October 31

As per usual, a Halloween prank was engineered, much milder than usual though. The heavy rain outside was reflected in the ceiling…until it turned into tiny confetti of black bats that fell across the tables in a downpour. Most tried to flee from the Great Hall, only to find this strange storm was consistent throughout the castle. Some of us ingenious parties transfigured umbrellas and casually strolled around. Then the real mayhem began. Different confetti was covered with different potions, each in a random assortment. Some had singing serums and several people began belting out everything from opera to the Weird Sisters. Other potions ranged from voice changing potions, hair coloring and costume changes to dancing with the first person they saw. Mayhem ensued until the storm had passed.

In the common room that night, she cornered me. I went to grab a set of exploding snap from my room and she pounced.

What Lily said (L): I know it was you four this evening, and I have the evidence to prove it.

What I thought (T): I do not know to what you are referring.

What I said (S): What evidence?

She arched an eyebrow. Oops.

L: I want to know why you did it.

T in sarcastic tone: Ah yes, let me just incriminate myself further.

S: Okay, it was tradition.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

L: I know you do a Halloween prank every year. What I mean is that I want to know why this year…people came out of one of your pranks relatively unscathed.

T: Excuse me?

S: Huh?

L: In the past, you've had the pumpkin juice transformed into volatile slime and anyone who accidentally drank it was covered in boils for a week. This, in comparison, was relatively harmless…almost amusing really. I had no idea McGonagall had such a good singing voice.

This was said with a smile. Lily Evans was smiling at me. She thought something I did was amusing. This meant she thought I had good qualities, worthwhile ones, and everyone likes to hang around with good, worthwhile people. Maybe I had a chance after all! We'd be snogging during our patrols and I'd find out if she was sensitive behind her knees in no time!

S: Don't flatter yourself into thinking it's because I hold you or my Head Boy position in any regard other than contempt, Evans. Remus had a stint in the hospital wing recently and we didn't have enough time to plan anything that would have made us proud.

L: I wondered why he wasn't in class, but I thought I heard he was visiting his sick Aunt. He is better now, isn't he?

T: Oh my holy harpy, she knows about Remus. Quick mouth: distract her!

S: Fine, stay out of it. So what's the punishment then? Twenty points? Detention? Writing lines? Tutoring first years? Or something of a challenge, like an excursion into the Forest for some centaur hair? Do your worst Evans.

L, glaring and voice getting shrill: I wasn't going to punish you at all. I just…

T: Weren't going to punish us? But you're Head Girl. You shouldn't compromise what you believe in simply because we could have done worse, but have finally grown up a bit.

S, in grinning, cocky tone: Blackmail? Sexy Evans. I like a girl who thinks she has control in a situation.

L: You are impossible! I came over here to—to thank you of all things for your discretion this evening, and all you can do is insult and taunt me! You really are a horrible person. I don't know why I always think there has to be something about you that isn't so bad, but every time I try to find it, you just go and prove me wrong!

T: No! No! I'm sorry! I do have good qualities! Thank you! You're wonderful and perfect and I'm a horrible idiot and I'm sorry! Please don't give up on me! Please don't walk away! Not again…

S: Bit slow on the uptake, aren't you?

I don't deserve Lily Evans. I don't know why I ever thought I did. She turned and ran up to her dorm, and there were tears in her eyes. Why? I have no idea. After seven years of torture like this, she's never cried. She's gotten angry, she's gotten even, but she's never cried. Which means something's different this time. This time, no matter what I do, she's not going to forget and forgive until I do something else stupid.

Lily Evans ran up to her room, flung herself unto her bed, and tearing the curtains closed began to bawls her pretty eyes out. It was not long before the other girls in her dorm began to call softly through the hangings if she was all right, and inquiring what that Potter Prat had done now. As if that was the only thing that could make her so upset. She hated the fact that he was. Lily did not have the heart to reply.

It wasn't long before they left her in peace and went to bed themselves. Lily crawled under her covers, and from beneath her mattress she pulled out the tiny picture that no single soul knew she possessed. It was the only thing she had ever stolen in her entire life. She ran her fingers over the picture, leaving even more fingerprints than those that already covered it.

James (flying on his broomstick, winding rushing through his hair, his eyes beaming and his mouth curved into laughter) rushed to the front of the frame as he always did when he realized she was looking at him. His hazel eyes sparkled at her and he gave her the biggest smile and kindest expression she had even seen.

"Why can't you be like this always?" she whispered to the dark, tracing his fingers over his features. "Why do I have to like you so much?"

November 17

First Quidditch match. Won 410-20 against Ravenclaw. Do not want to admit that this brutality might be a result of the fact rumors have been spreading about the Wanker asking her out. Have avoided her at all costs and have heartily thrown myself into being a slave driver for my team. They all hate me now too. Not to mention my friends. I'd be polite and find some deep dank whole to go quietly die in, but I'm too depressed and lack the necessary energy.

I holed myself in the dorm in the dark and after having to listen to the sounds of the celebrating below for several minutes, I got frustrated and cast a silencing charm on the room.

Which is why I did not hear her enter.

L: You played a good game today.

I wish I could say I gracefully sat up from my attractively splayed position to calmly greet her, but I can't. I was lying down backwards with my head thrown over one side and my leg over another. She scared the holy harpy out of me, and I scrambled for my wand and glasses, the blood rushing to my head, making me dizzy and the room spin.

I fumbled them both and she giggled softly, before coming over. Her blurred form dropped in front of me, before righting herself, and her soft smooth fingers brushed my red hot cheeks as she slid my glasses on my face and her beautiful eyes fell into focus.

T: What are you doing in here?

S: What are you doing in here?

T: What the? Did I just say what I thought I said?

L: I just wanted to tell you that you played a good game today.

T in scathing tone: Shouldn't you be consoling your boyfriend?

S: Thanks.

Long, awkward pause.

L: I should get back before someone starts looking for me.

T: I doubt they'd ever think of looking for you here.

S: Yeah.

L: Are you going to come down at all?

T: Huh?

S: Do you want me to?

L: Your friends look miserable down there without you. The party just isn't the same, you know.

S: Oh.

T: Sorry. I want to lay up here and sulk.

S: I might be down in a bit…if you're still there.

L blushed. L said: I guess I'll wait for a bit then.

L turned and left. I did not go down. I wrote this. Tonight was very very very strange.

I did not know love could hurt this much.

Lily went back down to the common room and went to grab one of the last butterbeers. The party seemed to be breaking up a bit. It had gotten late. She did not realize she had spent so much time outside James's door debating whether or not to go in.

"Lily, I've been looking all over for you. Where did you go? Don't tell me you snuck out to go see that Ravenclaw boyfriend of yours!"

"No, and for the last time, he's not my boyfriend."

"I still can't believe you turned him down. You have no sense in that brilliant head of yours. You know you like him, and I'm sure if you told him he'd still be willing."

Lily glared and did not respond.

"Where did you go then?"

"Up to see James to congratulate him on the game."

"That prat? Honestly, I don't know why you even try."

"He said he might come down in a bit."

"Oh, great. Well let's head up to bed then."

"I think I'm going to wait."

"Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me if that prat sticks his foot in his mouth again."

Lily glared. "I won't. Good night."

"'Night."

Lily waited. He didn't show. She sighed as she finally left for bed. Love, she was sure, wasn't suppose to hurt this much.

An: So I've never seen a fic where Lily knows she likes James and her friends don't think she does, so I'm going from that angle. Hopefully that was clear. If it wasn't, oh well.

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