"You have got to be kidding me!" Mulder and Scully chorused.

"Put me down, Mulder," Scully requested, hoping to save them from being shot.

"S-s-smart w-w-wife you've got there." A small man stepped out of the shadows and tossed a pair of handcuffs to Mulder. "Cuff yourselves together, please."

"Who are you?" Mulder asked as he complied with the man's request.

"N-n-nobody important."

Scully noticed the man was shaking and thought perhaps there was a medical condition behind his trembling and stuttering. "Sir, is there something wrong?"

"N-no ma'am. I don't u-u-usually st-st-stutter, I'm just a l-l-little n-n-nervous. I've never r-r-robbed anybody before."

"Oh good grief!" Mulder exclaimed throwing their hands up in the air as he rolled his eyes.

"Sir, I think you should know that we are federal agents and if you harm us in any way, a federal warrant will be issued for your arrest." Scully explained.

"Oh geez! Oh man! Oh no! This isn't going well at all. I didn't even plan to get caught. I was supposed to be gone by now and you two come home early. First I had trouble with the lock on the back door, then I came in and tripped over the luggage you left in the floor which knocked me unconscious. By the time I get up and start looting, you guys come in and I obviously interrupted a very private moment. I'm awfully sorry for that, Mr. and Mrs. . . .?"

"We aren't married," Mulder explained. He didn't add that he was sorry the man had interrupted things too. "Listen man, a life of crime never gets you anywhere. Well, it does, but you seem like too nice a guy to land yourself in prison for fifteen to twenty years. Why don't we make a pot of coffee and all sit down and talk about this like rational adults. Maybe we," he held up their cuffed hands, "can help you out in a way that is . . .well . . .legal."

Scully noted that the intruder's nervousness seemed to subside as embarrassment and shock took over. She and Mulder moved toward the kitchen but the man stopped them. "Wait, I-I-I need for y-y-you t-t-two to do s-s-something f-f-for me."

"I've cuffed us together, I haven't called the police to come and arrest you, we haven't arrested you. What more do you want man?"

"Ch-ch-chain yourselves to-to-together at the w-w-waist. H-h-here." The still unidentified man held out a chain with one hand, while he kept his gun trained on the two agents with the other.

"No way. Listen, you are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent anything you say can and will be held against you."

The man pulled the trigger of the small handgun and Scully gasped. "Oh man, I did it again. The safety is still on. I-I-I'm sorry this isn't going any better. P-p-please just p-p-put the ch-ch-chain on."

Scully leaned in to Mulder and whispered, "just do it. This man is obviously unstable and we've already lucked out once with the safety on that gun."

"I just arrested him, Scully." Mulder countered.

"Yeah, meanwhile we are the ones cuffed together. Neither of us have shown him any ID to prove we are federal agents, and he's got the gun. I think the best thing to do is get to a phone and call the local police to pick him up."

"Oh, y-y-you can't d-d-do that, miss. I did remember to cut the phone line when I got here."

"Give me a break already!" Mulder looked up, "what have I ever done to deserve this?"

"Sir," Scully tried, "is there a name we can call you while you're here? I mean I hate to keep calling you 'sir' and 'hey you', it seems disrespectful somehow."

"I've always liked the name James." He replied. "James Flanagan."

"James Flanagan, I'm special agent Mulder, and this is my partner agent Scully. How about just agreeing that we stay cuffed together at the wrist? I mean a waist chain seems to be over doing things just a bit."

"No, no, I would feel more comfortable with the chain on. It would make me less nervous."

"Just do it, Mulder, I want to live to see tomorrow."

"All right, okay, fine." He wrapped the chains around their waists twice, "happy?"

"Yes, agent Mulder, thank you." James Flanagan reached out and put a padlock on the chain to secure it in place. "No coffee, please, it makes me jumpy. If you two would just walk ahead of me and go into the first bedroom you come to."

The first room they came to was Mulder's old room. Their fumbling captor instructed them to take a seat on the bed while he looked around the room. Mulder leaned into Scully and very dryly said, "believe it or not, this is the most action this room has ever seen."

She tried to sound surprised, "no! You're kidding?"

"Outside of Mom and Samantha, you are the only girl . . .woman to ever be in this room. And mom and Samantha don't really count because they are family and you are my future."

"Even in the face of danger, you can be sweet." Scully squeezed his hand and smiled. "Look at it this way, we get to tell everyone we had an exciting vacation."

"This isn't the kind of excitement I was hoping for," Mulder grouched.

"I know, me either, some other time though. I promise."

"Are we talking about the same kind of excitement, Scully?"

She gave him a telling grin and his eyes went wide with amusement. "I think that this might be a good thing."

"You do?" He asked more than a little confused.

"Yeah, I do. Mulder, I want this to work and for us to work, we need to take things slow; not rush into anything."

Mulder smiled and kissed the top of her head. "This may come as a shock to you, but I think you are absolutely right."

"Oh you do, huh?"

"Yes, I do. I also think that this gives a whole new meaning to being joined at the hip." Scully laughed and wrapped her free arm around him as best she could.

"Excuse me again, folks, but I need you to come with me."

Scully arched an eyebrow, "what for?"

"W-w-well, i-i-it's silly actually, b-b-but I'm a-a-afraid of the d-d-dark and w-w-wanted someone to w-w-watch me walk to m-m-my c-c-car."

