Disclaimer:
I used to own x-men evolution but I lost it in a bet.
Note: No popcorn was hurt in this fic, Jean was killed but the popcorn wasn't I gave it a good home .:rubs tummy:.
PYRO MANAIC presents
(you can hear critics complaining then you can a chain saw starting up and screaming)
There is a view of a large house with big windows several smashed, giant holes through the walls and a burning tree in the background. All is normal at the…
Brother Hood House, or is it?
Jean Grey aka. no code name walks in the kitchen of the Brother Hood House, the cupboards falling apart and a stature of Mystique in the corner (mystique is actually in the flesh later on in this fic). The phone starts to ring:
You come and go, you come and go,
Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma, chameleon,
You come and go, you come and goJean starts singing to the tune.
Phone: Pick up the phone, bitch!
Jean: Hello?
Voice: What took so damn long?
Jean: I was busy
Voice: Sure you were, care to have a little fun?
Jean: Who are you?
Voice: You tell me your name I'll tell you mine, yo.
While Jean was on the phone she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking and walked straight into a broken cupboard on the ground. She trips and drops the phone.
Voice: Hello?
Jean: I'm back
Voice: What happened?
Jean: I just tripped over a broken cupboard, stupid Brother Hood House.
Voice: What the hell are you doing at my house!
Jean: What?
Voice: Nothing I didn't shout anything
Jean walks to the stove (pile of sticks on fire), she opens a bag of sweet, sweet popcorn and starts shaking it. You can hear several farts.
Voice: What's that noise?
Jean: Oh, I just farted.
Voice: Several times?
Jean: Yeah…
Voice on the phone: What you doing?
Jean: Making popcorn. I'm getting ready to read some fanfics.
Voice: What's your favourite scary fanfic?
Jean: Interview with the x-men (and the brotherhood and the acolytes)(1)
Voices: That's not a scary fanfic
Jean: It is how PyroManaic writes it.
Voice: You never told me your name, yo.
Jean: Jean, why?
Voice: I wanna know who I'm looking at.
Jean: What?
Voice: I wanna know who I'm looking at.
Jean: That's not what you said.
View of killer (yes the voice is the voice of the killer) looking at a woman's magazine, he's looking at the page worlds most ugliest women.
Voice: It is, and you are ugly. Do you dye your hair?
Jean: No, why would say that? (looks around all shifty eyed)
Voice: Do you have a boyfriend?
Jean: Yeah, why?
Voice: He dresses up like a little girl.
Jean: How did you know?
Voice: Turn on the patio lights. Wait, we have a patio?
Jean turns on the patio lights and Scott Summers is tied in chair and dressed in a extra small tutu with bunny ears on his head.
Scott: Jean! Help me!
Jean: He's not my boyfriend, I went out him a couple of time, using my telepathic powers! Mwuhahahahahaha!
Voice: Okay.
Jean turns off the patio lights and backs off.
Jean: What do you want?
Voice: To see what your insides like look, yo.
Jean: Then turn to page 28.
View of the killer.
Killer: Nice liver.
Jean smashes the phone to bits and walks around looking for the killer. (why she doesn't use her powers don't ask me)
View of the kitchen.
The popcorn is about 200 times bigger than its suppose to be and looks like it's about to explode! (remember no popcorn was ever hurt in this fanfic)
Back to Jean.
She grabs an inflatable baseball bat when she hears knocking at the door, the door falls over at such the tiny force.
Voices from the door: Knock, knock.
Jean: Who's there?
Jamie Clones: Trick or treat!
Before the Jamie Clones could finish, Jean starts slamming them with the inflatable baseball bat several times and then realizes that she's not hitting the killer.
Jamie Clone: You are trying to hit us with an INFLATABLE baseball bat, are you an idiot!
Other Jamie Clone: Ow.. I can't feel my legs!
Jean drops the bat and turns to find a talking table with several items lined up on it.
There is a banana, a knife, one of kitty's muffins, a hair brush, a gun and a mug.
Talking table: Take the muffin, take the muffin, take the muffin! C'mon it's heavy!
Jean picks up the mug instead and runs into the room with the TV.
Talking table: Bitch! I said the muffin! (but flicks off the rest of the stuff anyway and walks towards the Jamie Clones to steal their candy.)
Back to Jean.
Jean is in the room with the TV, where Fred is watching a badly disguised Power Puff TV programme. She walks around the room slowly and sees the killer.
View of the killer in the same room as Jean is in, holding a butter knife and wiggling it in the air.
Jean runs outside but trips over Scott and lands face first in an old pizza box.
Jean: Scott, help me!
Scott: Why should I you didn't help me.
The killer comes out and chases Jean across the garden grabbing her clothes but they kept ripping off, after the 46th piece of clothing Jean is now butt naked.
Killer: My eyes, yo!
As she's running the sprinklers turn on, Jean is seen running through them trying and I mean 'trying' but failing to act sexy. As she's running her red dye comes out of hair leaving her with her natural grey hair. (2)
The killer jumps in front of Jean and screams (bloody loud too) so he cuts off her arm. (3)
Jean is still alive even though one her arms have been torn off.
View of a car coming down the road towards the house.
Inside of the car.
Rahne has her head in Duncan's crotch area and he has his eyes closed. (4)
View of Jean running.
She runs right in front of Duncan's car.
Jean: Duncan, I can't believe your cheating on with Rahne, especially with her in dog form!
Duncan notices Jean and pushes harder on the acceleration hitting her and forcing to fly up in the air do a star shape and full flat on her face.
Rahne: What was that?
Duncan: Nothing
They then get back to business. (4)
View of Jean on the road.
The killer walks up to Jean and raises his butter knife…
One of my fanfics, remember to read and review it! ;)
Her last name is grey and so is her hair.
Randomness
Trying to keep it pg-13 so use your imagination or watch the movie.
Review me if you liked it, or review me if you didn't like and tell whats wrong!
PyroManaic
