(Well after much discouragement, I'm deciding to update again… I'll go ahead and once more thank Saddened Soul for giving me the basic outline of this chapter, thanks!)

Chapter 8

"Bringing your Navi back is not going to be easy… there is going to be a long and grueling road of tasks ahead to bring him back; are you ready?"

Lan looked at the hooded man confidently. "Yes sir, I am ready."

"Yesss… good… good… very good. First I'm going to have to ask you a series of questions."

"Umm alright."

The hooded man, along with his fellow hooded minions gathered around Lan and company in a circle.

The man asked the first question, "Are you gay?"

"No."

"Are you gay?"

"No."

"Are you gay?"

"No."

"Are you a homo sexual?"

"No."

Are you a homo sexual?"

"No."

Are you a hetero sexual?"

"No… err… I mean yes!"

The hooded men started giggling like little girls.

"Are you a good kisser?"

"Umm, I've never really thought about that…. why don't you go ask your mom?"

"Oooh major diss!" The hooded men chanted around the room.

The hooded man growled as he asked Lan the next question, "If you were a tree what tree would you be?"

"Umm, I'd say an oak tree. Y'know, strong, powerful, and majestic. That kind of thing."

"Who do you have a crush on?"

Lan looked at Mayl for a second then turned back to the hooded man. "Umm, no one."

"If you became famous, what would you like to become famous for?"

Lan went up to the man and whispered something in his ear.

"Oooh yes, you're right, that is kind of skanky. But hey, lots of people go on the Internet to see that kind of stuff. Anyways you have passed the first trial."

"Yes! So what do I have to do next?"

"Okay Lan here is your next challenge. Bring it out boys."

The hooded men brought out a huge tub of cocaine. "Your next challenge is to snort all of this crack cocaine within one minute. If you fail to do this stunt you will be eliminated. If you refuse to do this you will also be eliminated. Are you ready?"

"Yeah!" Lan looked at the cocaine eagerly.

" Your time starts… NOW!"

Lan put one finger over his left nostril and bent over the tub; he immediately began to inhale the white powder quickly, fifty seconds passed.

"Okay your time ends in One-Two-" Lan cut him off, "finished!"

"Well Lan, obviously fear is not a factor for you."

"Wait a sec, I've heard that voice before." Lan brought the hooded man's cloak down only to reveal the person he had suspected all along. "Joe Rogan! What are you doing here in this day and age?"

"Okay. I admit it! Maybe I didn't want to die thousands of years ago. So I sold my soul to the dark lord, and I've been living ever since."

Lan's eyes widened. "Yeah, okay, that's nice but now what do I have to do to bring Megaman back?"

"Okay Lan walk over to the alter."

Our bandana-wearing hero (who now had an extremely white nose) walked over to the front of the altar. Joe walked up beside him and brought out a rusty jagged dagger.

"To bring him back, your blood must be spilled over the PET. This is your final task. Are you ready?"

Lan gulped. "Umm, just exactly where are you going to extract the blood from Joe?"

The man solemnly pointed to Lan's pants.

"Okay f—k this shit! I like Megaman but I don't like him that much. C'mon guys let's go!"

Joe Rogan laughed sinisterly, "That was just a joke! I wanted to see how much you really love Megaman."

"Well, y'know what they say Joe…" Lan got out a microphone and started to sing into it, "I would do anything for love… but I won't do that!"

"Uh, yeah, well… we're going to extract the blood from your pinky."

"Alright." Lan handed over his little finger to Joe. He brought the knife to Lan's pinky and swiftly cut through it.

Lan screamed bloody murder, "AAAAAAAHHHHH! THE PAIN, IT BURNS! MOTHA FU-"

Joe Rogan called out, "Can somebody get this guy a band aid?"

The hooded minions went over to Lan and wrapped a band-aid (with pictures of The Flinstones on it) around Lan's pinky.

"How does it feel?" Joe questioned.

"It still kinda stings."

"Well, for being a strong little trooper, here's a lolly pop."

