A/N: OMG! It just took me forever and a half to get this chapter out! My sincerest condolences to anyone who is still trying to follow this story. I really do feel bad for taking so long.

And thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story. Especially those who have written me. I really do appreciate the emails I have gotten. You kept me from taking even longer.

But the semester is almost over. I have finals week coming up and then Christmas! YAY! I hope to get the story finished by the end on the year, but who knows.

Thank you, Holly! You are the bestest friend in the world and I love you for it.

Speaking of Holly, she set me up today a new LiveJournal account. I would love to hear from everyone and my name is TheRealMcCoy1. I should be keeping updates on my ATTP progress. Come by so I can check you out too!

I know that my author's note is almost as long as the chapter so I will shut up and let you read. This chapter is dedicated to Holly since her birthday is just hours away and to all of those who suffered a tragic loss on November 3rd. Never give up!

Happy Birthday, Holly!!

Chapter Twenty-eight

"It's a girl."

It was several blinks later before Josh spoke. "Huh?"

"It's a girl," Dr. Young repeated.

"But it has a penis," Josh said without thought.

"Josh," Donna said reaching off of the examining table to thwap him on the shoulder.

"It's fine, Donna," the doctor said with a smile. "And I'll be honest, I thought that it was a boy as well according to the prior sonograms, but looking at this today I really have to say that you are having a girl."

Josh was prepared to barter. "But what about the little…male parts?"

"Well Josh, I think that they might have been parts of the fetal sack that conjugated in a place that resembled…male parts."

"A girl?" Donna was glowing.

"A girl?" Josh said showing a twinge of disappointment.

"Yes," Dr. Young replied to both of them. Then she turned her attentions to the father. "And don't worry. I know that it sounds intimidating parenting a child of the opposite gender, but fathers often find that they have very close bonds with their daughters."

"See, you'll have a 'daddy's girl'," Donna smirked. "I lost the 'momma's boy'."

"A girl?" Josh asked with more optimism.

"So, I'm okay?" Donna asked once more.

"Trust me, I saw no complications when I examined you last week and I see none today. I would say that the cause for your discomfort is actually a mild case of indigestion."

"Just indigestion?" Donna questioned.

"It's relatively common during pregnancy."

Josh had more important things on his mind for the second. "A girl?"


"Lamaze?" Josh whined as he momentarily turned from unlocking the front door to wrinkle his nose in disgust.

"Dr. Young said that we should have started sooner, but we can make up for lost time in a few extra classes."

"Lamaze?" He whined once again as he opened the door and escorted her inside.

"If you don't want to I can find someone else to go with me."

"I just don't know if I have the time."

She glared at him. "I'll just ask someone else, Josh. Maybe Toby can help me out since he made the time for Andi and his children. Or Leo. Oh, I know! I bet the President went to the classes with-"

"Let Jenna know the class times and I'll be there," he sulked as he walked her to the sofa. "Are you sure that you don't want some lunch before I go back to work?"

"Nah. I just want to wash the rest of the jelly off of my belly." She snickered at the rhyme before realizing that he was staring at her confusedly. "And take a nap."

"'Kay." He looked around her apartment to see if there was anything that he could possibly do. "Then in that case…I guess I'll head back."

"Do you want to come over for dinner? Dawn will be home at a reasonable hour and I think Sam was coming over."

"Maybe," he said getting an odd tenor to his voice. "I'll call you later and let you know."

"Okay," she muttered as he turned and headed out the door.


Josh felt that he was justified for his nervousness. They had shared that one night of romance what felt like weeks ago and had not spoken of it since.

Though that is not to say that it had not gone unnoticed. It was obvious to him, and he knew to her as well, that they were closer than ever been before and that she was quick to grab his hand whenever he took her out to look at baby furniture.

If he was fully honest with himself, they were a couple in every sense but the word.

He just didn't want to be honest.

And he didn't want the pressure of what looked in many ways to be a double date with his other best friend. Josh inwardly groaned as reason consumed him and he realized that it really wasn't the case. Donna was merely inviting him to the evening meal and he had jumped to crazy conclusions.

