Disclaimer - Not mine, never was. No money being made. You get the point by now.
Reflections
Remus shuddered as he pulled his clothes off and got into his pajamas. He crawled into
bed, trying to sleep, but to no avail. He kept thinking about Sable. He twisted and turned, trying to forget her, but it was no use. She just stuck in his mind, refusing to come out.
'She hasn't really changed that much,' he told himself; meanwhile, trying to ignore a little voice that told him otherwise.
'Oh yes she has!' it said, finally coming out.
'No she hasn't. Sure, she's gotten taller and her hair's straight now. She's much prettier, but other than that, she's the same.' he reminded himself.
'Isn't that enough?! You were watching her all EVENING! She's about as perfect as humanly possible. Just admit it already.' the voice said
'So, she's perfect. Big deal.'
'So perfect, that you wish she'd like you as more than a friend. Don't you?' the little voice prodded.
'I do not like her like that. She's a friend, nothing more.' he reminded himself sternly.
'She's only a friend now, what about later? If you'd have listened to me two years ago, you'd have saved yourself some of this trouble.' it replied.
'You told me to kidnap her!' he reminded the voice angrily.
'Well, at least she would have been with you.'
'And both of her parents would have killed me, therefore eliminating you in the process. Wait a minute, that's not such a bad idea at the moment.' he said sarcastically.
'Oh, get over it Remus Lupin,' the voice said, ' you're in love with the girl. Why not just admit it!'
'If I do, will it make you shut up and go away?' he questioned, getting frustrated.
'Not a likely chance, buddy.' it replied.
'Then what do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?'
'Well, for beginners, you can admit that you fancy the girl. Then, quit using the lycanthropy as an excuse. Yes, the rush of hormones have effected you since the full moon's so near, but that's no excuse.'
'What if what I'm feeling, passes after the full moon? Then what?'
"It won't pass, you hard headed idiot!!!! Has it ever? Who was the one person you were thinking of every time you've transformed for the past two years. Who was the one that kept you awake for nights on end? Who's the one that made you feel better every time you got a letter from her? Who? You answer me that, mister Moony!'
'I can't do it,' Remus thought, trying to find a legitimate way to get around the voice that he knew was right.
'You can't what? Love her? Are you nuts? It's too late for that! You're already in over your head.'
'I don't want to hurt her,' he thought.
'How can you hurt her, Remus? She's just like you. In fact, she's probably having this same conversation with herself right now! What've I got to say to make you believe me?' it questioned, completely exasperated.
'It's not right.'
'I'll tell you what,' it said, 'I'll come back in a few days, just to prove this isn't some little crush you're going through. Yes, at the moment you're lusting after her. You realize that every thought you've had about her this evening had been animal instinct driven, and I know that. But just remember, as a ranula , she goes through the same thing. Just remember that you hard headed mule!'
And with that final threat, the little voice disappeared back into the recesses of Remus' subconscious. He turned over and buried his head in the scarlet clad pillow.
"This is ridiculous! I'm arguing with myself about her. She's right, I am nuts. Maybe I should go to the nurse. Maybe she could give me something to stop this." he said quietly. He turned over again, soon falling asleep as the first rays of light peaked through the Gryffindor tower's windows. In his mind, he heard a slight chuckle.
'Pomfrey good, but she can't help you this time, Moony.'
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Sable twisted and turned in her four poster bed all night. She was rooming with Lily since all the other dorms were full. The chill of pre-dawn made her shiver as she pulled on her robe. She got out of bed and walked over to the window, looking out sleepily. She hadn't slept all night, her mind so full of Remus it hurt. She knew the full moon was coming, she could feel it within herself. Often times, the closer the full moon got, the less she slept. However, this time it wasn't the bright orb that now lay so low in the sky that had kept her awake. It was Remus.
She wandered aimlessly around the room, trying to collect her scattered thoughts.
'Alright, here are the major questions,' she told herself, ' should I tell Remus more about the potion I've been working on? Should I tell him exactly how I feel ever time he gets within a ten mile radius of me? And last but not least, should I tell anyone else how I feel?' She stopped pacing after finding herself back at the window.
'Yes, yes, and yes.' came a distant reply.
