CHAPTER THE SECOND: In which Chippy has his revenge.

The crowd was in an uproar when the dubious diva vaporized. Some shouted for their money back, others for the police, still others screamed for revolution. I simply sat still. Chippy had his revenge. Justice prevailed! In inwardly applauded my little friend, and swore to help him regain his status at the opera.

I strolled from my, or rather Chippy's box, and meandered up the velvet halls. Soon I came upon a sign that read in bright golden letters: "HOGWASH!" This was a new development! I had never before heard of such an idea being imposed at the opera. It was a scandal! It was disrespect! It was… well, rather interesting. I followed the sign, which bore a large emblem of an arrow that told me the direction in which I was to head.

Soon I came upon a large "dunking-pool". An exceedingly fat man in a pig suit sat waiting to be dunked.

"Ah!" the slob cried, "Come here and try your luck!"

"I do not believe in luck." I sated coolly, dunking the man in a single blow.

Down he sank. His weight drug him to the bottom. A trail of bubbles was all that was left.

"Goodness!" I cried, "Who would think that he couldn't swim! Help please! A man is drowning!"

Several burly men dove to the rescue and retrieved, with great difficulty, the unconscious individual.

"Ah! My love!" screamed a hysterical woman in a gaudy dress, "PIANGI! H, h, h, he's…. DEAD!"

"Actually, Ma'am…" I began, feeling the man's pulse.

"It's that PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!" the woman cried, "Let us all gather to mob him without evidence, and kill him without a trial, only to end up in prison for life for taking the law into our own hands! Sound like a good idea?"

"OUI!" The crown cried unanimously.

"Half a moment!" I objected, noticing the pure folly of their actions, "I'm sure that if someone would just give the poor fellow mouth-to-mouth he would…"

"Still be dead!" the woman screamed.

"And it would not be as much fun!" a ballet girl with a name tag reading "Little Meg" said.

"And I like violence!" added another ballet girl, who was so thin that she looked like a walking corpse.

"And ever since I rescued that phantom fellow I've had an urge for DRAMATIC BETRAYAL!" an older woman in a black taffeta dress added in her most theatrical voice.

"But you'll be in trouble with the law!" I cried.

"Blast the law!" the first woman (the one who started the trouble) laughed, "Yay violence!"

The mob marched off carrying clubs, cudgels, knifes, forks, spoons, and insurance policies that they brandished feloniously. They made a terrible din! Soon they even began singing old lynching chants, shouting phrases from witch hunting manuals, and bandying Monty Python jokes. (The latter symptom of the mob seemed totally out of place.)

I sat for a moment debating on weather to help the phantom personage. I decided against it. It would be to much of a betrayal of my dear Chippy! I was still lost in my thoughts when a cold and somewhat hairy had grasped my shoulder and a voice cried, "Christine? Is it you?"

What a hairy hand! I thought.

Thus ends chapter the second. Please review for the sake of my poor friend, Chippy!

Author's note: Thank you, you kind people for being so good to Chippy and reviewing. It is already helping mend his broken heart!