Chapter 24

I think she knew, the instant I made my decision.

I know she knew; if not specifically. She knew something had happened; something had changed.

She'd been sitting on the edge, again (despite my frequent protests, she assured me that the spells preventing falls would hold, and so, I'd had to corner Professor Flitwick and interrogate him, just to be sure), swinging her legs with not a care in the world.

The moment I'd decided, she stood up, abruptly, facing me.

She looked worried.

"What's wrong, Lucius?" Trying unsuccessfully to ignore the guilt gnawing at my insides, I smoothed my features into the trademark Malfoy smirk.

"Nothing, really."

She was silent for a moment, before she went back to the ledge. This time, she was not alone. I followed, sitting right behind her, my arms wrapped around her waist.

I liked this position; our bodies seemed to fit together perfectly, like two pieces in a jigsaw puzzle, as if we were made for each other. Then again, I thought smugly, we probably were. Probably.

I wouldn't have to rely on a few charms to stop her from falling; I was here, and I would never allow harm to befall her.

Lily sighed, as she settled back into my embrace.

"Tell me about yourself, Lucius. I always end up being the one to talk; it's your turn."

I, being much too busy burying myself in the scent of her hair, took quite a while to respond.

"What do you want to know?" My voice was huskier than I thought it would be, and I cleared my throat to shake off this odd sensation.

"Anything."

"Hmm. . . my full name is Lucius Lycorus Malfoy." She gave a small giggle. I arched an eyebrow.

"Think my name's funny, do you?"

"It rhymes, you know. Lucius Lycorus. . . maybe you should change your name. Malfus sounds a bit too funny though, doesn't it?" I gave her a mock glare, and she giggled some more.

"Well, my dear Giggly Gryffindor Girl, my mother is Medora Veǐane Malfoy, and my father is Byron Malfoy." She seemed a little surprised at his lack of middle name.

"What does. . . Lycorus mean? In your name?"

"Twilight. Darkness. We're Malfoys, Lily, what would you expect?"

"Oh, I never know what to expect with you." She said this meaningfully, and I felt a twinge of guilt; she sure as hell wouldn't have expected me joining the Death Eaters. Or maybe she did. She was a smart woman, after all. "Do you have any brothers? Sisters?"

"I had a twin sister. Iole. She died when she was four." If I thought hard enough, I could still remember her. My father never cared much for her (then again, he never cared much for me either, and I was his heir), probably because she didn't look like a Malfoy. Her hair had been dark brown, and her eyes. . . they'd been green. Like Lily's.

"You had a twin?"

"Well, I don't remember her much. I can't even remember how she looks like," I lied. I didn't want to dredge up any unwelcome memories. The present was bad enough without the past pestering me.

"Do you remember how she--" she paused. I knew what she meant. She wanted to know how Iole had 'died'. I didn't want to remember. But I did.

"Died? She was sick. They didn't even admit her to Saint Mungo's." Pale, green, empty eyes looked at me from long ago. I didn't want to remember this.

"Lucius, look at the apple trees," a childish voice murmured into my ear. I hadn't had the heart to tell her there hadn't been any apple trees. Just the grave yard. But she'd been buried there, soon enough. Outside the family tombs. Alone. In the cold. Such a little body--

"Why?" Lily's voice was a little more than a whisper.

"She was a Squib. She couldn't do magic. She was a 'disgrace' to the family name, they said. They didn't even put her in the family records. She would have been better off dead." I attempted to look nonchalant. "That's what they said."

Lily's emerald green eyes replaced those of my dead sister's. They were filled with concern. For me. An overwhelming desire rose up within me to know if she loved me. Did she? Or was she just fond of me?

I'd only loved and been loved by one person in my entire life, and that was Iole. We'd been children, yes, but a child's love is often the most pure, the most honest.

Why was I thinking about her now? I'd buried those emotions, those secrets, those memories, so far down inside my soul, it surprised me I still remembered. But I did.