'Why should I tell anyone anything?' She questioned her conscious.
'Because it'll make you feel better.' the little voice said soothingly.
'I don't think I should say anything. I mean this is all hormone induced, right? After the moon begins to wane, this will all be over with, right?'
'Wrong! That's what you tell yourself every month.' It seemed like her little voice was getting annoyed with her indecisiveness. "Give me a break. Every time he looks at you, you melt. You know him better than the boys ever will. You know what makes him tick. You're not suddenly going to make me believe this is some fluttering crush! You know you like him, why not admit it already?'
'That's all it is, a crush! And no I don't like him like that!" she defended.
'Then how come every time your old boyfriend David kissed you, you imagined you were holding another particular brown haired blue, eyed boy who he just so coincidently resembled.' it charged immediately
'Okay, that was a mistake!'
'So don't make another one." the voice screamed, "If you don't want to tell everyone, write Remus a letter. Tell him to meet you somewhere by himself. Give it to your owl to deliver to him at breakfast. Meet him and tell him everything. And I mean EVERYTHING!!'
'Okay, fine you win. I'll write the letter. But if he runs from me, I'm blaming you!'
'Good, it's about time you listened. And he's not going to run from you. Too bad you didn't do like I told you when you left.' it said smugly.
'What? Jump him right there in the train station? I was fourteen years old, for Merlin's sake.' Sable retorted.
'So, that just goes to prove that girls mature faster than boys. Besides, it would have worked.'
'Yeah, and mom and dad would still be breathing down my neck. No, that was definitely one of you worse ideas, I think.'
'Like I said, you have no originality. Whatever, just write the letter already.'
And with that, her little voice was gone. She sat down at a desk and lit a nearby candle with her wand. She pulled out some parchment, ink, and quills. Lily rolled over and called out to James in her sleep, then was still again. Sable collected her thoughts and began to write.
'At least you're happy, Lily.' she thought glumly.
'Why won't you let yourself be happy, Sable?' the small voice called to her.
'Because I'm scared.' She answered truthfully.
**A few hours later (Early morning..)**
Sable was still up when Lily began to stir in her sleep. After another ten minutes, Lily emerged from the bed, hair a mess and eyes still red from sleep.
"Already up, Sable?" she yawned.
"I never went to sleep last night." she replied truthfully. She was still sitting in the desk chair where she had written the letter. Lily gave her an odd look and shook her head.
"It's because it's a full moon tonight?' she asked, sounding more awake now.
"Yes, I think so," Sable answered glumly. Lily noticed the circles under Sable's eyes and the lack of energy. 'Is this what they go through every month?' she thought sympathetically. Sable looked to the red-headed girl and suddenly grinned. "Well hurry up already, Lily!" she said, "I want to eat something before I turn fifty! Are you always this slow in the mornings?" Sable exclaimed , feigning starvation. Lily ducked as a pillow came flying by her head. The two girls laughed and Lily went to get ready for the day while Sable stared at the envelope in her hand.
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Remus did not stay asleep for long. He was roused up from his light nap by the sounds of Peter bumbling around the room. He tried stuffing his head under his pillow, but nothing worked. He could hear Sirius yawning and James fumbling around for his glasses. Even though the Head Boy had his own room, he still crashed in the dorms with the other students occasionally. Remus figured he was not going to get much sleep, so he pulled himself out of the bed. In a quick fifteen minutes, he was up and dressed, but on the verge of falling asleep once again. The boys came out dorms and sat in the deserted Common Room, waiting until breakfast. No one else was there, so the boys did not reign their conversation.
"What time are we meeting tonight?" Sirius asked sleepily.
"Right after dusk, I suppose." Peter answered.
"I've got rounds tonight with Lily." James said quickly, "I'll get there as soon as I possibly can unless something else comes up."
They all turned to Remus, who was in the middle of a yawn. The noticed that his canines were starting to get pointier, never a good sign.
"Sounds fine to me. In fact, I'd be surprised if Pomfrey even came to take me to the Willow, seems like she lost a liking for the job at the end of last year when I almost changed right in front of her." he grinned. The boys laughed, remembering the incident.
