During the Commercial - Taken Sometimes Even a Strong Woman Needs a Strong Shoulder

Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Dick Wolf and company. I have just borrowed them for my own, and hopefully your, amusement.

Summary/Author's Note: "Taken" had a high and unfulfilled angst quotient surrounding the death of Olivia's mother. This is my attempt at filling it. Read, enjoy, and review. Thanks!

The next evening Olivia sat quietly in the viewing room at the funeral home. While the day before had been one of the longest and most difficult of her life, today was running a close second. The sleepless night on her couch hadn't helped much. She had begun the day on the phone, first with the newspaper for the obituary and then the florist. And then she had had to go to her mother's apartment to pick out clothes and accessories to take to the funeral home. While in the apartment she also grabbed a few of her mother's papers and favorite things that might be necessary but got out of there as quickly as she could. She knew the day was coming where she would have to go through all her things but today wasn't that day.

At the funeral home she had finalized the arrangements with Mr. Mallory for the services regarding the readings and music and then there were more documents to sign. The funeral home would handle everything with the cemetery but her authorization was of course required for both the plot and the headstone.

Leaving everything in Mallory's capable hands, she had then headed into work. She knew she would get flack from both Cragen and Elliot but she had to do it. She wanted to be there for Siobhan when she came in for the lineup and she also needed to get her mind on other things for a while. Elliot had first been surprised to see her, then frustrated, and finally resigned. He knew her so well; he knew she needed to keep busy right now. She had talked briefly with Munch and Fin, both of them offering her their condolences and support. And then silently thanked Elliot when he quietly swung the topic back to the case and gave her a chance to compose herself again.

For the next few hours she kept active, trying not to let her mind dwell on her mother, with only a little success. But eventually it was time to leave. She had a few last minute things to do before going to the funeral home again. She had gone to the crib to change into a simple black dress and when she came out Elliot had been the only one in the office. Thankfully he had not asked her how she was doing; he had been hearing everyone else ask her that all day. He simply walked her to her car and told her he would see her later at the service. She would have to try and tell him sometime how much his quiet strength had supported her today. She had felt his eyes on her often though whenever she met his gaze he simply gave her a small smile, other times it was just a brief touch of his hand in passing. He hadn't scolded her for coming in and had helped distract others from focusing too much attention on her. Her partner always had her back.

She had tried to pick up some food on the way but tossed it out after the first few bites. Her stomach just couldn't handle it as she was dreading the evening ahead. And there was still tomorrow to face. Arriving at the funeral home she had been shown into the room where her mother lay. She hated the instant fear that had gripped her at the thought of walking up to her mother in the casket. To give herself a minute she sat down in a chair in the first row and tried to look anywhere else. The numerous floral arrangements in the room touched her. She made a mental note to ask Mr. Mallory for the attached cards and for the flowers to be taken to a nearby retirement community. He had already shown her the guestbook and other sympathy cards that people had left. The outpouring of support humbled her. So, for the moment she was just taking a few minutes to gather her composure and strength before people started to arrive. Tipping her head back, she closed her eyes and focused simply on her breathing.

After a while she heard the outside door open and voices in the foyer. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and turned to the room's entrance . Her eyes filled at the sight of the entire Stabler family standing there in their Sunday best. Kathy was in front, a twin holding each hand, with Maureen and Kathleen just behind them and Elliot bringing up the rear.

Olivia rose to meet them as they moved further into the room. Kathy released the twins to gather her in for a hard hug, whispering as she did, "are you doing OK?"

"Well enough I guess. Thanks for being here."

"We wouldn't be anywhere else."

The women separated and Olivia turned to the rest of the family. "Thank you all for coming." The older girls moved forward at the same time and she embraced them together, burying her face in their hair for a moment. Releasing them she squeezed both of their hands before turning to their unusually subdued siblings. Dickie and Elizabeth had moved to stand closer to their father, the somberness of the occasion making them nervous.

"Hi kids."

Dickie was the first to respond with a shy, "Hi, Olivia."

"Olivia?"

"Yes, Elizabeth."

"I'm sorry about your mommy."

Olivia blinked back more tears as she crouched down to meet Elizabeth's eyes. "Thank you, honey. Do you know, I think a hug would help me a lot right now."

