(A/N: This is my first, I mean first REAL, love scene between man and woman. It's easier to do man/man I guess cuz I'm not a man, but this one was a toughie. I hope you likey! This would be why its rated R. Adriana wants more, so ill add more ok? I promise!)

Codswallop

Ch 5: On the road...sea...again

The next day, the entire household got ready to leave on Anna's new ship, The Otis Spunkmyer, to set sail for Tortuga. That would be their first stop on the search for Tea and Jarell to reunite them with their long lost family members.

Everyone boarded the ship, and once again had to figure out how to split the four small rooms up between them. Before an argument broke out Anna Maria spoke. "This is my ship, and last night I had a dream about two women who looked like me, but they were not me...anyway, they said their names were Shaquasha and Wagnerina. They then told me to make Jack captain, and not let Sam, Adriana, and Patrick stay in the same room."

"I'm rooming with Sam!" Adriana proclaimed.

Anna nodded in approval. "Okay...but be cautious."

"Clootengutter!" Adriana hollered!

"Philosophus!" Sam exclaimed taking Adriana by the hand and dragging her into a room.

Everyone grew silent for a while, and then someone said, "Where were we?"

"That's right!" Anna said. "I will be rooming with Patrick, seeing as how it's my ship and all." Anna grabbed Patrick by the wonkle, and he began to pant like a dog as they found themselves a room.

The remaining three couples looked at one another. Jack and Will called the "big" room, they immediately left with Lorilie and Jenni, and this left Lennon and El Teacup alone on deck.

"So..." Teresa said trying to make conversation.

"I guess we get the last room for ourselves." Lennon beamed at the assassin. "Shall we go?" He placed one of his hands on one of El Teacups gloved hands, and they walked together to their room.

It was a tad small for them, but it would have to do. Lennon suddenly removed all of his articles of clothing.

El Teacup pretended to cover her eyes but peeked through a hole between her index and middle finger. "What are you doing?" she asked shocked.

"Where I come from, it is mandatory to bless new rooms by means of fondling, savvy?" Lennon lied.

"And where is that?" El Teacup brought her hands down, and looked the man up and down. His skin was brown, and he had muscles in all the right places. He had the most beautiful belly button she had ever seen; she had to try hard to keep herself from licking it.

"Kingston."

"You liar." El Teacup said playfully.

"I lie not!" Lennon said as he slowly approached El Teacup and looked at her.

"What?" she asked staring at the nude man.

"Nothing." He removed her long black gloves, and he placed her hands on his face, and then finally took it upon himself to undress he completely. Their mouths found each other's as they began to kiss roughly, and made their way to the bed without their mouths separating.

El Teacup did not know what to expect. She felt a queer feeling between her legs, and it felt good, and then noticed that there were fingers there. She closed her eyes, and moaned in pleasure. When he stopped, she looked up confused.

"Miss me already?" Lennon asked as he got on top of her getting ready to make his big entrance. El Teacup looked down. It was HUGE! Her eyes widened.

El Teacup then smiled, and then she felt Lennon enter her. It hurt at first, but then she got used to it. Her noises became louder and louder as she felt the ripples of pleasure surge through her body. Soon after, they both reached their climax.

Lennon took El Teacup into his arms, and they lay in the bed peacefully and fell asleep dreaming of one another, but not before El Teacup whispered a silent "I love you into his ear."

In Sam and Adriana's room, there was nothing but mayhem! They were the only couple onboard who had the talent to argue and make love at the same time.

Sam climbed up onto Adriana, and put his mouth on hers. "Why are you always so jealous, Adriana?" Sam's mouth still tasted of rum, and he could not finish his questioning because Adriana decided to clean out his mouth with her tongue. Just when Sam was enjoying himself, Adriana pushed him off of her. "What now, woman?" Sam asked frustrated.

"Don't you dare give me that tone of voice, sir!" Adriana exclaimed as she unbuttoned his shirt, and began pouring kisses over his chest, and around his bellybutton. Sam began to laugh. Adriana unbuckled his belt, and easily removed his pants. However, before she continued, she asked. "What do you think of Anna Maria?"

Sam started to remove his shirt, and said. "She's friendly, I like her."

