Bird Cage
::3::
::Bird That Sings::
After I had stormed off in my confused fury I had found myself lurking amongst the living once again. To quell my inner rage I had began to sloppily kill victim after victim, leaving most of the blood still in them but only to kill them by the breaking of their necks, ripping out their hearts, or something even more ghastly than that. I had done this without really paying much attention to much of anything.
It was around that time I had felt a strange, yet familiar presence in the city. No where near myself, mind you, but somewhere in the city. It was another immortal, but whom, I could not decipher. Only that I had known them at one time or another.
I shrugged it off, telling myself that I would give them the courtesy to hunt in my territory, as long as they stayed away from me. I had no desire to commune with another like myself. Not yet at least.
Other than that, the night was uneventful and I found myself returning to my grave, retreating from the oncoming rays of the morning sun. At least in sleep I could forget everything and remain in a peaceful state of deep slumber. If only life could be as comforting as that...
That night I had dreampt for the first time in years. This usually happened only when I deeply concerned or bothered by something. Unfortunately there had been something nagging at me. A certain girl...
I appeared in the field that I had become familiar with as of late. There was a low fog hanging about me, covering everything around in a thick blanket of white mist. The air was still and humid. Somewhat stagnant.
I took a few paces forward when I heard a voice. Soft, lulling. Droning onwards in a low humming tune. It was slow and melancholic, the emotion expressed from the song clutched my heart and causing an ache within me, a pain of dread and loss. Loss, im not sure exactly of what, but I was about to find out.
As I continued forward, the melody grew steadily stronger in volume, but it was still soft and caressing. I felt myself quicken, yearning to hear more of the luring sound. Then, a figure began to take shape through the mist. It was hunched over something, the frame was small with long strands of hair hiding it's face. Upon closer inspection, I discovered the girl named Sakura sitting before me, dressed in a black dress that flared about her legs and was cinched in the back like a corset with white silk lace, the laced also running along the bottom of her dress. A black ribbon around her head tied in a bow decorated her hair and matched the ribbon she wore on her pale neck.
The fog cleared as I came closer and closer till I stood only a few feet away from her. She continued to hum her sad tune as she busied herself with something on the ground. Her hands moved, picking flowers not far from where she sat, only her arm extending to grab things. The rest of her body still and hunched over something I couldn't see.
I took another step before coming down onto one knee to get a better view. Her humming stopped but she continued to busily work. I tried to peer down into the gap created by her legs where her point of interest was, only her hair was blocking my view now.
"There's always a beginning and an end." came her soft voice. I tried to look at her face through her hair but I was failing. I remained at a loss for words, unsure whether it was appropriate to speak or to remain silent.
I watched as she scooped some dirt into her lap. She continued this act for several moments.
"You liked the song, didn't you?"
I stared at her. Did I? It was lovely, I had to admit, but I wasn't sure if I actually liked it. Not sure if I liked the effect it had brought upon me. The aching and luring effect.
"Most people do. Most are drawn to it, like you. Like most are drawn to you."
I finally spoke up, but with hesitance. "What do you mean, like me?"
Silently she continued to scoop dirt into her lap, packing it down now every time she laid new dirt upon the previously placed.
"I like the song very much. Mother and father and even Touya didn't though. They said it reminded them of the past. Past things they wanted to forget. But it was after Touya died that it came to me more naturally. I began to hum it more often. I think it might have caused mother to go mad..."
She reached out and pulled more flowers around her up from their roots, placing them also in her lap.
"But... no. That's not right." she said, slowly as if she was busy contemplating things.
"It was Touya's death, father's absence, and the drugs that drove her insane." she spoke, as if she were trying to explain it to herself and not I.
"What did you mean earlier when you said, 'like you'?" I asked again.
Her hands finally stopped their work but were folded in a resting position in her lap, her head and back still bent forward as she stared at the ground before her.
"Like a pianist. They strive for the finish, after all, it is why they practice with such diligence and passion. It is the finish where they hear the applause of the audience and the praises and encores. But it is the finish that brings the performance to it's close."
I stared at her, not exactly sure what she was implying upon, but I was slowing getting an idea. A slow but steady dread began to wash over me.
"Do you know why people are drawn to the song?" she asked, my silence following.
"It reminds them of death. And it's only in death where they can find true peace. Like a moth to a flame, the moth is drawn to the beauty of death the fire emits, and it is there where it sacrifices itself to the silence that only death can give. The eternal silence.
