Donkey Kong 64 all messed up

Chapter 3: Jabroni Jungle

Disclaimer: Yeah, you know the story.

Man, again I'm sorry for the long absence. Thanks to Cloudy-Skies86 for actually reading the second chapter even though you didn't like the first chapter.

DK: Well, Shotgun, check, Laser Side Effects, check, annoying narrator/story creator/Matt, check

Matt: (In a joking Texas voice) I'm goin' to kill you!

DK: Bite Me!

Matt: Is that a promise?

Monkey Viewer: YOU'RE WEIRD!

Matt: Now which weapon should I use now?

Monkey Viewer: I say those grenades look extra deadly today!

Matt: Good Choice. (Straps the grenade to the Monkey and slaps him out the window. An explosion follows and bits of shrapnel hit the Kremlin Viewers.)

Monkey Viewers: YAY!

DK: Anyway, where is Jabroni Jungle?

Matt: Uh, right in front of you.

(DK turns around to see a big wooden nameplate saying Jabroni Jungle.)

Matt: CoughDumbassCough

DK: Screw you!

(Then that big stupid annoying wooden mailbox thing that checks if you've got enough bananas to enter the stage appears.)

Big Stupid Annoying Wooden Mailbox Thing: Actually my name is Bob.

Bob: Anyway…(starts the growling voice) you need 1 banana to pass through! You haven't even got one.

DK: No but I do have (reaches behind his back and pulls out his shotgun) THIS! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!

(Bob slaps him)

DK: (starts crying) No fair… MATT!

Matt: What? Oh yeah. Release… THE TERMITES!!

(Bob gets eaten by the termites)

Matt: MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

DK: HEY! That's mine!

Matt: Yeah but at least I didn't get slapped when I said it!

(DK gives Matt the finger and enters. He emerges to find a jungle. The trees are purple and the lakes are pink)

DK: What the Fck!

Matt: Yeah…Um…My Bad. I ran out of green and blue colours, so I had to improvise.

Monkey Viewer: Hey, I've got green and blue! (He throws them to Matt. Matt fixes it)

DK: That's better! Hey look! It's Funky Smell Kong Armoury Store. I betcha he has some bad ass guns in there that shoot out huge missiles and blow up enemies to smithereens.

(Next Scene DK is talking to Funk Smell)

Funky Smell: Here is my masterpiece my man.

DK: An apple.

Funky Smell: Yeah. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. After you've eaten it you can throw the core at your enemies.

(DK's draw drops to the floor)

DK: This better be free.

Funky Smell: Free! No way! I'm charging 60 coins.

Matt: Now usually I encourage people mooching DK out of his money like this! Like when DK bought a "Limited Edition" Feather that apparently Boxing Legend Boxer Kong had used to sign his retirement for 1000 coins. Or when DK bought a "Mint Condition" Mint for 100 coins. But not this time. (Matt slaps Funky Smell out the window. He drops some napalm after him)

Matt: DK, You can use my Assault Rifle. I've installed infinite ammo, and you can change it from semi-automatic to fully automatic.

DK: Donk, Donk, Donkey Kong! (Does his dance)

Matt: But that means no Christmas present.

DK: Bitch! Alright. Diddy better appreciate this!

Well the next chapter everybody s going to be KUNG FU FIGHTING!! Please R&R.