Bum bum bummmmmmmmm. And so the plot thinkens. Has anyone read Calling on Dragons? The chapter titles are hilarious. "In wich the plot thickens" "In wich the plot absolutely curdles." "In wich the plot is dangerous to exploding."(something like that.) I caught a bird today. A little sparrow. I shall name it Jack...duh. But Im gunna let it go.
Chapter sixteen: Me? A queen?
"I bloody hate England." Jack said as he shivered by the warm fire.
"Your the one who suggested it." I said, wrapping David up in another layer of clothes so he wouldnt get sick.
"Well, I bloody forgot that winter here is actually cold! I cant feel my hows-your-father." My mouth dropped open at his bawdy remark. "Woop. I mean my toes." He gave me a sexy grin. "So, Your Grace," He said sarcasticly, "When were you plannin on tellin me that you were the heir to the Enlgish throne?"
"I didnt even know! I thought my mum was just a regular maid or something. I never knew that she could have been queen instead of Anne." I looked down at David sleeping face. "We can give him so much! Think, he could be the king of England some day! Not just the son of two pirate captains." Jack stopped trying to warm himself up and looked over at me.
"He is the son of two pirate captains. Why are you trying to change his stars? Maybe we can wait till he knows what he wants. Not what mainly you want to give him." I glared at him, but realized the truth in his statement. I placed David in his crib and walked over to the fire. It was cold.
"Its only natural for me to want to the best." I said slowly. Jack put his arm around my shoudlers and we stood there by the fire.
"Ma'am?" I herd Josiphene come into the room. She bowed three times then came to a stop in front of me. "The queen wishes for me to tell you that you are invited to supper. You are however to dress appropirately." She shoved a fancy dress in my arms. Then she piled on petticoats, stockings, a corset, and shoes. Jack inched out of the room just in time. The sences that followed went as this:
"You want to powder my hair! Its black! If you bloody powder it, I will look like an old maid!" "You expect me to stuff myself into that, after I just had a kid?" "There is no way in hell your putting that frilly thing on David!" "What is this? A child size? How little do you think I am?" "I refuse to wear something that can seriously maime or kill me!" Finally after being poked, prodded, squeezed, plucked, and stuffed within an inch of my life, I was done.
I looked like a cream puff. The maids bowed out of my rooms, and Jack came back in. Looking quite dashing in his formal wear.
"They got you too, eh?" I asked as he walked in funny.
"These are the tightest skivvies Ive ever worn in me life!" He said in a funny voice. I raised an eyebrow.
"I feel five inches wide." I said looking at myself in the mirror. With the way they laced me up, my body looked like that of a twelve year old. And dont even get my started about my breasts! They ached from being squeezed and pushed up. And not to mention that they were milk heavy.
"Ok, are you the mother of my child, or what?" Jack asked, looking at my waist. He came up behind me and put his hands on my hips.
"Dont touch me. I feel like Im going to explode."
"Supper is served." A voice called in from the door. Jack offered his arm and we walked into the dinning room. Everyone hushed as we walked up the tables and to the left hand of the queen.
"You clean up pretty." She said to me as we sat down.
"I cant breathe." I said sweetly. She smiled and whispered in my ear:
"If you stick out your stomach and try to take deep breaths, your stays will losen." And it turned out...she was right. After the fifth course, they were loose enough for me to at least eat.
0
"NEVER doing that again!" I said when Jack and I were back in our room. I quickly stripped off the layers of clothing. It took me fifteen minutes.
"Im gunna go look for some rum.' Jack grumbled after he got out of his "tight" knickers, and into his pirate regalia. I gave him a flip of the bird and in vain tried to undo the laces on th corset. I was going to call for Elizabeth when she she came running in, practically screeching.
"What is it?" I asked scared.
"I felt it!" She took up my arms and was spinning me round and round in my bloomers.
"Felt what?" I asked catching some of her excitement.
"The baby! I felt it quicken! Its alive! Oh, I have to tell Will. How should I?" She was practically jumping up and down with delight.
"You better watch it, girl." I chidded. She stopped almost instantly. "Can you undo my laces?" I asked turning around so she could reach them.