More than likely because they were overdue on a conversation.


Donna sighed as hung up the receiver. After all the apparent stress the invitation caused Josh, Dawn called to say that Sam was working late and therefore she was just going to bring him some pizza.

"Go figure," she mumbled. This dinner was supposed to serve as a distraction from her current Josh confusion.

She knew that they hadn't talked about the kissing and the commitment that they seemed to silently vow for one another, but she felt that it was understood by both parties. Though at times, like this one, she wasn't sure.

She had decided what seemed years ago that she loved him. That wasn't the issue. And there wasn't even really an issue in her mind that he didn't care for her as well to some degree. Anyone could see it in his eyes.

Though deep down she was afraid. Not afraid that he wouldn't be there for her or care for her. Not afraid that his intentions weren't good in every sense of the word. She was afraid that it wasn't really her that he was kissing.

Though in the literal sense, she knew it was her that he kissed. She simply didn't know if the kisses were the result of his affection toward Donna Moss or if they stemmed from the affection to the baby she carried. If they weren't just his way of reassuring stability to the baby and therefore her as well.

She knew she was hormonal and very pregnant, but she thought that they were legitimate concerns. Concerns that needed to be addressed.

Though she was afraid of what she might discover.


"Lamaze?" CJ smirked. "Can I bring my camera?"

"No," the Deputy Chief of Staff snipped.

"You didn't make this big of deal when I took Andi," Toby pointed out as he munched on another M&M.

"No," the redhead reasoned. "But that was mainly because you aren't Josh. Lamaze signifies that you are planning on being in the delivery room for the birth as a means of support to the mother. Josh gets woozy at the sight of the flu vaccines."

"It was just because I hadn't eaten that day."

"Josh, you passed out when I cut my finger last year."

"I was sick! The doctor said I had pneumonia."

"Dr. Bartlet said that you had a cold," the Communication Director chuckled. "Maybe."

"It was a really nasty cut. You had to go to the hospital."

"I got two stitches."

"See!"

"Josh," CJ said softly. "There is going to be quite a bit more blood than my cut finger. Hell, you'll probably see more blood at the Lamaze class than my finger."

"Huh?" Josh was already paling.

"They sometimes show those videos of the woman giving birth," Toby elaborated. But as he saw his friend go still, he hastily added, "But not always. Depends on the class."

"Oh." Josh leaned back in his chair.

"So it's when?" CJ smirked.

"Donna was going to call and get it scheduled," the sickened man said absently.

"Can I bring a camera?"

"No."

"Is Josh available?"

"Just a minute Donna. He just got out of a meeting with CJ and Toby."

Seconds later, Donna heard the familiar voice hit the line. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," she had to smile. "But what about you?"

"Yeah," he said with the high pitched note of false conviction.

"Josh."

"CJ and Toby were just talking to me about Lamaze class."

"Really? Well, I just called and got us scheduled for a class tomorrow evening. You can talk to Jenna, but I'm pretty sure that you'll be free since the vote is already in the bag and will be over by then." Then she understood. "You're already backing out," Donna sighed as she sunk deeper into her chair.

"I didn't say that," he said in defense.

"It's fine," she assured as her eyes began to fill with tears. "I was calling to tell you that if you were considering dinner tonight, which I know you weren't, it's cancelled. Sam is working late and Dawn is bringing him food."

"Donna." It was apparent that she was getting upset.

"It's fine, Josh." Emotion was seeping out of her voice and she resented every second. "I'll get someone else. Hey, Dawn has helped Kelly out with both of her kids. But have a good night."

"Donna," he began, but the line was already dead. "Dammit," he groaned as he put the phone on the hook and his head upon the desk. With a deep breath he raised up to look at his watch.

"It's 7:05?"

"Yeah."

"That's ridiculous."

"I'm not making it up."

"My watch says ten to seven."

"That's 'cause your watch sucks."

"My watch is fine."

"Your watch says ten to seven."

"How do I know it isn't ten to seven?"