"Oh brother," Scully replied, "you have got to be joking."

"I-i-if you come with me, I'll l-l-leave your cell phones so you can call for help when I'm gone."

"Mr. Flanagan, you've got yourself a deal," Mulder answered for both of them. "I would go myself, but we are sort of a package deal, Scully."

"Oh, I nearly forgot, I f-f-flushed the keys to those cuffs." James Flanagan said as moved toward his car.

"Why am I not surprised?" Scully mumbled only loud enough for Mulder to hear.

"I-I-I want to th-th-thank you both for being such cooperative victims. While I didn't get as much as I hoped for, the couple of hundred dollars I did f-f-find will help gr-gr-greatly. Enjoy th-th-the rest of your v-v-vacation."

"Oh, we will." Mulder replied sarcastically. "Day one has gone better than we could have ever planned, and it's all up hill from here."

"Y-y-your cell phones are on the c-c-coffee table in the living room. G-g-good night f-f-folks." James Flanagan ducked into his car and tried to speed away. He rolled down his window, "f-f-forgot to p-p-put it in gear. Sorry about the t-t-tire m-m-marks."

Mulder shook his head, "Scully, we were just robbed by Porky Pig. If this ever gets out we will be the butt of every joke at the office."

She didn't have the heart to tell him they were already the butt of almost every joke at the office. "Let's get inside and call the police before it starts to . . ." As if on cue, rain started pouring and they were both soaked within seconds. ". . .Rain," she finished.

They turned around and Mulder tried to open the door. "It's locked, or stuck." He patted his pants pockets, "and my keys are on the floor in the living room. Could this day get any better?"

"I don't think I want to find out. Is there a spare key somewhere?"

"Yeah, around front."

"Perfect. Well, lets go before we catch our deaths out here."

Mulder nodded and they slowly and awkwardly began making their way around the house and to the front porch to find the spare key. They searched for and finally found the key and entered the house. The agents called the local police and gave detailed descriptions of the intruder and his car, the license plate number, and the suspected name of the man. With only a sheriff's deputy on duty, Mulder and Scully agreed to go into the station to give full reports before leaving Chepachet.

A couple of hours later, Mulder and Scully were still chained together at the wrist and the waist. They were each trying to catch up on their reading when Mulder broke the silence. "Hey Scully?"

"Hmmm?" She responded, hoping to finish the paragraph she was reading before giving him her full attention.

"I don't guess you have thought of a way that we will be able to go to the restroom have you?"

"Afraid not. In most cases, it won't be too hard for you, but with me it's a different story. Are you trying to tell me you need to go?"

"Well, yeah, but I'd rather go alone."

"Believe me, I would rather you go alone, but as you said earlier, we are a package deal. Unless you can pick this damn padlock." Scully grasped the lock and gave it a tug, pulling the key loose from it's taped position on the back.

"You never told me you were a magician."

"It's easy to make things appear when they are taped to the back of something." Scully picked up the key and quickly undid the lock. "Too bad it won't work on these," she lifted their joined wrists. "I could always call mom and have her bring my keys from the apartment."

"Too bad they aren't in your purse."

"Yeah, well, I have never had the need for handcuffs or the keys on vacation before. It's probably a good thing they weren't here anyway. If it weren't so embarrassing, we could call a locksmith, not that he could unlock these things either. Why can't we have the cheap handcuffs?"

"I wonder what your mom would say if you called and told her we are cuffed together."

"Who knows, with any luck she wouldn't say anything but, 'I'll be there as soon as I can, Dana'. With the luck I've been having this evening, she would cheer and refuse to intrude on a romantic getaway." She paused and watched Mulder laugh a hearty laugh. "It isn't funny. This is serious. We are sitting in rain soaked clothing cuffed together at the wrist. These stupid things are pick proof. Why would you bring handcuffs on vacation anyway?"

"Hey, this isn't my fault you know."

Scully sighed heavily. "I know and I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I'm just cold and tired."

"I'll make you some nice hot tea, but first things first."

"Hi Mom, it's Dana."

"Dana, honey, how are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom. I need you to do me a favor."

"Sure, honey, what is it?"

"Can you drive to my apartment and get my handcuff keys out of the center desk drawer in the living room?"

"Yes, where are you now?"

Scully took a deep breath before she began to explain. "Mulder and I are at his summer house in Rhode Island. Chepachet, Rhode Island to be exact. We are the second house from the end."

"You are with Fox?"

"Yes."

"The two of you are cuffed together?"

Scully braced herself, "yes."

"How on earth? No, nevermind, that is your business."

"Mom! We were robbed. Mulder took me out to dinner and when we came back there was this lunatic waiting in the shadows trying to rob the house."

"I see, and you couldn't arrest him?"

"Not cuffed together we couldn't. He was armed and we . . .well, weren't. Mulder put him under arrest but he sort of had the upper hand and . . .Mom, it's a really long story and as much as Mulder and I love each other, this is not how we planned to spend our vacation." The word love slipped out but Scully didn't bother to try and cover it up. They had intended to tell her mother in a couple of days anyway.

"Love each other, huh? Well, I'm glad you finally admitted it. I was beginning to think you never would. And why on earth can't you call him Fox?"

"Mom?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can, Dana."