"WHAT!?!?!?!?" Adriana exclaimed helping Sam out of his shirt. "She's a manpleaser, Sam, and I don't like her!"

"And then you say you aren't jealous." Sam sighed as he cupped Adriana's chin in his hands. "Look, luv, nothing happened between us. Trust me. I love you."

Adriana wrinkled her nose. "If ye say so." And with that she got under the sheets and the fondling began.

Patrick and Anna's room was a whole nother story. Patrick was completely addicted to Anna's good sex, and couldn't get enough.

Anna ran her hands through Patrick's hair as they ended round one. "That," Anna kissed Patrick's bellybutton, "was," she kissed his chest. "Amazing." She said. Patrick grinned at her apparently ready for round two. "Again, you say?" Anna mocked him.

"Nay, not I." He pointed down south. "Tis he who wants more."

"He just cannot be satisfied now can he?" Anna smiled, and obediently obliged to his request.

On any regular occasion, she would have said no. However, there was something about this man that made her hormones rage. Either she was falling in love, or this Frenchman had the most sex appeal she had ever witnessed. She thought about it, [maybe it's a little of both].
Back on the deck Jack, Will, Lorilie, and Jenni actually managed to keep their clothes on so they could finally get the ship out of the dock. They hoisted sails, lifted anchors, and set the course to Tortuga. However, just about the horizon was a ship. Not just any ship, it was the Babushka, a Russian ship owned by none other than Mr. Felton and his fiancé Izzabella.

Amanda continued to stare at the handsome blonde man. She had never been the wisest (that had been Jhanille), but she was the prettiest, so she decided to use what she had to get what she wanted...and that was Mr. Felton.

As the crew of the Babushka followed the Otis Spunkmyer, Amanda started to talk to Tom.

"Capn' Felton." Amanda said flirtatiously.

"Call me Tom." He said plainly.

"Tom, how long have you been married?"

"I'm not married, poppet." He said not taking his eyes off of Otis (the boat).

"That's nice." Amanda said as she stepped in front of Tom batting her long eyelashes.

"Luv, I think ye may have something stuck in the old peeping hole." Tom said pushing her aside.

"What?" she said and continued blinking rapidly.

"Have ye anything in ye eyes!" he said louder this time.

"No." Amanda could see that all of her attempts of luring this handsome creature to her bed were in vain, so she made her exit, and began to plot what others ways she could catch him.

While Amanda attempted thinking for the first time, Stephanie and Izzy were fighting.

"Will is better!" Izzy yelled.

"No, Jack is!"

"Will!"

"Jack!"

"Will!"

"Jack!"

Izzy crossed her arms and sized Stephanie. "We'll see. After we kidnap them, we'll see who has the longer wonkle. But I still think its Will..."

"It's Jack!"

"It's Will!"

Jhanille tiptoed out of the room, and closed the door leaving the two childish voices behind her.

That was day one of the long voyage to wherever they were going, and it was going to be a long trip. She sighed as she took out a book and began to read.

In the middle of the night, Anna Maria went into Jack, Will, Lorilie, and Jenni's room. She gently pushed Lorilie out of the bed, and she fell to the ground.

She lie down next to Jack, put a hand on his chest, hugged him tightly. She missed having him around the house, and his ridiculous personality. Although she didn't love him the way she loved Patrick, he was her best friend, they had a brother sister type of relationship.

She needed him to comfort her now because she was confused, and he did give the best advice. She got up reluctantly, and left the room. It wouldn't be good if Lorilie were to wake up and see her in his bed.

She went on deck, and saw a ship following close behind them, and didn't think anything of it.

On the Babushka, Amanda tiptoed into Tom's room, and tied up Izzy then threw her overboard. She stood in the doorway and looked at her love. "Tom Felton." She said. "Tis time to fondle." And with that she jumped on him.

His eyes widened, then he smiled. And they did fondle, and fondle they did till morning!

Glossary

Clootengutter- a word of exclamation, most of the time meaning yay or I'm happy

Philosophus- a word of exclamation meaning cool or great.

Wonkle- another name for the male reproductive organ.

Peeping hole- (1) a hole from which to peep (2) the eye

Manpleaser- see previous chapter glossary