He handed Lan the heart shaped treat, which Lan quickly took and began to suck on. "Mmm cherry!"

Mayl stepped forward. "Okay Mr. Rogan you made Lan do all of these stupid stunts, so where's Megaman?"

Joe Rogan's eyes started to turn red. "Oh believe me… He's coming!" The disturbed Fear Factor host started to laugh manically.

The church turned pitch black and the only light source coming from the altar, which was now glowing blood red. Suddenly a black stream of lightning came from the ceiling of the church and hit the PET.

"Megaman!" Lan ran over to the altar to retrieve his PET; he picked it up and was amazed to find it as good as new. The screen flashed on to reveal Megaman's face.

Lan was overjoyed. "Megaman it's really you! You're back!"

Megaman looked around. "Huh, where am I? Lan… what happened?"

Lan grinned. "Megaman, don't worry. Everything's going to be all right. C'mon Mayl, Dex, Yai, let's go."

He started to walk towards the exit (with Megaman in hand) with his friends. "Thanks Joe, we'll never forget you!"

Joe Rogan raised his hand up and all the exits closed shut.

Lan turned around, "What trickery is this?"

Joe continued to laugh. "Did you fools honestly think it would be this easy to leave the Church of the Dark? You mortals disgust me. I suppose that's why you deserve to die here, just like we did thousands of years ago! My minions! Attack!" The cloaked men brought down there hoods to reveal skeletal zombie faces. Each of them was armed with thick long swords and maces; they circled Lan and company slowly.

Dex spoke softly, "Guys… what are we gonna do now?"

Megaman spoke suddenly, "Dex, was that grammar really necessary?"

Yai brought out a metal suit case and set it down on the floor. "I have our solution right here." She opened it to reveal two Uzi's, one handgun, one AK-47, and a revolver. "Take your pick."

Lan grabbed the revolver, Mayl took the shotgun, Dex took the AK-47, and Yai took the two Uzi's, and with that the fight for their life was about to begin.

"Die you zombie douche bags!" Dex started to fire his assault rifle back in forth as zombie heads littered the ground.

"For mother Russia!" Lan fired his revolver at a zombie minion.

"Umm… die." Mayl casually fired her shotgun and blowing off a zombie from his torso.

Yai did back flips back in forth between zombies and fired her dual Uzi's as if she'd been trained to do so her whole life. But no matter how much they tried, the hooded minions of kept coming for them.

"Guys I'm almost out of ammo!" Lan called out.

Dex screamed out, "Me too! They're closing in on me!"

"Uh, I'm out of ammo!" Mayl snatched Dex's AK-47 out of his hand and threw it at a zombie that was about to attack her.

"Hey! Why did you throw away my gun?"

"Well I didn't want to throw mine!" Mayl replied.

"That's it guys these zombies are endless! Which is why I'm going right for the source!" Lan looked at Joe Rogan who was obviously controlling the zombies and with his last bullet he fired. The bullet zoomed right past Joe and hit a tank of gasoline that was right behind him. The whole world seemed to go in slow motion. Lan and his friends saw the gasoline tank slowly start to light up and they ran for the exit. A wall of fire built up behind them; they ran outside and the church exploded!

Bits of debris and zombie body parts fell from the sky. "Whew! That was a close one!" Lan clutched his chest in relief. "Well, now that I have you back Megaman let's see if you can still fight. Hey Dex, wanna net battle?"

"Sure."

"Okay, battle routine set, execute!"

Megaman and Gutsman were transported to a battle arena of eighteen tiles.

"Die you fat bastard!" Megaman immediately took out a dark sword chip and sliced off Gutsman's head in a flash of blood and gore. The battle ended in a second earning Lan a Gutsman Version X chip.

Dex cried out in anguish, "Dude! You just fu—ing killed Gutsman!"

"I simply put him out of his misery fool!" The voice came from Lan's PET.

The device grew a dark aura around it and flew out of Lan's hand. The extension cable held up a blank battle chip and sucked up Dex's soul into it; his limp body fell to the ground.

"What the!" Lan was shocked as the PET flew off into the distance.

