Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT
Warnings: Tissue
Mindless Babble:
The brothers were in the middle of their second game when Master Splinter entered the room. Three pairs of eyes looked up. Three sets of young voice asked the same question.
"How's Raph?"
Splinter sighed. He took the chess board and set it down on the floor next to the bed. He sat down and gathered his sons into a fierce hug. This only served to scare the turtles even more.
"Sensei?" Leo asked quietly.
Splinter suddenly found it very hard to talk around the lump that appeared in his throat. "My sons, Raphael has always been more akin to the shadows. Tonight that darkness tried to take him from us."
"Raph tried to kill himself." Splinter stared down in shock at the one he thought of as his eldest.
"NO! Raph wouldn't do that!" Mikey cried out. "He's stronger then that!"
"But when was the last time we told him that?" asked Donnie, quietly.
Splinter tried to keep the tears from falling. "Leonardo is correct, but Raphael will live if we help him."
"But what can we do?" Mikey was past the point of tears.
"We need to be there for him, even before he wakes up," came a whispered reply.
Splinter again found himself staring in awe of his blue clad son. Leo looked up at him, tears shining in eyes that held too much wisdom for one so young.
"May I go be with him?"
Splinter could only nod, the lump in his throat becoming to big to speak around.
Leo walked into his brother's room with a heavy heart. The last time he had entered, he had found Raphael near death. The fear of finding the same nearly overwhelmed the young turtle.
Leo slowly approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it. His breath caught when he saw the still form of his brother. In his mind's eye he saw his brother still bathed in his own blood. He blinked several times trying to dispel the frightening image. When he looked again, he simply saw his pale brother under thick, warm blankets. He reached out and brushed his brother's cheek.
"Oh, Raph! I'm so sorry! Master Splinter yelled at you for not protecting Mikey, but then I go and fail to protect you!" He let his head drop into his hands and the bitter tears of shame and loss fall. "I let you down."
"No, you didn't, Leo." The gentle voice was accompanied by a three fingered hand on his shoulder. Michelangelo looked at his brother with such compassion, Leo felt his heart break. "Raph pushed us away and when he wakes up, we'll find out why."
"But what if he doesn't wake up? What if... "
Leo was cut off by Mikey who was shaking his head as he said, "Don't say that! Raph will wake up and everything will get better! It has too!"
That broke Leo and he wrapped his arms around his youngest brother, allowing the rest of the tears to fall. Mikey stood there, quietly holding his brother. He would save his tears for a more personal time.
The clock on the nightstand read 9:35 pm and Donatello was almost finished with the story. He knew it was his brother's favorite and he didn't mind reading it aloud. He rather enjoyed it, himself.
"And then the oni king cried out, pleading with Momotaro to spare his life. Without his horns the evil ogre had no power "
Don looked up at the moan that had interrupted him. "Raph?"
He set the book down on the floor and scooted closer to his brother's head. The hours after Leo had found Raphael lying in a pool of his own blood had lengthened into days and those in turn had gone into weeks. Leo's guilt had caused him to give up long ago, though Michelangelo and Donatello still held a flicker of hope that their brother would return to them.
Another moan was accompanied by fluttering eyelids. Raphael's eyes slowly focused on Don's smiling features.
"I'm alive?" he managed to rasp out.
Don knew he wouldn't be able to wipe the smile off his face for a very long time. "Yeah, you're alive! Boy, ya gave us a scare! Wait 'till I tell "
"Why?'
Don looked at his brother, confused. "'Why' what? You're the one that tried to kill himself. You tell me!"
Raph weakly shook his head. "No, I meant, why am I still alive?"
The other turtle blinked in shock. "Because Leo and Master Splinter saved you."
An angry sigh emanated from the injured turtle. "Why did they bother?"
Don noticed, in the back of his mind, the fact that the smile he thought would take forever to wipe off was gone. "You're our brother! That's reason enough."
Raph turned away from his sibling. "So it was an obligation."
"What! No! We love you, Raph!" Don sighed in frustration. Why the shell was his brother being so stupid?
"Love?" Raph laughed softly. "Don't kid yourself, Don."
The other turtle's jaw dropped. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Unconditional love doesn't exist." Raph turned his head so he looked directly into Donatello's eyes. "Besides, how can anyone love something they hate?"
This conversation was spinning wildly out of control for the young turtle in purple. He was hurt and confused. "You think we actually hate you?"
Raphael sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm tired, Donny."
It didn't take a genius to see the double meaning in that statement. "Alright, I'll let you rest. But this conversation is not over."
"Whatever."
Donnie left his brother's side only after making sure he was truly asleep. He went into the kitchen to try and find something to clear the confusion that was clouding his usually lucid mind. What he found was master Splinter.
His master had been drinking tea at the small wooden table. One look at his sons face and he knew. He stood up and walked over to where Donatello stood trembling Kneeling, he pulled the young turtle into a strong embrace. One the child returned whole-heartedly.
"I I don't understand, Master Splinter," Donnie stammered out. "Why does Raph think we don't love him?"
"Perhaps he has been surrounded by the shadows for too long," Splinter gently replied.
"What shadows?"
"The ones surrounding his soul." Both Splinter and Don jumped at the sound of another's voice. Standing in the doorway was Leo who was holding Mikey's hand. The youngest turtle had tears streaming down his face, afraid of what his oldest brother had just said.
Splinter sighed and motioned for his other sons to join the hug. Mikey nearly threw himself into it. Leo more sedately walked over. Instead of curling up in his father's hug, he wrapped his arms around both his brothers and his mentor.
"Now that he's awake, we need to figure out a way to get rid of those shadows."
