Disclaimer: Don't own them. Very clear. First, people don't own people. And secondly, they're not people, their cartoons. Heh.

Author's Note: I have no clue where the idea of this story came from, but it was a weird one. I'm a weird writer. If anybody wants anything different, then check out my stories. This story is for pure enjoyment. No annotations necessary. While your at it, could you do me the biggest favor and maybe obligation to review this story. Do it or else…. Just kidding. Have fun!

Mission Nightcrawler

Bamf.

Bamf, bamf, bamf.

…………………….

Hot water ran down her slender body as she sulked in the warm feeling of the beat of the shower. "Hmmm…" sang Kitty's voice from deep within her throat. "I'm singing in the rain!" Quite unpleasant, but fulfilling to her own ears, she sang.

Bamf.

A loud scream was heard from behind a shower curtain. Kitty peeked her head through and found Kurt standing there holding his breath. "Kurt!" she exclaimed with a loud screech. He then let out a scream at the sight of Kitty's head behind the shower curtain and gave another hiccup, one too soon for him to realize what was happening. And with a second bamf he disappeared from view and into another room.

…………………….

Jean's red hair blew in the autumn breeze on the bench outside the mansion. She and Scott were enjoying a nice afternoon together, chatting away about countless things. The truth was that they had been chatting for too long. Both of them wanted to do more than that. So Scott leaned in to touch Jean's pink lips that had not looked so pink through his ruby quartz sunglasses when a loud sound was heard.

Bamf.

Blue smoke.

Hiccup, hiccup, hiccup.

This was ongoing for about a minute as Jean and Scott could only stare. They were disturbed when they could never get any peace around the mansion. For a second Jean felt like swinging Kurt with her telekinesis and throwing him to the mansion's roof.

But a few more hiccups were presented before the loudest and most unexpected one sounded and a bamf was heard.

"Now, where were we," Scott said as he pulled Jean to him to embrace her in a kiss.

But, to their surprise, a series of bamf's were heard from behind them. Then in front of them, then behind again.

Bamf, Kurt.

Bamf, gone.

Bamf, Kurt again.

And then finally, exiting with a bamf, he was gone.

………………………………

With a back flip from Rogue, to a bolt of lightening from Storm, and finally a slashing sound from the metal claws on Logan's rough hands. "That's it Rogue. Agility," came the good Professor's sound from the control room above the danger room. Training was what Logan and Storm agreed to help with for Rogue's own good. Even if touching her was deadly enough, an attack could always be brought from afar. Or maybe unexpectedly, behind her back.

Bamf.

But only the slightest sound of the bamf was heard over all the noise the heavy machinery was making around them. The machines came in different kinds of shapes. Arrows, metal bombs, metal walls, metal hook ropes and anything else that was life threatening. Logan just loved it. Pure and heart filled love.

. But only the slightest sound of the was heard over all the noise the heavy machinery was making around them. The machines came in different kinds of shapes. Arrows, metal bombs, metal walls, metal hook ropes and anything else that was life threatening. Logan just loved it. Pure and heart filled love.

Rogue kept her eye out for any flying objects to defend her teammates, which was the most important thing. Rogue was slightly shoved forward by an invisible force, for she had turned around and found no one.Bamf, bamf, bamf.

Bamf. Another shove almost made Rogue slam into the metal hook rope that opened and closed it's mouth continuously. But Rogue was quick enough to drop down and roll away, although she got a large scratch on her arm.

Bamf. Storm was hit right on the surface of her white head of hair, and landed with a thud on her knees and the palms of her hands. She looked up with frustration to see the metal shooter hanging out of the wall had dropped down an inch, as if someone had stepped on it with full force.

"Professor, what is going on?" Storm said through her sophisticated, and now irritated African accent.

"Yeah, the system has gone berserk," Rogue spoke through her thick southern voice that was pessimistic, as usual.

Bamf. A little shove in Logan's rear end pushed him forward, though Logan was trying to resist. "Alright, I've had it! What the hell is going on!" Logan shouted with gruffness in his voice. Rogue and Storm knew that was the straw that broke the camel's back. No one kicked Logan in his rear and got away with it.

All three looked up at Professor Xavier to see blue fur drop from the top of the control room and land on the control panel. This caused Professor Xavier to groan at his swelled finger, where Kurt's blue tail had squashed.

"Everybody get down!" Logan roared as they all dropped to the ground when a red siren echoed through the room and began to sprout laser beams from the circular roof and squared blue walls. After a few minutes of crouching on the floor and protecting their heads from pieces of flying metal, metal claws sprouted from the metal floor and attacked every corner. Storm managed to lift all three of them off the ground and float in the air for a moment or two.