"Because those large clocks on the wall that are run by the US Navy say your watch sucks. In fact, they say your watch sucks in four different time zones."

"That's it," Josh declared as he hopped out of his chair and grabbed his backpack. He didn't care what time it was. This was the moment of no turning back. This was the time for him to finally admit his love to the woman who had held his heart for so many years. He wasn't going to let her sit at home and cry over something as small as a Lamaze class when there were real issues to be dealt with.

He headed out the door and was halfway out of the bullpen. He wouldn't have stopped had it not been one of the two men in the country that outranked him. "Josh!"

He slowed to a stop, but refused to turn around. "This isn't happening."

"Josh," the Chief of Staff repeated as he neared.

"Leo," he whined as he finally turned to face his boss.

"We need to get on the phones."

Josh gave an incredulous stare. "No."

"Look, Whitman has turned it into a thing."

"I talked to Whitman this morning and he's voting with us. And I'm having my epiphany moment." With that he turned to head toward the parking lot.

"We just got off the phone with him and he says that he's switching votes unless we hear his amendment proposals. That means that he'd pull with him-"

"Why does God hate me?" the younger man asked the ceiling as he tossed his bag to the ground.

"Yeah," Leo muttered as Josh slowly faced him once again. "Let's fix this."

"Yeah."

"Your epiphany moment?" Leo questioned as he began to head back to his own office.

"It's nothing that hasn't been, you know, half a dozen years and a baby in the making."

"Okay."

"Is it because I'm Jewish?" he muttered to himself as he headed back to his desk. "Because I am supposed to be one of His Chosen people."

"Is there anything you want me to do?" Jenna asked as he walked by.

"Chosen for what, I am beginning to question."

"Huh?"

"Get me Whitman," he called as he slammed his door shut.


"You okay?" Dawn asked once again.

"Just indigestion," Donna replied with a sniffle and a nonchalant wipe of her tears.

"Yeah," her roommate concurred as she lovingly rubbed her back.

"I don't think I ask for too much," the blonde woman said suddenly. "I don't demand that he pay child support or that he even tell everyone that he's the father."

"I know."

"I don't tell him that he has to sign over rights or that he can't keep the baby for extended periods of time."

"That's nice."

"I am even planning on letting the baby have his last name unless he thinks that it might cause too much trouble."

"Isn't CJ planning on announcing it in a few weeks?"

"She is, unless they rule that it won't be good."

"But I thought that they said they were only waiting to distance the coverage of your leaving with the paternity issue."

"He could change his mind between now and then."

"He won't."

"I wasn't even going to force him to the Lamaze class. I just thought that he might want to go since he had talked on the way over there about how he was looking forward to all the little baby things."

"He's just nervous. And so are you."

"And I didn't force him to kiss me either."

Dawn paused. She knew that the two of them had acted a little different the past week or so, but she had no idea that their relationship had progressed that much. "Well, that's always good."

"And he doesn't have to pretend like he cares about me, when it's just the baby he wants. And he doesn't even have to care about the baby."

"You know he cares about the baby."

"I know," she sighed as she completely disregarded the nonchalant in her crying.

"And you know he cares about you too."

Donna's response wasn't as fast. "I know he cares about me. We go way back and I know that we have always been friends even when we were coworkers."

"It's deeper than that."

"I know that we have a bond, aside from the baby. And I know he cares about me," she accredited. "I just don't think he cares about me."

The brunette snickered. "He cares."

"I don't think he loves me like I love him." Donna quickly realized her words as her eyes went wide.

"It's about time," Dawn grinned.

A few quiet seconds passed before Donna spoke. "I have never admitted that to anyone. Not even my mom."

"Color me surprised."

"It's…" she began to cry once again. "It's hard…knowing that it will never work out."

"Well, you did choose the most difficult specimen of the male gender."

"Don't remind me," she chuckled as the tears continued to roll. "I'm so sorry," the blonde woman said as she began to attempt to dry her face in vain. "I'm blubbering here like an idiot when you have much better things to do than tend to me."

