Chapter 40

"And where have you been?" My father's voice said in a surprisingly low tone. He'd noticed me, for once.

"I was—showing Black around the Malfoy grounds." Ground was more like it—maybe I would ask Black how he liked the pebbles on the floor, just to annoy him. They were supposed to be perfectly symmetrical. At least that was what the horticulturist had said, before Father had cursed him to death.

What happy childhood memories.

Ha.

Taste the sarcasm.

"Well, you left your partner alone here. I suggest you go back to her, before she starts getting impatient. You've been gone for nearly half an hour."

Of course I'd been gone for nearly half an hour. I'd decided to torture that new elf, Dobber, or whatever he was called, just to get rid of the Post-Lily-Gloom residue. Notice my condition now had a name.

"Narcissa, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I was just—well, you know what I was doing, of course." She giggled, the look of mild annoyance completely gone from her face.

"Duelling? Now, now, Lucius, maybe you should learn to control your temper a bit. He is my cousin, after all."

I pretended to look vaguely hurt.

"What's wrong with my temper? And besides, you said yourself, he is the shame of your family, isn't he? Consorting with Gryffindors."

"I suppose you could call him the Black Sheep?" She twittered slightly in high pitched laughter.

I couldn't find it in myself to join in. Who on earth said jokes like that?

"Indeed. Now--"I thought of something quick to say, "you must introduce me to your sisters. Bellatrix and--" I paused, racking my mind for the other name. Luckily, she filled it in for me.

"Andromeda?"

"Yes, right, that's the one. And you must promise you won't get jealous when I dance with them."

She appeared to shrug nonchalantly.

"Jealous? Me? I'll tell you who jealous will be—Rodolphus. Lestrange? You've met him, of course—I think you're in the same year. Well, he's been with Bellatrix for over a month now, you know. Very possessive person."

I arched an eyebrow. Not jealous? Really.

"You'll find I'm a very possessive person myself, Narcissa." 

"Are you?"

"Of course. You can't be a Malfoy without being possessive." I finished the Fire Whisky in my hand.

Whereas alcohol made the blood rush to most people's heads, it had the opposite effect on me. I seemed to turn even paler. Malfoy genes, and all.

"Posessive? How so?" She was looking at me, trying to feign boredom, but failing completely.

"Well, if I were to see my wife consorting with someone fool enough to cross my path. . . something very bad would happen, wouldn't it? I don't like sharing my things with other people. I never did, Narcissa." Lily and Mr. Whatever-His-Name-Was, talking and laughing with each other in front of the fire place. . .

My grip on the glass was almost tight enough to break it. I put it down. 

She was quiet for a moment.

"You're thinking of a wife, are you?"

"No, not really—but we were speaking of possessiveness, and in my point of view, that's the crème de la crème of the trait." I was lying through my teeth, of course—I was thinking of a wife, but certainly not her. Lily. Of course, Lily was only fifteen, and she had to be at least a Hogwarts graduate before marriage could even be suggested. Ministry rules, and such. Weren't they tiresome.

"Some women like their men to be possessive. Frankly, I wouldn't mind a possessive man myself."

"Then we shall have to get you one, won't we? If you'll excuse me, Narcissa, I have certain—matters to attend to." I smiled somewhat enigmatically, bowed, and left the ballroom.

I didn't care whether father noticed me or not—I had to know what Lily was doing.

Remember that 'second enchantment' I haven't yet told you about? Yes, this was it.

It wasn't exactly spying on Lily, per se. It was. . . checking up on her. I'd placed a spell on the book, which would track her down where ever she was. As long as she was within a twenty-five meter radius of the diary, I would be able to see her.

As with most spells, there were certain flaws. I would only be able to see her, and nobody else. But that was all I needed, wasn't it? To see her?

And she would never know.

I stomped almost childishly (almost; again, I stress this) into my room, adjusting the collar of my shirt irritably.

My conscience, which seemed to have more influence over my thoughts since I'd met Lily, was nagging me again.

I wasn't supposed to spy on her, this was completely wrong.

It was against my principles to spy on her.

But then, wasn't it supposed to be against her principles to. . . to be with other men while I wasn't around? 

I knew perfectly well that Lily's adulterousness was, quite possibly, a figment of my imagination.

But the nagging question.

What if?

If. A word with a billion possibilities.

I hated it.

Walking purposefully towards my trunk, I knelt down and opened its secret compartment. It was hard to find, if you didn't know where to look for it: first, you had to find the part where the veins of wood didn't exactly meet. The ridges around the compartment itself were undetectable—such was the expertise of the maker.

Unfortunately, he'd been a muggle.

And, even more unfortunately, he'd been disposed of.

Good help was so hard to find these days.

Anyway—

The Comparment.

I placed my hand in it, feeling around, and almost instantly, I found what I'd been looking for.

A cool, flat disc, that glowed a bright blue the instant my hand hovered over it.

It only worked for me—the part of the diary I hadn't told Lily about. So what? I'd been keeping even bigger secrets from her—this didn't matter.

And besides, this was for her protection. Sort of.

"Musca Mortis."

Light spread rapidly from the disc, which hovered inches above my hand. Sparkles flew from left and right, or different hues and shapes, working to form the body of the woman I knew so well. Lily.