The girls came down the stairs from Lily's room and joined in the chit-chat. It was soon time for breakfast, so the group set out for the Great Hall. As they entered the hall, Sable was pushed up against someone; before she could turn around the boy pushed her out of the way.
"Watch it, you stinking Gryffindor!" he said venomously. Sable looked up into the face of a burly seventh year Slytherin named Cody Flint. He sneered as he settled his gaze onto the girl. The Marauders quickly came to her side, but she waved them off.
"Well, it's good to know some things never change, Flint." she said sweetly. "I've been gone for two years and you're disposition of a bad egg, as rotten as ever." She gave a false smile to the boy and shook her head. "It's good to know there is some stability in this world. Oh, and by the way, how about you watch where YOU are going. In most countries, ladies go first. However, I suppose that common etiquette is a little advanced for your Slytherin intellect." she said, never batting an eyelash.
Cody Flint sneered even harder, if that was possible. His dark hair was messy, and he had obviously just woken up, since he was in a mood worse than normal.
"I can't believe that they let you come back, Robbins. Personally, I thought it an improvement when we didn't have to lay eyes on you after fourth year." he said icily.
"I never knew I had been kicked out, Flint. Thank you for informing me of that. And I have a hard time believing that you didn't miss seeing me. Because you sure seemed to watch me an awful lot during Potions our fourth year. Or was I just imagining all those cute, little looks." Flint actually seemed to color for a moment before trying to retaliate against the girl. However, Sirius, who liked no Slytherin, stepped into the fray.
"Why don't you go crawl back to whatever Hellspawn created you? I'm sure they're missing you right about now!" he said vehemently. He felt a confrontation coming on, and it didn't promise to end prettily. "We've got nothing to say to cheating, low life scum like you."
"Oh, still sore about our last match, are you Black? Maybe next time, you'll keep your eyes on the Bludger, instead of any girl who walks by in a skirt." Flint cornered. Sirius was really peeved. He made for the Slytherin Quidditch captain, intending on sending him to the infirmary for the remainder of the weekend. However, James intervened, trying to stop the impending chaos.
"That's enough, both of you." he said firmly. Sirius gave him a questioning look and stopped.
"But, James...."
"Look Sirius, I'm as much up for a good Slytherin beating as you, but not where everyone can see." he said. He turned and stared daggers at the other boy. Flint only shrugged and walked away. He turned his head over his shoulder, intent on enticing Sirius a little more.
"Watch your back on the field, Black. There might be more than Bludgers flying at you face during out next match." He said stonily. He turned and sauntered off to the Slytherin table. With the impending fight gone, James turned his attention to Sable.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" James asked.
"No, I'm fine. But I won't be if we don't get something to eat. Come on." James looked puzzled, but motioned for the others to follow her. Remus was seething with anger. 'Flint had no right to do that. She didn't even do anything to him. Oh well, I think she got her point across to him quick enough. We'll just have to keep a close watch on her for the next few days.' he thought.
The six friends found their way to the table and sat down to eat. Halfway through, the sky was suddenly filled with owls of various sizes, shapes, and colors. A small barn owl dropped a letter in front of Sable while James and Peter each got their mail. She opened it and read carefully, then sighed in frustration.
"Something the matter?" Remus asked curiously.
"Mom and dad aren't going to be back for four more months at least. The Magical Embassy in Bulgaria has them working overtime trying to find the ones responsible for all these random attacks that have been popping up. They've got a couple of good leads, and the head honchos at the Ministry doesn't want them to leave until the whole thing is finished." she explained.
"I see." Remus replied. Just then, a small envelope fluttered down and landed in front of him. He grabbed it and read the cover. 'Don't open this until you are by yourself' it read. Remus looked at it for a moment before stuffing it in his pocket. Breakfast was over and the group soon stood from the table.
"Where you guys headed?" Peter asked.
"Quidditch pitch"
"Library"
"To sleep!"
Came various replies. Sable said nothing. She had wanted to speak with the headmaster about somewhere to work on her potions in private. The dungeons were where the Potions class was set up, but she didn't want to work down there where just anyone could have access to her work. She grabbed her books, intent on finding the headmaster when Dumbledore appeared behind her.