You, Syaoran, are like the song itself. You're an embodiment of it. A form that death has taken shape to. You bring people to the end of their long journey on the hard road known as life. You complete the song with your final phrase and bring the performance to it's close. You may deny it all you want, but you know it's true."
I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. What she was saying was true and I knew I didn't want to admit it. I never did want to admit it, but I couldn't deny it.
"You were wondering what I was doing, were you not?" she asked, her voice calm and steady and drawing me away from my thoughts. Thoughts that I avoided as much as possible.
"Silly creature. He was drawn to the song too like his brothers and sisters. He heard it call out to him and he followed it. He saw what happened to his brothers and sisters as they were all drawn to the trap before they were decapitated or cut in half. But he went to it anyways. And now look what it's earned him."
I watched as she moved her legs away, scooting back just enough to allow me to see. And there before me was a small mound of dirt with a cross at the head of it made of two twigs tied together by the stem of a small flower, a small wreath made of small white flowers sitting idly on the tiny grave.
"Poor poor Jumper. At least his death was quick. The trap came down right below the skull, decapitating him like so many of his brethren. But what a mess it made..."
My gaze darted from the small grave to her, suspicion filling me.
"You... you're not Sakura. You couldn't be. She wouldn't speak with such cold and uncaring words like you do. Tell me, who are you and what do you want?" I asked, my voice cold and eye narrowing.
Slowly she looked up, green eyes half covered with drooping eye lids, her face devoid of expression. She looked exactly like Sakura.
"What do you mean? I am Sakura, and always have been. At least, a part of her that she doesn't like to show."
I found myself in a stupor, only able to stare at her as my tongue had receeded into the back of my throat.
"Im the part of her that knew what my mother was planning to do, but she wouldn't accept it. Im the part of her that knew what had happened to Touya when he didn't return home. And im also the one that knows what she desires most."
Slowly she crawled up to me, almost like a child would on all fours. Reaching out, she cupped the side of my face and leaned forward and placing her cheek on mine and her lips almost against my ear as she whispered,
"Complete her song and grant her final wish. Become the angel she prayed for and bring her the peaceful sleep she so desperately yearns for.
You know you want to kill her."
I woke with a start, slamming my forehead into the lid of the coffin before falling back onto the soft silk bedding with a moan. I reached up as I brushed my hand through my sweat soaked hair, barely able to do this with the small space above my head available.
'A dream... only a dream. It was only a... a nightmare.' I found myself thinking in an attempt to calm my pounding heart.
Here I was, trying to forget about that damned girl and now she was entering and haunting my dreams! What nerve... Maybe I should get rid of her... but no. That would be giving her what she wanted, at least according to the Sakura in my nightmare.
I took several deep breaths of the musty coffin air within before reaching up and grasping the stone lid, bracing myself for the rush of warm fresh air as I pushed it back.
Day had quickly turned to night and I had risen again for the thousandth time, the previous nights events returning to me, making me uncomfortable. The strange presence was also gone. Maybe they decided to leave, knowing they were intruders and were not welcome here.
I headed out and away from my resting place. I had money from the rich fat man I had killed recently. He had several hundreds and a couple of fifty dollar bills mixed together with countless tens, twenties, fives, and ones.
I had a tendency to sometimes pick the pockets of the dead for the hell of it. Sometimes I would go see a movie on that overcrowded street I rarely hunted on. Other times I would buy a new suit or something similar, deciding that it was time for a change, or if my old clothes had been worn beyond repair (though I never did take the time to repair them.). And every now and then I'd stroll into a late night restaurant and order the most expensive dish on the menu but wouldn't touch a morsel of it. I did it simply to watch and listen to the people around me. Or to keep an eye on the victim I was stalking.
That night I had unconsciously wandered into a park somewhere between that busy street and the place where I'd slept. I flopped ungracefully onto a bench with a light post off some ways, making me only visible from its distant glow.
I watched couples, hand in hand, stroll around the area, whispering sweet things to each other, laughing at private jokes, sharing brief kisses on the cheek or lips. So simple were their gestures. But if they had known that death was so close...
I stopped.
St. Michael
It rang through my head like a church bell. Repeatedly and constant without skipping a beat.
These mortals didn't even know what I was or what I was capable of... or that I was even there. Was that how it was back during the ancient days of Egypt? When death had swept down upon every home, every child? Every parent? All ignorant of the fact that they were going to die on that fateful night by the hand of one of God's angels?