"It's just the indigestion," Dawn reminded.


Just as Dawn got Donna to eat some crackers and go to bed, she heard the knock on the door. Looking at her watch, confusion filled her. Just before midnight, if it was Sam coming by then she would be a wonderfully surprised gal, but if it was her family alerting her to the next end of the world she would be horrifically disappointed.

When she opened the door, she didn't know the exact emotion. Instead she responded with the first words that came to mind. "Evening, Indigestion."

Josh gave a quizzical look, but decided not to comment. "Are you guys still awake?"

"No," she said hiding all sarcasm. "I open doors in my sleep as well as carry on conversations."

He rolled his eyes. "Is Donna awake?"

"Also, I like to sleep completely dressed with the lights all on."

"You've been around too many wise-asses lately."

"You have no idea the wise-asses I've known."

"Yeah," he replied as he stepped in on her invitation.

"Look," Dawn said with complete sincerity. "She's pretty…dismayed tonight. I just got her to lay down and I really think it would be better if you just call or stop by tomorrow."

"Is it about me?"

"It's about a lot of things." She paused a moment. "But it's mostly you or things that came out of your body and entered hers."

Josh cringed at that. "Damn, Dawn."

As she shrugged a blonde woman appeared over her shoulder. "Josh?"

"Great," the brunette muttered as she threw her hands up in the air in surrender.

"Is everything okay?" Donna asked.

"Yeah," he quickly assured. "I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in bed."

Dawn turned her attention to Donna. "Are you going to be alright if I go in the other room?"

"Yeah," the other woman replied with a tired smile. "Go on and get some rest. Don't you have an exam tomorrow?"

She nodded and gave a brief look to Josh before turning to her friend once more. "You know where I am if you have any more indigestion problems in the night."

"Thanks."

An awkward silence filled the room as Josh and Donna were left to look at one another. Both stealthily avoided eye contact until a loud gurgle came from Donna's stomach. At the response of Josh's raised eyebrows, Donna shrugged and blushed. "The baby is deciding whether she liked dinner or not."

"I can come back later. I just wanted to apologize for upsetting you on the phone."

It hadn't even been five minutes and she was about to cry. She turned and faced away from him as she pretended to worry about the cleanliness of the kitchen. "It's fine, Josh. I really understand your apprehension."

"Really?" Josh wasn't considering backing out. Well, not too seriously. But it was nice to know that she understood what he was currently facing.

"No," she spat as she turned to face him. "I don't see why you get the chance to back out when I have to go through it all. Men always brag about how macho and tough they are and belittle women. But doesn't it seem that the bravest ones are the same jackasses that skip out on the delivery. Doesn't it seem that the strongest of men are the ones that bail out on the doctor's appointments and don't go to the baby's doctor when they have to get their shots." She took a deep breath and looked him in the eye as her hands protectively rubbed her womb. "The tough guys belittle the woman, but then don't have the guts to stand beside her."

"Donna." The wounds she inflicted seeped from his eyes.

"And just so you know, Joshua Lyman, as weak and fragile as I may be, being a woman and all." Extra bitterness filled her last words. "I will always have the guts to stand beside you. Whether I want to or not."

"I was planning on going to Lamaze with you."

The words were enough to quiet her. In fact, they were enough for her to decide that she better stop making herself sick with stress and sit down. Even after she finally plopped in the nearest cushioned chair, silence filled the room.

"Well, that's good to know."

Josh smirked at her simple statement, but said nothing more. "I came here to talk about more than Lamaze classes, but I think that it better wait until later. It's getting late and it looks like we've both had pretty long days."

"Yeah," she sighed and made her way back to standing. "It would probably be best to talk about everything tomorrow."

He smiled at her. "Go on to sleep. I'll make sure that the door locks behind me."

Exhaustion hit her like a train. "Okay." She smiled before turning to head to her room. She would try to argue with him, but she just didn't have the strength to try and sate her curiosity.