With every obstacle they overcome another one appeared. Next were swinging razors out of a growing metal shrine in the center of the now open ground. Kurt looked outside with fear in his eyes. "Oops…" he said as he watched Professor Xavier trying to fix the control.

"Kurt, what in God's name has gotten into you?" Professor Xavier said in a not so calm manner. One unlike his usual laid-back attitude. Kurt jumped back with a little surprise on this and held up his hands for an apology.

"Sorry, Professor," Kurt said through a thick German accent. He could feel the fur on his body stand up in fear and guilt. "It vas a genuine accident. You see…" Hiccup, hiccup, bamf.

After a period of ten long minutes smoke had filled the training room. Professor Xavier looked around at the training room to see it empty, but calm nonetheless. "Logan, Storm, Rogue, can you hear me? I repeat, can you hear me?" Professor Xavier said in a worried voice. Then he sensed irritated and tired auras.

He spun his wheelchair around to find faces covered it smoke and ash. All of their hair seemed to be standing up as if in electric shock. Their fists were clenched, their shoulders hunched forward and their eyebrows knitted furiously together.

"Kurt," Professor Xavier began before he was interrupted by three impatient voices.

"We know!"

………………………………..

Jean and Scott's kiss was broken. Broken before it had barely begun.

Bamf, Hiccup.

"Kurt! What are you doing!" Jean shrieked, more than she questioned. "Can you honestly not control your powers when you sneeze or hiccup? Did you not drink any water? Did you not try holding your breath? Because if you haven't tried that, do so now! And if you have, try it again. And again and again and AGAIN!"

Jean ignored Scott's raised eyebrows and his shift away from her slightly.

"Sorry, Jean, for interrupting your kissing session but zis is more important," Kurt said with his hands on his hips and another hiccup. "How do you zink I feel?"

"Why I oughta…" Jean exclaimed as she lunged forward to grab Kurt's throat. He was being so insensitive.

"Jean, retaliating is not the answer!" Scott said as he held her back. But he did not know how long he could hold the fiery red head back. Not for long. After another hiccup and an air filled with blue smoke, Scott spoke with a more calm fashion. "You're going about this all wrong."

"Yeah?" Jean said with frustration. She was not agreeing with him until he saw something that looked like a bright light bulb flash above her head. She then grabbed Scott by his wrist and dragged him inside, where she called everybody to the kitchen through her telepathy. "Welcome everyone. You were all called here for a very important meeting."

"If it's about thah brotherhood, ah'm up for it," Rogue said with ambition.

"No, something more daring," Jean replied with eagerness in her voice.

"The end of the world? Because if it is I'm going on a shopping spree," Kitty managed to say with the happiest tone.

"No," Jean retorted vaguely with disbelief of Kitty's behavior. If it was the end of the world, what would be the point in shopping anyways?

"Magneto's crew?" Logan asked with a rough edge to his voice. Jean shook her head with a small sigh at all of their ambition for missions. "Well, if it's anything that includes blood and fighting, count me in."

"Logan," Storm said with a warning voice as Logan's voice descended to a whisper. It was only Storm who could do that.

"This is serious, X-men," Scott said as if he knew exactly what Jean was up to. "I expect you all to give Jean your full attention."

"Whatever you say, Professor S," Kitty said with a giggle as Scott gave her a serious look to show that this was really a serious matter.

"We have to be keen and agile. We have to know how to corner our prey, we have this mission to accomplish today. If we fail, all else is lost," Jean spoke as she held out her fist in the air to raise sportsmanship in the heart's of the group. "This is more important than what you all might think. This mission is a mission to accomplish in order to keep our sanity. A mission only the X-men can do to another X-man."

"Just say it, Jeanie," Logan said with an impatient voice.

"He's tried water and air," Jean said with her green eyes pierced half way, "but what we really need is a scare."

"Kurt," almost all of them said at the same time.

"What exactly is lost if we don't accomplish this mission, Jean?" Storm asked with curiosity as if she was about to back down.

"Our Saturday," Scott said for Jean. He stood up from his chair on the kitchen counter and held his hand in the middle for the rest to follow. "Are we all in or what?" Jean's hand was put in first, followed by Logan's, then Rogue, Kitty and finally, Storm.

"Then let us get this show on the road, shall we?" Professor Xavier's voice was spoken with such delight that everyone turned in surprise to stare at the man in the doorway. "We will plan mission Nightcrawler."

If the professor was annoyed of Kurt, then this mission was a mission worth fighting for.

………………………………..

Professor Xavier had searched the mansion. He had found Kurt in the kitchen. He was holding a glass of water and gulping it down rather quickly. Jean watched him from the roof of the kitchen.

