CHAPTER 5
Sunday I had hibernated, and watched the Indian Jones Movies, ate most of the left overs in the fridge then climbed onto my newly purchased treadmill that I had set up in my dinning room, out of the way, but where I could still watch the TV.
And generally ignored my answering machine.
I had already caved in and promised my mother that I would be there for dinner.
God only knew who my mother had invited for lamb chops and the choice of her daughters.
It was worse than even I had imagined.
When I waltzed in at 2 minutes to 6 the Snyder twins were sitting in the lounge room discussing politics with Angie, while my father tried to watch the football. They all but salivated when Valerie swanned down the stairs wearing her Meg Ryan best, which was good for me as I snuck passed and into the kitchen without anyone noticing.
The Snyder twins had been at school at the same time as both Valerie and I. They were in the year between us, they were the kids in school that even the av geek was embarrassed to be seen talking to. If you looked up nerd in the dictionary there 'd be a picture of these two. Which is a mean, but fair description.
The general Plum family dinner table discussion was put on hold tonight in honor of our distinguished guests in favour of more intellectual debate: my job and my breasts. Mainly why did I have to do the things that I did, and especially why did I have to do them in front of all those photographers. As you could imagine my mother was chief orator.
Grandma especially liked the one photo of me slugging Damian. I still maintain that it was a trick of the light and that it just looked like I punched him. She also wants me to give her lessons. My nieces wanted to know how I managed to fly through the air land in the fountain and still have hold of my ice cream cone.
I felt one of my headaches coming on and excused myself early, leaving even before desert.
The Snyder twins didn't seem to mind.
