Chapter 33

"When are they coming over?" I asked irritably, pacing back and forth on the inhumanly clean white carpet of the Evans' living room.

"I told you, right before lunch." Lily, unaffected by the nerves that were trying to wring me out to dry, sat primly in her heavy gray skirt and white jumper. Her answer did nothing to soothe me. I picked up a photo (of Petunia and Lily, hand in hand, smiling), and put it back down, before I picked it up again. I put it back down and turned to her.

"Muggles are so. . . odd. Don't they specify at all?"

"'Before lunch' isn't specific?" Her voice had a hint of amusement to its soberness, and what looked suspiciously like a smile was trying to form on her face. I glared at her. Damn her happy little soul, I thought.

"No, it's not; some people have lunch at eleven, some have it at twelve, some even have it at one. A space of three hours is not specific, honestly I don't know wh--" I was interrupted by the doorbell, and loud knocking.

"Oi, Lily, we're freezing our arses out over here! Coming?"

The smile that had been threatening to break loose finally emerged, flashed patronizingly in my direction.

"See, they're here." I got up reluctantly, trudging slowly behind her brisk steps.

Halfway down the hall, I realized something.

HAD I ALREADY GONE DAFT WITH MUGGLE LIVING?

I was Lucius Malfoy. I wasn't supposed to be afraid of muggles, they were supposed to be afraid of me. The same thing went for nervousness. I would be my charming self.

My self-assurances, petty though they were, were enough for me, because five steps from the door, I'd gotten back to normal.

"This is Lucius?" Lily was saying. All thoughts of charm flew out of my head; that wasn't Lily, but it was. . . she looked almost exactly like Lily, save for her blue eyes.

"Yes, he is," the real Lily with green eyes said, smiling that smile she must have reserved as a prefect for skittish first-years.

"I am." What else was I supposed to say? I reached forward and shook her (the unknown Lily-look-alike) hand, amazed (only on the inside, of course) at the difference, and, at the same time, the similarity: the girls' hands were soft, like Lily's, but her fingernails were painted a bright, shocking pink. Lily never wore nail polish.

"I'm Madeleine, but call me Nad."

"Nad," I said in acknowledgement, smiling politely. Introductions were thrown back and forth at lightning speed.

"Lucius, this is Jillian, Jillian, Lucius," I took this as my cue to shake hands with the said Jillian, and I had hardly finished when another hand was offered to be shook.

"I'm Johnson, nice to meet you, mate." A male voice said, as I shook his hand.

"Evelyn, but I prefer Evee," a melodic someone said, from somewhere in the back.

"I thought you were freezing your arses off, shouldn't we go now?" Lily's voice interrupted through the frenzy.

The large group trod off, chattering, to something called a 'car', which was to be 'driven' by Johnson. 

The four girls, giggling and chirping like a myriad of newly hatched chicks, slid (no, squeezed) into the back seat.

"Sit up front, let's let the girls have their talk, yeah?" Johnson said. I nodded, hardly understanding anything but the words 'girls' and 'talk' through his heavy, Scottish burr.

"So what school do you guys go to?"

"Hogwarts." I answered promptly, watching the scenery pass by. I felt so oddly out of place. Muggles. I shuddered and turned my attention to wheel Johnson was using to steer the vehicle.

"Er—what?" Oh, right, he knew nothing about wizards, now did he?

"Uh, erm, that's a phrase of mine, I go, 'Hogwarts' instead of, erm, 'Blimey' or something." Unfortunately, I seemed to have let some of Lily's horrible lying skills rub off on me. I tried again. "I go to Francis Academy for Boys," I said, mustering up as much pride as was humanly possible in that situation.

"Eh? Doesn't Lily go to St. Whatever? I thought you went to the same school?"

Luckily, by this time, my lying skills had revved up to their full potential.

"My mistake," the phrase was unfamiliar on my tongue (as were many other self-condeming phrases), but I ignored this and pressed on, "You see, I'm a senior, so to me, the school was St. Francis' Academy for Boys for around two years, until they started accepting girls, and then it just became St. Francis' Academy. Still haven't gotten used to the new name."

He nodded, his eyes on the road, and I sunk back into the chair.

Ten whole minutes of unbearable silence.

And you all know how I am with unbearable silences..

I had to do something.

Anything.

"Where are we going?" This was the start of my frail attempt at conversation.

 Johnson's reply was hardly understandable, his mumbles even worse than Crabbe's. And that was definitely saying something. The only phrase I understood was "we're almost there anyway."

"So, where did you meet Jillian?" Lily had mentioned something about Jillian yesterday, and Johnson. Hadn't she?

