A/N- This is just a quick chapter, chapter 7 is already written and will probably be up tomarrow. I want to thank all the people who have left me a review, it means alot to me!
Luke slammed the door of his truck, and sat there in the parking lot of the loony bin steaming. He wanted to punch something, he wanted to hit something and deep down he wanted it to be Jess. He had tried so hard, he had tried so hard to save him. It dawned on him now that he had failed, perhaps he would recover, and perhaps he wouldn't. But on this first section of Jess' life, he had failed. It wasn't Luke's fault that he knew for sure. It was his Mom, and his Dad, his mom's intrigues with the bottle, and drugs and unsavoury men. It was men like Derek who must have done something horrible to him, of which he could still not fathom, or perhaps he just didn't want to. When Jess, had come to Star's Hollow, he had probably been too far-gone even then, Luke tried to reason, tried to assure himself. His head was swimming to the point where it seemed pointless to remain treading water anymore. He put on his hat, turned on the radio and peeled out faster than his truck had ever done in a parking lot. He was on the expressway, almost to the bridge when he remembered Jess' fish. He remembered the look on Jess' face as he bent down to look at them, the reflection of his face in the lights muted glare. Luke parked by the front of the building, in Jess' parking spot. As he walked across the side of the building his mind suddenly reared, the large metal door, with the bolt lock on it. Luke mustered a grimace as he thought of his toolbox in his truck, oh the things he could do to a steel door on a bad day. But it wasn't necessary Luke noted as he reached the door. The knob turned in his hand, and the heavy door swung open, revealing Jess' life, left in a hurry. Luke stood in the middle of the room surveying. He turned his head; saw the knife dropped carelessly on the cement floor, the blood in the sink, his father's pocket-knife deposited carefully in his menagerie of odd items on his bedside table. His most recent paperback still open to the page, penciled letters scrawled in the margins, in a messy hand. Luke went over to the fish and noted that they were all living; he fed them and sat back down on Jess' bed. He looked around the room, suddenly caught a feeling of hopelessness in his chest. Starring down at the knife, with flecks of blood on it. He wondered what Jess felt inside, how a person could hurt so much inside that they need to carve themselves up on the outside. Luke knew hurt, he knew his Mom dying, his father wasting away to a sickness in which he refused to submit, he knew his sister leaving him to fend on his own, he knew Rachel leaving him, he knew Jess disappointing him. He recalled all the things he had ever felt on those occasions. It was a deep hurt, a normal hurt. A hurt that you could live through, a hurt that you could bury in your heart and mourn on your own, but solider on in real life. Jess' hurt was not like that, surveying the room Luke realized Jess' hurt had taken over his life. It ruled him, absolutely swayed him. He had his head in his hands, sitting in Jess' darkened room when the door opened. For the slightest moment, Luke was sure it would be Jess, a smile on his face, looking much as he did when he first met him, but it wasn't. The silhouette standing the doorway was a girl, probably 18 and clearly startled to see him there.
"Maybe I have the wrong place." She was looking down at the address she held in her hand. She stopped for a moment, looking at him, studying him.
"Are you Luke?" Her voice was questioning, but soft, kind, almost sweet.
She stepped down the two stairs, to meet him in the middle of the room. Luke noticed her green eyes, eyes that seemed to go on forever.
"That's me."
"Where's Jess?"
"Who are you?" Luke asked.
"I'm Astoria, a friend of Jess'."
Luke searched his memory, whether or not Jess had ever mentioned her. She looked at him and smiled, although her eyes were still downcast and cloudy.
"Don't worry; I'm sure he hasn't mentioned me to you. I'm not one of those friends that comes up in polite company." She seemed almost like Jess in a way, in the way she dressed, the way she carried herself in an almost cocky way, and sad.
"Oh." Was Luke's only manageable reply, but hell, he thought in hindsight Jess could have as many fuck buddies as he wanted.
"What are you doing here?" She asked sitting down on his bed.
Luke cleared his throat and motioned to the fish. "Jess was… Ah… Arrested yesterday so I'm taking his fish home with me."
Luke watched her expressions change. "Arrested?" She breathed heavy. "For what?"
"Assault."
"Oh my god. I mean I asked him if he was okay and he said yes, and I knew he meant no, but he didn't have the after I finishing meeting with you, I'm going to go kick the shit out of somebody because I'm fucked up vibe. Oh my god."
"You saw him yesterday?" Luke asked still trying to interpret the words that had rushed out of her mouth in a hurry.
"Yeah, just to talk, we met at a coffee shop near my place."
"The police think he's crazy." Luke stated, trying to keep his voice away from emotion.
"Why?" She leaned her head against the wall, and hugged her knees.
"The guy he was beating up, he thought it was somebody else, the doctor had some fancy term for it, transference. He has all these cuts on him that he had made himself."
Astoria pointed to the knife on the floor. "You mean that?"
"You know about that?"
"As long as I've known him, he's had those and they just kept getting worse."
Luke remained stoic, trying to put on his brave face, while discussing his nephew's mental condition with his whore friend.
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I'm not exactly the poster girl for mental sanity either. But after all that had happened in his life, I don't know I didn't have the guts too, he was hurting and that was the way he got it out."
They both looked around the room, avoiding each other for a moment.
"I'm gonna get out of here, and uh, don't tell Jess I was here okay?" In a moment, she was off his bed, and heading for the door. Still looking at him with her deep green eyes, questioning him, starring at him.
"Alright."
The door slammed leaving him alone again.