Josh stood there watching her waddle toward the hallway. He watched move farther away from him and suddenly had the feeling that the distance was more than what met the eye. He felt that he was losing his one opportunity to express how he truly felt. His one opportunity to have the guts to stand beside her.

"I love you."

As the words hit her ears, she came to a complete stop. But it took several more seconds to fully comprehend what he had just said. Slowly she turned around and looked him straight in the eye. "Josh?"

He was shaking now. He had no idea that he was going to blurt it out so quickly. "I love you," he repeated as much for clarity as for the sake that hearing the words hit his own ears once more would give him confidence.

Tears instantaneously began to flow down her face. Disbelief as well as a feeling that it was all joke filled her conscience. "No you don't."

He looked at her in dismay. "Donna. Yes, I do."

She was shaking her head incessantly. "No you don't. No you don't. You don't love me. You love the baby. And I can accept that because I don't want you to love me just because of the baby."

"I don't love you because of the baby. I loved you even before the baby."

Time stopped. It seemed that heaven and earth had came crashing to a halt. It didn't matter that it was midnight and possibly the worst time in history for the confession that had been over half a decade in the making. The fact was that the truth was finally coming out.

She couldn't help it. "Are you drunk, Josh?" That seemed the only feasible explanation.

He grunted which was quickly followed by a classic whine. "Donna."

That was proof enough that it was true. Even in her dreams she didn't know if she could have perfected the perfect Josh reaction to a moment like this. "You love me." The tears she never stopped shedding regained momentum once more.

A smile spread across his face as he saw the look of amazement on her eyes. "Yeah. I do."

Emotion broke and she started to giggle. "You love me." She laughed outright in the midst of her crying.

Now Josh wasn't sure whether to be relieved or embarrassed by his confession. Her reaction was not what he expected. Though he had no idea what to expect when he imagined this moment in his mind. "Yeah."

"You don't love the baby," she giggled.

"I do love the baby," he clarified. "I just loved you first."

"I just…you love me."

He couldn't help but grin. "I love you, Donnatella Moss."

"I bet I loved you first," she countered.

He was prepared for one epiphany tonight, but this was a whole different situation. "You…you love me?" he choked out seconds later.

She couldn't stop her laughter from bubbling through. "Well, duh. People have been calling me on it for years."

"They have?"

Her laughter ceased as she realized her statements. A crimson blush came to her already flush cheeks. After taking a couple of soothing breaths, she admitted. "Yeah. Even Amy called me on it."

"Me too," he confessed causing Donna's eyes to widen. "CJ says we've been fooling no one but ourselves."

"Really?" She knew that her sleuth skills weren't too sharp, but that's pathetic.

"She says that that's the real reason why she's not worried about when the press gets hold of the story. Because everyone saw it coming." He sighed. "Pretty pathetic, eh?"

"Just a little."

"At least we fooled ourselves." He looked at her face. "Or do you think that's what makes it worse?"

She nodded. "I really do."

A smirk overcame him as it all hit home. "You love me."

She took on a similar look. "And you love me." Her satisfaction increased as he came to stand just inches away from her face.

"For the record, I win."

She cocked a brow. "How's that? You got me?"

"No. I said it first."

She pondered the thought for a moment. "I win."

"You do not," Josh snapped.

"Since it took us over six years, I think that the object of the game was to see who could hold out longer. And that would clearly make me the winner and you, Joshua Lyman, the loser. So ha!"

He stared in awe of her incredibly screwed up logic. "I love you."

She blushed. "I love you, too."

They leaned in close before both pulled back and looked at one another. "Wow," they commented in unison.

"It feels really weird saying that, but I can't stop," Josh admitted.

"It feels almost liberating," Donna agreed.

"I bet we could make a contest out of who's said it more times tonight. If we did, I would so kick you ass."

"Shut up," she muttered as she kissed him soundly on the lips, wrapping her arms around his neck.

The kiss sealed their fate and neither one had anything to complain about.

"Josh?" she murmured as their mouths continued to explore one another.

"Hmm?" He continued to caress her with his lips and arms.

She pulled back slightly. "Josh, I'm hungry."