I pretended to look bored—even in private, I couldn't find it in myself to gawk at magic like an uneducated muggle. Of course, as this was the first time I'd ever used the Murtazzo (the disc), I was more than a little surprised.

And even more so, when the object of so much worry stood before me, looking sad and utterly un-Lily-like.

"Mum, I'm really not in the mood. And Petunia doesn't want me there—you know that. Besides, nobody I know is going—they're all busy. Nad's gone off somewhere, Jillian's probably with her, Evee's sick, and Johnson—well, you know him. I can only find him through Jillian and—oh, it's useless. I think I'll sleep early tonight."

She paused a bit—Mrs. Evans must have been speaking to her—and then she nodded, smiling lightly, and did something, which I assumed was good night hug to her mother.

"I love you." She smiled, and turned around, walking in reality, but not really moving from where she was here in my room. Floating. 

I was entranced, now, and I didn't even bother to hide it. Even though I knew she was speaking to her mother, I felt like she was speaking to me. I love you

And she was alone! On Christmas Eve!

She hadn't been enjoying herself in my absence after all. Ah, well, ill-placed suspicion was nothing new to me.  

Lily sat down, leaned back, and curled herself into fetal position. She was whispering something, and tears were brimming in her eyes.

Did she really miss me that much?

"Lucius," she was whispering. "Don't do it. Please. Don't."

The smirk that had just begun to form on my face was off my face in less than a second.

She knew.   

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A/N:

Haha!! *smug look* I updated sooner than anybody expected!! Aren't you proud of me? I know I am. :D And so is Lucius :D I think…  Well… hmm… I don't have very much to say for this chapter. . .

Oh, yes, before I forget—Musca Mortis—the spell Lucius used to 'spy' on Lily, actually means something. Musca means 'to fly' and Mortis comes from the word 'Mortise'; just look it up in the dictionary. :D Something about a piece of something, and joining. . . so you pretty much get the meaning of the spell.

And, yes, IT is happening very soon.

You do know what I mean by IT, don't you? Yes, yes, yes. And the even bigger IT, is going to happen soon—their 'breaking up'.

I don't want to do it—trust me—but I'll have to. I want this thing strictly canon (is that the word for it?). I'll even be changing Arabella Figg as Lily's best friend to Alice Nichols (soon to be Alice Longbottom—you all know her, of course) as soon as I have the time :D

THANK YOU:

 Anastacia—your question about Lily's premonitions has been answered! :D She still has them (I doubt Severus keeps giving her more Dreamless Sleep Potion), but since some of them weren't as scary as the first few she had, she didn't tell Lucius about it. She had a few about Lucius and the murder he was going to commit, if you remember, and she told him about it, but he shrugged her off. As the murder date draws nearer, her dreams get more urgent (which was why she was sleeping in a few chappies ago, and why she's feeling sad now, because she thinks she can't stop him). *sigh* my friend was telling me to split the story two ways, one where she breaks up with him, marries James, and has Harry, and another one where she turns (in your words), into 'bad, ass-kicking Lily' and runs off with him :D Thanks for reviewing!!!

Dilligas762—thank Lucius for the great story—he's the one doing everything!! :D And thanks for reviewing! :D You'll see very soon how he manages to lose her. . . it's sad, and it was terrible for me to write—but I won't let out any more secrets :D

Kingsdork—Well, Sirius was invited because of typical Pureblood. . . Purebloodedness :D Ran out of words there :D See, his family wanted to act like nothing was wrong, and so they dragged him to the party, for the sole purpose of showing everyone that the Black Heir was still intact. Hmm, didn't consider the Dursley thing—I think they didn't know the difference between Lucius and James, actually—and if they did, well, they never had a high opinion of Lily in the first place, and they never liked talking about her to Harry, after all :D

Tristan2—thanks for reviewing!! Love Jason Isaacs too :D He's a perfect Lucius *drool* And I'm glad you didn't find Lucius OOC :D

Erenriel—don't worry about insanity, we all suffer from it! :D But then, it's not really suffering, is it? Bwahahaha. Thanks for reviewing :D

Addy—Lucius dearest always hardens up when he's away from Lily—he's like a block of ice to the sun! He warms up fine with her around, but with her away, and with his family around him, he freezes up again. *sigh* And I'm glad you caught that phrase! :D you're right, it does tell a lot about why he's the way he is. He doesn't really admit it (and I don't think he ever will), but I think he wants, very much, to please his dear ol' dad. He must have, when he was young, and even though he never thinks about it now, he just does it automatically. Why else (asides from Lily) would he want to join the Death Eaters? I don't know, I'll have to bug Lucius about it later, if he doesn't hex me first :D Merci for reviewing! :D

Briana Marie—Yes, Narcissa is a bit on the annoying side. Or a lot. *snicker* She's the world's biggest flirt. I had to imagine really annoying people to make her :D But, the strangest thing—I asked Lucius the other day, about Narcissa and all, and he told me he was 'rather fond' of her, but he doesn't really like her as much as he does Lily—I mean, duh, he loves Lily. :D I guess he's fond of her the way one is fond of a birthmark one is stuck with, but one doesn't really want :D (too many one's in the sentence—scary English teacher would be ashamed of me :D) Thanks for reviewing! Oh, and update soon!!! :D

REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!! It'll make me update sooner!!! :D