well. Soon in a couple of weeks you can be a man again!"
"When is that Grande Ball thingy?" InuYasha asked, ignoring her weak, but true pep talk.
"Tomorrow," Rashi replied and then grew angered, "Did you hear a word I said?"
"I heard a word. The word that I heard was, bad," InuYasha replied. "Tomorrow is Friday right?"
"Correct, InuYasha," Rashi replied, "You don't mind me calling you InuYasha, do you?"
"No, that's my name isn't it?" InuYasha asked.
"Your male name," she said. "Can I have some food?"
"Damn you bitch! Is that all you do? Come and give me advice and then raid my fridge?" InuYasha demanded as he pulled his pajamas on. "Can I go to sleep now or are you going to keep harassing me?"
"I wanna watch TV," Rashi explained. "Can I watch it downstairs until I want to leave? Please? Pretty please?"
"Fine," he growled in response as he started to brush his teeth.
"You might wanna take your bra off," Rashi pointed out, "If the bra is on to tight it can cut the circulation to your boobs and they won't grow anymore."
"Do you think I want mine to grow anymore?" InuYasha faced her and toothpaste was all over her face. He spat in the sink and rinsed his mouth. "These guns can knock out anyone."
"You refer to your breasts as guns? I thought guys referred to their muscles as guns," Rashi thought.
"It's my body I can call them trains if I wanted to!" InuYasha barked. "Now leave me alone."
"All right, fine," Rashi left the room, closing the door behind her as InuYasha grabbed his remote and lay on the bed and flipped through the channels.
The hanyou girl/boy soon closed his brown eyes and fell asleep in the sea of red blankets. He had had a hard time sleeping that night. His back was sore when he awoke and nothing eventful had happened either. No Kagome disturbing the night. No Rashi screaming at the TV for Kusanagi to kiss Momiji.
He groggily slushed his way yo the bathroom, dragging his bare feet. He entered and began washing his face as he heard Rashi entered. "Are you living in my damn house?" InuYasha demanded.
"Taka-chan..." it was Kagome's voice. "I thought you would need help with your make up and getting dressed. Since you have no sense of fashion..."
He spun around and faced her. Then he mumbled, "Sure...I guess."
"Are you feeling better, Taka-chan?" she wondered as she entered his closet and looked around for some clothes. "Hojo's friend will be escorting you to the Grande Ball. He'll be here to pick you up around seven. So be ready. I suggest you were this red dress." The dress was soon flung onto the bed. "For the ball and this outfit for just everyday wear until then." A green skirt and white tight cotton shirt was thrown onto the bed, joining the red dress.
"Okay," InuYasha nodded as he grabbed the clothes and slipped into the bathroom. He pulled on the skirt, not falling over this time and slipped on the shirt. "Kagome it's hugging my boobs," he whined.
"Some shirts do that, Taka, you'll grow used to it," Kagome's voice could be heard through the doorway. "Don't worry I promise."
InuYasha came out and stared at Kagome, finally realizing she was wearing something different then the simple skirt and top. She wore red shorts and a white spaghetti string top. Her hair was tied up. "Where are you going?"
"I figured Kagura, Rashi, you and me could all go to the beach to relax."
"No!!!!!!!!! I looked really REALLY bad in a swimsuit!" InuYasha panicked.
"Wear a shirt over it. I'm sure you look great in a bathing suit," Kagome replied.
"No. No. You don't understand..." he had to think up something quickly. But what could he say? That he had that one thing where woman have mood swings and get pains in the stomach? What was that called? Or could he come up with something less embarrassing for himself?
He opened his mouth to tell her his real problem....
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
Crisa Rei:: Ooooh what will he say? I wonder. Yes I do. Just to let you know this story MIGHT have some lemon in it but I can't put it up on and I don't want to put it on or whatever. So I'm going to put it up on my site. I'll tell you when the lemon will come if I have some.
Also I appreciate you guys not saying: I'm going to kill you if you don't finish this story.' Or 'I will stalk you forever!'. I don't really like those Review comments. They make me want to write less. I know you all enjoy my stories and I want to keep writing them. Remember I need praise not threats.
I was going to say something else but I simply forgot....I wonder if I should make InuYasha pregnant. HAHAHAHA Wouldn't that be funny? I can play the scenario over and over again.
Anyways
Review
Review
Review