I searched the faces of each individual within my sight, searching for acknowledgment that their time might come to an end and by my hand? That I might be the one to complete their song? I could only shudder at the thought.
I scoffed at myself. Of course they didn't know. No one ever knew. I suddenly felt very silly for the over dramatic thought. Of course they couldn't, wouldn't know.
"You're like St. Michael. The archangel that descended upon Egypt to claim every first born. Except you don't target just the first born, right?"
Her words ran through me. I was suddenly cringing and running my hands through my hair. How had I become this thing in the first place? I should have listened to mother that day... I shouldn't have left the house to catch that stupid bird for Meilin. I should have listened to my gut feeling, telling me not to go, that there was something out there, waiting.
How was I supposed to know that vampires weren't just a fairy tale told to scare innocent children to stay indoors at night? Besides, wasn't the night always associated with evil?
I ran my hand over my face but not pulling it away. I was now looking at the ground between my feet.
I had sworn that the killing without justice was a crime that I would never commit... and yet here I am, killing night after night just to sustain my own existence?
I sighed bitterly before leaning back, letting my head hang over the top of the bench. Best not think about it... it was something that always angered me.
I heard a small child walk by with her father. She was small, around ten. She was talking.
"Daddy, why is mommy in the hospital? She said we were going to the festival tomorrow and that we were going to go shopping for my kimono today..."
"Sweetie, mommy's not feeling well. Mommy is very sick and needs the doctors to make her feel better." his voice was hallow and empty.
Out of habit I reached into his mind. Images upon images of white halls, men and women clad in white, the site of people being rolled to one room then to another on beds, and the stench of death lingering everywhere... then a doctor speaking.
"Three broken ribs and a cracked spine, sever damage to her skull and internal bleeding. She wont last longer than a day or so, but we'll keep trying..."
Those words brought forth others. Images of a certain violet haired woman, throwing herself over a bridge.
Please stop. No more. No more of this madness of pain and loss and death! Just leave me alone!
"Why didn't you kill me earlier? You've had plenty of opportunities since last night, and yet here I am, still alive. What made you avoid killing me?"
STOP! Leave me the hell alone!
"Maybe... I don't know... I guess a part of me wants it. I would have done it myself if I had a good enough reason to urge me to do it... but im afraid."
I had broken into a cold sweat. It seemed that everywhere I went, so did the thought of her and her haunting words. What was going on with me?
I brushed my hair back before slapping myself, trying to get a grip on my sanity...
You're just delusional because you haven't drank yet... yes, that has to be it. Has to be the reason why I keep thinking of these things...
But I knew I was lying to myself.. I had gorged myself on blood the night before to the point of throwing up and the effects of hunger weren't even present. But I was willing to do anything to get that girl out of my head. I would resist with every fiber of my being from giving in to go to her and rip her to pieces.
I was mad, possibly obsessed. Obsessed with my questions, with death, and that damned girl and her words and wishes for death. They had an effect on me like a virus. Spreading and growing...
I spotted a young runaway boy carefully sifting through the trash, hidden in shadow and out of the sight of passing people. It wasn't my style to take the life of children, but I was desperate for a scape goat from reality. Reality that I had become the thing I swore I would never become and haunted by the image of that girl.
Inhuman speed allowed me to cross the distance between me and the boy within the blink of an eye. He was still digging when I appeared silently behind him. Words. I needed words. Something to grab his attention... make the kill more graceful....
Nothing came.
I had found myself on him within a second, clamping my hand over his mouth to silence his high pitched boyish screams as I pierced the flesh of his neck with my teeth. I drank and drank, feeling him grow weaker with every passing second, his blood rich and flowing into my mouth as I licked the wound with my tongue now and then, hoping to forget the world and it's horrors around me... hoping to forget myself and what I was.
It was blissful, this young blood. Never had I tasted something as fresh as this. It was like a new experience for me. Sweet is what it was... like thick rich honey.
I had drank and drank, even when I had already killed the poor boy, drawing the blood by my fierce sucking until he was nearly completely dry. But when I had pulled up, the sensation fading, those green eyes and auburn hair returned, just like a never ceasing nightmare.
"Dammit all...." I mumbled to myself as I reached down and lifted the dead body into my arms, cradling it as if it were still alive. I was disgusted with myself how I had taken a life so young and without thought or much remorse. But I had to get rid of the body none the less.
I had reached the place where I usually burned my victims bodies and there I had let this one burn as well. I watched the flames lick the body, the smell of burnt flesh wafting through the still air. Another killed by me... will the cycle ever end?
