Whose Line is it Anyway: Hellsing style!
Porunga: (Sitting at a large desk and tapping a pencil on a desk) Hello and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway: Hellsing Style, the fanfic that reads the funny parts back to you when you're too busy laughing. (Camera pans to Victoria) Featuring "They call me 'police girl'" Seras Victoria! (There is much clapping as the camera pans over to Alucard) Also joining us is "Is it Alucard or Arucard" Alucard! (There is much clapping as Alucard crosses his legs and smirks) Then we have "I'm apparently the only surviving Hellsing" Integra! (Integra smokes a cigar and just sits there) And finally, "Those wussy Paladin's give me a bad name" Alexander Anderson! (Anderson is seen reading the bible and glancing at Alucard from time to time) And a big shout out to BIGDADDY on piano, Gunlord on the guitar, you're big helps! Now then, I'm sure you all know how this works, so I won't bother with rules and I'll plunge our cast members into a game called Film TV and Theater styles. Now then, I need suggestions my faithful audience!
Alucard: (As suggestions are being screamed) What's going on Police Girl?
Victoria: Well, they suggest different styles of movies and plays and TV shows, then we act a scene and we change our attitudes to fit the style suggested.
Alucard: Ah…Humans have the most bizarre idea of recreation.
Porunga: Ok, that should do it. Now then, the scene is as follows. Integra (Seras)has called Walter(Alucard) into her office to fire him, when Ferguson (Alexander) runs in and informs them that a Vampire is attacking. You'll start out normal then I'll buzz in every now and then with styles, so take it away!
Seras: (Pulls a chair forward then sits and pretends to smoke a cigar as Alucard pretends to serve tea) Walter, you do realize why I called you in here correct?
Alucard: (Snaps his glasses in half and wears it like a monocle) For your afternoon tea?
Seras: No, I'm afraid it's a lot worse than that. Due to budget cuts thanks to the sidewinders we added to the helicopters, we're letting you go.
Porunga: (Buzz) Gladiator
Seras: But, if you defeat Alucard in battle, you shall be kept on! (Integra sighs then gets up, grabs Alucard's hat and puts it on. Alucard looks at her then laughs and grabs some string off his jacket)
Alucard: If I must Sir Integra. (Alucard and Integra run at each other and pretend to fight)
Porunga: (Buzz) Speed
Alexander: (Runs over to them and speaks like Ferguson) If Walter goes more than 80 Miles an Hour, he'll explode!
Seras: Damned Vatican and their Butler Bombs! (Slams her fist on her legs as Integra looks around confused, then tosses the hat back at Alucard)
Alexander: What shall we do?
Seras: He could run at the Vampires and blow them up
Porunga: (Buzz) The Shining
Alucard: Heeeere's WALTER! (Tosses the string everywhere and Seras and Alexander slump over pretending to be dead)
Porunga: (Buzzzzz) Very nice for a first try my friends, very nice. 10 points to each of you, and an extra 2,000 to Integra for actually getting in on the action. (Integra smiles and chuckles) Now we move on to a game called props, this is for all four of you. You will be given props and you must find ways of using them. (Alucard and Victoria get a large star, Integra and Alexander get a cross) Whenever you're ready folks, take it away.
Alucard: (Floats to the ceiling then throws the prop like a throwing star) Ninja! (Buzz)
Alexander: (Grabs the cross and uses it like a crutch) Damn Alucard and his guns (Integra actually cracks a smile then tips him over)
Seras: (Places it on the back of her hand) Releasing control art restriction to level two! (Alucard laughs and snatches it away)
Integra: (Holds the cross like the cross/gun Wolfwood from Trigun had and makes gunshot sounds)
Seras: (Looks up at Alucard who is floating while holding the star) Starlight, star bright…(Buzzzz)
Porunga: Ok, we'll be right back after a break, don't go away!
Disclaimer: Don't own Hellsing or Whose Line is it Anyway.
Author Notes: Read and Review, I want to see if this fic has potential for a second chapter.