"Weel, me brother knew her from school, and I'd met her once or twice before, I talked to her, and things just started from there," he explained, his Scots accent broadening even further, if that was possible.

"Ah," I said, not knowing what else to say.

"So you play Rugby?" Rugby? Wasn't that some sort of muggle rubber cement? The one they used to glue shoe soles together? Poor things knew nothing of reparo spells, did they?

"Er, Rugby?" I stalled. My mind instantly dissected his first few phrases, for clues. He'd asked me if I'd played Rugby; it must have been a game of some sort. He would have brought up that subject only if he'd enjoyed 'playing' the sport itself, and, from the reddish skin on his face, it was obvious this was 'played' outdoors. "I'm not really the outdoor sports type."

"What do you do then?" Apparently, to this pathetically unsophisticated muggle, there were only two things in life: Rugy, and Non-rugby.

"I—I'm a—" Thank evilness Lily butted in at that exact moment.

Women, and perfect timing.


"He's a musician."

Of course, I choked. And choking, without talking, and without any water or choke-able liquids to choke on, was, to me, quite a feat.

"Yeah? So is me brother, Sean. What instrument do ye play?" Again, Lily answered for me (good thing she did; I understood nothing he said).

"The drums, and a bit of the piano too, right Lucius?" I nodded numbly.

Where on earth had she learned to lie like that?

The answer came almost immediately.

Me-- who else?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Author's Notes:

Hey! I'm back :D It's a miracle I finally finished this chapter; with my horrible bouts of writer's block, and Lucius shouting at me every other second (he got angry when I staggered into my room, very inebriated; he thinks [rightly enough] that drinking kills my brain cells, and I might ruin his story if I turn brain dead in the middle of it; such concern for me, no?). And that 'thank evilness' thing is like 'thank goodness' in Lucius terms. Hmm. . . I don't have much to say, since I'm still recovering from the unfortunate Sims Addiction I've obtained recently.

*turns to the sulking Lucius behind her* "I know, I know, it was my fault entirely. I won't do it again."

*Lucius glares* "You'd better not. You know how long it took me to type that chapter?"

*Author looks sheepish*

*Lucius is unrelenting* "Five hours. Five, bloody hours, wasted inside a muggle house, touching (Touching!) muggle objects."

"I swear, I won't do it again."

*Lucius sniffs in an evilly-forgiving way* Of course you won't.

Thank You's

Dwen—Thanks :D No Petunia this chapter, but there's more to come, I promise J And a bit of Vernon too, bwehehehe. I love teasers. It's Lucius, he's really rubbing off on me. And that's a good thing J

Diabla666—Hehehe, I loved that line too J I asked Lucius why he put 'close to perfection', when he's supposed to believe he's beyond perfect, but he gave me an enigmatic smile, and said 'Lily is perfection'. Aww, isn't that sweet?

Chelli—thank you thank you! J I hope this chapter's ending is good enough, it hangs a bit, I'm sad to say, but the next chapter is titled 'The Pub', and, if I merged both chapters together, it would have taken an infinitely long time to finish L While I was reading your review, Lucius *points to the criminally handsome wizard behind her, who is currently flipping through her Calvin and Hobbes Comic Book Collection* gave me a very smug smile when he read the part about him 'bringing himself across so well in words'. *sigh* Smugness, arrogance, and aristocratic pureblood features *sighs again* What more could you ask for?

Addy—Yes, he's finally allowed me to speak, as long as I don't block him out of the Author's Notes entirely J He says he wants people to remember it's him writing, and not me. And it was horrible teaching him now to use the computer; My poor computer crashed ten times while he tried to use magic to press the start button on the desktop. I tried to explain the use of the mouse to him, but he seems to believe quite fervently that the 'mouse' is a real mouse, albeit in muggle form. *shakes head* And so he refuses to touch it. He doesn't seem to mind the keyboard very much, though. *shrugs* Wizards.

Redchickadie—thank you for reviewing, and I'm glad you like the story J Lucius says thanks too.

Sarah—Lucius is deeply sorry, to the very roots of his perfect person, at having forgotten you. And you know how he hates saying sorry. And I did review! Twice! Then again, that was a while ago. . . I'll check it out and review soon, promise! J In response to your evil look, Lucius says 'hmm, she's learning quite well'. J That from the King of Evil Looks himself!

AJRoald—Yay, new reader! J Thank you J

Anastacia-Gwydion—You have a very cool name J Amen to that: Hail Lucius Malfoy; Utterly Gorgeous Man. *sigh* Have you written your fic yet? I'm eager to read any Lucius Fic *sighs, and flutters eyelashes at Lucius, who is completely oblivious to her attentions* Thanks for reviewing! J