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Codswallop
Ch 3
"God's piss!" Elizabeth swore. "Amanda, I'm afraid I have fallen in love."
"With whom, may I ask?"
"That bloody Frenchman, Patrick, as it were." She replied. "He has such an erogenous effect on me. I cannot get his lad out of my mind."
"Are you sure that's safe?" Amanda asked. Stephanie picked her nose, and flicked a booger at Amanda. Amanda caught it and put it into her mouth.
Elizabeth grimaced. "What do you mean is it safe?" Elizabeth turned to walk down the dark alley "I'll find a way to make him mine, savvy?" She had acquired her pirate lingo over the last couple years, and had put it to good use. She turned back to Stephanie, Amanda, and Jhanille. Jhanille was picking and eating lice from Amanda's hair, while Stephanie licked herself.
"I think I may have been a cat in my former life." Stephanie said, and continued licking (see Part 7 of Yo Ho). "That Patrick feller of yours is quite the looker."
"Do not speak of him so! Oh how I do wish harm upon you, Anna Maria!" Elizabeth yelled, then began to choke.
Back in the house, everyone was having breakfast, and talking of Elizabeth.
"Since she likes you, Patrick, we must set a trap for her." Jenni offered.
Patrick frowned. "If only the French were not so sexy." He sighed.
"I agree." Said Will sarcasticly. "We can leave Patrick naked on a bed, then Elizabeth will come to fondle with him, and fall into a trap!"
"Getting Elizabeth isn't the problem." Jack said chewing his food noisily. "The problem is how shall we get rid of her, when she is in our clutches".
There was a knock on the door, then a crash.
"Oh no, not the ca ca force again." Adriana sighed. "How many times must we deal with Elizabeth and her queer kinsmen in one day?"
Everyone got up, and went to the door and found it lying on the floor, and next to the door, was a short woman with medium length black hair. She had two daggers in each of her hands. "Los sientos Ustedes. Sorry." She said as she twirled a set of daggers and put them away, leaving only one in each hand.
"Who in Jones's locker are you?" Jack asked.
"They call me El Teacup, but you can call me El...or Teacup...I'm not picky." She said with a smile and a strong Spanish accent. She was wearing black stockings, black stripper boots, a black tank top, and a bright pink tutu.
Everyone scratched their heads.
"I'm an assassin."
Everyone began to laugh.
"Really, I am. I promise to you." She took a dagger and scratched her head with it. "I am, I can prove it too!"
"How?" someone asked.
"I have an idea!" Came Lorilie's voice from afar. She hustled towards the others. "You, go and find this woman, and bring her back here." She gave El Teacup a portrait of Elizabeth, because they didn't have pictures back then, and El Teacup sniffed the painting.
"Si, I'll about do it." She nodded and did back flips towards the door, but missed and hit the wall. "Ai!" she screamed in pain, and then continued to flip out of the gap left, that used to be the front door.
"What a weenie." Adriana said, and went back to the dining room
A couple hours later, and a few yards away, El Teacup the assassin was picking up on Elizabeth's scent, which was quite nauseating. She sniffed a nearby branch, and a lizard crawled onto her face. She struggled to remove the animal from her hair, and then fell onto the muddy ground, after successfully detaching it from her head.
She looked up and noticed a set of 4 footprints. She followed them, to a clearing in the trees. She hid behind a bush and watched the four girls talk. Half the time she couldn't understand a word they were saying, for it was mostly grunting noises. She could stand it no longer, and jumped out of the bushes. "Avast!"
They all turned to her. The one girl she was looking for approached her, and El Teacup easily evaded her touch. "Who are you?" Elizabeth questioned.
"I am the defender of the Earth, the fog in the sky, the air in the.... air...and in the name of wherever I am, I'll punish you." El Teacup made a funny pose, then did some kind of Xena warrior noise and kicked Elizabeth in the face. Elizabeth fell to the ground with a large bump, and her cousins ran seeing what the stranger did to their strongest cousin.
El Teacup tied Elizabeth's body to her chariot and headed back to Anna Maria's home. She hoped they could help her as much as she helped them. On the way, she contemplated whether or not to tell them who she was.
When she finally reached the home, she entered through where the front door used to be, and then reminded herself to offer to pay for the damage. Dragging Elizabeth's body into the living room, she sighed, and took a seat. The others just watched in awe.
"Who are you again? You look familiar." Adriana said.
El Teacup sighed once again, and decided to try to explain herself to them, although she knew she wouldn't get very far without someone getting confused. "Do you remember Tea?"
Everyone nodded simultaneously.
"I am her older sister." The Teacup said.
"Nuh uh!" Adriana argued. "I am her sister, don't you guys remember? Me, her, and Michelle were Barbosa's daughters, and if you were her sister you would be my sister too, and your not!"
"Teresa and I shared the same mother, but we had different fathers. Therefore I am not related to Barbosa, but I am to Tea, savvy?"
Adriana scratched her head and said, "I don't get it."
El Teacup sighed. "Look, we have different fathers right?"
"Right." Adriana confirmed. "And different mothers too!"
"Yes, well it's the same thing, except Tea and I have the same mother."