Both kids looked up at Elliot who smiled and nodded before they turned back to Olivia and moved into her waiting arms. "Is that better?"

"Yes, it is, thank you."

As the twins stepped back Olivia rose and found herself face to face with Elliot who immediately gave her a brief hug. "Whatever you need," he said quietly. She nodded into his shoulder and held on a bit tighter for a moment before taking a step away.

"Olivia?"

She looked away from Elliot and took a step toward the funeral director who had come into the room from his office. "Yes, Mr. Mallory?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt. Did you still wish the casket to be closed for the service?"

She nodded. "Is it time?"

"In a few minutes, yes."

"Thank you." As he left them alone she turned again to Kathy and Elliot, the lost look in her eyes saddening both of them.

"We'll give you a moment." Kathy walked to the casket and reached in to cover the crossed hands with her own. She bowed her head and said a brief prayer before making the sign of the cross. Turning around she wiped her eyes and then ushered her two younger children out of the room.

Maureen and Kathleen each went up to also offer a quick prayer before they followed their mother.

Then it was Elliot's turn. Moving to the coffin, he looked down at the face of the woman who had had such a difficult life. She had dealt with her demons the only way she knew how and he couldn't sit in judgement of that. She had made mistakes but she had also given life to a little girl who grew up to be an amazing woman. "Thank you for your daughter, Serena. Be at peace."

He turned around and started to leave the room, touching Olivia's shoulder as he passed. He stopped however as her hand came up to clench his.

"Elliot? Will you stay?"

"Of course."

Olivia released his hand to move over to the casket. Looking down at her mother's face she was swamped by a lifetime of emotion. Stroking one hand over her mother's hair she placed the other on her arm. Their times together, good and bad, flashed through her mind as she stood there for a few minutes. Finally she leaned over to press a kiss to her forehead. "I love you Mom, and thank you. Sleep well."

She couldn't stop a few tears as she straightened and turned away from the coffin. Without thinking, she walked directly to Elliot who met her with open arms. He held her for a moment before moving slightly away to take a handkerchief from his coat pocket. She took it from him just as Mr. Mallory entered the room again.

"Are you ready?" he asked gently.

She turned to him and nodded, wiping her eyes as she did. Standing there with Elliot beside her, she watched as Mallory and another man moved some of flowers. Then she closed her eyes as they reverently closed the lid, not wanting to watch as her mother's body was shut away. She felt Elliot take her hand and gripped his in both of hers. When she opened her eyes the casket was closed and the men were moving the flowers back and setting out the picture of Serena that she had given them earlier. As they finished the other man left the room but Mr. Mallory came over to where she and Elliot were standing.

"Olivia, there is one other thing that we have not discussed. Tomorrow morning, do you have anyone in mind to serve as pallbearers? The usual number is six and we have staff here that can stand in, but if you wanted particular friends or family…"

Elliot was incredibly touched when her eyes immediately rose to his. "I'd be honored, Liv."

"Thank you. Thomas Mallory, this is my partner Elliot Stabler." As the two men shook hands she continued, "do you think Munch, Fin, or Cragen…I don't know if they are going to come but…"

"I know they are all coming tonight but that Cragen at least has ComStat in the morning. Do you want me to ask them?"

She nodded and turned back to the other man. "Can I let you know a little later?"

"Certainly." And with that he left them alone.

Olivia finally became aware of the growing volume in the outer room. As she looked to the doorway she saw Kathy talking with Munch and Fin. Kathy looked up as Mallory passed her and met Olivia's eyes. "Are you ready?" she mouthed silently. Olivia nodded in response, mouthing thank you in gratitude for Kathy's efforts in keeping the others outside and allowing these last few minutes of private grief. She saw Kathy say something to the guys who immediately turned around and headed towards her.

Elliot met them halfway and she knew he was asking them about the next morning. They both nodded immediately before Elliot let them pass and went on out to talk to Kathy. The partners each gave her a quick hug and assured her that they would be there tomorrow and for whatever else she needed. After them came Cragen, then her mother's boss, Alex, and then other friends and colleagues of both the Benson women. Some of them she knew Serena had lost touch with, or to be honest, driven away with her drinking. But still they had come, to support one and to say good-bye to the other.

