Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT. I do not own "The Prophet".

Warnings: Sap

Mindless Babble:


Raphael slept through the night, waking early in the morning. To his surprise, he found Leo and Mikey on either side of him and Donnie at the foot of the bed. All three were sound asleep. Raph slowly sat up, trying not to wake his brothers. He looked at his arms and carefully unwrapped his left one. The skin had mended for the most part, but it would never fully heal. There would be scars that he would carry for the rest of his life; marks to remind him of his failure and dishonor. Tears, unbeckoned, came to his eyes.

"Why?" he whispered. "Why couldn't you just let me go?'

"Because we're selfish."

Raph's head whipped up to stare at his older brother. Leo still had his head on the pillow, but his eyes were opened wide. Shame kept Raphael from saying anything so Leo sat up and continued.

"I know that you probably won't believe me, but it is true. We do care about you!"

"I don't wanna imagine a world without my best friend in it," Mikey chimed in. He snuggled a little closer to his brother.

"I think, for once, Mikey speaks for us all," added Donnie. "You may be our brother, but you are also our friend."

Raph snorted. "Friendship is as much of a lie as love is! I'm not blind! You enjoy the times you don't have to be near me!"

Donnie, being the only one to have experienced Raph's line of thinking, was the only one able to respond. "Raph, we enjoy being with you but in the same heartbeat, we fear that dark side of you! We want to help, but you have to let us!"

Raph opened his mouth to respond, but then Splinter entered the room "Alright my sons, please go to your room and get some proper rest. I will stay with Raphael."

"Yes, Master Splinter," the three young voices said in unison. The rat watched as they filed out of the room. Then he took a seat on the edge of the bed. He reached out and took the arm that had no bandages on it. He looked at the wounds and nodded.

"The wounds seem to be healing well enough." Raphael looked away, embarrassment coloring his cheeks. Splinter smiled. "And the color seems to be returning to your face."

When Raphael refused to look at him, Splinter mover to the chair that sat by the young turtle's bed. He took an old and worn book from his gi. He opened it and flipped to a particular chapter. He looked at his son, who was snuggling down into the pile of blankets that cover the bed.

"Would you like me to read to you?" Splinter asked.

Raphael rolled over long enough to give his adopted father a scathing look. "I'm 13 years old. I don't think I need a bedtime story."

Splinter smiled, looking a bit embarrassed. "Of course, my son. Sometimes I forget how old you are. I am sorry."

The turtle shrugged and rolled back over, so his shell faced the rat. He lay perfectly still hoping that Splinter would think him asleep and maybe catch a nap himself. He didn't have long to wait. Soon the sounds of gentle snoring filled the room.

Raphael sat up and looked at the mutant that had raised him. The aging rat had his eyes closed and his chin rested on a steadily rising and falling chest. The book he had been reading rested on his lap, still opened to the chapter he had been reading. And that is what caught the eye of the young turtle.

At first glance, Raphael had thought that the book at been the story of Momotaro, the Peach Boy, the story Donatello had been reading when Raph first woke up. Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be one of Master Splinter's personal books, the ones he kept in his own room. Raph deftly removed it from under his master's hand and read the title.

'The Prophet? This doesn't sound like something Splinter would read,' Raphael thought as he opened the book to where the rat had left off.

"Then a woman said, speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall."

Raphael set the book on his bed and leaned back into the pillows to think about what he had read. He could feel the words speaking to him. They seemed to be drowning out the other voices back and for that, he was grateful.

"So, what did you think, my son?" Splinter asked opening his eyes.

Raphael turned to face his sensei. "I think you were faking sleep to get me to read that book."

"Curiosity is a trait that you share with you brothers," Splinter replied, his eyes glowing with humor. "Did you understand?"

The turtle looked to the ceiling. "I...I think so. But it still doesn't change the fact that I still hurt."

"No, it wouldn't. The pain you feel is from wounds on the heart that cannot heal unless you let them."

"But how do I do that? How can I change the way I feel!' Raph cried, the tears once again returning.

"By letting your brothers help you! By letting me help you! Let us back into your life." Splinter reached out to his son and was happily surprised to find a trembling turtle in his arms. "I am so sorry, Raphael."

That night, the five mutants slept somewhat peacefully, once again a strange and unique family.


VI Epilogue

Three years later, Raphael stood on the roof of a building staring out at the city. Even in the drenching rain, he could see the multitude of lights sparkling through the city. In a way, they reminded him of the stars that he couldn't see tonight.

"Hey, Raph, you coming? I'm freezing my shell off here!"

Raph glanced over his shoulder to call back to his brother, "You guys go ahead. I'll catch up."

Mikey gave him one of his 'you-are-absolutely-insane' looks before shrugging. "Okay. We'll meet you back at the lair."

Raphael nodded and waited for his brothers to leave. Once he was sure they were gone, he walked to the edge of the roof and looked down. It was a ten story drop. Even with all of his training, Raph knew he wouldn't survive the drop. It didn't matter, though.

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked."

The wind seemed to whisper the words that had kept him safe that night. He understood them better now. The injuries he had endured at the knives of darkness had cut deep. He knew that even with his family at his side, even with the new-found friendships he had with April and Casey, those wounds would never be filled.

He took off his left wrist band and stared at the scar. He remembered Mikey loudly proclaiming that the bands made Raph look cool and he thought that they should all wear them. Mikey had known that Splinter had given the soft leather straps to Raph to cover the scars on his wrist as the elbow pads covered the ones on his arms. He had also known that his brother would be self-conscious about them, so he made a set for himself and the remaining two brothers. The memory made the red masked turtle smile. He slipped the band back on.

Raphael lifted his face to the sky, letting the rain wash away some of the pain that still plagued the turtle. Things had gotten better. He was the team's "secret weapon" (as Michelangelo called him) now, not the monster he had once deemed himself to be. He still had his moments but now, at least, he knew he could turn to his family.

Speaking of his family

Raphael turned and started after his brothers. If he didn't hurry, Mikey would eat all the pizza!


Tiny note:

I didn't have loving siblings or caring parents in my dark times. I didn't even have a good friend to turn to. All I had was a tiny, ten month old ball of fluff who offered me her most prized possession, a pink toy mouse. She saved my life that day. And every day since. (Even if she does destroy my home every chance she gets.)

Now I have a favor to ask of each of you. Think of those people in your lives that really mean something to you and let them know that. It only takes a moment, and in that moment, you might help them more then you know. Thanks!