Then came her girlish smile to my mind again. The memory of her warm soft cheek on my hand. And the thought of killing her. Yes, the reason I had left in such a rush yesterday.
I knew now that no matter what I did, she would never leave me alone. I had to do something.
I laughed quietly to myself. I had only seen her twice and now I was reduced to this confused, lost little stray. No where or person to go to, except for her. I had to do something. I had to see her. Had to kill her or myself... anything to get these damned images out of my head.
Giving in, I decided that yes, I would go and visit her again. It was nearly two in the morn and I had decided that I had resisted long enough.
The field that I had become so familiar with during the past two days stood before me. The same field in my dream. I walked in deeper, expecting to see that girlish figure with the long flowing hair and big green eyes... but I saw nothing. My eyes came to the decaying tree trunk where she usually stood, but she wasn't there. Eyes wandering, they came to the cliff where we had sat. There, too, was vacant of her presence.
I strolled further into the place, inspecting the area, hoping to find her lying down somewhere amongst the wheat and grass. But she was no where to be seen.
Had something happened to her? Did she decide she was tired of waiting and went home? Did she even bother to show up in the first place? Or... did my words to her frighten her?
I took a seat on the cliff where we had been before I had left her in a daze. I looked out over the ocean, the salty breeze sifting through my hair. Where could she be?
I had sat there for well over an hour, hoping she would show up, but my hope quickly fading. By the time I was on the verge of leaving, I heard a twig snap behind me a few yards off.
I didn't move, but simply stayed where I was, watching her make her way to me... but something about her was wrong. Something... disturbing?
She walked up next to me before sitting, and that's when I saw it.
Her long silky locks of hair had been cut off, her hair now reaching a little above her shoulders, ends uneven and choppy, as if someone had taken a machete to it.
She stared at the sea, eyes avoiding my questioning ones. She wore the same torn night gown she had worn on our first encounter. I couldn't help but notice how it had snagged a few more twigs, just like before.
All thoughts of killing her had vanished. I knew now that during the past two days, I had discovered a mortal company that would be impossible to replace, and killing her would be killing it as well.
I looked to her face, noticed that her gaze didn't waver from her cold stare. I then noticed her red eyes. Red from crying, I suppose.
My gaze followed hers, out into the sea. I was uncertain if it was the right thing to ask what had happened.
"Nothing happened."
I looked at her in surprise. It was as if she had heard my silent uncertain question.
But then came the images like before. A vision.
I saw the morning light through her eyes. She stood at her door. It was a deep red. Next I saw a room. Living room of the house. Broken chairs lay about along with a shattered television, broken glass from glass figurines, porclean fragments scattered about the floor, books and their torn destroyed pages strewn everywhere... the only thing untouched was the leather sofa backed up against a wall. It was quiet. Not even the sound of her foot steps could be heard. The vision was silent, and jerky, like an old black and white film eaten partly by moths or burned away from the projection light, but with color. Scenes appeared and quickly shifted to the next, leaving gaps between the images.
Next I saw a man, his hair near the color of Sakura's. His hair was ragged, messed up and needed grooming, his white button-up shirt wrinkled and probably dirty.
He had his back to Sakura at first, then turned to face her. He was still for a brief second before advancing on Sakura, his face wild, anger evident in his stride as he closed the gap between them.
I saw his hand raise, the next scene that followed showed Sakura stumbling back before crashing against the door. Though I hadn't seen him do it, I knew he had hit her hard in the face.
I felt her fear and confusion as she looked up. He was yelling at her, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. He reached down and shook her roughly, still yelling all the while, then reached for her hair, grabbing it violently before jerking her to her feet then dragging her by her hair into the kitchen.
He had reached for the nearest knife. She was now screaming and fighting to get away. She tried to loosen herself from his grip but was failing. She couldn't see what he was doing, all she had seen was the knife and then only the floor her feet stood on. Then she began to feel the agonizing pull from the knife on her hair, shredding it to pieces...
When it was over, she was backing away from the man, terrified as she saw him throw down the knife before leaning over the counter where he had cut her hair. He dropped his elbows there as he buried his face in his hands. Most likely ashamed.
She didn't bother with glancing back as she began to run up the stairs and into her room, before locking the door.
The vision ended.
I looked at her blank face, staring straight ahead.
"It was your father, wasn't it?" I asked.
She didn't answer, but only continued to stare.
I carefully reached up and took a few strands of her hair between my fingers. She didn't care. She didn't even flinch at my touch.