"Ms. Robbins, may I have a word with you in my office?" he asked politely.
"Of course, headmaster." she replied. She turned to the others and waved. They smiled and continued their previous conversation. After she disappeared, Sirius and James headed for the Pitch, Lily went to the library, and Remus headed back to the dorms. Peter left the Great Hall, content with watching the others on the Pitch practice.
Remus made his way back to the dorms, intent on sleeping for a few more hours, but the letter in his pocket took priority over sleep. He sat on his bed and opened the envelope carefully. He was surprised to see it was written in Sable's handwriting.
Remus,
There are a few things I need to tell you, and only you. Nothing is wrong, so please don't freak out on me. Most of what I have to say centers on a certain subject that involves both of us. Meet me by the lake at noon, unless you have other plans. I want you to know about this stuff before anyone else since it concerns you more than them.
Sable
'That's odd' Remus thought, 'I wonder what it is. Well, it can wait for a little while. I'm going back to sleep." He folded the letter and put it in a nearby drawer before going back to sleep.
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A few hours later
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Sable sat down beneath the tall tree and waited patiently for Remus. She smiled, remembering how many times she had sat in the exact same spot when she used to go to Hogwarts. Anytime she got upset or overwhelmed, she would come to the lake and sit, sorting out her problems. 'Well at least today isn't starting out bad,' she thought, 'Dumbledore's letting me use an old classroom to work on my potions, so I can't complain. Now, if I can just tell Remus what I need to, I'll be fine.' She closed her eyes and leaned back against the tree trunk. She didn't know how long she stayed there, but Remus' voice jerked her back into reality.
"Am I interrupting your nap?" he asked, grinning, "I'll come back later if you want, I promise."
"No, you're fine, Remus." she answered. She motioned for him to sit, and he did. "I guess you want to know what I called you out here for, right?"
"Yes, it'd be nice to know." he admitted. Whatever it was she had to say was really serious, he could tell that much instantly.
"Well, do me a favor. Once I start talking, just let me go. Cause if you stop me, I'll never get the guts to do this again." Remus nodded and she started her story. "Well, you see, the reason we came back to England wasn't totally because my parents were transferred. My last year at Salem I done some research, and I think I may have found a potion that can help werewolves ward of the psychological affects of lycanthropy. I took a book from the American Ministry. It was an old Druid potions book written by the Celtic wizards of long ago. I've translated most of the entire book because it was rumored to have a cure for any and all people who had been touched by dark magic. After translating some parts of the book, I found a potion that was used to keep vampires from going batty during their peak feeding times, which just happened to be full moons. Well, I figured that if I changed up a few things, I might be able to deviate from the recipe and make another type of potion. One that makes wolves keep their mental awareness during the changes. I brewed the potion, but realized that I was missing a key ingredient. I needed the blood of someone or something that was immune to a wolf bite. At the time, I didn't know what it was, that was when I sent you the letter asking if you had any ideas. When you said that animals are immune, I tried to use the blood of a cat. It didn't work out. The potion went berserk and blew up on me."
Remus nodded, remembering the alleged letter. At the time, he had thought that she was crazy, asking for something that was not affected by a wolf's bite. Apparently, she had found something, though.
"I gave up on the potion after that since I didn't know where to find the needed blood. I destroyed the majority of the potion, but kept a few vials out for further study. When I was unpacking after we moved back here, I set up a few experimental vials in my room to study. While I was getting my cauldron out, I dropped a vial of the experimental wolf potion. I tried to clean it up, but cut my hand pretty badly in the process on one of the shards of broken glass. When I stood up, a few drops of my blood fell into the puddle of potion. The potion was a dark blue originally, but when my blood fell into it, it turned clear. Just like the vampire potion was supposed to. I cleaned the mess up, not thinking about it for a while. Then, a few days later, I realized that I may have found the key ingredient I needed, my own blood."
Remus looked at the girl in complete astonishment. Sable's head was bowed to the ground and she seemed to be overly upset about the whole deal. Personally, Remus thought that it was wonderful, especially if it was the cure. He scooted over to her and tried to comfort her, still confused as to why she was upset.