For a little while Olivia mingled through the crowd, making sure she talked to everyone who had come. Both tears and laughter were shed as memories were shared. She talked with Cragen who expressed his thanks for being asked but also his regret that he would be unable to attend the graveside service. He also told her to take as much time off as she needed. And she talked with a long-time gentleman neighbor of her mom's who agreed to stand with the others as a pallbearer. She pointed him out to Elliot and soon saw all four men talking with the funeral director.

The service began shortly thereafter. Mr. Mallory began it with a welcome and a request to take their seats. Olivia sat in the first row with Elliot and Kathy beside her and the twins beside Kathy. Kathleen and Maureen were in the next row with Cragen, Munch, and Fin. After everyone was seated he played a song that had been one of Serena's favorites. One of her friends read a passage from one a favorite book and then a few shared some special memories. Finally Olivia stood up and turned to face them.

"First, I want to thank each of you for coming. Your presence here tonight means a great deal to me as I know your presence in her life meant a great deal to my mother, whether she ever told you so or not. My mother did not have an easy life, though that is a statement that can be made by many. She made difficult choices, some good, and some bad. Many in this room can attest to the demons that she battled. But hopefully from her life we can all learn something. To not let our demons get the best of us, to work hard at what we do, and to show the people around us how much we value them. That is her legacy to us. Thank you."

Another song brought the service to a close. Afterwards Olivia again moved through the room, saying goodnight and individual thank yous. As the crowd dwindled the Stablers were the last to leave. She smiled as she approached them. Kathleen and Maureen were teasing their brother about something while a sleepy Elizabeth leaned against her father. Elliot and Kathy were holding hands as they talked and as she got closer Kathy reached her other hand out to Olivia. "It was beautiful service, Olivia."

"Yes, it was, thanks. And thank you guys again for being here."

"How are you really doing, Liv?" Elliot asked quietly.

"Good moments, bad moments, you know."

"Yeah, I do." He and Kathy exchanged a look. "Will you let me do something for you tonight?"

"Elliot, I'll be fine."

"I know you will, we just don't want you to be alone right now. We understand if you don't want to come to our place. But will you let me stay at yours? We can talk if you want, or not. We can just watch TV. I'll sleep on the couch. Just don't be alone tonight, OK?

Olivia waged a brief internal debate. She still felt the need to stand on her own, the instinct was too ingrained to just be set aside. She was drained and if she felt like indulging in a good cry she would prefer not to have witnesses. But the idea of not having to face her empty apartment and another sleepless night on the couch was not a bad one. That, coupled with the concerned look in Elliot's eyes as well as her own tired and weakened resolve, swung the tide.

"OK," she said quietly.

Elliot was taken by surprise by such a quick agreement, he thought they would have to work on her a bit more if they got her to agree at all. But he was also relieved. Her eyes were dark with grief and exhaustion and he would bet she hadn't gotten much sleep last night. He didn't want to pressure her and had been trying not to force anything on her but still hated the thought of her going through so much alone. He had suggested the idea to Kathy earlier in the day and she had been fine with it. Time away from the family for the job was one thing; helping out a friend was something different. They were both concerned about Olivia.

It was Kathy who responded first. "Then let's get you home. Olivia, why don't you finish up whatever you need to with Mr. Mallory and Elliot can help me get the kids in the car."

Olivia and Elliot now exchanged a look. "I think we should do what she says, don't you?" he asked. She nodded with a small smile.

Elliot picked up his youngest daughter who promptly curled against him. Then he and Kathy shepherded the rest of the kids out the door. Olivia went to the office to say goodnight to Mr. Mallory and make sure everything was ready for the next day. He walked her out and shook hands with both her and Elliot who was waiting on the sidewalk with a suit and a duffel bag. As they walked to her car she pointed at his things. "Pretty sure of yourself aren't you?"

"Not sure, just hopeful. And it pays to be prepared."

"Yeah, you're a regular Boy Scout." Her comment lost any punch when it ended on a yawn.

"Alright, sleepyhead. As the lady said, let's get you home."

She smiled briefly at him as they got into her car and headed to her apartment.