Chapter Two
The grass is always greener on the other side is a phrase, which essentially means you an atrocious gardener, however, many appear to conclude it means you can find something better someplace elsewhere, but trespassing from your untidy lawn and into your neighbor's vineyard is illegal, so you are often abandoned among your withering flowerbeds.
This was precisely how the Baudelaires felt. The absolute only adult who could see them through their adverse circumstances had abandoned them, and they were stuck among their withering conditions.
"This is exactly what occurred at the V.F.D. headquarters located in Valley of Four Drafts," Klaus realized.
"What?" Violet and Sunny both chanted in unison.
"At the Valley of Four Drafts," Klaus began, "I found the poem we were in need of, however, the rest of the library was nothing but a pile of ash."
"Convenient," Sunny admitted, which probably meant, "Yes, that was a little to convenient."
"Oh! Cried Violet, "V.F.D. must have some sort of inflammable material."
"Yes," agreed Klaus, "and maybe it's no coincidence that we're finding them. Perhaps, we should check into the Veritable French Diner."
Violet stood motionless for a time, as if she were meditating on a stressful thought and finally whimpered, "Where's Quigley?"
The younger Baudelaires were both awestricken of this question, having not dwelled on the fact that Quigley had set to meet them at Hotel Denouement.
"Meet Dark Avenue," said Sunny, which probably meant, "If memory serves me correctly, Dark Avenue is located somewhat closely to our own home, and Hotel Denouement can't be too far away from the mansion, so if Quigley is at Veritable French Diner we may be able to catch up with him.
"That's true," agreed Klaus.
"Thanks, guys," hiccupped Violet, brushing a few small tears from her eyes.
Dark Avenue was quite a grandiose, a word which here means 'fancy', road. Almost every inhabitant of the street was concerned with what was 'in' and what was 'out', a phrase, which here means almost every inhabitant, was too uppish to give any concern to anything other than fashion.
Dark Avenue had been the first neighborhood the Baudelaires had been relocated to after being expelled from Prufrock Preparatory School, a dreadful academy, and the incident following in which their close friends, the Quagmires, were kidnapped by Count Olaf. The stay at their new guardians', Jerome and Esmé, penthouse apartment had been both pleasant and unpleasant. Jerome had been very gracious, but often avoided arguments, which could have halted the Baudelaires' unfortunate lives, however, Esmé turned out being Olaf's spy and girlfriend.
I am telling you this, because, at this moment, the Baudelaire orphans stood outside the doorway of 141 Dark Avenue, the Veritable French Diner.
"Dark luck," shrieked Sunny, which probably meant, "We arrived at Dark Avenue in good timing. Once again, dark is in and light is out, so we weren't recognized by anyone."
Sunny meant two things in this statement. One, when the Baudelaires had first arrived on Dark Avenue it had been pitch black, meaning there was absolutely no light, except for the few candles, which lit the road with a flickering, dim, orange light, sending dancing shadows in vicinity of palely illuminated walls. Secondly, the three siblings were fugitives, having been falsely accused of murder, arson, and other crimes too dreadful to list.
"Yes," agreed Klaus, "but we may not be so lucky outside of Dark Avenue. Obviously, we can't expect the whole world to remain dim, so we may want to change our names."
"I'd love to be called Samantha," suggested Violet, "or Sammy for short. I've always adored the name."
"Jessica," piped Sunny.
"I'll be Shawn then," confirmed Klaus.
And with that Violet, now Sammy, placed her hand on the doorknob of the Veritable French Diner, however, rather than swinging open the door, a voice boomed out, "Password!"
"The world is quiet here," replied Klaus.
"No!" the voice called back.
"Wha-," Klaus began.
"Lemony Snicket," interrupted Sunny.
"Oh! Violet shouted, "Lemony Snicket survived."
The door of the Veritable French Diner swung open, revealing a middle-aged man with beaming smile clothing his face.
"Hello, Baudelaires," greeted the man, "my name is Johnny, and I've been expecting you for quite some time. You've received a Volunteer Factual Dispatch from a certain Quigley Quagmire. Also, it seems his siblings, Isadora and Duncan, have also left small notes. Come, I'll show you."
"Quigley!" cried Violet, "he's alive."
Johnny lead the Baudelaire orphans through a line of buffet tables of what appeared to be mounds upon mounds of amass French toast and through passageway labeled Very Fancy Door.
"Yes, I know you must have been shocked by all the French toast," laughed Johnny, "but, of course, this is more of a headquarters than a restaurant," he finished taking a slip of paper from a machine identical to the one owned by Captain Widdershins and read:
"Hello, Baudelaires! If you are reading this, apparently, you have found the Virtually inFlammable (The volunteers could think of nothing else.) Document. I assure you, especially Violet, that I'm safe and well, however, you must find The Fervid Flames.
Quigley
You may wander how we were able to descend from the self-sustaining hot air mobile home, but we have no time such matters. We are currently located at another respecting V.F.D. headquarters. My sister, Isadora, and I have decided to lead towards the legation using couplets, because if this note falls into to the corrupt hands… well, we don't want them to find us easily.
Duncan
Look as far as the eye can see,
And you will find V.F.D.
Isadora"
And so the Baudelaires gazed open mouthed, because through the window, as far as the could see, was the microscopic shadow of Lousy Lane, the road which wound its way to Tedia, and the V.F.D. horseradish factory.
Author's Notes:
I'm hoping you're finding my story more interesting. Well, anyway, read and review, as well!