"Sable, this is great." he said quietly, trying to mask his own happiness. "You may have found something that can help your parents and me. Why are you so upset about it?" Sable shook her head.
"You don't understand, Remus. I took that book from the Ministry without telling anyone. You know what the penalty is for stealing from the Ministry. If they ever find out that I took it, I could be killed. Besides, I'm not even sure if the potion will work. I never tested it on anyone; I'm too afraid to."
"But it changed color, like it was supposed to, right? Isn't that an indication that it was successful?" he asked hopefully.
"That potion had been in the vial for at least a week when my blood came into contact with it. There could very well could have been some type of impurity in it from the overseas trip. Besides, it doesn't make any sense, I mean think about it. Why would I be immune to a werewolf's bite? I'm no different from anyone else." She said quickly.
"Sable, you are the offspring of two people who were bitten by the exact same wolf. You're blood is that of a pure-blooded werewolf, not an infected one like me or your parents. Werewolves can't infect each other with lycanthropy because they already carry the virus." Remus pointed out.
"So, what your saying, is that you think the key ingredient for that potion is the very blood of a werewolf?" she asked, suddenly interested. Remus shook his head, she wasn't getting the point.
"If everything you're telling me is true, Sable, I think your blood may be the key." he said gently. Sable's eyes got larger as she seemed to remember something important.
"You may be right, Remus." she admitted. "Ever since I was born, I've been around when my parents changed. And through all those years, I've never been bitten by them. They always seemed the same around me. But, I chalked that up to me being their child, and them not wanting to hurt me. I've never been around any other wolf when they've changed, so I don't know if it would work. I always seemed to be able to calm them down after the changes. It's like I could read their minds or something." Sable shuddered at the memories, since she never liked seeing anyone go through the change; it just scared her.
Remus felt her body shiver, and he pulled her close in a friendly hug. He was so excited that she may have found something that would help him.
"Do you think you could re-brew the potion?" he asked, breaking the silence. Sable was still formulating ideas in her head, going over the questions that plagued her.
"I can't just brew that potion and give it to you Remus." she said pointedly shaking her head. Remus eye's flickered with annoyance for a moment, but she continued. "There is too much gray area. What if I'm not immune from a wolf bite? If I brew the potion and give it to you with my blood in it, it may have some weird side effects. I don't want that to happen to you, Remus. There's no telling what could happen."
"Then how will we know, if I don't try it." he asked, getting annoyed with her.
"I can only think of one way at the moment." she said sarcastically, picking up on his annoyment. 'Doesn't he realize that I'd do whatever it took to help him? I just don't want to give him a potion that I haven't tested yet.' she thought. Remus stood up and glared at her.
"And what would that be, Ms. Robbins." he said sarcastically. 'Merlin, it seems like she doesn't want to help me anymore!' then the logical part of his brain kicked in and slapped him, ' She just doesn't want to hurt me.'
"When you change tonight, I'm going with you. I'll annoy you enough to make you bite me. If I'm not affected, then I'll know that I'm immune." she stated simply, standing up to face him. "Then, I can brew the potion with a clear conscious that I'm not going to kill you when you drink it." Her face was becoming flushed, and he could tell she was about to loose her temper. Remus immediately regretted becoming annoyed with her.
"And if you're not immune, then what?" he said trying to talk her out of the ridiculous idea; and immediately kicking himself for getting her upset. He knew when she set her sights on something, she would not let go until she achieved her ends.
"Then we'll find out what happens when a pure blooded she- wolf gets bitten by another wolf." she answered bluntly. She turned to go back to the castle, seething with anger. 'How dare he. I try to help him, and he tries to tell me what to do.'
Remus watched as she went back to the castle in a hurry. 'I am not going to let her come tonight. What would I do if I hurt her? Besides, I have the potion she sent last month, that will help with the transformations. I can't let her put herself in danger because of me. I'll just ask Lily to keep her occupied after we leave. That'll keep her out of trouble.' Remus thought to himself. He watched Sable disappear into the school, and soon followed suit, trying to locate the other Marauders and Lily.
A/N - Did you like the little voices? A friend of mine actually gave me the idea because she is constantly arguing with herself. It's hilarious to watch her when she gets going. Anyhow, remember to review. Later.
