Donkey Kong 64 all messed up
Chapter 3: Jabroni Jungle
Disclaimer: Yeah, you know the story.
Man, again I'm sorry for the long absence. Thanks to Cloudy-Skies86 for actually reading the second chapter even though you didn't like the first chapter.
DK: Well, Shotgun, check, Laser Side Effects, check, annoying narrator/story creator/Matt, check
Matt: (In a joking Texas voice) I'm goin' to kill you!
DK: Bite Me!
Matt: Is that a promise?
Monkey Viewer: YOU'RE WEIRD!
Matt: Now which weapon should I use now?
Monkey Viewer: I say those grenades look extra deadly today!
Matt: Good Choice. (Straps the grenade to the Monkey and slaps him out the window. An explosion follows and bits of shrapnel hit the Kremlin Viewers.)
Monkey Viewers: YAY!
DK: Anyway, where is Jabroni Jungle?
Matt: Uh, right in front of you.
(DK turns around to see a big wooden nameplate saying Jabroni Jungle.)
Matt: CoughDumbassCough
DK: Screw you!
(Then that big stupid annoying wooden mailbox thing that checks if you've got enough bananas to enter the stage appears.)
Big Stupid Annoying Wooden Mailbox Thing: Actually my name is Bob.
Bob: Anyway…(starts the growling voice) you need 1 banana to pass through! You haven't even got one.
DK: No but I do have (reaches behind his back and pulls out his shotgun) THIS! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!
(Bob slaps him)
DK: (starts crying) No fair… MATT!
Matt: What? Oh yeah. Release… THE TERMITES!!
(Bob gets eaten by the termites)
Matt: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
DK: HEY! That's mine!
Matt: Yeah but at least I didn't get slapped when I said it!
(DK gives Matt the finger and enters. He emerges to find a jungle. The trees are purple and the lakes are pink)
DK: What the Fck!
Matt: Yeah…Um…My Bad. I ran out of green and blue colours, so I had to improvise.
Monkey Viewer: Hey, I've got green and blue! (He throws them to Matt. Matt fixes it)
DK: That's better! Hey look! It's Funky Smell Kong Armoury Store. I betcha he has some bad ass guns in there that shoot out huge missiles and blow up enemies to smithereens.
(Next Scene DK is talking to Funk Smell)
Funky Smell: Here is my masterpiece my man.
DK: An apple.
Funky Smell: Yeah. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. After you've eaten it you can throw the core at your enemies.
(DK's draw drops to the floor)
DK: This better be free.
Funky Smell: Free! No way! I'm charging 60 coins.
Matt: Now usually I encourage people mooching DK out of his money like this! Like when DK bought a "Limited Edition" Feather that apparently Boxing Legend Boxer Kong had used to sign his retirement for 1000 coins. Or when DK bought a "Mint Condition" Mint for 100 coins. But not this time. (Matt slaps Funky Smell out the window. He drops some napalm after him)
Matt: DK, You can use my Assault Rifle. I've installed infinite ammo, and you can change it from semi-automatic to fully automatic.
DK: Donk, Donk, Donkey Kong! (Does his dance)
Matt: But that means no Christmas present.
DK: Bitch! Alright. Diddy better appreciate this!
Well the next chapter everybody s going to be KUNG FU FIGHTING!! Please R&R.