Now, Kitty, Jean thought to Kitty, who had been hiding behind the counter. Jean had not even bothered to talk through her ear piece. Kitty phased herself through the kitchen counter. She grabbed a handful of forks and spoons through her black gloves, that matched her black ensemble, head to toe. She ran her hand through the bottom of the counter and placed the spoons and forks above her head through solid. She began to shake them. Jean flew from behind Kurt to cause wind against his back. He turned around with paranoia.

"Is somevone zere?" Kurt questioned. Then the spoons and forks began to clatter together causing Kurt to drink his water fully and place it on the counter. He looked over to the window, which was open and realized it was just the wind, although the trees were not moving. He closed the window and gave another hiccup to teleport out of the kitchen before Jean could scare him with the flickering of light from the light switch.

Jean looked to Kitty who peeked her head through the cabinet. They both shook their heads with disapproval. "Plan B."

………………………………...

With the help of Storm who wanted to take a simple part in this so called "trick", lightening flickered outside and thunder roared with fury. Rain pounded against the mansion so hard, tattering was heard from the inside. That was Storm's part. Jean and Kitty had done their part, now they were on the lookout.

Professor Xavier's mind had helped them contact where Kurt was and he was prepared for plan C, if plan B were to fail. "His hiccups are becoming quite rapid," Professor Xavier had whispered into his ear piece to the others. They all agreed, especially Rogue, Scott, and Logan, who had been running through the mansion to wherever the professor told them Kurt had gone. But they missed him every time.

They were gasping for air when they had finally spotted him in the foyer. Logan, Rogue and Scott placed their black masks on as Logan pinned Kurt to the wall, Rogue ungloved her hand and Scott unmasked his face to reveal his visor being carefully removed.

Kurt let out a scream. "Vhat are you doing?" he screamed as if they would give him mercy.

"No mercy," Rogue said with a sinister laugh.

"We showed no mercy to your X-men friends why should we show any to you?" Scott said as his eyes began to glow with a red light.

"Vhat?" Kurt shouted with fear. But his hiccups had come back. He suddenly bamfed away once again and Logan unmasked his face.

"The little elf is harder to catch than I thought."

………………………………...

Plan C was finally put into progress. Everyone laid in Professor Xavier's office where Professor Xavier sensed Kurt was going to teleport next. That's where he had his eye on at least. Kurt felt the need for some quiet place where he could find out what Professor Xavier was hiding from him in his office. Professor Xavier had told the rest of Kurt's suspicions after his attack by Rogue, Scott, and Logan, and they all broke out into laughter. But Professor Xavier felt quite offended at Kurt's suspicions that he was keeping something from him.

Not to there surprise, the sound of a bamf entered the room along with the smoke. They had all gotten into their places ready to be in character.

Lightening crashed upon the window, with the help of Storm. Professor Xavier's head was slashed to the side, furious bruises (that was really paint) on his face. Blood crawled from all the women's hair and lips. Scott's visor was put over his head and his sunglasses were slashed with blood.

Kurt let out a blood curling scream. One that pierced through everyone's bones.

"Thought I was your friend, huh?" Logan's voice came as lightning flashed with fury again and a loud crash of thunder ran through Kurt's veins. Logan came out with blood all over his claws. Kurt screamed once more and tried to bamf but was caught between Logan's claws upon his shirt.

"Logan, vhat did you do?" Kurt exclaimed with fear that shook in his voice.

"I killed them, that's what!" Logan exclaimed as he plunged towards Kurt. But the sound of hiccup rang through the room and another bamf.

"What in the hell is that elf's problem?" Logan asked with fury as the light switch turned on and they all shook their heads. "He ain't scared of loosing ya'll, I'll show him."

………………………………...

"I have to get out of here," Kurt whispered to himself as he grabbed his suitcase from the top of his closet in a rush to leave. His body was shaking heavily.

Something made him scream, something made him scared. Something made him jump, something that sounded like… Scott. "Hey,

Kurt."

It was Scott. Kurt turned around and ran over to him. He gave him a great big hug and then, in turn, gave everyone standing next to him a hug. "Too much love," Rogue admitted as she tapped his back with a solemn expression.

"Hiccups finally gone?" Jean asked as she waited for Kurt to reply. He waited a few minutes and nodded.

"Hey, zey are gone," Kurt said with a smile. "Hey, isn't everyone supposed to be dead?"

"It, like, turns out that us being alive is what got rid of the hiccups," Kitty said, followed by a fit of giggles.

"I'm glad your hiccups are gone, Kurt, but our Saturday's wasted," Jean said with a sigh.

"Heh, I zink I vill never get za hiccups ever again." With that said, he promptly fainted.

"Kurt?" Kitty asked as she fanned him.

"Oh well," Jean said as they dropped him and left the room.

………………………………...

If you laughed, then my mission is accomplished. Hehe. REVIEW!