"Who managed to get you into a corset?" She asked as she undid them.
"Maid. More like the queen." I grunted.
"Ha. What did they do? Threaten to throw you in the Tower?" She laughed.
"No. But I would have chosen the Tower any damn day." I finally had the corset off, and stood there for a moment taking in deep breaths. I heard Elizabeth clear her throat. I quickly covered myself with a robe. She blushed.
"Thank goodness Im not that modest." I said under my breath. I fastened the ties of the robe and heard a loud strong knock at the door. "Who could that be?" I asked Elizabeth as I walked to the door.
"Maybe its the queen coming to lock you up in the Towerrrrrrr." She said 'Tower' all spooky-like. I laughed and opened the door.
"What in blazes?" I said shocked. There stood three armed gaurds and they had someone in custody. It was Jack.
"How the hell did you get arrested by going to get rum?" I asked eyes wide.
"Ma'am, he wasn't gettin no rum. We caught him trying to get into the treasury." I rounded on him.
"The treasury? You lied to me! You said you wanted rum, when you went out and tried to steal? You bloody lied to me."
"I lie to everyone...what makes you so special?" He asked ripping out of the grip of the men.
"Oh, I dont know. Because Im your wife! Its alright men. I will take it from here." The gladly went. Elizabeth ran out too. It was just Jack...and me. I was seething.
"Why." I said in a low voice.
"I just..Well, I..." He stammerd.
"You have a cave full of treasure! Not to mention what is buried throughout the world! And yet you steal from my only relatives...Who happen to be royal?" I yelled at him. He backed up a bit, and I advanced.
"I wouldn't have minded any other time...But we are pirates Jack, and they let us stay here in these apartments! I wouldnt have minded any other time...But you lied to me. You bloody lied to me!" He stood there like a child who did wrong, a pouty look on his face.
"Im sorry?" He offered weakly. I shoved past him and tended to a crying David. After David was settled down again, I turned back to Jack.(a/n: rhyme...ha.) "What did you manage to steal?" I asked, curiously.
He grinned. "Now thats the wife I married!" He said and drew from his pocket a ring. "I got it for you." He said holding it out. I was about to reply sarcastically until I caught sight of it.
"Shit." I said hoarsely.
"What?" Jack asked confused that I hadnt been ecstatic about his small gift.
"Jack! Look at it! It matches the bracelett! That bloody stupid braclett that started everythin!" Jack looked down at the ring in his hand. "I guess your right."
"Throw it away, Jack! I will not have it around me." I knocked it out of his hand and went to David, I scooped him up and with one hand started to pack.
"Where are we going?" Jack asked following me.
"Away from here! Go round up the crew, or something! I don't want to stay here any longer." I was a swirl of color as I dashed about the room, David in my arm and throwing everything into our trunks. "GO!" I shouted again at him. He ran out of the room. I finished packing in record speed and started to get David ready for traveling. Poor thing was so tired he let out a few whimpers and fell back asleep. I finished putting on a new nappy when the candle by us went out. I turned around at the sudden burst of air, and almost dropped David.
"W-wh-who are you?" I asked stammering.
"A humble servant." He said in a thick Spanish accent.
"A servant of whom?" I demanded.
"No one of consiquence. Now. You hand over the baby, and I will save your life." I snarled and picked up Jacks sword that was on the table.
"Over my dead body."
"That can be arranged." He said drawing out his long sword. I looked at it. I was merely ornimental value. It wouldnt do good in a fight. I paniked for a moment though wondering what to do with David. Did I set him down? I couldnt fight with him in my arms. I thought about it for a moment...but neednt have worried. A loud shot rang through the still night air. The Spaniard fell to the floor dead. I turned around and there stood Jack, Elizabeth, Mr. Gibbs, Will, and Rob. But it wasnt Jack who fired the pistol. It was Rob.
"Are you ok?" Jack asked rushing to me. I shrugged him off.
"Lets go!" I demanded. Jack nodded to Will, Gibbs, and Rob to grab our trunks, and Elizabeth took David. Like theives in the night we stole away from the castle, and from any hopes of David becoming the king of England.