"Ohhh...I don't get it."
"Never mind." El Teacup gave up. "Well, anyway, I am here to find my baby sister, will you please dispose of this woman, so I can find her." She pointed to Elizabeth's unconscious body.
"Tea is with Jarell. They ran away together." Sam said. "You won't find them for now."
"Thank you for your hospitality anyway." El Teacup turned and started to walk away.
"Avast!" came a voice from the door.
"Who is that?" El Teacup asked pointing to the man at the door.
"I have no idea." Lorilie said with a shrug.
"I am Jarell's older brother, Lennon." The man said, taking El Teacup's hand and kissing it.
El Teacup squealed.
"How many rooms is in the house again, luv?" Jack asked Anna.
"8." Anna replied slowly.
"Will that be enough?"
"I hope so." She sighed.
"So what brings you here, Lennon?" Adriana asked holding up her hand to the handsome womanizing Jamaican to kiss.
Of course he kissed it, and held both girls hands. "Well, it seems I am in search of my dear brother, Jarell."
"You know what?" Jack said annoyed. "Why don't we just go on a little adventure?"
"That's a great idea!" Lorilie exclaimed. "But first we should sleep, look at the time."
"Now, wait a second." Will said nervously. "Shouldn't we deal with Elizabeth before she gets away again."
They all looked towards where Elizabeth's body was. It was gone! They all moaned.
"Not again." Someone said.
"Well, like I was saying..." Lorilie said. "Let us get some rest."
"Wait a cotton picking second!" Anna said. "There are 8 rooms, and 10 of us. We're going to have to share some rooms."
After the room sorting was finished. Only 4 out of the 8 rooms were actually being occupied. In the first big room were Adriana, Lennon, and El Teacup. In the second big room were Sam, Patrick, and Anna Maria. The other two small rooms had Jack and Lorilie, and Will and Jenni.
Back at Elizabeth's layer, she hollered at her idiotic apprentices, and scolded them. "You fools! You let her take me!"
"We're so sorry! We won't do it again!" They all replied and winked at each other.
"No time for apologies! We will leave in the morning, and follow our little friends, understand?"
"But, Elizabeth..." Jhanille said matter o factly.
"WHAT?"
"First of all, there are only four of us, and second we don't have a ship."
"Don't worry, I know how to get one. I'll just pay a little visit to my friends Izzabella, and Tom. They have a ship, and will help us crew it."
"How do you know this?"
"Lets just say, we have the same goals."
"You all like this Patrick guy?"
"NO! We all want revenge, you fool." She backhanded Jhanille, and they both began to laugh evilly.
Codswallop
Ch 3
"God's piss!" Elizabeth swore. "Amanda, I'm afraid I have fallen in love."
"With whom, may I ask?"
"That bloody Frenchman, Patrick, as it were." She replied. "He has such an erogenous effect on me. I cannot get his lad out of my mind."
"Are you sure that's safe?" Amanda asked. Stephanie picked her nose, and flicked a booger at Amanda. Amanda caught it and put it into her mouth.
Elizabeth grimaced. "What do you mean is it safe?" Elizabeth turned to walk down the dark alley "I'll find a way to make him mine, savvy?" She had acquired her pirate lingo over the last couple years, and had put it to good use. She turned back to Stephanie, Amanda, and Jhanille. Jhanille was picking and eating lice from Amanda's hair, while Stephanie licked herself.
"I think I may have been a cat in my former life." Stephanie said, and continued licking (see Part 7 of Yo Ho). "That Patrick feller of yours is quite the looker."
"Do not speak of him so! Oh how I do wish harm upon you, Anna Maria!" Elizabeth yelled, then began to choke.
Back in the house, everyone was having breakfast, and talking of Elizabeth.
"Since she likes you, Patrick, we must set a trap for her." Jenni offered.
Patrick frowned. "If only the French were not so sexy." He sighed.
"I agree." Said Will sarcasticly. "We can leave Patrick naked on a bed, then Elizabeth will come to fondle with him, and fall into a trap!"
"Getting Elizabeth isn't the problem." Jack said chewing his food noisily. "The problem is how shall we get rid of her, when she is in our clutches".
There was a knock on the door, then a crash.
"Oh no, not the ca ca force again." Adriana sighed. "How many times must we deal with Elizabeth and her queer kinsmen in one day?"
Everyone got up, and went to the door and found it lying on the floor, and next to the door, was a short woman with medium length black hair. She had two daggers in each of her hands. "Los sientos Ustedes. Sorry." She said as she twirled a set of daggers and put them away, leaving only one in each hand.
"Who in Jones's locker are you?" Jack asked.
"They call me El Teacup, but you can call me El...or Teacup...I'm not picky." She said with a smile and a strong Spanish accent. She was wearing black stockings, black stripper boots, a black tank top, and a bright pink tutu.
Everyone scratched their heads.
"I'm an assassin."
Everyone began to laugh.
"Really, I am. I promise to you." She took a dagger and scratched her head with it. "I am, I can prove it too!"
"How?" someone asked.
