Fairytale in Red

This story is adapted from the fairy story "The Yellow Dwarf"

Long long ago in a country of great extremes both of weather and national characteristics, there lived a queen and her darkhaired daughter. Meg was the most beautiful princess in the far north, her beauty was so well known that 20 suitors at a time would ride their quarter horses to her outpost to try to persuade her to date them. She could never make her mind up so she would decline them all. Her mother, being advanced in years was despairing of ever seeing grandchildren so she resolved to take a trip to Alaska to the lair of the Arctic Fairy to ask advice concerning this stubborn daughter who by this time had broken her mother's heart by joining the Mounted Police Force (for Meg was not only lovely but honest and compassionate too).

It was little consolation to the queen that her daughter was doing remarkably well in her chosen career and was rapidly rising through the ranks. She packed a bag of a few essentials and began the long trek by dogsled to the foriegn land that was Alaska and the fortified castle of the Arctic Fairy.

As in all these tales the journey was wrought with hardship and difficulty. The castle was just in sight when the exhausted queen was stopped in her path by the two fur clad goons who were the Fairy's Guards. Unable to get past them she fell asleep in a cave and was visited by a little speckled man eating donuts. The Little Speckled Man ( so called because of the spots that flourished abundantly on his body) said to her in a gleeful French accent, "Queen of the North, I know why you have come here. Promise me your daughter's hand in marriage and I will save you from the goons."

The queen was forced to consent and in an instant found herself back home in her warm bedroom; all that had passed seemed like a dream yet she grew so melancholy that even the great elixir, Prozac, did not help. Meanwhile beautiful Meg had been promoted once more and had settled in Chicago, an inhospitable town in the south where much evil abounded and magic was fast fading. One day, after a particularly distressing phone call from the Queen, she took it upon herself to visit the Arctic Fairy for help in finding a cure for the great melancholy that afflicted her beloved mother. As her mother had done before her, she packed a bag and set off by horse to the Fairy's Alaskan Lair. Also as her Mother had done, she fell exhausted near Speckled Man's hideaway, and as she fell asleep she could hear the taunts and lewd remarks of the two goons.

The small Speckled Man appeared to her with this message, "Princess, you need not fight the goons for the Fairy's help. I have your answers. Your Mother is depressed because she promised me your hand in marriage. I will save you from the lascivious goons if you honour that promise." Meg, being an astute woman, and having learned a thing or two in Chicago about deception, crossed her fingers and agreed to the deal.

When she awoke she found herself slumped over her desk in the Windy City. She lifted her head from her arms to see the most handsome apparition in red serge: "Excuse me Ma-am, Constable Benton Fraser reporting for duty." At her startled gaze he continued, "I've been on sick leave..." Still reeling from her unpleasant Alaskan experience, she saw entwined on her finger a nasty piece of wiry black hair and she cut him off with a curt, "Dismissed, Constable" and as he closed the door quietly behind him she lay her head on her arms and sobbed as if her heart would break.

Meg continued to be surly and melancholy, she was even worse when Constable Fraser was around as she found it harder and harder to resist the effect his looks and manners had on her. There was no doubt about it, had she not promised herself to the little French goblin, she would wholeheartedly be able to pursue the most perfect man she had ever met. Her frustration manifested itself in the most unpleasant ways, particularly whenever she was in contact with the object of her desire. She set him the most menial tasks in the hope that would force him to request a transfer but he accepted all her ill treatment with grace and devotion. She found herself fighting all her instincts which begged her to treasure and care for this adorable man. But knowing her pact with the evil goblin and feeling the hair on her finger tighten whenever she tried to confess her true feelings, she had to keep her distance. It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, each day in his presence brought her heart closer to breaking.

One evening she had cause to visit him at his lodgings in a most dangerous part of town, all on the pretext of having him sign some paperwork, but in reality so she could catch an insight into his private character. What she saw horrified and shamed her; whereas she lived in luxurious surroundings, with every creature comfort, wanting for nothing, he ocupied nothing short of a hovel with a faithful Mutt his only companion and solace. She felt deeply ashamed to see her heart's desire living like a pauper and even so lowly as to be ironing his own boxer shorts. She had to bite her lip hard to stop herself offering him the services of her manservant. He had been welcoming and polite, even a little nervous in her presence a trait she found utterly endearing. She could hardly take her eyes off his bare forearms and muscular shoulders and fantasised about what lay beneath his remaining mountie uniform. The eggs he served her tasted of pure nectar.

From that evening she could not get him out of her mind, the smell of him, the sight of him haunted her dreams. Dreams which were only partially fulfilled some weeks later when the desire had reached an unbearable intensity. It all started when he had sung the most divine lullaby in a voice so sweet and melodic the birds cried in envy. They were in a huge horse drawn coach full of mounties who were drugged by two wicked wizards bent on world domination. There had been some hair raising moments culminating in a kiss on the roof of the coach as it thundered fast through the prairie. That kiss had sealed her fate.