"We got to follow that PET! That is most certainly not my Megaman anymore!" Lan, Mayl, and Yai (who carried Dex's body) went inside the jet and gave chase.

They followed Megaman all the way back to Netopia. "Where do you think he's going Yai?" Lan inquired.

"It looks like he's heading for the global network! Pilot stop right here!" Yai's personal pilot stopped the jet in mid-air.

"Mayl, Lan can't go after Megaman, so you're going to have to. You can jack into the Global Network from here in the jet."

"Alright. Roll, jack in!"

Roll Exe found herself in the cyber world that was the Global Network. A path of mutilated navi bodies lay before her. "How terrible!" Roll continued to walk up the path where she found dark soul Megaman at the end standing there surrounded by torn up bodies.

"Please Mega! Stop this; it isn't you, you're not like this!"

Digital tears slowly started to fall from Megaman's face. Roll smiled in relief. "Oh Mega." She walked up to him to give him a hug. Megaman suddenly whipped out his buster and shot her down. "Oh what fun it is to screw with you people!"

Lan was horrified. Yai started to laugh. "Hahaha! The first stage of the plan is complete!" Yai ripped off her face only to reveal the exact same face.

Lan gasped. "Who are you and what have you done with Yai?" Mayl rolled her eyes and pondered about Lan's stupidity.

"Hahaha, fool! My name is Yaito! I work for a secret organization called 4Kids!"

"4Kids… Hey wait a sec, you're the ones that jack up all the good anime shows that come from Japan and get shipped to America, aren't you? You're the reason that Pokemon is so damn crappy!"

"Umm, yeah we use to do that but now we pretty much just want to take over the world, which is what we were going to do originally but never quite got the funds to do it. But anyways, you helped me accomplish my first task Lan, I owe you my thanks." Yaito started to laugh once more.

"You ass!" Lan pounced on the Yai-look-alike and started to punch her in the face.

Mayl pulled Lan off Yaito (who she still thought was Yai). "Stop it Lan!"

Yaito spit out blood, "The real Yai was kidnapped inside Hotel Del Netopia shortly after she got admitted into it. Haha, when that fool Mr. S. tried to grab me I called security to take him away. You see, Mr. Shitty knew a lot more then you think. He was working for the FBI to guard Yai and make sure that I did not take her place! He knew that a 4kids agent was aiming to take the place of one of his students to accomplish a certain mission…haha… yes, well that is all for now, it's been fun. But I must be going!" Yaito touched a device on her wrist and disappeared right before there very eyes.

"What are we going to do now?" Lan asked desperately.

Mayl paused for a moment. "Wait a second, we're not alone in here are we?" Mayl walked up to the pilot's seat. There was a man sitting there with a black mask covering his face. He got up slowly and turned to face Mayl.

" I understand that you would need this." The man handed Mayl the battle chip that contained Dex's soul.

"Actually that's the last thing I want right now." Mayl grabbed the chip and threw it to Lan.

"I'm not with them… I'm neither friend nor enemy; just think of me as a mysterious cool guy. And here take this." Lan's PET materialized in the air and fell into his hands. "If you give him a program called Anti-DS he should heal. But there's only one company that makes that program."

"Tell me, who?"

"4Kids."

(Well, that was a dandy (okay yes, kinda stupid) chapter wasn't it? Anyways, it's Review Respondin' Time!

Megaman X2223- What, you mean the Snoop Dog language? Sorry, I'll tone it down on that. Chaud''s next adventure should be next chapter or the chapter afterwards I think…

Blue Phoenix- Thanks for the inspirational message, it was beautiful, really. And I don't know of this chapter satisfied your hunger for evil but hey, it had Joe Rogan in it.

Ri2-I suppose this chapter answered all of your questions.

Saddened Soul- I just want to say thanks again, the ideas you gave me helped this chapter become ten times crappier then it could've been.

NotJim- I'm pretty sure this chapter was long enough, right?

Masamune- Wow, thanks!

Xahn- I got a review alert from you just now. Man, are you late! Well, whaddya think!