"I have an idea!" Came Lorilie's voice from afar. She hustled towards the others. "You, go and find this woman, and bring her back here." She gave El Teacup a portrait of Elizabeth, because they didn't have pictures back then, and El Teacup sniffed the painting.
"Si, I'll about do it." She nodded and did back flips towards the door, but missed and hit the wall. "Ai!" she screamed in pain, and then continued to flip out of the gap left, that used to be the front door.
"What a weenie." Adriana said, and went back to the dining room
A couple hours later, and a few yards away, El Teacup the assassin was picking up on Elizabeth's scent, which was quite nauseating. She sniffed a nearby branch, and a lizard crawled onto her face. She struggled to remove the animal from her hair, and then fell onto the muddy ground, after successfully detaching it from her head.
She looked up and noticed a set of 4 footprints. She followed them, to a clearing in the trees. She hid behind a bush and watched the four girls talk. Half the time she couldn't understand a word they were saying, for it was mostly grunting noises. She could stand it no longer, and jumped out of the bushes. "Avast!"
They all turned to her. The one girl she was looking for approached her, and El Teacup easily evaded her touch. "Who are you?" Elizabeth questioned.
"I am the defender of the Earth, the fog in the sky, the air in the.... air...and in the name of wherever I am, I'll punish you." El Teacup made a funny pose, then did some kind of Xena warrior noise and kicked Elizabeth in the face. Elizabeth fell to the ground with a large bump, and her cousins ran seeing what the stranger did to their strongest cousin.
El Teacup tied Elizabeth's body to her chariot and headed back to Anna Maria's home. She hoped they could help her as much as she helped them. On the way, she contemplated whether or not to tell them who she was.
When she finally reached the home, she entered through where the front door used to be, and then reminded herself to offer to pay for the damage. Dragging Elizabeth's body into the living room, she sighed, and took a seat. The others just watched in awe.
"Who are you again? You look familiar." Adriana said.
El Teacup sighed once again, and decided to try to explain herself to them, although she knew she wouldn't get very far without someone getting confused. "Do you remember Tea?"
Everyone nodded simultaneously.
"I am her older sister." The Teacup said.
"Nuh uh!" Adriana argued. "I am her sister, don't you guys remember? Me, her, and Michelle were Barbosa's daughters, and if you were her sister you would be my sister too, and your not!"
"Teresa and I shared the same mother, but we had different fathers. Therefore I am not related to Barbosa, but I am to Tea, savvy?"
Adriana scratched her head and said, "I don't get it."
El Teacup sighed. "Look, we have different fathers right?"
"Right." Adriana confirmed. "And different mothers too!"
"Yes, well it's the same thing, except Tea and I have the same mother."
"Ohhh...I don't get it."
"Never mind." El Teacup gave up. "Well, anyway, I am here to find my baby sister, will you please dispose of this woman, so I can find her." She pointed to Elizabeth's unconscious body.
"Tea is with Jarell. They ran away together." Sam said. "You won't find them for now."
"Thank you for your hospitality anyway." El Teacup turned and started to walk away.
"Avast!" came a voice from the door.
"Who is that?" El Teacup asked pointing to the man at the door.
"I have no idea." Lorilie said with a shrug.
"I am Jarell's older brother, Lennon." The man said, taking El Teacup's hand and kissing it.
El Teacup squealed.
"How many rooms is in the house again, luv?" Jack asked Anna.
"8." Anna replied slowly.
"Will that be enough?"
"I hope so." She sighed.
"So what brings you here, Lennon?" Adriana asked holding up her hand to the handsome womanizing Jamaican to kiss.
Of course he kissed it, and held both girls hands. "Well, it seems I am in search of my dear brother, Jarell."
"You know what?" Jack said annoyed. "Why don't we just go on a little adventure?"
"That's a great idea!" Lorilie exclaimed. "But first we should sleep, look at the time."
"Now, wait a second." Will said nervously. "Shouldn't we deal with Elizabeth before she gets away again."
They all looked towards where Elizabeth's body was. It was gone! They all moaned.
"Not again." Someone said.
"Well, like I was saying..." Lorilie said. "Let us get some rest."
"Wait a cotton picking second!" Anna said. "There are 8 rooms, and 10 of us. We're going to have to share some rooms."
After the room sorting was finished. Only 4 out of the 8 rooms were actually being occupied. In the first big room were Adriana, Lennon, and El Teacup. In the second big room were Sam, Patrick, and Anna Maria. The other two small rooms had Jack and Lorilie, and Will and Jenni.
Back at Elizabeth's layer, she hollered at her idiotic apprentices, and scolded them. "You fools! You let her take me!"
"We're so sorry! We won't do it again!" They all replied and winked at each other.
"No time for apologies! We will leave in the morning, and follow our little friends, understand?"
"But, Elizabeth..." Jhanille said matter o factly.
"WHAT?"
"First of all, there are only four of us, and second we don't have a ship."
"Don't worry, I know how to get one. I'll just pay a little visit to my friends Izzabella, and Tom. They have a ship, and will help us crew it."
"How do you know this?"
"Lets just say, we have the same goals."
"You all like this Patrick guy?"
"NO! We all want revenge, you fool." She backhanded Jhanille, and they both began to laugh evilly.