I surprised myself by saying, out loud, the question that had been plaguing me.

"Lily, do you love me?" I gave the word love a sort of sardonic twist; I was Lucius Malfoy, and I didn't want anyone, even Lily, to think I was getting. . . soft. But I shouldn't have minded, around her. I believe I could have bawled like a baby in her arms, and she still wouldn't have looked at me any differently.

She didn't hesitate at all.

"Of course I do."

Was she lying? I found myself thinking this. Of course Lily would never lie to me; I would have gambled my life on that fact. And I didn't even like gambling. But then again, she was still looking at the moon, full and glowing, above us. Couldn't she look me in the eye? Her silent laughter drew me out of my thoughts.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I do, I mean--" she didn't give me a chance to finish.

"Shush Lucius, your prolonged silence only means one thing." She touched my leg lightly; she wanted to stand up. I moved away and got to my feet, joining her.

"Either you're thinking something you shouldn't be thinking, or. . . you're appalled by the idea of a mudblood loving you. But that falls in the first category, doesn't it?" She'd meant this as a joke, but. . . somehow, I couldn't bear the thought of her calling herself a mudblood. She wasn't. Well, theoretically, she was, but-- she wasn't.

"You're not a mudblood." I said, quietly.

"Well, I forgot about that; I hear it so often I've gotten rather immune to that dirty name."

"Who? Who calls you a mudblood?" My very Pure Blood was boiling, at that instant. Someone dared to call Lily a mudblood? How come she hadn't told me sooner? I could have beaten that bastard to a bloody pulp—

"Well no, no, not me directly, but it's a common phrase now, these days. . . you said yourself. Muggle resentment is rising to a fevered pitch now, especially with this Voldemort-fellow in the scene. You're not a muggle lover yourself, Lucius."

"All right, maybe I'm not a candidate for the Muggle Lover of the Year award, but I don't. . . I mean, you know I would never--" I spluttered uncharacteristically. It must have been the fact that I would be lying through my teeth if I told her I would never torture any muggles. Because I would; and, despite my great lying prowess, lying to Lily was never quite the same as lying to anybody else.

"You don't have to tell me, Lucius. I know." She knew I would be a Muggle-murderer? Or she knew I would never kill any? Hoping profusely that it was the latter, I quickly changed the subject.

"So do you love me?"

"Yes, I do. Why do you find it so hard to believe?"

"I didn't say that--"

"You practically did--"

"No I didn't, I was just making sure--"

"Yeah right, I can tell now, you're bluffing, I've become immune to your lies--" she joked, but this was so close to the horrible truth, I could do nothing but silence her with another 'truth' of my own.

"Yes-but-then-it-doesn't-matter-because-I-love-you-anyway," I said, all in one breath before I gave her a kiss.

My heart was still beating at an uncomfortably fast pace. Had I just told her--? Yes, I had. And, strangely, I felt no regret.

It was the truth.

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Author's Notes:

Hey! :D I've finally updated. I'm sorry I won't be able to give long replies to all of you, since I'm too sleepy, I still have to take a shower, (and I'm itching to reread OotP. . . hehehe). And I hope you all understood that bit about the Apple Trees and Iole; she was sort of. . . 'Delusional', from being so sick. So thanks to:

Chelli—yay!! Thanks for the long review, I love long reviews!

Erenriel—hope Lucius enjoys the closet!

Kristen—glad you like the story :D

TheSilverLady—thanks! :D

Sarah—yes, it always is horrible to admit how much we love his devilish villain-ness :D

Nan/Dwen— as much as I would like to, I can't make it AU L I'm trying to stick, as much as possible, to the original storyline J Glad you're back! :D

Hope you guys like this chapter, sorry it was so long in the making :D Review!!! Please!!! I would have taken longer, if the reviews hadn't come :D Reviews make me, and Lucius, smile big, insane smiles. *whisper* but don't tell him I told you. :D