I ran my hand over the areas where it had been cut. Her hair was a mess.
"It wasn't his fault..." she said quietly.
I looked at her. How could that be? What made her say that it wasn't his fault? Firstly he had assaulted her then savagely ruined her beautiful hair...
She pulled her legs up to her chest and proceeded to hug them before shifting her gaze from the sea and to my face. I released her hair.
"He misses mom a lot... he said that I looked like mom with my long hair. So he cut it. Said it was too stressful to look at me with my hair long like hers..."
I didn't say anything. I wasn't sure what to do. I could tell she was still afraid from the mornings fight with her father. I knew she had stayed in her room all day and didn't dare to come out, afraid of what might happen if she did.
She continued to stare at me, unnerving me a little.
"Sorry..." she mumbled up at me. I was baffled. Sorry? Sorry for what?
"For making you wait..."
She must have knew what I was thinking by the expression on my face, though I don't know what I must have looked like.
"I had to wait until dad fell asleep... he was mad when I came home. He knew I was out all night..."
"All night?"
"Mm... after you left I stayed here until dawn."
An uncomfortable silence had befallen us as we watched the lulling waves of the ocean. Suddenly she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small mouse.
It was her pet mouse, Jumper. The same Jumper that appeared in my dream, or rather the grave of him. It was probably best not to mention this to Sakura.
"He wanted to come too. He doesn't like being home by himself."
I reached out and pat it's head with my finger as gently as I could without hurting him. He simply twitched his whiskers as he attempted to crawl out of her hand. She quickly covered him with her other hand so he couldn't escape.
Then from the deepest regions of my mind I heard that haunting melody return to me. I felt my heart clench at the thought of it as I tried to shake it off. Sudden I heard her speak.
"Tomorrow there's going to be a festival."
"So I've heard." I simply replied.
"Are you going?" she asked, her eyes still on her cupped hands where her pet mouse was.
"I don't have a reason to. Festivals are events held for the living."
She looked up at me, eyes sympathetic almost, causing me to wince. I didn't like that look. That look of pity. I hated it, and always had.
"I used to go with my cousin Tomoyo, until she moved. Her mother owns a Toy company but her mother had moved it when they raised the taxes. That was over a year ago now... I haven't been since."
Slowly she made a small opening to peer down into at her mouse before he jammed his nose into it, struggling to squirm through it. Sakura opened her hands and let the small creature crawl about and down her arm before she snatched it up again, cradling it gently within her grasp.
I couldn't help but smile at the simple action.
"Will you go with me to the festival? I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to."
I let the question run through my thoughts for a few moments. It wasn't a bad idea. After all, there was no where special I was required to be. There never was. Not only that but it would be something to pass the time with. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad...
"I guess I don't see why not. But I don't have a Kimono." I stated bluntly.
She stared up at me a little wide eyed, surprised. She then smiled happily up at me, her earlier ordeal forgotten apparently.
"That's ok! I don't have one either. Well, I do but it doesn't fit me anymore. But it doesn't matter. Lots of people go without wearing Kimono's! I admit, they're nice to have but that's all. Just nice. It's not like they're really important."
I smiled. It was cute how she would keep going on and on like that, even though sometimes it was annoying...
Without warning, she stood up. I stared up at her in confusion.
"Thanks for saying you'll come with me. I wasn't going to go unless someone would come too. Doing things alone is very fun and I want to have as much fun as possible!"
She bent down and unexpectedly gave me a hug, startling me a bit.
"Thank you. It means a lot to me." she said softly before letting me go. I felt suddenly very confused.
"I have to go now."
"Already?" I asked, a little disappointed. She nodded.
"Dad is leaving for a flight in two hours and I don't want to be caught being out again. Im not sure if he'll be ok, since he's still upset about mom's death. But I need to be there. For him at least. I hope you understand."
I nodded.
"Meet here tomorrow night?" I asked quickly.
She nodded and smiled, running off as she shouted, "Always!" and waved goodbye.
I stood to get a better view of her retreating figure. We had barely talked yet I felt like we had been sitting there for ages. I dusted my pants off as I watched her finally fade into the distance. For some reason my heart didn't feel as heavy as it was earlier but more light than anything else.
So tomorrow we were going to go to a festival. I had been to one festival before here in Japan. I think it was called the Sakura festival... I don't quite recall, but there were so many people wearing Kimono's. Perhaps I would get Sakura a little something before we went to the event.
Anyhow, I was looking forward to tomorrow night's events.
